1. He was very good-looking.
2. He made me laugh.
3. I was comfortable with him.
Everything seemed alright there. I wracked my brain trying to work out why the hell I wasn’t chomping at the bit to rip his clothes off. All I could come up with was that we were work colleagues—probably not the best place to be if we got serious and then broke up. Then again, other people made it work.
Two more thoughts entered my head. I shoved them away shamefully but they wouldn’t leave.
1. He's not Josh.
2. He's not Scott.
Bloody hell, get a grip, I told myself. What the hell was I thinking? Josh was a non-committal so and so who thought I would pander to his every need and take him back just because he wanted me to. I didn’t think so. And Scott, as lovely as he had been, was certainly best out of my life. I was getting too emotional, and he obviously wasn’t looking for the same thing. It was, in fact, a good thing that Sean told me what he had seen and I moved on from Scott before I really made an idiot out of myself.
I bit my lip, feeling guilty at my thoughts, and attempted to look at Sean in a new light as he finished tidying up (a trait I must say was not possessed by Josh), sat down next to me, and started nuzzling my neck. The air got hot and heavy as his kisses became more determined and his hands dared stroke higher up my thigh and further down my cleavage. I cursed my boldness at wearing such a low-cut top and tempting chance. This was too soon. I gently pushed him away, smiling coyly to indicate that I wasn’t offended by his persistence.
“Sorry,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I guess I was getting a bit carried away.”
“No, it’s fine.” I placed my hand on his thigh. “Just a bit too soon, that’s all.” What was with the sudden change in moral standing? I had kissed Sean a week ago and didn’t wish to go any further, yet (even if out of character) I’d slept with Scott three times in the same period. I needed to cut through the awkwardness. “How about we go for a walk? It’s a beautiful night.”
He placed a lingering kiss on my lips in reply. “Good idea.”
***
“So you’re sure you wouldn’t bonk Ray?” Sean kept a straight face as I giggled uncontrollably. “Come on, doesn't it turn you on the way he lines up his stationery? What about when he tells one of his dumb jokes? I’ve seen all you girls checking him out.” We’d walked several blocks, and the spring night air was cool and crisp. We were playing the ‘who in the office would you bonk’ game and so far he had admitted to Rachel; Carmel, a sexy forty-something of Spanish descent (with the seductive accent to match) in marketing; and Pippa, as long as she didn’t talk. Oh, and me of course.
I mischievously left him out of my responses, instead opting for Owen, an older, very married gent in Sales who was sexy in a Sean Connery kind of way, and Gabriel, one of the advertising team who somehow seemed too cute to be straight—whatever that meant—but no one was able to confirm.
“Surely you’d bonk Bronwyn?” I asked cheekily as we approached a pub with the heavy thump of a live band playing inside. As we got closer, the song gradually became all too familiar. “Sounds like your mates are playing here again tonight.” Sean remarked, not hearing my joke. “Want to go in?”
Shit. As I hadn’t been to PeaSeas to watch Reckless Choice play, I didn’t know where it was, and as I was making an emotion-saving concerted effort to stay away from Scott, after they played at the pub near Avalon, I no longer kept track of where they were playing. “Yeah... alright.” It was now or never. I had to show myself, if anyone, that I could happily move on. PeaSeas was a newly built bar with modern black and white fittings, very different to the other older, more traditional pubs I'd seen the band play at. The crowd seemed more sophisticated as well, and I was thankful that I was in my sexy top and heels. As usual, the inside of the room was sweltering with wall to wall bodies. As Sean went to the bar, I argued with myself as to whether I should stay lost in the crowd, enjoy the night with Sean, and leave—knowing that Scott would be none the wiser that I was ever there—or do the adult thing by seeking out the band members and saying hello. I knew this was the right thing to do. Sometimes I didn’t like being an adult.
We watched the band from the back of the room, squashed together near an open door, which let in a refreshing breeze against the hot, sweaty crowd, Sean’s arm loosely wrapped around my waist while I leaned forward just slightly to allow the air to flow between us and cool my dampening back. It had been a while since I had seen the band play, and they had somehow evolved as their popularity grew. Hair was longer, clothes were more stylish, and—what was that?—eyeliner? And I thought Scott couldn’t get any sexier. I ignored Sean’s groin against my back and watched Scott concentrate on his guitar playing, his expert fingers flicking the strings with casual abandon. I closed my eyes and realised I was wishing it was his body I was pressed against and that it was his hand resting lightly on my tummy, as it had done so many times before. I shouldn’t have come. It was easier when I didn’t see him-– easier to enjoy the company and attentions of other guys. But as nice and sexy as he was, and regardless of the fun we had had together, it wasn’t him I was pressed against, and it wasn't his hand purposefully and protectively wrapped around me. Surely this was better. Here I was with a guy who genuinely seemed to want to be with me. Sean didn’t see me as a casual bed partner, another notch to add to his bedpost. With him, I really was the only one, not one in a long line of convenient and easy shags.
“Hey, Abby.” I opened my eyes, not realising that the live music had switched to the jukebox while I was lost in my thoughts. Nathan was carrying his bass drum out the door and smiling a cheery hello. He looked from me to Sean, to the arm around me, which even I was surprised hadn't yet been removed. “Hey,” he said to Sean. “I’m Nathan. You must be Josh.”
“Sean. I work with Abby.” Sean didn’t appear to flinch, although I gasped in horror. I hadn’t seen much of Kate since she now spent most of her time with Nathan and hadn’t even had a chance to tell her about Sean, so it was understandable that they might have jumped to conclusions.
“Oh, shit, sorry,” Nathan said to me. “Kate told me your ex was back in town, and when you and Scotty – “
“No, it’s okay. Is she here?” I interrupted as the devil himself emerged behind Nathan through the crowd.
"No, she had to work late last night, so was too tired to make it tonight."
I nodded and turned to the newcomer. “Hey, Scott. How are you?” My voice was amazingly steady, despite the fact that my insides had turned to mush at the sight of him. He had that smudged eyeliner thing going on, which only accentuated the greenness of his eyes, and he was wearing a white T-shirt which left nothing about his muscular form to the imagination.
“Hi, Abby, good to see you.” He studied me for a moment before nodding politely at Sean, briefly taking in the arm which was had grown even tighter around my waist when Scott materialised. My annoyance at Sean changed swiftly to cold relief when Tanya broke through the crowd and locked her arm possessively through Scott’s. I reacted by placing my hand over Sean’s as he rubbed his thumb lightly over my stomach.
“Can I get you a drink, baby?” She gave us a dismissive glance and batted her eyelids at Scott. She didn’t appear to recognise me.
“I think I’ve got one coming," he said, smiling at her, which I sadly recognised as the first I had seen him flash all night. "I think you’ve met Abby and, I’m sorry I’ve forgotten your name.”
“Sean.”
“Sean, Abby’s boyfriend.” I opened my mouth to protest, but not before he disentangled his arm from Tanya’s and draped it affectionately around her shoulder. “This is Tanya.”
“Lovely to meet you both,” she said with the same false sweetness she had spoken to me in that night at The Village nightclub. I noticed a faint flicker of recognition as we locked eyes, and she smiled smugly at me. She was wearing a slinky, off the shoulder blouse, which did nothing to hide the fact
that her pert breasts were braless, and a pair of black, faux leather hot pants which made her legs seem to go on forever. I shrank further back into Sean’s arms.
“Are you guys okay for a drink?” Scott asked us.
“Actually, it’s getting late,” I replied before Sean could. I looked up at him with my best coquettish look. “We’d better get going. Shall we?” I kept my hand locked with his as I dragged him towards the exit. “Good to see you again,” I said pleasantly to Scott as we pushed past, avoiding eye contact while deliberately ignoring Tanya and inadvertently forgetting Nathan.
***
“Abby, what was that all about?” Sean asked after we left the noise of the bar behind and trudged back to his flat.
“What do you mean?” I had just realised we were still holding hands.
I let go, and he stopped. “Abby, I’m not stupid. He was more than just a friend, wasn’t he? I mean you practically broke my hand when he put his arm around that girl. She's not the one I saw last time, by the way.”
"Yeah, he's like that," I snapped. As I reached Sean’s building, I shook my head and turned back to him. “I’m sorry, Sean.”
“It’s okay.” He hustled me through the door. “I just want you to be honest with me. And who’s Josh?”
“Alright. This is the whole story.” I sat back on his couch, cup of tea in hand, and gathered my thoughts. “Josh is my ex-boyfriend. We were together for about three years and then one day, about six months ago, he tells me he’s moving interstate. I didn’t have any warning and was pretty cut up about it, obviously. Anyway about a month ago, after I thought I’d finally gotten over him, he calls up and wants to talk… and after what he did to me, I’ve been avoiding him. So that’s basically it with him.
“Scott and I met a few months back. We had a one nighter, and somehow it became a regular thing, and I stupidly thought I could deal with it, but I started to get feelings for him, and then when you said you saw him at PeaSeas and, you know...” I bit my lip and stared at the floor. “Well, after that I called it off. I'd been avoiding him lately, until tonight, and I guess I felt more than I thought I did, and... it was just still a bit hard to see him." Sean exhaled then pursed his lips, as though trying to work out what to say next. “I’m sorry, Sean.” I managed. “I didn’t mean to lead you on like this. Maybe we should hold off for a while, while I sort myself out. It’s not fair on you.”
His reply was surprising. “I’ve got a confession to make as well.” He looked at me sheepishly. “My recent break up is a bit more recent than I’ve let on, after you started at Avalon actually, not before.” He rubbed his face with both hands. “Thing is, Abby, I really think we have a connection and... well, if you would let me, I’d like to help you get over this guy.” He sat down next to me and took the cup from my hand, brushing my hair away from my face. “Can we give it a go?”
“Sean, I...” He placed a gentle kiss on my lips.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
KATE WAS BUSTLING about tidying her flat, adamant that I wasn’t to help and was to just sit and wait patiently for my cup of tea.
“You’re going all out to impress, aren’t you?” I lifted one eyebrow in a joking manner.
She stuffed some half folded towels into a bursting cupboard and pushed the protesting door shut. “You can’t talk.” She frowned pointedly at the recent highlights in my hair and new, shoulder-length cut. “Be careful they don’t notice at work that you’ve changed your hair. That’s got ‘new boyfriend’ written all over it.”
“Oh, they’ve asked,” I told her. “I don’t think any of them have even imagined that it’s Sean.” Even Rachel seemed to have come to a conclusion that my new boyfriend was outside of work, probably Josh, and had dropped all hints of a set up between Sean and me. If only she knew.
We heard a key in the door, and Nathan casually walked in as though he owned the place. So he had a key; Kate was cleaning; this certainly was getting serious.
“Abby!” He practically lunged for me after kissing Kate hello. “I am soooo sorry about the other night at PeaSeas. I hope I didn’t cause any problems.”
“No, it’s fine," I assured him. “It’s completely understandable, and we weren’t really going out...then.”
“Trust you to open your fat trap.” Kate punched him playfully in the stomach.
“You said Josh has a beard.” He whined at her. “Abby’s new guy has a beard. It’s an easy mistake to make.”
I laughed. “It’s fine, really.” Then I asked a somewhat painful question, not sure I wanted to know the answer. “So are Scott and Tanya...?“
“What?” Nathan ‘s face turned to horror—good sign. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
Then a strange look passed between him and Kate, a kind of knowing, about something that I was obviously better off not knowing. I frowned at Kate as Nathan went into the bedroom and came out wearing a different T-shirt. "I'd better get to rehearsals," he said, pinching an apple from the unusually well-stocked fruit bowl.
"Will you be home for dinner?" Kate asked him, reaching for the kettle that had just boiled.
"Yep, I'll see you soon." He kissed Kate and winked my way as he exited the flat.
Kate finally sat down and placed a cup of tea in front of me.
"How is Scott going, anyway?" I asked, still fixated on the strange look that passed between her and Nathan when I mentioned him.
"Oh,um." She appeared surprised, then shrugged. "I wish I could tell you."
I wasn't expecting that. "How come?"
"I never see him anymore. He's been leaving straight after the performances lately. Luke said he's been going out a lot."
I noticed Kate wouldn't look me in the eye and seemed to be deciding whether to continue.
"There's more, isn't there? Honestly, it's fine. I'm with Sean now. You can tell me."
She took a breath and pressed her lips together. “This is just speculation, okay? No one knows anything for sure."
"No one knows what for sure?"
"He told Luke he's been writing at the studio, and Luke doesn't believe him. He always does his writing at home. So Luke thinks..." She gave me a pained look.
"Kate, really it's okay." My heart was beating faster, reminding me that I wasn't sure it was okay at all. He's a womaniser, I reminded myself. It's better this way.
"Luke thinks he might be seeing someone."
"Oh." I tried to keep my voice neutral.
"He thinks he's covering up because she's married, or famous or something."
"A guy's gotta have sex, I guess." My own response surprised me. It wasn’t a problem. I was with Sean now. I needed to keep telling myself that.
"Yeah." Kate took a sip of her drink. "How about you?"
"No." I got up and rinsed my cup in the sink. "I think I need to take it slowly this time." Sean and I had been taking it very slowly over the last few weeks, getting to know each other before jumping into bed. After the lustful intensity of the nocturnal activities I had with Scott, it was nice to wait and be the subject of an old-fashioned courtship.. "Oh crap." Thinking of Sean suddenly reminded me, and I looked around. "I think I left my phone at home; I'd better go."
Sitting on my dresser, my phone showed two messages had been left while I was out: “Hi Abby. It’s Sean. Sorry, something’s come up. I won’t be able to come over tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
Damn. I sighed and moved on to the next message, hoping it was him again, letting me know his plans had changed. No such luck. It was from Josh, who must have been calling from a separate phone as I had kept his number so I knew not to answer.
“Hi Abby. It’s me again. Listen, I’m not going to give up on you. I’m going to keep calling you until you agree to see me. So if you want me to stop, it might just be easier if you pick up the phone and talk to me."
Yeah, that or I call the police, I thought, feeling more annoyed at Sean’s absence tonight than Josh’s infuriating phone calls, first to my landline and now
to my mobile.
I didn’t let my annoyance show at work the following morning. An email was the first thing to greet me as I sat down at my desk. “Sorry about last night. Can I make it up to you tomorrow? I have all day. Can you come over in the morning?”
Sean’s idea of making it up to me involved a romantic movie followed by a picnic in a beautiful garden park. I was impressed, “How long have you had this planned?”
“I’ve wanted to do this for a while, but I had to order the food this morning,” he admitted, placing smoked salmon on a buttered crusty roll and bringing it to my lips. “A friend of mine has been a bit upset the last couple of nights. I didn’t get home till early this morning. Luckily, I’ve got a good relationship with a café up the road.”
“Is your friend alright?” I asked, feeling ashamed at my irritation towards him for not being able to see me the other night.
“Yeah,” he answered, looking thoughtfully at the ground. “Just some relationship stuff.” He put the bread down and touched my cheek lightly with his finger. “I would have preferred to be with you.” He leaned in and kissed my mouth, then discreetly pushed the strap of my sundress off my shoulder before replacing it with his lips. I shivered at his touch, wishing he had chosen a more secluded, less family-orientated park as a young couple, chasing two small boys on scooters, ran past. The man winked at us as I gently pushed Sean away and hooked my thumb under the strap to return it to its rightful place.
I grinned nervously at him while I packed up the picnic basket. “Maybe we should finish this at home?”
I didn’t mention the fact that his apartment had an abandoned look about it as he led me to his bedroom. The curtains were drawn, and there weren’t any signs of recent activity in the kitchen.
“We certainly took our time.” I muttered as he lifted my dress over my head.
He pulled me towards him. “I didn’t think you were ready. Besides...” He nuzzled my cleavage as he sensuously stroked my back, eventually undoing my bra. “Don’t you think the wait makes it so much better?”
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