Alex recoiled, her heart stopping at his words and her skin growing cold despite the summer temperature. He said nothing more, but turned and left. Not a farewell, or apology, or a bid of friendship. But in truth, she would have had trouble registering anything more.
She didn’t move for a long time after. She couldn’t. There was nothing left inside her. She was stunned by the shock of knowing she would not see him again. The shock of having him hate her so completely. And the shock of knowing that more and more she was becoming like the red-haired figure in the carpet. The one that stared up at her now while smiling mockingly with her arm directed toward devastation and ruin. The symbol of Lilith, Heatherly said. That was what she carried with her. The mark of evil, betrayal, and destruction. Every word Joshua had said was true, and she couldn’t help wondering if she had not just destroyed something else.
Chapter Nineteen
“Precious.” Reginald Paxton laughed in pure delight. “Absolutely precious!” He held up the journal to indicate his pleasure. “And the map, too!” He plopped into a chair of the luxurious apartment his cousin kept, appreciating the comforts of land. “Ah! Life is good.”
His cousin, Lady Liz Beauveau, joined him. She looked a bit tired these days, her strong-boned face somewhat handsome, but deep lines of age were setting in despite a variety of treatments to fight the effects. Still, she was a shrewd partner in their high-end trading business.
“She is a kelile. Apparently the last,” Reginald told his cousin. “She must be a descendant. But she doesn’t seem to know it. We might have to kill her. Or …” His gaze turned thoughtful.
“What are you scheming?” Liz asked.
“I wonder what the sultan might pay to redeem his honor—and obtain the keeper of the prophecy. Damn. The chit is likely worth a lot more to us if she’s alive.”
“We have room to add more cargo, if that’s what you are asking. But what of the rumors? Men are terrified to sail with her.”
Reginald shrugged. “Stories get exaggerated.” He turned the pages of the journal. “Whatever power she currently has is based on luck, experience, and money—three things that make anyone seem invincible to a commoner.”
Liz poured herself some sherry and topped off his port. “And the astrolabe?”
“Yes. Odd, that bit.” He pulled the chain from around his neck and fingered the disc at the end. “It seems her mother was not the only member of the family to have a portion of it. It might be the final piece of the puzzle.” He tucked the medallion away. “Or Miss Stafford might be. Only she doesn’t know it.”
Joshua left Lilyfield as if the hounds of hell were at his feet. He couldn’t speak. A good thing, no doubt, after the damage he’d already inflicted. She’d flinched. From him. She’d tried to hide it, but he knew her too well not to see it. He had hurt her. Deliberately. Something he never wanted to do.
Damn, but she made him furious. And frustrated. She was being stubborn, pure and simple.
Colin returned to Stonewood Manor and Lord Heatherly to the Ashford Inn, both happy for well-deserved sleep, but Joshua spurred Cyclone on in the morning light until both horse and rider were exhausted. He could not stop thinking about her. He told his servants not to disturb him and for hours he paced his room, trying to figure out what went wrong, what went right, and all the reasons why he should just give up.
He could have mentioned Heatherly sooner. Or perhaps shared that he had asked Colin to use his government contacts to help search for Paxton. But until there were results, there was no point in getting her hopes up. Certainly, he had been wrong to say she left a path of death and destruction, but she needed to stop and think about her actions more. She constantly put herself in danger, as if she were invincible or—Joshua stopped in his tracks.
No. She couldn’t really think that.
A chill went up his spine. She carried guilt for the death of both her parents. And how many more? Did she think she had to die to make it better? He paced more quickly, worried.
She didn’t need to leave. They had only just found each other. He fingered the ring she had given him that first night they met. Her marker. He would use it if necessary.
“Marcus, honestly it was a wonderful evening. No harm was done in the end.”
Marcus looked at Emma as if she’d lost her mind. The guests had left, and the others were in bed, but she’d cornered him in his study where he waited for Lord Merriton’s return.
“Quite frankly, you should be happy that I have friends who are so concerned about my well-being,” she said.
“You will go with Aunt Matilda to London and she will introduce you to a number of appropriate companions.”
“I don’t want to go to London! My work is here. On the estate. Who will run it if I leave?”
This time Marcus looked incredulous. “A short visit to London will not bring ruin on the estate. Besides, I thought you wanted to marry. There will surely be better offerings in town.”
Emma froze, then swallowed the bitter realization he had just inflicted on her. “Surely,” she agreed.
She still had on her ball gown. For a short moment that night, she had thought he’d looked at her with more than just brotherly affection. She could not have been so mistaken. Could she? She walked over to him. Ha. That was the look. She smiled.
“Don’t you wish to kiss me good night, Marcus?”
“It’s morning.”
“It’s still my birthday.” She stepped up to him and pressed her chest to his, pretending innocence as she lifted her cheek to the side for his lips. He gave her a quick peck and pressed her shoulders away, forcing her back. Interestingly, he did not let go.
“You do understand my position on Miss Stafford?”
“Completely.”
He sighed with obvious relief. “Good.” He released her and stepped back.
She laughed. “But I don’t agree, and I have no intention of cutting my dearest friend because others are too shallow, pompous, and self-absorbed to recognize all the goodness inherent in everything she does for others.”
“Killing people aside,” Marcus mocked.
“And what would you have her do?” Emma shouted. “Would you have her leave me to potential villains because it would cause less scandal? Alex was protecting me. Would you not kill someone if they threatened me? Or perhaps you would be quite pleased to be done with this burden on your time!”
She had gone too far. She saw it instantly when he crossed the short distance between them and grabbed her firmly by the shoulders, his face inflexible.
“I would kill anyone who touched you. Make no mistake, Emma.”
She breathed hard, his usual lordly mask stripped bare, something raw and violent in its place. Emotions he never let her see were now open to her. But she wondered sadly if it might be too late, for surely he was forcing her to make a choice that she could not.
“How can you doubt it? I want only to protect you.”
She shook her head, a lone tear freeing itself from her lashes. “No, Marcus.” She reached to him and touched one high-boned cheek. Then she did the one thing she wanted to do before it was too late. She kissed him.
It was only a brush of her lips. Enough to make them tingle. Enough for her to feel the sudden increased speed of his heartbeat under her fingertips. It wasn’t nearly what she wanted, but it would have to be enough. She drew back.
“You don’t want to protect me. You want to suffocate me.” She wiped another offending tear from her cheek. “You want me to choose between you and Alex.”
His stiff mask was back in place. “I ask only for a little common sense.”
“Of course. So I should end my friendship with Alex, go to London, and find someone suitably boring to marry. I presume then that you would be free to do the same. And we would remain friends and our children would grow up to repeat our excessively boring and loveless lives, and all will be appropriate and quite common. Yes, I believe I am very clear, Marcus.”
“You
needn’t be so dramatic.” He smiled, as if relieved to have his way.
“Ah, but it is dramatic. Friends betrayed, love lost? All for the sake of leading a meaningless and dull life? That seems very dramatic.”
Emma experienced a bitterness in her heart she hadn’t previously known existed. She looked at the man she had loved so long and for so many reasons. This was a new side she had to accept. And it seemed he could not love her enough to trust her choice in friends. She was at the door when she turned to look at him one last time.
“Good-bye, Marcus.”
“You mean, good night,” he corrected.
She shrugged a shoulder to show she didn’t care and it no longer mattered.
“Whatever you say.”
Alex hadn’t gone to bed yet. When Emma was brought to her room, she guessed her friend had not slept either. Upon seeing the disarray of open trunks, Emma was immediately on alert.
“What’s going on?” Emma demanded.
Alex rushed to her, relieved to have the chance to apologize in person. “Oh, Emma! I am so, so sorry about last night.” She reached for her friend’s hands. “I never, never wanted it to turn out that way. It’s all my fault. I ruined the most important occasion of your life because I am a complete idiot—”
Emma cut her off. “Nonsense. Joshua should have told you what was going on. I don’t know why men think they need to keep all the information to themselves. I swear, they are hoarders. Is it too much to ask for a little communication?”
Emma turned from her, clearly frustrated. Alex chewed her lip, guessing it did not go well with the earl after she had left.
“But this …” Emma swung a hand around the room. “What is this?”
Alex spoke gently. “I’m going home.”
Emma spun on her, voice sharp. “Because of last night?”
“Partially. Also because it’s time. And I can’t risk any further danger to Aunt Maggie,” she explained. “I’ll go to London today, and Stephen will follow in a couple days with the rest of our baggage.”
Emma nodded. Surprisingly calm. “I’ll come with you.”
“I’ll be in London for a little while. I would welcome your company if the earl doesn’t mind. I could ask Aunt Maggie to join us as a proper chaperone. Or you have Lady Matilda as well. She is also welcome.”
“To America,” Emma elaborated.
“What?” Alex nearly dropped the blouse she was folding.
“There is nothing left for me here. Marcus will never love me. Not how I wish it. And on top of that, he is incredibly stupid.” She paced to the bed and started to help fold Alex’s clothing, albeit a little too enthusiastically. “Incredibly stupid!”
“I see.” Alex waited a moment to see if she was done. “You are, of course, completely welcome to join me.” She took the blouse Emma held before the material could accidentally get torn in her friend’s passionate helpfulness. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“You fought because of me.”
“No!”
Alex looked at her friend in disbelief.
“Well, not exactly. It was more about him not trusting my judgment.” Emma grabbed a skirt and began to roll and crush. “And being stupid!”
Alex winced at the tortured skirt. It was one of the few she actually liked.
“I can travel to London with Aunt Matilda. Marcus was sending me there anyway. To get away from you. Ha! He will have to be happy that I’m obedient about that at least!”
Emma reached for a green waist-cut jacket to fold and Alex snatched it before Emma did. Her friend stopped abruptly.
“You’re leaving today?”
“Yes.” Alex put the green jacket in a trunk to be brought to London later.
“Will you say good-bye to Joshua? Oh, I completely forgot! Is Kendall okay? No one else was hurt last night? The men were gone so long. What happened? You are going to say good-bye to Joshua, aren’t you?” Emma repeated, confronting Alex.
“We said good-bye last night.”
“And?”
Alex shrugged nonchalantly. “Nothing. We agreed we aren’t right for each other.”
“You were civilized?”
“Of course I was civilized!” Alex returned, defensive.
“No, I meant both of you. It was a civilized conversation?”
“Yes. Of course. We determined that I destroy everything I touch and leave a path of dead bodies behind me, which clearly is why Marcus does not want you within ten feet of me.”
“Joshua said that?”
Alex shrugged to indicate it didn’t matter. “It’s true. And Marcus has good reason for his opinions. That’s why I’m leaving. I can’t bear to see anyone else I care about hurt by Paxton and his senseless ambitions for some legendary treasure.” She fingered the astrolabe. As long as Paxton was alive, anyone near Alex could be a target.
“Joshua is not going to London with you?” Emma seemed confused about this still.
“Emma!” Alex breathed to calm herself. “I already told you, we said our good-byes.”
“It’s just …” Emma collapsed on the bed, dejected. “I don’t want you to go.”
Alex sat next to her and squeezed her friend’s perfect, soft fingers in comfort. “I know.”
Marcus woke up early in the afternoon, unable to sleep any longer. Something about what Emma said still bothered him. Friends betrayed, love lost. Whose love? he wondered. It was too much to think about. He was grateful when Langley announced the Duke of Worthington’s appearance.
Joshua looked as tired as Marcus felt. “Did you sleep?”
“Not much. I came to apologize about the Heatherly incident. Entirely my fault.”
“Really? I don’t recall seeing you pull a gun on one of my guests.”
“Don’t be cruel to her. She was defending Emma. At least she thought so. Foolish though that impulse was. I don’t understand what is wrong with women.”
“We agree there.” He waved to the refreshments. “Tea?”
“Something stronger if you’ve got it.”
Joshua plopped in a chair. Marcus thought his friend looked worried. “What happened last night? At Lilyfield.”
“A lot. Alex has been keeping some secrets for a long time.” He accepted the glass of whisky Marcus handed over, and stared into it as if he had an unsolvable problem with no easy solution. “I can tell you some of the story. The rest is Alex’s to keep. For now.” He set the drink down untouched, and reached inside his shirt to pull out the small ring he kept on a thin, loose chain. He took it off, and swung it in front of Marcus.
“Remember this?”
“From your harem girl.”
Joshua nodded. Then he surprised Marcus. “It’s Alex’s.”
“What?” Marcus’s teacup rattled when he put it down. “How?”
“How do you think?” Joshua laughed.
“Good God! She’s the girl? Impossible!” Marcus grabbed at his hair making it stand on end, mystified by the revelation. “And yet,” he looked at Joshua, working it out, “who else could it be? Her family’s business, her penchant for mischief, her use of firearms. Indeed, she is very athletic and spirited.” He shook his head with agreement. “I find this really should not astonish me so much. In fact, heaven help us if there had been more than one woman on earth who could cause this much trouble.”
“Through no fault of her own, of course.” Joshua smiled.
“Of course,” Marcus said. “Tell me the rest.”
Merriton entered at that moment. “Wait! Tell me as well. I could use a good tale. What did I miss? And does no one sleep in anymore?” He yawned, observing Joshua’s drink. “Helluva night. I’ll have what he’s having.”
Marcus poured another glass, and Joshua started over, getting their friend caught up. By the time he was done, they were all working on a second drink.
Colin leaned back from their huddle, finally able to put all the pieces together. “More intrigue than any assignment I have ev
er had. So …” Colin looked to Joshua to solve the most immediate problem. “If I am to understand correctly, you are concerned Miss Stafford won’t speak to you after you told her she leaves a trail of destruction behind her.”
“Actually,” Joshua planted his forehead into his hand, “I said trail of death and destruction.”
“You devil. That old English charm bedazzling the women again.”
“It’s the truth,” Marcus defended. “But I’d never say it to her face. She might hurt me.”
The three clinked glasses to that truth, then stood when the butler entered, announcing Stephen Stafford.
“Stephen,” Colin greeted. “You are the only who looks to have slept.”
Stephen nodded. “I cannot stay long, I only came to make my farewells and deliver these messages.” He handed one to Colin and one to the Earl of Stonewood. “We are leaving for London tomorrow and will be heading back to America soon. Alex asked that I extend her apologies for being unable to say good-bye in person.”
Joshua snapped straight. “What do you mean?” Stephen turned to him, more reserved than Joshua had seen before. Worry tingled the back of his neck.
“Alex left this morning. I will meet up with her tomorrow.”
Joshua felt the gut punch. He knew she would leave, but he didn’t think it would be so soon. He touched the ring through his shirt, catching Colin’s eye on him.
Colin spoke for him, understanding. “Nothing for my friend, the duke?”
Stephen shook his head apologetically.
Colin opened his envelope and read parts aloud. “Alex extends her warmest regards and thanks for my assistance … I am ‘most charming, kind, and helpful.’ She would be honored to see me the next time she is in England or I am in Boston. Excellent! I’ve still got a fighting chance.”
Joshua sighed.
Stephen tried to reassure. “She can’t be leaving too soon. Emma is to join us for a stay. The marriage opportunities are thought to be much better in London, after all.”
Marcus scowled.
Stephen flopped in a chair. “I’m only the messenger.”
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