“But, what is loyalty when someone else is being hurt? Please don’t absolve me of all my guilt. I should have intervened and said something. Because I didn’t, I failed you in unbelievable ways, and you were hurt. Looking back, I wonder why I thought I had the right to play God with your life,” Rosa sighed heavily, shaking her head. “It’s just when I saw the two of you together, I realized that you much you needed one another. You were God’s gift to each other.” The woman grasped her hand in hers. “I know that you don’t want to hear this, especially now. But, it’s the truth. Sebastian loves you---”
“If he loved me so much, why did he lie and use me like that?” she asked, feeling the pain and hurt seep through her again. “He knew how I felt about him. How could he break my trust?”
Rosa firmed her lips. “Don’t we all make bad decisions and choices that we regret later on? I’m not defending him. Oh, who am I kidding? I am,” Rosa admitted, shaking her head. “It’s just that I’ve known Sebastian since he was a young boy, and I’ve seen him get in enough scrapes and trouble. More than often, his temper and impulsiveness has caused discord. But, he has a good heart. He’s a kind and decent man. If he’s devoted to you, he’ll walk through fire for you, and he doesn’t take commitment likely.” She sighed. “As I’ve told you countless times before, in these last years, Sebastian has gone through a tremendous amount of suffering, and deep down, I don’t think that he has really dealt with what happened. He’s been running ever since.”
“I know,” she sniffed, brushing the tears away with the back of her hands. “When we were at Eastwood, he did everything to keep a wall between us.”
“You are the reason that he’s stopped running. Don’t you get it, Vanessa? The deception on his part was nothing but a smokescreen, and it made it easier for him to hide from his true feelings. And those feelings were that he loved you. He still does,” Rosa said, and then murmured a fast prayer in Spanish. “Let me ask you something, and if you want to tell me to mind my business, I’m okay with that. I know that you’re overwhelmed. But, you have to be honest and truthful about your own feelings. Do you love Sebastian? Is there any chance of you forgiving him?”
“It may sound cliché, but I feel like I can’t breathe without him,” she whispered, looking away from her as more hot tears slid down her cheeks. “No matter how much I want to, I can’t stop crying at the thought of losing him forever. I love him so much that it hurts.”
Rosa squeezed her hand. “I know that you do. It’s more than obvious that you love him.” Then, she paused briefly. “Here’s a question that might be difficult for you to answer right now. But, do you believe in Sebastian’s love for you?”
“My head doesn’t want to believe it,” she said softly. “But, when I look at him, I see the truth in his eyes, even if I don’t want to. I can literally feel his regret, and I hurt because he’s hurting. But, how can I overlook the things that he’s done? I feel like I’m being pulled in two different directions with my emotions.” She let out a tormented sigh. “Oh, Rosa, I don’t know what to believe or think anymore.”
“I know. Things are certainly confusing, but time will take care of it. And I’m one who firmly believes that time heals all wounds,” Rosa said, patting her hand, and stood. “If you want to understand things more, you’ll find your answers here at Widow’s Pointe. Just talking to you, I can see that you don’t know everything.”
“Don’t tell me that there’s more to learn,” she said, not able to disguise the bitterness in her voice. “I don’t think that I can take hearing anything else.”
“There are things that are too difficult for him to even think about let alone speak of. The secrets that you find here will make things more clear about Sebastian, or rather his actions. That is if that’s what you want in the end,” Rosa said point blank. “While I’m bursting to oust these truths, I can’t. For these secrets are ones that only Sebastian can share.”
“Secrets---I’m beginning to abhor the very word,” she said, standing as well. “Can we move on to a safer topic? Where’s Meghan? I’m dying to see her.”
Rosa clasped her hands together. “She’s going to be so thrilled to see you. And bless her, she’s been through so much these last weeks with you gone, and Sebastian having been locked up in jail. You’re the very thing that she does need right now.”
“Where is she?” she asked, and the excitement built within her. “We have a lot of catching up to do. I can’t wait to get my hands on my little boogeybug.”
“It’s 10:30,” Rosa said, glancing down at her watch. “So, right now, she’s taking riding lessons from Timmons. Oh, and by the way, the closet is full with your things. We brought them over when we left Eastwood.”
“Good, not that I ever doubted that I’d have anything to wear. Sebastian has always proven to be resourceful,” she rambled, snatching some plump red grapes from the tray and shoved them into her mouth. “When I finish eating breakfast, I’m going to find her. Besides, it may do me good to get some fresh air.”
“The stables are just past the gazebo. So, it’ll be easy to find,” Rosa said, hesitating. “You haven’t asked me where Sebastian is.”
Frowning, she pursed her lips. “I’m not ready to face Sebastian. Right now, distance is what we need.”
“Even though this place is huge, you won’t be able to avoid him.”
“Well, I will as long as I can,” she said, lifting her chin stubbornly. “Maybe he’ll understand that his actions are wrong if we keep some space between us.”
“Okay, I’m not going to press things,” Rosa said, finally relenting. “Leave the tray. I’ll return and retrieve it later.”
“No, you won’t,” she murmured, hugging her tight. “There’s no need for you to take these long stairs, especially with me coming down later. I’ll bring it as soon as I come down.” Giving her a final squeeze, she released her. “You’re a Godsend. I always feel so much better after talking with you.”
Rosa offered a smile. “I’m good for something, then. Remember, if you need anything, to talk, or whatever, you know where to find me. Now, I’m going to get out of your hair so that you can get about your day.”
Already, she was heading for the walk-in closet. “Ok, I’ll catch up with you later,” she called over her shoulder, and heard as Rosa left. Pulling on the oval-shaped knobs, she opened the closet door.
Her mouth flew open in astonishment.
The clothing racks held various items from end to end, ranging from evening gowns, jeans, skirts, blouses, and such. Certainly, it was more than what she’d had back at Eastwood.
“Always overcompensating, aren’t you, Sebastian,” she mulled aloud, fingering a frilly blouse on the rack, and then sighed. “But, isn’t that just one of the many reasons why I love you?”
After sorting through more items on the rack, she settled on the cream-colored top and slim skirt before scurrying for the shower.
Several long minutes later, dressed, refreshed, and composed, she left the bedroom. But, once she was standing on the other side of its door, she paused.
The hallway stretched from end to end.
Apparently, apart from the two bedrooms, this level of the mansion also housed a sitting room, she noticed as she walked past it.
She made a quick detour to the right before taking the curving stairs, and within seconds, she’d reached the lower floor.
Like the rest of the mansion, the space was fashioned with impeccable taste, she mulled, stopping dead center of the reception hall. A formal dining room, grand salon, and study faced her. To the right of those quarters, there stood an office, kitchen, and casual dining area, she realized, appreciating the simplistic beauty as she made a speedy impromptu tour through each room. The master suite stood off to itself, and heat flamed her face. No doubt, it did belong to the master of the manor.
Naturally, every part of the level converged to form an impressionable living space. Overhead, the stained rafters and beams gave it a decidedl
y modern appeal while the chandeliers that hang in some areas ensured a classic touch. Close to the reception hall, there was also a bar laden with different brands of alcohol, she deduced, sweeping a quick glance over it before exiting through the front door.
The fresh, summer air met her as she stepped onto the porch, and once more, she marveled at the estate’s natural beauty. For it was definitely a sight to behold.
Across the way, the towering Georgian mountains seemed to wrap around the 300 acre estate. Rich, green, and well-manicured lawns heightened the already grandeur effect, and stretched for miles while housing the mansion, garden area, gazebo, barn, and stables.
While she soaked in the estate’s beauty, she worked to ignore the two buffed guards standing at both ends of the portico, the ones that Sebastian had spoken of the night before. Evidently, there were additional security members stationed at different points on the estate.
That meant that potential danger existed, she mulled, leaving the porch. But, she wasn’t about that fact to mar such a beautiful day or her mood.
She fell on the cobbled path.
When the guards didn’t follow, she breathed a sigh of relief. After spending weeks under Maurice’s watchful eye, she definitely needed space. As she ventured further, a calm spirit fell over her, and finally she relaxed altogether.
She inhaled a deep breath of air which was a subtle, pleasing mixture of Georgian pines and seasonal summer flowers. And this long jaunt was what she needed, she realized, continuing to enjoy the view.
When the mansion was far behind her, the stables fell in view. Again, this part of the estate was a marvel to behold as well. Stone-colored, structured in Spanish-villa style, the stables were a beautiful staple against the mountainous backdrop. Aside from it, a large white fence arched at different angles and points, and there were already groomsmen inside of it working diligently to exercise the horses.
As she neared, the whinnying neighs from horses and other activities increased. Some of the groomsmen noticed her approach and threw their hands up in a friendly greeting, and she waved back in return.
But, when she was a few feet away from the stables, she stopped. Meghan was still nowhere in sight, she frowned, looking around. Spying a groomsman close by, she approached him. “Excuse me,” she called out, shielding her eyes from the sun with her right hand. “I’m hoping that you can help me. I’m looking for Meghan. I understand that she’s taking riding lessons with a Mr. Timmy.”
“Timmons, you mean,” the man stated, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead, and blew a tired breath. “They went out a little further this morning, but they should be back in a bit. If you want to wait in the stable office, feel free. There’s some air conditioning in there.”
She nodded. “Thank you. I believe that I will.”
The smell of freshly cut hay and horses filled the huge stables. But, even the stables were lavish and well-structured, she realized, taking in the arched beams and perfectly squared housing spaces. As she walked down the narrow aisle, she noticed that all of the stalls were empty except for a perfectly stacked bale of hay. And somehow, she’d missed the office, she frowned, stopping when she reached the far end of the stables.
Turning, she whirled around, colliding into nothing but solid muscle. But, as the large hands grasped her waist to steady her, nothing prepared her for the fire that ignited within her.
“Good morning,” Sebastian murmured, releasing her with reluctance. A frown burrowed across his forehead. “Since the horses were out training and exercising, I certainly didn’t expect to find anyone here, especially you.”
She looked down at the ground. “And if I knew that you were here---”
“You would have what? Run the other way, pretend that I don’t even exist?”
“Actually, you’re right,” she admitted, raising her chin stubbornly. “That’s probably the first honest statement between us.” Clearing her throat uncomfortably, she tried to move around him. “I’m leaving.”
Grabbing hold of her hand, he stayed her. “Wait,” he said, releasing a frustrated breath. “Last night shouldn’t have happened. There had to be a better way for me to say things than right off the heels of my dealings with Santini.”
“There would’ve never been a right time for that,” she revealed, sucking in a breath. “Last night, today, tomorrow…it doesn’t matter. Your words would’ve yielded the same results.”
He blew a tired breath. “Vanessa, I don’t want to fight with you. We can’t continue to do this.”
“You’re right,” she agreed, jerking free, and made a few steps back, placing some distance between them. “That’s something else that we agree on.”
“You’re angry---”
“Don’t I have the right to be?” she demanded. “It’s not everyday that you find out that you’re being played for a fool!” Realizing that she was shouting, she lowered her voice, and then looked away from him. “I’m not doing this with you again. There’s nothing more for us to talk about.”
“The hell there isn’t,” he muttered, and a dangerous gleam shone in his eyes. “As a matter of fact, I have a lot more that I want to say to you.”
Finally, she dared to look at him and wished that she hadn’t.
By gads, he gave new meaning to a dangerous, roguish stable boy!
Dressed in nothing more than ripped Levi jeans, he was the epitome of sexiness. Along his head, his black hair curled from sweat. The tiny beads of moisture glistened on his broad chest, leaving a fine misty sheen on down to his taut abdomen.
And just how often had she tasted that very saltiness from his sleek skin, she mulled distractedly. Hadn’t she relished every intense second of it?
But, this wasn’t the time to admire his pure masculine perfection!
“Why am I still standing here? I’m leaving,” she stated hotly, pursing her lips in a prim line, and moved to sweep past him. But, as he blocked her path, she released a fast breath. “Sebastian--”
“We’re not done here.”
“We were done the minute that I learned that you used me!”
“So, that’s it, huh?” Sebastian demanded, stepping closer, and the raw emotions played on his face. “After everything that we’ve been through, you’re just going to walk away.”
“What?” she gasped, laying a trembling hand at her nape. “How is this suddenly my fault?”
“You accuse me of playing games. I don’t think that I’m the only one guilty of that. You and all your confessions that you’d love me no matter what----for months, you’ve been spouting words of unconditional love that’ll withstand any trouble that surmounts. Now, I’m beginning to wonder if they were just words on your part,” he said bitterly, biting back a curse. Then, no longer able to contain his frustration, he kicked over the pitchfork propped against the nearest stall wall. Whirling around, he faced her. “You asked me to put my trust and faith in you, for me to believe in what we have. The moment that I do, you just run away.”
“Run away? How can you even say that or be so selfish?” she asked passionately, walking up on him. “Don’t you dare stand there and pretend that this is my doing! Why don’t you stop passing the buck and accept the blame?”
“Trust me, sweetheart, my misdeeds are startlingly clear. Every time you look at me with those big brown eyes of yours, you’re branding me red,” he quipped tightly, raking a hand through his slick tresses. Then, a challenging gleam shone in his eyes. “Tell me, Vanessa. Your words of unconditional, undying love---were they ever true?”
Before she could control it, her desperate cry escaped. Stunned by his words, her hurtful gaze clung to his. “How can you even ask me that?”
“And how dare you question my feelings for you,” he fought back, grasping her face between his large hands. Once more, she sensed the desperation in his innocent touch. “All this time, all the days and nights that we’ve spent together, holding each other, loving each other, making love---can you honestly stand here and tel
l me that all of it was a lie? How can you say that I don’t love you or that I’m not the man that you love?”
To her shame, the tears started flowing. “Please, Sebastian, stop---”
“I can’t,” he whispered, anguished, pushing her lips apart, and her breath expelled in a rush. “I can’t stop loving you, wanting you, or needing you. Baby, I love you. Deep down, past the anger, I know that you feel the same way.” His warm breathed fanned her wet face. “All those months ago, I was afraid, and now you are. You’re just scared. But, just as you asked me, I’m asking you to place your faith in me.”
Her lips trembled. “You hurt me.”
“And that’s something that I’ll never forgive myself for,” he whispered again, silencing her words with a finger against her lips. “Six weeks. That’s all I ask.” His eyes searched hers. “In that time, I’ll move heaven and earth to prove myself to you and regain your trust.”
As his words played, she felt the desperation kick in.
The desperation to give in immediately…
At the thought, she pulled back.
“I don’t know,” she mumbled, shaking her head in confusion. “Six weeks---”
“Six weeks that’ll determine everything for us. I will court you, woo you, and yes, seduce you. Things will only go as far as you want them to,” he said huskily, tracing along the edges of her face. “But, I’ll warn you now. I don’t play fair. I fight to win.”
Once more, she couldn’t control her shiver.
A few words and she was already putty in his hands, she realized, swallowing hard.
But, she wasn’t going to give in that easily!
“When the six weeks are over, what happens then?”
She couldn’t tamper her disappointment as he stepped back.
“The choice will be yours: you either stay or walk away from me forever,” he stated with all seriousness, and then sighed heavily. “I’m going to give you some time to think about it. I don’t need or want it to be a rash decision on your part. When you’re ready, let me know your answer.”
With that, he picked up the pitchfork that he’d kicked over earlier.
The Darkest Days (Torn Apart Book 2) Page 10