I led her over to the hot pink snack shack in the center of the carnival that boasted corn dogs, fried oreos, cotton candy, snow cones, candy apples, funnel cake and kettle corn. Orders could be placed from each of the four sides, so I picked the shortest line and grinned at Alex. “What looks good?”
“All of it,” she teased. “I’ve honestly never tried any of these things except kettle corn.”
My eyes widened. “You’re joking!”
“What? I told you I’ve never been to a carnival.”
“Yeah but they sell half this stuff at baseball games.”
She shrugged. “My family’s always been strict about eating healthy. Your body is your temple and all that.”
“Well, this is your lucky day, because you haven’t lived until you’ve tried fried oreos,” I boasted, walking up to the window with confidence. “One sampler platter please.”
“You got it, Grant,” one of the boosters said.
A minute later Alex and I were balancing multiple plates of fried goodness as we made our way over to one of the picnic tables.
“I can’t believe we didn’t have to pay for any of this!” she exclaimed.
“Another perk of being a Trojan. We don’t even have to pay for gas during baseball season.”
Alex grinned. “Okay, maybe Northwood is growing on me.”
“Seriously? Free gas won you over?”
She laughed. “Have you seen the car I drive? That thing is a gas guzzler.”
“Yeah why do you drive a station wagon that looks like it belongs on the set of Stranger Things?”
She elbowed me playfully. “Hey, give Old Tess a break. She’s had five kids learn how to drive in her.”
“Looks like a few of those kids were conceived in her,” I joked.
“Gross!” Alex shouted throwing a piece of kettle corn at me.
I caught it and popped it into my mouth. “Are you ready to have your mind blown?” I asked handing her one of the deep fried oreos.
Alex took it, tentatively examining the golden dough coated in powdered sugar. It must have passed inspection because she took a bite and groaned with pleasure. The sound made my insides coil and I quickly popped an oreo in my own mouth to distract myself.
“This is the best thing I’ve ever had in my life,” she said reaching for another.
I laughed at the serious expression on her face. “I told ya. But don’t make any final decisions until you’ve tried everything,” I said pointing to the plates of funnel cake, corn dogs, and candy apples we’d scored.
We ate in comfortable silence, Alex occasionally moaning in delight each time she tried something new. It was oddly satisfying getting to introduce her to something new, something that was a part of my world.
Considering my sole focus for the last few years had been on leaving Northwood, I’d never really had much hometown pride. But having Alex here made it strangely easy to appreciate many of the things I’d overlooked in the past: the carnival, the way everyone knew each other, the relaxed atmosphere of a small town high school where we could have lunch on the baseball field.
What other school would let me earn a paycheck for tending the field so I could save for a car?
I thought again about Alex’s car. I noticed she didn’t always drive it to school. Some days she caught rides with Casey. It struck me as odd that the daughter of an accomplished MLB player wouldn’t be driving something fancier.
“So, what’s the deal with Old Tess?” I asked. “Are you into classic cars or something?”
Alex laughed. “Hardly. Tess is my mom’s car. She lets me drive her when she’s working at the hospital. Her shifts are long, so I use the car when she doesn’t need it.”
“You don’t have your own car?”
“Nope. My parents have this stupid rule about not buying their kids cars until we get a college scholarship.”
“Oh. So, what are you gonna get when you go to college? Like a Mercedes or something?”
She laughed. “Yeah right! My parents can’t afford that. Besides, I’m not really a Mercedes kinda girl. I thought you knew me better than that,” she said bumping me with her shoulder. “I’ll probably end up with a used pickup truck. They’re practical and it’s what my brothers got.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I guess I just assumed that your family was loaded because your dad is so famous.”
She laughed again. “He’s just a regular dad.”
“Um, false. He’s an MLB legend.”
“He was, but that was a long time ago. Fame and fortune don’t last. It’s a lesson he’s practically beat into my head.”
“What do you mean?”
“My dad was young when he got called up to the majors. In the beginning he didn’t get paid much. He always says MLB stands for Most Likely Broke.”
“Seriously?”
“He did okay toward the end of his career I guess, but when he got injured and had to retire, he didn’t have anything to fall back on. We lived on my mom’s salary for a while, which didn’t go far with five kids to support. My dad never went to college. Coaching is one of the only jobs he’s qualified to do. It’s been really hard on us as a family having to move so often. My dad always tells us he wants more for us. That’s why he puts so much pressure on me to get a scholarship and go to college.”
“Don’t you want to go to college?” Grant asked.
“Yeah, but if I got an opportunity to play ball professionally, it’d be hard to pass up.”
“So, that’s your future? Playing ball?”
Alex nodded. “I love it. I can’t imagine wanting anything else more. I mean you get it, right?”
I tore my gaze away from her alluring eyes.
Would she understand if I told her the truth?
Alex
Grant looked off into the distance as he replied. “I’m good at it, but I don’t love it. I guess that’s probably what Coach noticed when you showed up.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your heart’s in it, Alex. Mine’s not.”
“Grant, what are you talking about? You’re an incredible ball player. Just because you’re not starting—”
“This isn’t about starting. I just don’t love the sport. I never have. It’s just a way out of Northwood for me.”
I blinked at Grant, taking in the clarity of his stormy gray eyes. He looked different, like saying these things out loud had freed him. But I felt blindsided. It’s not that I thought I knew him so well that this omission caught me off guard, but if this was truly how he felt, why on earth had he tried so hard to crush my dreams over a sport he didn’t care about?
“So, you don’t want to play pro?” I asked making sure I understood him.
“No.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I don’t know. How can I? I’m not like you, Alex. I don’t have a family that supports me. I don’t get to travel all over the world with parents who do whatever it takes to give me a good life.”
“Have you been listening at all? Moving from school to school, never staying long enough to make real friends, it’s not as glamorous as you’re making it sound, Grant.”
“Maybe so, but I’ve never left this state. I’ve never seen anything of the world except my own backyard and the local baseball fields. There are a million things I haven’t experienced so how can I be expected to know what I want to do?”
“But you know you don’t want to play baseball?” I asked, angrily.
“Yes. I’m not passionate about it.”
Angry tears welled in my eyes. “You seemed pretty passionate about keeping me off the team.”
Grant furrowed his brow as he reached for my hand. The vulnerable honesty in his eyes was the only thing that kept me from storming away.
“I know, and I’m sorry, Alex. That wasn’t fair. I regret all of it. The pranks, the jabs, making you feel like an outsider. It was wrong and you d
idn’t deserve any of it. I just . . .” He let go of my hand and rubbed his handsome face, blowing out a frustrated breath. “I guess I’ve been looking out for myself for so long I don’t know any other way.”
I watched him, waiting for more. Waiting for something that would make me understand him. He was smart and handsome and charming when he wanted to be. And above all that he was a gifted ball player, but he somehow couldn’t see any of it and I didn’t understand why.
When he didn’t say anything more, I stood up, having lost my appetite. I could tell from the defeated way he hung his head he expected me to give up on him and walk away. But I wasn’t about to do that.
There was a lot I had yet to uncover about this infuriatingly handsome boy who was working his way into my heart and I knew I’d never get the answers I was looking for if I gave up.
Besides, I was a Prince and Princes didn’t quit.
“Come on,” I said, holding out my hand.
Grant looked up, confusion in his eyes.
“You promised me a food, fun and fraud.”
He looked at me, dumbstruck.
I put my other hand on my hip impatiently. “I’m still waiting for the fun part.”
“What do you want to do?” he asked timidly.
“I want to go on a ride.”
“Which one?”
“I don’t know. Take me on your favorite.”
He stared at me for a moment longer.
“Are you seriously going to leave me hanging?” I demanded shaking my extended hand at him.
He stood and took it, smirking. “No ma’am.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Grant
By the time we reached the ferris wheel my mood had lifted. I couldn’t help it. It was impossible to be in a bad mood with Alex’s hand in mine. I noticed that she held it tighter the closer we got to the ride.
“So, this is another first for you?” I asked as she tilted her head back to look at the giant neon wheel.
She swallowed hard and nodded.
I looked up too, wondering what could be making her so anxious. Couples talked and laughed as their buckets swayed gently with the motion of the ride. The ferris wheel was probably the least extreme ride at the carnival. Toddlers rode it with their parents. Alex couldn’t possibly be scared.
It’s not like I was taking her on the gravitron or the scrambler. Those rides made even the toughest guys on the team sick.
Finally, it was our turn and I helped Alex onto the bench seat, pulling the lap bar securely across us. The guy running the ride saw the way she slid closer to me and he gave me a wink. I smirked knowing it meant he’d probably give us an extra-long ride.
For once I was okay with that.
This wasn’t the first time I’d taken a girl on the ferris wheel. Last year I’d ended up trapped on the ride with Katie Bartrum. She kissed like a Saint Bernard and I couldn’t get away from her fast enough. But as I looked over at Alex and her perfect lips, I knew I wouldn’t want to take a shower after kissing her—unless it was a cold shower.
Chill, Grant!
I was getting way ahead of myself.
I’d wanted to open up to Alex tonight and hopefully tell her how I felt about her, but after the turn our conversation took at the picnic table, I thought all my fears were coming true. I’d said more than I meant to. I hated talking about my messed-up family.
I already knew I wasn’t good enough for Alex. Telling her that my mom had left, and my dad was a deadbeat wasn’t going to help. But I didn’t know how to let her in halfway. It just seemed to make a mess of everything.
I didn’t know why I couldn’t just rip off the Band-Aid.
Didn’t I want to know if she could truly like me for me?
The ride started and Alex practically jumped into my lap, pulling me from all the other thoughts in my head.
“Whoa! You all right?” I asked as we glided backwards.
“Um, I don’t think I can do this.”
“Do what?”
“This ride. I want to get off.”
“Okay. We’ll go around once and get off.”
“No. I need to get off now. I’m afraid of heights. I can’t do this.”
Alex looked so adorably frightened that I wanted to laugh, but I knew her fear was genuine as she squeezed the ever-loving crap out of my hand.
“Hey, hey, look at me,” I coaxed in a soothing voice. “Alex, look at me.” I pulled her chin in my direction and finally caught her eye. “Don’t look anywhere else. Just look at me. We’re gonna be fine.”
“You promise?”
“I promise. I do this every year. Just take a deep breath and let it out slowly.”
She did as I instructed and after a few deep breaths she looked much less frantic.
“You might have mentioned you were afraid of heights before we got on,” I added giving up on the grin I’d been fighting.
“It didn’t look that high from the ground,” she said pouting and inching closer.
I laughed and put my arm around her shoulder. “I got ya, Princess.”
“It’s not funny.”
“It’s kinda funny.”
“If I wasn’t too scared to let go of this bar, I’d hit you,” she hissed.
With my arm around her I could feel she was shivering. It was definitely cooler this high up, so I slipped off my hoodie and offered it to her.
“I don’t want to let go,” she whispered.
I resisted the urge to tell her she looked like a kitten stuck in a tree and instead stuffed the hoodie over her head. “Give me your hand,” I said, trying to pry her fingers loose from the lap bar. “I’ll hold onto you while you slip one arm through the sleeve.”
She pinned me with a terrified stare. “Promise you won’t let go.”
“I promise.”
And I meant it.
I’d rather lose an arm than let go of her when she looked at me like that—so full of trust and vulnerability.
Slowly, she took my hands and let me help her into my hoodie. When she was cocooned in its oversized shape, I pulled her toward me, nestling her under my arm again. I shivered with bliss as she buried her face into my chest, trying to block out the view. I would’ve loved nothing more than to hold her like that forever, but I’d brought her up here for a reason.
“Alex, look.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I want to show you something.”
“What?”
I took a deep breath.
Now or never, Grant.
“I want to show you who I am.”
She lifted her face and blinked her dark lashes at me. “What?”
“Look,” I said again, pointing out toward the blanket of stars that stretched as far as the eye could see. The ferris wheel had paused with our bucket perched perfectly at its peak. “This is why this ride is my favorite. From up here the possibilities feel endless. There’s a great big world out there, Alex, and I want to see it.”
I pointed to the clusters of city lights that spread out around us. “Do you see those lights?”
She nodded.
“I’ve never been beyond them. I’ve never seen anything but Northwood and its neighboring baseball fields.” I looked down at her again, desperate to make her understand. “It’s not an excuse for my behavior, but everything I do is to ensure I get a chance to go beyond those lights. But I swear, Alex. I never meant to hurt you in the process. Can you forgive me?”
She nodded slowly.
“And I shouldn’t have made assumptions about your family. I hate it when people do that about mine.”
“What do people assume about your family?” she asked.
“That because my dad is a loser, I’ll be one too.”
“I don’t think that.”
“You’re new here. Give it time.”
She met my eyes. “All the time in the world wouldn’t change my mind.”
I had to look away and swallow the lump in my throat.
&
nbsp; Why did it feel so good to hear her say that?
Her voice called me back. “Grant, I never meant to imply that you can’t do more than play baseball. I only meant that you’re really talented.”
“I know. I guess I’m just sensitive about it.”
“I get it.”
“You do?”
“Sure. It sucks being shaped by others’ opinions. People always think just because I’m a girl I can’t be an athlete or because I’m an athlete I can’t be a girl.”
“I’m starting to see you as both,” I said brushing a strand of windswept hair away from her cheek.
She looked at me with such appreciation that I couldn’t stop myself from drawing her lips toward mine.
Alex
I was completely captivated by Grant’s warm hand on my cheek, but when he began to pull me toward his perfect lips our bucket lurched forward causing me to yelp. I startled and bumped my forehead into his, both of us jumping apart at the pain. But I didn’t have much time to worry about my throbbing head. All my attention was on the ground as it swayed into view.
“This can’t be how I die,” I hissed, clamping my fingers around the lap bar and squeezing my eyes shut.
“It’s okay,” Grant said. “We’re just going down. This is the easy part.”
“I’m pretty sure people who are afraid of heights are less afraid of the climb then they are of falling,” I hissed.
He chuckled. “I have to admit; I sort of like knowing that there’s at least one thing in the world that makes Alex Prince feel vulnerable.”
“And if you tell anyone, I’ll kill you!”
“Calm down, Princess. Your fear of heights is safe with me,” he teased, prying my hands off the bar again. “Now let me distract you before you destroy our lap bar.”
“How?”
“Let’s continue our never have I ever game.”
“Now?” I squeaked.
“Why not? It’ll keep your mind occupied. Never have I ever been afraid of heights.”
I glared at him. “Not funny.”
Playing the Field Page 14