by Lucy Clark
Will swallowed. ‘You look stunning, Sheenie.’
She put the flowers down for a moment and then looked at her clothes. ‘Are you sure? Because I can go and change if you don’t think this is appro—’
Will stepped forward and kissed her. ‘I do like this method of relaxing you,’ he murmured after a moment. ‘Let me put these flowers into some water for you and then we’ll take the girls down to the car,’ he said, reluctantly releasing her from his arms.
A minute later, he walked over to the cribs, where the girls were wide awake.
‘Hello, sweet Sarah,’ he crooned, and was instantly rewarded with the biggest grin Sheena had ever seen her daughter give anyone. Her daughter had good taste. Sarah waved her arms at Will, desperate to be picked up, and he didn’t disappoint her, scooping her up and pressing kisses to her cheeks.
Ellie started to grizzle, which she only did when she thought she was being left out. Sheena instantly collected her daughter and took her over to Will so he could say hello to her. Ellie rewarded him with big smiles and leaned forward, her arms outstretched. Will shifted Sarah over and accepted Ellie as Sheena handed her over.
‘They both adore you,’ she murmured with a smile.
‘The feeling’s mutual. Right, time to go.’ Will looked at her. ‘Ready?’
‘As I’ll ever be.’ She spread her arms wide and let them fall back down to her sides in a gesture of surrender.
‘Excellent. Then let us away!’
Janessa was at the car, waiting for them at the front of the hospital. Sheena and Will clipped the girls into their car seats before heading off, waving goodbye to Janessa as Will drove them from the hospital. He reached over and took her hand in his.
‘Still OK?’
‘Yes. It felt strange the other day when you took us to the gardens but this is … well, this is really giving the girls a taste of normal life.’
Will nodded. ‘It happens often to people who have prolonged stays in hospital.’ They continued to chat as he drove carefully towards his parents’ home. He turned off the main road, heading into an older suburb, the trees high, the gardens lush and green from the recent rain. They passed a little creek with a small play park next to it. Will pointed to it.
‘Before they made that area into a park, it was sort of like a mini-quarry and my brothers and I would spend a lot of time playing there, creating imaginary games of intergalactic war, often refusing to allow our sisters into the game at all. Then the girls would run and tell Mum or Dad and we’d be instructed, in the most direct way possible, to allow them to play, and of course the girls used to really mess the game up. Where we boys were content to roll around in the dirt and hide behind the rocks and shrubs for protection against the high-powered laser blasters contained in our index fingers as we tried to save the omniverse from imploding, my sisters wanted to tidy the place up and make delicious mud pies.’ He grinned widely. ‘It was all very stereotypical.’
Sheena laughed. ‘It sounds like … fun.’
‘It must have been so difficult for you, growing up alone.’ He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. The love and trust that ran between himself, his parents and his siblings was incredibly strong and while, over the years, he might not have been able to see them as much as he would have liked, the bond was still there and as strong as ever. He knew his mother would instantly warm to Sheena but would Sheena allow herself to accept such open love? From the little she’d told him about her parents and the lack of affection they’d shown their only daughter, he hoped she really was able to leave it behind her and move forward.
‘I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you but of one thing I am absolutely sure, and that’s that your daughters will have a fantastic time growing up with you as their mother. They’ll laugh and argue and learn how to deal with the world, and you’ll be able to enjoy it all with them.’
Sheena felt a tightening in her chest at his words. ‘I hope so. It’s what I’ve always wanted from the moment I first discovered I was pregnant.’
‘My mother always said that being a parent gives you the chance to enjoy a second childhood,’ Will continued, ‘and you get to do it with all the knowledge of an adult so you don’t make silly mistakes like thinking you can ride your bike off a ramp constructed with some bricks and a plank of wood, and do a loop in the air and land perfectly on two wheels.’
Sheena pushed aside her internal panic and smiled at him. ‘You didn’t?’
‘Oh, I did, and had a cast on my arm for eight weeks to prove it.’
‘I’m starting to be thankful I had girls, not boys.’
‘Oh, don’t let gender fool you. Sarah has enough fight in her to give you a run for your money and Ellie …’ He glanced at the girls, who he could see in the rear-view mirror. ‘Well, the quiet ones are usually the most stubborn.’
She nodded in agreement. ‘You know them so well, Will. I have no idea how I’m going to cope with one girl who’s stubborn and one who’s a fighter.’ He brought the car to a halt outside a charming yet nostalgic brick-veneer home as Sheena once more battled her own insecurities. It didn’t appear that she would be able to suppress them, especially when today she would be surrounded by all the reminders of everything she’d missed growing up—a loving family. What Will had said was true. She did have the opportunity to have a second childhood, to leave her own upbringing behind and start afresh. Still doubt niggled. ‘How am I ever going to cope alone?’
Will switched off the engine and turned to face her. ‘You won’t be alone, Sheenie.’
It wasn’t until he urged her closer that she realised she’d spoken her concern out loud. Will leaned towards her, capturing her lips with his. Sheena’s eyelids fluttered closed as she sighed into the kiss, drawing hope and strength and a yearning desire to always have this man in her life, to have him beside her as the father of her children as they lived together for the rest of their lives. Was it possible to believe in such a fairy-tale? Throughout her entire life she’d wanted the fairy-tale, the happily-ever-after ending.
Now here she was, outside the home of Will’s parents, with Will close to her, kissing her, making her feel cherished, wanted, needed, loved. She kissed him back with all the love in her heart, wanting him to know that she’d never stopped loving him, that hurting him all those years ago had been the worst moment in her life and that she really wanted nothing else than for the two of them to make a ‘proper’ family with her girls. It was the fairy-tale … but she knew of old that fairy-tales never came true.
‘Sheena,’ he whispered against her mouth, their breathing slightly erratic. ‘I can’t stop thinking about you, wanting you, needing you and—’
‘There you two are.’ The joyful female tones cut through the air and Will broke off from what he’d been saying and slowly pulled back, obviously not caring whether his mother had seen them kissing or not. He let go of her hand before climbing quickly from the car to come around to her side and open the door for her.
As Sheena stepped out, his mother came to their side and openly embraced her son. Will hugged his mother back, not at all embarrassed by the display of emotion. Sheena felt a lump rise in her throat at the sight. Will was a grown man but the love and respect he had for his mother was clearly evident. She opened the back door, only to discover that both the girls had enjoyed their first car ride so much that they’d drifted off to sleep.
‘They’re asleep,’ she announced with a hint of incredulity in her tone. ‘I mean, I’d heard of parents driving their children around in the car in order to get them to go to sleep but I didn’t think that it actually worked.’
Will’s mother chuckled and stepped forward, peering around Sheena to see into the back seat of the car. ‘It’s very true, my dear. I remember driving around these very streets with a car full of children, desperate for them to go to sleep so I could at least have some peace and quiet, especially if Stephen was working late. Oh, aren’t they adorable? So precious,’ she remarked
of the twins before turning to face Sheena. She opened her arms wide and wrapped them around Sheena in much the same way that she’d hugged her son. ‘And I’m very happy to meet you, too, Sheena.’
In the next instant Sheena found herself enveloped in the warmest, sweetest maternal hug she’d ever experienced. She closed her eyes, wanting to savour every second, the fairy-tale dreams she’d had back in school coming back to life in that one moment. This woman didn’t know her at all, yet Sheena felt complete acceptance. Was this how her baby girls felt when she cuddled them? All warm and secure and loved? How wonderful!
‘I’m Mary,’ Will’s mother said as she released Sheena. ‘And you are very, very welcome. Now, let me help you get these adorable creatures out so you can come inside. I’ve already put the kettle on.’
Unsure whether the girls would wake up or stay asleep but knowing she couldn’t leave them in the car, Sheena and Will unpacked the pram from the back of the car and then carefully transferred the girls from the car seats to the pram. Thankfully, Sarah stayed asleep but the instant they moved her, Ellie woke up, smiling brightly up at Will.
‘Oh, look at the gorgeous smiles on this one,’ Mary cooed, and was more than happy to carry the baby bag into the house while Will and Sheena manoeuvred the pram through the door.
‘Are you all right?’ Will whispered near Sheena’s ear once they were inside.
‘I’m fine. Why?’
He smiled down into her face. ‘You looked a little dazed when my mother hugged you. I probably should have warned you that she’s a very demonstrative person.’
Sheena quickly shook her head. ‘Oh, I’m not worried about that. I think it’s marvellous.’ With happiness sparkling in her eyes, she shrugged one shoulder, feeling a little self-conscious. ‘It’s just that … well … I’ve never been hugged by anyone’s mother before. Not even my own. It was amazing.’
Will stared at her as he comprehended her words. ‘You really have no concept of what a family is like, do you?’
‘I used to watch Janessa and her father interact, amazed at the way they talked so openly and freely with each other. She took his death pretty hard but with her help I’ve learned that pulling a family together from people around you can also give you what you need, even if the people aren’t blood relatives.’
‘And that’s your grounding in family life?’ He wasn’t being critical, he was simply astounded.
‘I guess so.’
‘Then allow me to show you a different sort of family life. The sort of family life you deserve to have with your girls.’
As they stepped into the front entryway of the house, a loud squeal came from the hallway. A second later a toddler ran past them, quickly followed by a boy of about three. A woman laughed somewhere in the house and a deep masculine voice asked when it was going to be time for a coffee break. Sarah slept on while Ellie looked eagerly around at this new scenery.
The walls of the house were decorated with many different photographs, some in black and white, some in colour and all of them framed with mix-and-match frames. There were vases of flowers on most of the tables and an upright piano in the corner. There were paintings, knick-knacks and lace doilies around the place. So incredibly different from the spacious, impersonal mansion where her parents lived. There had been no personal photographs on the walls there, only expensive artwork. Her mother had only worn the latest in couture whilst Mary wore a comfortable cotton dress with little rosebuds all over it, which definitely matched her sunny disposition.
Will wheeled the pram through to the kitchen, which Sheena soon discovered was the main hub of the house as it contained an enormous wooden family table and ten chairs. A woman was sitting on a stool at the kitchen bench; Mary was calling to her husband, who was busy hammering in the backyard, and children were running everywhere. The smell of a freshly brewed pot of coffee filled the air, along with chocolate-chip cookies, which were cooling on a rack.
As Will rushed forward to greet the woman who she quickly realised was not only one of his sisters but also six months pregnant, Sheena clutched her hands to her chest and nodded. This was right. This was what it should be like. All noise and laughter and smiles and talking, everyone mingling with each other but still somehow understanding what was going on. This was family … a real family.
Ellie wriggled, eager to be free from the pram, and Sheena instantly unclipped her from the safety harness. Mary was the first to hold out her hands, eager for a cuddle with the baby. Will instructed his mother on the best way to hold her and how to be careful of the bandaging that was still in place beneath Ellie’s pretty cotton dress.
Ten minutes later Sarah awoke on her usual default setting of crying loudly for attention. Thankfully for her, she had plenty of people there just waiting to give it. Stephen begged for a cuddle and, just as she did with Will, Sarah settled almost instantly.
‘She likes the men,’ Sheena whispered to Will, then frowned humorously. ‘That might be a worry one day.’
He chuckled and slipped his arm about her shoulders. ‘We’ll cope.’
We’ll cope? She tried to remain cool, calm and collected at his words, aware that he might not have even realised he’d said ‘we’. However, it did make her wonder that even if Will was really serious about their burgeoning relationship, was she really ready to move forward?
She wanted Will in her life, almost to the point of desperation, but was she really any good for him? She’d loved him so much all those years ago that she’d had to let him go. She’d known he’d wanted a family and that she hadn’t been able to give it to him.
Well, now she could give him a family but what if he wanted more children? His sister was pregnant with her fourth child and from the photographs around the house it was clear that his other siblings also had gone forth and multiplied.
There was absolutely no guarantee that she’d ever be able to conceive again. Her doctors had told her that her pregnancy with Ellie and Sarah had been a miracle. Even they weren’t quite sure how it had happened. It gave her hope. Hope that one day she’d be able to have Will’s baby.
Will deserved to have a whole gaggle of children. He deserved to live in a house like this, one filled with photographs and toys and miscellaneous paraphernalia. He deserved this life … and she simply didn’t know if she was capable of giving it to him.
CHAPTER TEN
LUNCH with his parents and his sister Anna was such a laid-back, relaxed affair that instead of feeling highly self-conscious, Sheena found herself laughing along with the others. Compared to the stiff dinner parties she’d occasionally been allowed to attend with her parents, the Beckman clan carried on as though they were from another planet. Or perhaps it was her upbringing that had been out of this world? What she was experiencing with them was normal and it was the type of upbringing she was determined to give her girls.
Throughout the morning she’d talked with Will’s sister, asking about Jesse, who was running about the place, and little Lester, who had only been walking for the past three months. She’d watched Mary give Ellie a bottle and had been astounded when Stephen had offered to change Sarah’s nappy.
‘Along with Mary, I’ve raised five of my own and I wasn’t one of those old-fashioned fathers who stepped back and let the wife do everything. No, siree. I was in there, changing nappies, bathing babies, cleaning up messes and fixing toys.’
‘A hands-on dad,’ Sheena had said with a laugh as she’d accepted Sarah so she could feed her. Ellie had been almost done with the bottle and Mary had cradled her carefully, humming a sweet song. Ellie’s eyes had closed, content that everything was perfectly fine in her little world.
‘Have you had enough milk for both of them?’ Anna asked now as she collected Lester and held him on her side, careful to avoid her baby bump.
‘I have. I’ve been very fortunate in that area.’
‘That’s good. With this one.’ she inclined her head towards Lester ‘… my milk dried up within a month. Then a
gain, he was a whopping ten pounds, seven ounces when he was born and he was a week early!’
‘A healthy baby indeed,’ Sheena remarked as Anna yawned.
‘I think I’ll go have a lie-down and get the boys to have a rest. If I’m not up when you leave, may I just say that it was lovely meeting you and your girls, Sheena.’
‘Thanks. It was wonderful to meet you, too,’ she said, smiling brightly.
‘Would you mind if we popped into the hospital to visit? I’d love you to meet my husband and my eldest boy. He’ll be sorry he missed meeting you all.’
‘Of course. I’d be delighted.’
Anna nodded and headed off just as Will brought Sheena a cup of tea. He set it down on the table before sitting next to her, putting his arm about her shoulders as she continued to feed Sarah.
‘Ellie’s sound asleep,’ he said, glancing over to where his mother was reclined in her chair, Ellie asleep with her head on Mary’s shoulder. ‘And Dad’s eager to have another hold of Sarah once you’ve finished feeding her.’
Stephen had gone off to help Anna settle her two boys but had already promised to return for another cuddle with Sarah. ‘They really love children, don’t they?’ she said.
‘Absolutely. They’re very involved with their grandchildren and helping out my siblings whenever they need them.’
Sheena turned to look at him. ‘They’re amazing people, Will. You’re so blessed to have them.’
‘We could be blessed together, Sheena. The four of us. You, me, Ellie and Sarah.’
Sheena swallowed over the lump in her throat. ‘A family?’
‘Yes.’
‘But, Will … what if I can’t have any more children? You deserve to have more, to be a hands-on dad just like your own father and be involved in your children’s lives. I can’t give you that prom—’