by Renea Porter
“A soda is fine.”
In between the kitchen and the living room is a hallway that leads to the bathroom and several rooms along the way. He leads the way and we stop in one of the bedrooms. “This is my room. You can stay in here and I’ll sleep in Layne’s room,” he tells me.
“Are you sure this is okay?” I ask as he sets my bag down.
“I insist. You should get some rest; it’s been a long day,” he says just before turning away.
“Goodnight,” I tell him.
“Night.” He turns to walk down the hall.
I close the door and secure it shut. I look around and familiarize myself with my surroundings. Cole has a long dresser along the wall, and a small TV on top of it. He has a night stand on each side of the bed and I notice his spacious closet. So I hang some of my clothes in there, hoping he won’t mind. I sit on the edge of the bed and sigh. It’s been one of the best days of my life and then I came home to a nightmare. Trying to forget the bad part, I gather my pajamas and head toward the bathroom to shower. I lightly knock on the door and no one answers so I walk in.
“Oh my god!” I see Cole wrapping a towel around his waist. I cover my eyes and turn around. “I knocked and you didn’t answer,” I say, facing the door as I hear him chuckle. How embarrassing. Kill me now.
“I couldn’t hear; you need to knock louder next time,” he torments me.
“There won’t be a next time,” I say as he walks around me with the towel secured around his dripping wet body.
“It’s all yours,” he says just as he leaves the room.
I lean my butt against the sink and cover my face in embarrassment. My face is probably beet red and I don’t even want to see it in the mirror. I go ahead and strip down; at least I don’t have to wait for hot water. I can’t believe I was so close to seeing Cole naked. This is so not how my love life should be starting out, if you can even call it that. I let the hot water erase the day away. I try to just think about my day with Cole, and the way he took charge at my apartment and the amazing kiss that still lingers on my lips.
Once I’m out of the shower, I throw on my pajamas and peek out the door to make sure the coast is clear. I quietly make it back to the room and I notice there are fresh sheets on the bed and a note on the pillow. Did I really take that long of a shower?
I put fresh sheets on the bed. Please feel free to make yourself at home here. I can’t say I’m upset to have you close to me, for as long as it takes. You are safe here. Try to get some sleep. Cole.
I think my heart melted into a puddle right there. I put the note in my handbag, so I can keep it. I slide into his bed, and pull the clean sheets over me. They even smell fresh. Slowly, I begin to drift off into sleep.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The brightness of the sun beaming into the crack of the open curtain wakes me up. I look at my surroundings and realize I’m in Cole’s bed. And then the previous day’s events run through my head like a reel to a home movie. Then I remember why I’m here in the first place. I turn my head the opposite direction of the sun and see the clock reads 11 a.m. I manage to climb out of the comfy bed and pull on a pair of shorts and a tank top and I pull my hair back into a ponytail. I make my way to the kitchen and find Cole cooking.
“Well, isn’t this a sight?” I say, joking, trying to break the ice.
“Hey there. I hope you like bacon, lettuce and tomatoes. Because I’m making us BLTs.” He smiles.
“Yum.” I sit on the stool against the island and watch him. This is such an unfamiliar territory for me and I have no idea what I should do or how to act.
Chapter Four
COLE PUTS THE PLATE in front of me and joins me by sitting on the stool next to me. “Mmm, this is really good,” I say, covering my mouth full of food.
“Thank you. Did you sleep well last night?”
“I did. Thanks for everything yesterday. I mean it.”
“It was a good day, aside from what you came home to. I’m glad I was there,” he says, finishing his BLT.
“I honestly don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there. You kept me from rocking myself in a corner,” I tell him. “But I should probably have you take me to go get my car, so I can get to work and the support group I go to once a week.”
“Sure, I can take you. Since it’s Sunday and there’s really nothing else to do, would you want to go fishing?”
“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ve never fished before, but sounds fun,” I tell him. My phone buzzes against the counter. I slide it open and see Renee’s smiling face.
I slide the sliding glass doors open and step out back onto the porch, sitting on the step. “Hey gorgeous,” I say into the video.
“So, how are things going? Is that….are you?” she asks without finishing the sentence.
“Yes, I don’t want to alarm you or anything but when I got back from my second date with Cole the apartment was completely trashed. But thank god Cole was there.”
“Oh my god, are you okay? That is so horrible,” she says.
“Yes. So I’m staying here,” I say, motioning with my hand.
She smirks. “I’m surprised Cole convinced you.”
“It didn’t take much convincing,” I whisper.
“It was either go willingly or I would have carried her out,” Cole barges into the conversation.
Renee and I both laugh. “Yeah, there was that,” I tell her, laughing.
“I know you are in good hands. Just be safe and let me know if anything changes. I miss you,” she says.
“I miss you, too. Give Layne a kiss for me.” I wink at her.
“I’ll call you soon,” she says.
I shut my phone off and head back inside, finding Cole putting the dishes in the dishwasher. “It didn’t take much convincing, eh?” he jokes.
“Very funny,” I say. “Are we going fishing or what?” I lean against the counter.
“Better watch it, little one; that mouth of yours might get you into trouble,” he says, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
“And you’re the big bad wolf?” I say sarcastically.
“Alright, move your ass,” he says, adding his wicked smirk. He grabs two fishing poles and a tackle box.
I grab my purse and throw my phone inside, and put on my sandals as we head out the door. He helps assist me into the truck by opening the door and shutting it once I’m in. He puts the poles and box in the back of the truck. At least he is fun to bicker with and he makes me laugh.
“We’ll just get your car on the way back. Is that okay?”
“Yeah that’s fine,” I tell him.
He winks at me and starts the truck and we are on our way to the lake. Today might be a good day as any to tell him my truth, and the painful past I live with on a daily basis. For now, I enjoy the ride and the scenery that passes by. Butterflies dance in my stomach as Cole parks near the lake. I jump out of the truck as Cole grabs the stuff from the back.
“Are you going to be racing anytime soon? I haven’t seen you race for a while,” I tell him.
“All the racers are on a break, so it could be a few weeks. I hope you will be on the sidelines when I do get to, though,” he says.
“Of course. That’s one thing I looked forward to with Renee, and it was always fun,” I tell him.
“Well, you’ll be the first to know when we start back up again.” He smirks. He pulls out a worm and puts one on each of the fishing poles.
“Eww,” I say.
“You’re such a girl,” he says, handing me a pole. I follow his lead and throw the line into the water. Then I do it a few more times with no luck.
He hooks a fish and takes it off the line, and throws it in the cooler he brought. “May I?” He points to the pole I’m holding.
The thought of Cole positioning himself behind me freaks me the hell out. “Okay,” I unwillingly agree. My brain is definitely mush around him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
COLE
Does Alexis know
how bad I’ve wanted to touch her, to feel her milky smooth skin? Granted this wasn’t a ploy to grope her. I would never disrespect her in any way, but it’s just such a temptation.
I position myself behind her. “Just relax; it’s only me,” I whisper in her ear, almost brushing my lips against it. Her breath hitches.
I overlap her arms with mine and put my hands over hers, and snap the pole back and fling it back into the water. She giggles, surprisingly.
“Shh, you’ll scare the fish,” I whisper to her.
I feel her trying not to laugh as her body trembles. And I have no idea what is so damn funny. But at least she is not completely freaking out with me being on her like this. Or maybe this is her way of freaking out. I don’t know, but she smells so damn good, like fresh berries sweet, sugary and irresistible. God, she is going to be the death of me.
I pull and snap the line back again and fling it back into the water. Finally a fish hooks and we reel it in. I unhook the fish from the pole and step back, giving her space, and I place the fish in the cooler. “We have dinner for tonight; I know you said you weren’t big on seafood, which means you don’t find it totally disgusting. And once you’ve had my fish, it will be melting in your mouth,” I tell her.
“I guess I’ll have to be the judge of that.” She grins.
“You are on a roll today, aren’t you?”
She shrugs, smiling. “I guess I’m just in an usual mood.”
“I like it. And you surprise me sometimes,” I tell her. “Wanna sit for a little bit?” I ask.
“Sure.”
She kicks off her sandals and we dangle our legs over the pier.
“I just want you to know, and I know I keep telling you, but you can trust me. With anything. No matter what.”
“With anything?” she asks.
“Anything,” I assure her.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Alexis
As weird as it sounds, Cole’s touch felt nice. I knew I was safe, I knew Cole would never disrespect me in any way, shape, or form. He is good and nice to look at. I had to giggle when he had his arms around me because I was uncomfortable, but I wanted to be brave and see what it felt like to have his arms around me. I was quite proud of myself for not freaking the hell out.
“Well, I guess now is as good of a time as any to tell you about my past,” I tell him, taking a deep breath.
“You can trust me with anything,” he says. We both grip the edge of the pier and our hands are so close together, but not touching.
“I was sexually abused as a child. He was a monster, and lived next door from us. And my parents trusted him,” I say, waiting on a response from Cole.
“What happened? Did you tell your parents what happened?”
“No, he threatened to kill everyone I loved if I told. So I never told and it went on for years. I started throwing up every time he touched me and every time after I ate. My life was out of control and throwing up was the only control I had. I would wear baggy clothes, and I would always keep to myself. I hated the smirk he would make when he made me do things against my will. Just thinking about it makes my skin crawl.” I shudder.
“It makes me sick to my stomach knowing someone is so capable of doing such a horrific thing, especially to you. I get it now. And I understand one-hundred percent why you are so hesitant to trust and let someone in your life. Gosh, that is just so fucked up,” he says, looking off into the distance.
“I know. All I ask is please try to be patient with me. I’m making progress with my eating habits, and Renee has been a huge influence on me and I think it’s why she and I connected so well. She gets it. With time, I think I can get better,” I tell him, not knowing if I’m trying to convince him or myself.
“I can wait as long as it takes. I’m in no hurry to rush into anything. I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me. I wish I would have killed him when I had the chance. I would. I would kill him with my bare hands,” he says as the anger rolls off him.
“I’m trying to get past it, day by day. Some days are worse than others, but the better days make living worth it. And Cole, I really wouldn’t know what to do without you in my life. I value the friendship we have, and I only hope you can just be patient with me,” I tell him, straight from my heart.
My heart takes over and I have no control what comes out of my mouth until it’s too late. I know my feelings could grow for Cole and not every guy would wait around. I got lucky with him, I guess.
“What’s your story?” I ask, pulling on his baseball cap and trying to lighten the mood.
“I told you before. I’m an only child; my parents own a diner, and I worked there as a bus boy and my cousin, Chase, worked there every summer.”
“I know all that. But how come some girl hasn’t snatched you up yet?” I ask boldly.
“I’ve just been waiting on the right one to come along, I guess.” He shrugs. “Well, are you ready to go? We should get your car and get the fish going for dinner.”
“Yep.” I stand and slide my sandals back on while Cole gathers both poles and the tackle box. “I’ll carry the cooler; it only has two fish in there,” I tell him, picking it up.
We put everything in the back of the truck and I insist on helping myself into the truck this time. He doesn’t always have to be so gentlemanly.
“Cole, just as you told me to trust you, I do. And I only ask that you be yourself. Don’t try to impress me; just be you. I like you.”
“Well, if I want to open the door for you, that is just the way I was raised. I was raised that you treat women with respect and you will just have to get over it. If I want to open the door for you, I will.”
“Okay,” I tell him.
Chapter Five
WE ARRIVE AT MY APARTMENT and I decide to check the mail and throw it in my passenger seat as I follow Cole back to his place. Once we arrive at his place, I follow him inside and to the kitchen as I open my mail.
“Now, how about we cook some fish, Lexi? Can I call you Lexi?”
“You can; my parents call me that. And I’m game as long as I don’t have to skin it or anything,” I shiver at the thought.
“Okay, how about I pour some wine and you can just keep me company?” he says, laughing at my comment.
“That sounds a lot better. I’ll just watch you work your magic from here.” I sit on the stool along the kitchen island. He grabs a remote and plays some music softly, and pours us both a glass of Moscato wine. “Mmm, that is good,” I say after sipping on the wine.
A song called Stay by Rihanna is on and I hum to the words. The words seem so fitting for Cole and me.
I watch as Cole moves around the kitchen, and he goes straight to work on the fish, skinning it and deboning it. He points with a knife. “You’ll like it; I promise.”
“Are you close with your parents?”
“I am. My parents are real chill; they would like you. Maybe one day you can meet them. Since I didn’t have any siblings, my cousin Chase and I are pretty close. But Chase dresses more richly than I do. His parents are kind of stuffy, too. It’s hard to even believe we are related. His dad and my dad are brothers.”
“It’s good you have each other, and I know you only transferred here to be closer if he needed you,” I tell him, taking another sip of my wine. “You must get your cooking skills from working in your Dad’s diner.”
“I do. And maybe if you’re good, I’ll be cooking some more around here.”
“Ha, ha,” I mock. I continue to watch Cole cook and plate the food and places the plates in front of us. I dig my fork into the fish and plop it in my mouth. “This. Is. So. Good,” I tell him in between chewing the fish.
“See, I told you. You need to listen to me more often,” he says, smiling at me.
“Fish this good hell, I might work up the courage to hug you later.” I laugh at such a silly comment, and he must think I’m some crazy child. I laugh nervously.
“You can hug me anytime you like.” He winks.
I swear he is going to grab onto my heart and never let go of it, and there won’t be a damn thing I can do about it, because it will be too late when I realize it. “In all seriousness, I really appreciate everything you have and are doing for me. It means more than I could even say,” I tell him.
“I always here for you, Lexi. And stop thanking me. We’re friends right now. I hope we become something more, but only when you are ready and if you even feel the same way about me as I do you.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I barely feel his touch.
“I do. And I hope we become something more than just friends. It just might take me longer to come around than most girls.”
“I know, and it’s okay. Are you done?” he asks about the food. I nearly cleared my whole plate.
“Yes, thank you; it was delicious,” I tell him, as I help load the dishes in the dishwasher. Once it’s loaded, he flips the switch to turn it on. “I should probably grab a shower and get to bed, so I can do a few things in the morning.
“Didn’t you say something about a hug a little bit ago?” He cocks his head to the side, and shows off his wicked smile, as he holds his arms out.
“That might have been the wine talking. I’m just kidding.” I lean into his arms and let him wrap them around me. And I don’t feel totally grossed out by it. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. I can feel his chin resting on my head and I take this rare moment in and burn it into my brain. I’m the first one to break the embrace.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“It was nice,” I say, flashing him a smile as I walk to my room.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I wake to the blaring sound of my alarm. I blink my eyes a few times to adjust to the light beaming in the room. I groan loudly as I swing my legs over the side of the bed. Running my fingers through my hair, I move toward the dresser to change into a pair of capris and a tank top, and I slide my feet into flat sandals.
I pass Cole’s room and his door is still shut, so I make my way to the coffee pot for my caffeine fix. Thank goodness Cole set the coffee up and it’s already done. I quickly fill up a mug and grab my keys and head out the door. I desperately need advice from my counselor and how I can overcome my fear of being touched, although I have made a slight improvement with Cole. I make my way to campus and find my counselor’s room, and I knock before entering.