Keep in mind that eighty-five percent of people on the planet will never walk down that road and there is nothing wrong with that. Not everyone is on a Spiritual path or Journey. Not everyone is ready. That is not a character flaw… it is just where that person is at this time in space. Try to honor and respect each persons’ Journey even though sometimes it can be very hard to watch.
Be kind and gentle to yourself and listen to your body. Give it rest when needed, eat healthy food and moderate exercise and keep hydrated. Remember that one meltdown will not totally rid you of the pain. They say issues are like an onion that needs to be peeled back layer by layer. I like to think of it as a grain of sand that has infiltrated an oysters shell. We cover it with layer after layer of material to protect our soft interior but in the end, if we are lucky and successful we are left with a precious gift… a pearl.
In the light… Mysticdreamer ~
Glenn woke up with the familiar uncomfortable feeling that always seemed to be in the background of her consciousness. She’d spent the majority of her life living with anxiety to more or lesser degree. Most times it was manageable while other times it made it impossible for her to function. When Michael left she had a breakdown of sorts which she never told anyone about. Being here in Burk’s Falls enveloped in the unconditional love of her family had given her the time she needed to find emotional balance in her life. Glenn realized with relief that she wasn’t as broken as she thought. She was cracked and damaged yes but NOT broken.
Glenn sat up in bed but this morning she had to force herself to put her feet on the ground and start her day. She shuffled into the kitchen. Sona was sitting there as usual enjoying the tranquility and solitude of the early morning. “Oh god you look like hell!” Sona blurt out without thinking. “Um… thanks?” Glenn said going straight to the coffee maker. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sona asked. “I haven’t been drinking if that’s what you’re thinking… and no I don’t want to talk about it. Just the same shit.” Glenn downed almost her entire mug of coffee scalding her throat in the process. “I’m here if you need anything sweetie.” Sona offered. “I know. I have to get to work. I’ll see you later.” Glenn retreated as quickly as possible.
The morning rush was uneventful but Glenn found herself feeling fragile and feeling more and more like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. It was only a matter of time and the worst part was she didn’t even know why. Glenn went into the diner kitchen to see about a special order but when she went to return to the dining room she walked straight into Yvette. The plate of food she’d been carrying crashed to the floor. Glenn ran to the back door before anyone could see the tears that had welled up in her eyes.
Markie whistled to herself as she strolled into the diner. She knew when her favorite pie was being baked and she’d been thinking about it all morning. Her mouth watered at the thought of a thick slab of strawberry rhubarb pie with real whipped cream on top. From what she could see the diner seemed to be busier than usual with a large number of long haul truckers in the parking lot. The workers who were working on the lot and were in the process of building the outdoor seating area probably accounted for the extra patrons.
Markie went to the back booth and was grateful that spot was reserved for family and friends. She was about to sit down when she heard a crash and loud voices coming from the kitchen. Markie jumped up and went to investigate. “What’s going on back here?” She asked even before she could assess the situation. One of the Sous Chefs pointed to the back door in response. Yvette was half way through the back door when Markie popped her head out and saw Glenn. “You take care of the diner. I’ll take care of my sister.” Markie told Yvette.
Yvette nodded and went back to work leaving Markie and Glenn alone. Glenn was seated on an old milk crate with her head in her hands sobbing. Markie pushed another crate close and sat down. “Hi” She said gently. Glenn stopped crying but continued to cover her face. “What happened?” Markie prodded gently. “I’m having a fucking nervous breakdown! What does it look like Markie?” Glenn shouted. Markie reflexively sat back from the verbal assault while at the same time noticing her sisters’ red and swollen eyes for the first time.
Markie’s expression softened. “I know that honey but what brought it on?” Markie continued to ask with compassion. Glenn looked at her sister like she was from another planet. “I have social anxiety Markie! How can you not fucking know that!? I’ve had it all my life.” Glenn said impatiently. Markie just looked at her sister. Tears streamed down Glenn’s face and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. Markie knew that nothing she could say would make any difference at this point.
Markie reached out and placed her arm around her baby sister. She tried to pull her close for a hug but Glenn resisted. Markie and Glenn had never been the touchy feely types with each other and hugs were rarely doled out but she thought Glenn knew how much she loved her. When Glenn needed help moving or to borrow the car when hers was in the shop or even when she needed a place to crash Markie’s door had always been open. It occurred to her now that Glenn needed a more demonstrative approach. Markie pulled her in for a hug again and this time Glenn allowed it. “I’m sorry I’m such an asshole sometimes. I didn’t realize how rough it’s been for you honey. No offense, but you’ve been very good at disguising your stress and anxiety over the years. I guess I thought it was something you were managing.” Markie admitted.
Glenn clutched her tightly while sobbing into her chest. “I love you Glenn and I’m always here for you.” Markie said the words but they almost caught in her throat. Why was it so hard to say “I love you” to her baby sister? She decided that she was going to keep saying it until it flowed smoothly and comfortably off her tongue. Glenn sobbed all the stored up emotions and stress she’d been holding onto for so long. She let Markie hold her long after she’d stopped crying enjoying being enveloped in Markie’s strong protective energy. “I’m sorry I swore at you.” Glenn finally said as she sat upright. “It’s ok. I needed to hear it. We’re comfortable giving each other a hard time but not so much when it comes to saying the really important stuff. I’m going to do better I promise.” Markie said looking her sister in the eyes. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I think I was born broken.” Glenn said. “You’re not broken Sweetie, you’re just a sensitive soul.”
Markie reached out and moved a strand of hair out of Glenn’s eyes. “Is working here going to cause you too much stress?” Markie asked. Glenn smiled crookedly. “No actually I’m really enjoying working and meeting new people. I’m glad you asked me to come to Burk’s Falls.” Glenn said. “I’m glad you’re here too. Can you tell me what brought all this on today?” Markie smiled warmly. Glenn took a deep breath and heard it catch in her throat. “Stuff just builds up and it’s like a volcano. Pressure builds up slowly until eventually it needs to be released.” Glenn tried to explain.
Markie nodded understanding. “Can you go back to work or do you need to go home for the rest of the day?” Markie asked still concerned. “I think I’m going to be ok. Mind you I have had times where I just balled for three days and just wanted to hide in my house but I feel ok today. Thanks for being there and not making fun of me.” Glenn said looking down at her hands. “Now that I know what’s going on with you I’ll try to be more understanding… no promises though. I’ve been told I can be a bit of a jerk.” Markie said straight faced. “You’re not that bad.” Glenn agreed. ~
Glenn went back to work for the rest of her shift and thankfully everything went smoothly. Yvette took most of the orders doing double duty behind the counter until Glenn told her she was fine. Glenn smiled seeing Emma and Spencer arrived after school for their shifts. She really loved having them around. The diner stayed busy until almost closing time as it was meatloaf and fried chicken night. Most of the food served at the diner had a decidedly healthy slant but sometimes people just wanted comfort food. Glenn liked that everyone could find something they liked on the menu.
; Emma dropped Spencer off at home after their shift while Glenn stayed to supervise the evening cleaning staff. Georgio had the night off and Glenn sent Yvette home. Glenn sat at the back booth looking over the books. She was more than a little curious how the diner did financially and she was pleasantly surprised at how well the diner was doing. The cleaning staff finished up so Glenn went to put the ledgers back in Tullio’s desk and lock everything up tight. She wanted to take one last look around and to triple check that everything was turned off. Glenn snapped the last of the lights off and started toward the door when an older fragile looking woman wearing a flowered dress with a white lace collar strolled in. “Excuse me ma’am but we’re closed.” Glenn said. The woman smiled warmly. “Thank you dear. I just had to get a look at the old place.” The woman said smiling warmly.
Glenn moved closer until she was only a few feet away as the woman held out her hand. Glenn reached out her hand and shook the soft warm hand of the woman amazed at her completely white wispy hair. “Did you work here?” Glenn asked her. “Not exactly my dear. My husband and I owned this diner. He always said I could cook up a storm and he loved people.” The woman suddenly had a far-away look on her face as if she were remembering. Glenn was feeling particularly accommodating and she felt strangely drawn to this woman so she offered to show her around. “No no… that’s not necessary. I’ll come back again when you’re open. It was very nice meeting you my dear.” The woman said as she gave Glenn a warm smile and retreated silently out the door.
Glenn hesitated momentarily. ”Come back tomorrow and I’ll have Chef whip you up something special…” Glenn called out to the woman and followed her out the door but when she stepped over the threshold her words were cut short. Glenn looked in every direction but the old woman was gone. She hurried and looked around the side of the building but saw nothing. The hair on her arms and neck suddenly stood on end. Glenn stood with her hands on her hips wondering what had just happened. Finally she locked the door of the diner and went to her car. She took one last look around before she climbed into the drivers’ seat and pinched the bridge of her nose. It had been a long day and she was ready to go home. ~
Chapter Eighteen
The next day Glenn told the diner staff about the old woman the previous evening. Georgio and Yvette looked knowingly at each other. Glenn caught the look and asked them to explain. Both of her new friends shuffled uncomfortably. Glenn took a deep breath. “Alright spit it out you two.” She said with an audible sigh. Georgio and his helper went back to their prep work obviously avoiding the question. Glenn looked at Yvette expectantly. “There have been rumors that Mrs. Cole comes by once in a while to check on the diner.” Yvette offered. Glenn rolled her eyes. “Who is this Mrs. Cole?” She asked. “She’s the woman who built this place originally. It was a dream she and her husband had.” Yvette said before turning away to make sure the condiment containers were full. “But I thought the people that built this place never completed it because the wife died and…” Glenn let her words trail off as she tried to wrap her mind around this realization. “I shook her hand. Is this whole frigging town haunted?” She mumbled under her breath. Yvette didn’t respond. ~
Sona had one spot open at her after school program since Irene left. She’d received a phone call from a woman who wanted to find a place for her two special needs children so Sona agreed to meet with her. Thankfully Lydia had returned to work and her wrist was mending nicely. She was getting used to the children and the routine and everything was going along nicely. It took time to get used to each childs’ specific quirks but they had come to like her very much. Sona was reluctant to upset the delicate balance but when the call came she agreed to meet.
Markie had moved her office to the Pastors old library so she would have more space for her photography equipment. The office was exquisite with oak paneled walls and desk, ornate gothic door frames with leaded windows and worn leather furnishings. Markie was taking her “job” as family protector very seriously and she was intent on being close by for Sona and the girls just in case there was a recurrence of the previous week.
Ms. Lawson arrived with her daughters in tow. Sona guided them into the recreation room while Lydia stood at a distance to observe. Sona gestured to her desk where they could have a private chat and get to know each other a little better. Ms. Lawson was a stocky woman who walked with purpose into the space scrutinizing everything as she went. The eldest daughter, who was in high school plopped herself down on the floor and rocked back and forth in spite of there being an available chair. The other daughter who looked to be in middle school carried an armful of stuffed animals and just stood nearby.
Sona had seen insecure children carry blankets or a stuffed animal but this child held as many as her stubby arms could hold. Ms. Lawson sat down smiling. She explained that she and her boyfriend both worked and there was a gap between the time school ended and when they arrived home from work of about two hours. As Ms. Lawson spoke the elder daughter interrupted several times to ask Sona questions. Sona patiently answered them until they became personal in nature and then she skillfully changed the topic.
Ms. Lawson explained that she and her daughters had been having trouble with the Educational Assistants at the school. She’d made several calls to the Board of Education with no satisfactory result. She also explained that they had several Personal Support Workers that had been assigned to their care but none of them had worked out. There seemed to be something “wrong” with each and every one of them. Sona was starting to see a pattern and suspected that the problem wasn’t with the various workers.
Sona watched the younger daughter Amy as she circled the room out of the corner of her eye. Ms. Lawson continued to explain that her Sitter had found other employment so she was desperate to have her daughters placed in a suitable program. The younger of the two siblings dropped her Stuffies and went straight to a cork board that Sona had asked Markie to erected to display the Childrens’ artwork. Amy quickly and without warning tore several of the pictures off the board tearing and crumpling them as she went. It was a flurry of destruction and unprovoked aggression.
Ms. Lawson went to stop her but when confronted Amy immediately started to punch herself around her head and face. Ms. Lawson went to her purse and pulled out a portable DVD player, turned on a Disney movie and handed it to Amy. Sona watched both children with fascination especially noticing the family dynamics involved. Neither child had learned boundaries and aside from giving them everything they wanted, when they wanted them there didn’t seem to be any attempt at direction. Red flags went up in Sona’s head.
Ms. Lawson seemed to blame both the EA’s at the school and the seemingly endless string of caregivers for her children’s behavioral and social problems. Sona stood to signal the conclusion of the interview. Ms. Lawson instructed the elder daughter Cathy to help her younger sister with her stuffed animals but instead of helping Cathy went on a verbal diatribe asking why she always had to help and a dozen other topics. Cathy finally picked up a few of the herd of Stuffies as Amy screamed and threw the ones she’d been carrying on the floor. Sona knew that this family needed more than what she was capable or prepared to do when it came to care.
Sona concluded the interview and walked the threesome to the door just as Shaley, Spencer and the rest of the gang arrived. “I’m sorry Ms. Lawson but I only have one position available and to be honest I don’t think this program is suited for your needs.” Sona tried to be honest while at the same time trying not to hurt her feelings. “But I really need help here and you have all this room! Can’t you find some way to allow my girls to attend? I am subsidized and if necessary I can add a little bit more money on top of the regular fee.” Ms. Lawson’s voice started to rise in volume. “I’m very sorry Ms. Lawson.” Sona said smiling and holding her hand out to shake with the woman. Ms. Lawson ignored the outstretched hand while not even trying to disguise her decidedly pissed off expression.
Shaley and Spencer ran down the ha
ll toward the recreation room giggling as they went. When they saw Sona and Ms. Lawson they slid to a stop. “Wain” Spencer said to her. “Is it raining?” Sona asked him. “Ya.. mowo” Spencer replied. “It’s going to rain tomorrow too?” She asked him. “Yup” Spencer giggled pulling his cowlick. Some of the Educational Assistants that worked every day with Spencer all year still didn’t understand him but Sona seemed to understand him perfectly. With a few words and simple hand signs he was almost always able to get his point across. Sona smiled and rubbed his back gently guiding the kids into the Rec room.
Sona watched the Lawson family get into their mini-van and pull out of the driveway before returning to the basement Recreation room. “What happened here Auntie?” Shaley asked Sona. She held up pieces of the torn art questioningly. “I was just interviewing a family for the spot Irene vacated.” Sona told her noncommittally. “I know those two. One goes to the high school with Emma and Spencer and I’ve seen the other at my school. Are they joining the program?” Shaley asked frowning. “No…bad!” Spencer said adamantly shaking his head and pointing to his shredded art work. “Don’t worry Spencer. We don’t have room for them here. Their mom will have to find some other place for them.” Sona reassured the children. “That lady has prickly energy.” Shaley said making a face that looked like she had just bit into a lemon.
Lydia took this opportunity to move closer. “Ok guys, who wants to make sock puppets?” She said cheerfully changing the subject. Spencer and Elizabeth quickly ran over to the activity table. Sona and Shaley had spent some time the previous day buying a package of tube socks, white glue, colored felt and wool. They made braids and hair pieces with the wool, assorted shapes for faces, bows and clothing all ready to be applied. All the kids needed was their imagination and glue and Bob’s your Uncle… customized sock puppets.
The Crystal Visions: A Families Journey into the Paranormal Volume 2 Page 12