Terra could easily relate to Macy’s apprehension about dating after a year of keeping to herself. It was good to see her stepping out and giving romance a wary chance. Macy had a lot to offer the right man.
In the doorway, Macy stopped and turned. “It seems to me we could rearrange next week’s schedule so you could do the resort job then.”
“That would effectively put me out of town for the next three weeks,” Terra reasoned.
“You don’t trust me to hold down the fort here that long?”
“Macy, that is the farthest thing from my mind. You’re as essential to this business as I am.”
Macy’s dubious expression didn’t change, so Terra decided to give her material proof. “Don’t ask why, but please go to my computer and print out filename Assist from the Admin directory.”
Looking perplexed, Macy put down the umbrella and went into the other office. Terra sat down in Macy’s chair and thought back over the conversation with Columbia. If Columbia only knew what turmoil her call was causing.
The trouble was that Josh’s father had been Rafe Jermain, a son of the family that owned part of the island, including Bride’s Bay Resort.
On Jermain’s Island off the coast of South Carolina, Rafe had grown to manhood. Terra often, unwillingly, pictured him as a young man on the island Columbia and Lalie had described. Time and again, she had visualized Rafe at the helm of a sleek, swift sloop, sailing the coastal waters, his blue eyes fixed on a distant horizon, his dark hair tousled by the wind.
Rafe’s eyes…the same clear, deep blue as Josh’s. The cleft in his chin…the same as Josh’s. The same, the same…
Terra closed her eyes and sighed. Maybe she’d never get over Rafe, never shake off her conflicts about him. While half of her heart despised him, the other half clung to her intimate, erotic memories of him. He’d been her first lover, unforgettable for that alone.
A superb lover, she remembered, sensitive and passionate and romantic. She would never forget how special he had made her feel, how supremely desirable. Even now, despite her churning conflicts, the vivid memory of making love with Rafe was an unstoppable turn-on. Remembering was all it took to arouse her deepest desires and make her yearn to experience again the intense emotional and sexual pleasure he had given her.
It was impossible to forget Rafe’s hot lips roving slowly over her body, his wet tongue stroking her nipples, his fingers sliding into the heat between her thighs. Gently, so gently, he had received the gift of her virginity and made that first time almost painless, perfectly wonderful. From midnight to dawn, she’d lost her head and reveled in passion with a perfect stranger….
Macy’s return to the front office prompted Terra back to reality. She opened her eyes as Macy said, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Kidding? Why?”
“It’s a promotion offer.”
“I know. I was saving it for your salary review next month. What do you think?”
Macy blanched. “About being your assistant?”
“You’re ready to take a step up, Macy. Colonial Pot Roast is all the proof you need.”
Macy backed away a step. “Wait a minute, wait a minute. I’m your secretary, not your—I mean, I’m not anywhere near ready to—”
“I know what you mean, and it’s time you stop selling yourself short. You’ve learned a lot about this business in the past year.”
“But, Terra, I’ve never gone to college, barely got through high school. You’ve got a degree, plus you worked here with your aunt all through school.”
“I had advantages you’ve never had,” Terra reminded her. “Parents and a stable home life, for instance, instead of a cot in an orphanage. And Aunt Claire left me a well-established, successful business.”
“Which you’ve kept successful,” Macy put in.
“Not without your help, Macy. You’ve overcome a lot of adversity and I feel you can go far with your quick mind and willingness to work hard.”
“Terra, you just don’t—”
“Furthermore, I know of a night-school scholarship that can be arranged for a promising candidate who shows talent and creativity.”
Macy fell silent, looking wildly uncertain.
Terra turned Macy’s own words on her. “Don’t turn it down. Go for it. If you dare.”
“What if I screw up?” Macy gulped. “What if I get it all wrong? What if I come up short?”
“You’ll never know if you don’t give it a go,” Terra challenged. “This is your chance.”
“Oh, brother, Terra. You’re letting the Libra in you champion the underdog in me too much this time.”
“I know you can do it.”
“Well, I know you can do Bride’s Bay. Why turn it down?”
“That’s different.”
“No, it’s to die for, businesswise and funwise.”
Terra shooed her through the door. “Quit nagging.”
“Cheerleading,” Macy corrected.
“Whatever, have fun tonight.”
Macy looked doubly doubtful. “I’ll try.”
“Think over the offer this weekend,” Terra said. “See you on Monday.”
Macy gave a nervous wave, tucked the printout into her handbag and left. Terra locked the door and sat down in the silent office, wishing that she hadn’t been such a starry-eyed romantic five years ago.
She had only herself to blame for the night of passion she shared with Rafe Jermain on his sailboat in Charleston Harbor. It had been a night out of time, a few hours in which she’d gotten carried away and ended up pregnant. There was no excuse for the costly mistake she had made with a handsome, fascinating stranger in the night. A man whose name she hadn’t known while she was with him.
She would never have known his true identity if he hadn’t become the biggest news of the decade soon after that night. And if Rafe had been a nobody instead of a Jermain, he would never have been headline news. He wouldn’t have become nationally known, infamous for betraying his country.
Her sweet, innocent Joshua—fathered by a traitor.
Never would Terra disgrace her son by revealing his father’s identity. Nor would she humiliate her own parents, both retired army chaplains, with the revelation of their grandson’s paternity. Her personal humiliation was all there would be, known only to her.
Rafe Jermain, missing and long-presumed drowned at sea, was her unspeakable shame and the shame of the patriotic Jermain family, as well. Terra felt for them with all her heart, aware of the pain it would cause them to know that Rafe had fathered a child on his last night in home port.
She wasn’t acquainted with his family, although Columbia and Lalie were, but she knew the Jermains would never get over the scandal any more than she herself would. It gave her some comfort to know she wasn’t alone in being ashamed of Rafe; there was no solace in bearing her burden all alone. The Jermains had one another. She had no one but herself.
Over the years, Terra avoided self-pity by keeping her mind focused on her son and her career—one day at a time. Now, though, her thoughts rushed back to the past and then raced forward to a possible future in which she and Josh would go to Jermain’s Island and become acquainted with Josh’s other family.
Just to meet them would be…
Terra halted the thought. To meet them would be pointless, she told herself. There wasn’t any sense init, or in becoming acquainted, except to…
No. Her own natural curiosity about the Jermain family was reason enough to decline Columbia’s request. Nothing would be accomplished by going to Rafe’s home. At the very least, it would be unwise. Upsetting. Painful.
She already had heartache for a lifetime, and then some.
She couldn’t take on the job, no matter how good a client Columbia was or how friendly they’d been over the years. No matter how curious she’d always been about Josh’s other family, she must resist the temptation to find out any more than she already knew.
Let the past alone, she warned herself
. No matter what, she couldn’t go to Bride’s Bay!
2
TERRA SENT A REPLY fax to Josh, then locked up the office. Out on Market Street, she boarded a city bus that would take her to the modest Presidio neighborhood where her parents lived.
Once a U.S. army base where they had been stationed, the Presidio was now a recreational area. To Terra, the former base would always be where she had grown up, the only child of two army chaplains, Andrew and Hillary Camden.
Both were retired from the military now—her mother for the past few years, her father for the past few weeks. He had plans to start up a small, in-home, mail-order business to supplement their army pensions.
Terra gazed out of the bus window, wishing she’d been able to spare her parents the disappointment and heartache they’d felt when she became pregnant in the spring of her junior year at SFSU.
Shocked, yet supportive, they’d sustained her decision to keep and raise her child. At first, though, there were the inevitable questions: “How did this happen? Why? Were you forced? Who is the father?”
She would only tell them, “It was consensual. A terrible mistake. I’m responsible for the consequences. But please, don’t ever think that you failed me. I failed myself and the values you taught me.”
“People will be curious, Terra.”
“Tell them I’m doing what’s right for me and leave it at that.”
“Very well, but…shouldn’t the father know about this, whoever he is?”
“No. He wouldn’t care, anyway.”
Troubled and grieved by her situation, but determined to stand by her decision, they asked no further questions and kindly discouraged inquiries from curious friends and co-workers.
Several months later, Terra’s child was born to their complete and total acceptance. Now, her family couldn’t imagine life without Joshua Andrew Camden.
Joshua Andrew Jermain, an inner voice corrected her. It was a voice that wouldn’t be silenced, wouldn’t allow her to forget that Jermain blood ran in Joshua as surely as her own did.
“Last stop. End of the line.” The bus driver’s announcement brought her to her feet. Terra stepped out and walked two short blocks to her parents’ house. Her apartment was conveniently nearby, a few blocks away, in the opposite direction.
Someday, she hoped to buy a house. Someday, after she’d saved up for Joshua’s college education.
“Mommy!” He came running out of the front door before she reached the front step.
Terra scooped him up and hugged him tightly. Her father stood in the doorway, a lanky man whose kind, honest face inspired trust and respect. Her mom, nearly the same height as Andrew, was behind him, her slender arms circled around his waist. Hillary’s luminous smile outshone the porch light.
“I faxed!” Josh crowed.
Terra smothered him with kisses. “So did I! Did you get mine?”
“Yep. And Macy’s, too!” He wriggled out of her arms and tugged her toward the door.
“Macy?” she questioned, perplexed.
“Uh-huh. Come ‘n’ see.”
“It transmitted just great,” Andrew said. “My Christmas present works.”
Hillary chided her husband gently, “High time, too. We can’t run a mail-order business without a fax.”
“We’re not in business yet,” he reminded her. “Terra’s the only Camden in business right now.”
Terra gave him and her mother quick hugs. “Macy faxed me here?”
“Nothing to be concerned about from the sound of it,” Andrew said. “Just a few words.” He moved toward his office. “I’ll get it for you.”
Josh protested. “I wanna, Grando.”
“Okay. Save me the trip.”
Josh raced away and came back with the message. He showed off his knowledge of the alphabet by spelling out Macy’s name before handing the paper to Terra.
The message was brief. “I checked and your stars are perfect for the Bride’s Bay job. Really, Terra, go for it!”
Aware that her father couldn’t have helped reading it first, Terra folded the page and stuffed it into her coat pocket. As casually as possible, she shrugged out of the coat and made light of her secretary’s encouraging words.
“Macy gets overexcited by the darnedest things at times. As if I put any belief in my stars.”
Hillary took her coat from her. “Sit down and relax with Josh while Dad helps me finish cooking dinner.”
Terra flopped gratefully into an armchair and Josh scrambled into her lap. He started telling her all the news of his day, beginning with preschool. Terra found herself only half listening, distracted by thoughts of South Carolina.
“I made a sailboat!” Josh enthused. His blue eyes— so like Rafe Jermain’s—sparked with excitement. “A paper one. It floated in the sink. Then it sunk.”
Terra murmured, “Poor boat.”
Josh’s words didn’t help distract her from thoughts of Rafe, for Rafe had been a boating enthusiast. Her one and only encounter with him had been in Charleston Harbor on his sailboat. Six weeks later, his boat had sunk far out in the Caribbean near the island republic of Montinerro. He’d been smuggling arms to Montinerro’s brutal dictator and been apprehended in the act by naval authorities. He tried to escape by going over-board into shark-infested waters and was never seen again.
Poor Josh, she thought. He must never, never know.
“Mommy?”
“Hmm?”
“Why don’t we have a daddy?”
The words sank in and Terra caught her breath. She cleared her throat and managed to reply. “He’s some-where else.”
So far, that vague answer had satisfied Josh whenever he’d questioned her about his male parent. Now, though, he was looking distrustful of her simple words.
“How come?”
“Let’s talk about it tomorrow. Okay?”
“Steven’s daddy is big. I want my daddy.”
Steven was one of Josh’s classmates at preschool, she recalled worriedly. It was natural for Josh to start comparing himself to other children and noticing a difference.
“How big is Steven’s father?” she inquired, hoping to divert him. Maybe he wouldn’t ask again soon. Maybe she’d figure out what to say in the meantime. “As big as a dinosaur?”
Josh’s eyes grew round, and Terra thanked heaven that his imagination was active and his sense of adventure easily tapped.
“I can beat up a T-Rex,” he stoutly announced, flexing his biceps to prove his strength.
“Josh, what big muscles you’re growing.”
He puffed up with pride and abruptly changed the subject. “I wanna be a sailor, okay?”
Troubled by his wish, she murmured, “We’ll see.”
A moment later he wiggled out of her lap and went to display his muscles to his grandfather. Terra closed her eyes and wondered what to say the next time he popped the daddy question. The answer refused to come.
She only knew that she couldn’t tell him the truth. He was too young to understand why and how she’d gotten pregnant in her junior year at college.
Thinking back to that time in her life, she recalled her two free-spirited dormmates, Jilly and Fallon. The day before spring break, they impulsively decided to go somewhere like Fort Lauderdale for the first big weekend of the college holiday.
Terra happened to mention another place she’d heard was popular at spring break—Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. In fact, she’d heard it from her aunt’s famous client, Chef Hanes, a native South Carolinian. That was recommendation enough for Jilly and Fallon. They decided on Myrtle Beach and urged Terra to join them.
She remembered how reluctant she’d been to go. Her life before college had been sedate and sheltered, regimented somewhat by military regulations. Overly protective, her parents had put her in private girls’ schools in San Francisco. Not until college did she have social autonomy, and even then she didn’t begin to break out of her mold until Jilly and Fallon moved into the dorm. Dramatic-arts
majors, they were spontaneous, free-spirited, sexually experienced and adventurous.
If they hadn’t talked her into it, she would never have gone. And if she had never gone, she’d have no problem about going to that area now.
“Sweetpea?”
Terra opened her eyes and blinked. “What?”
“Sorry to wake you, but dinner’s five minutes away.”
She rubbed her eyes and fibbed to her father, “I dozed off. What a week it’s been. Busy.”
“Sounds like you’ll be busier,” he said, settling his tall frame onto the sofa, “if Macy’s fax means you’re wanted over at Bride’s Bay Resort.”
“Wanted,” she confirmed hesitantly, “but not willing to take on the project.”
Andrew blinked at her. “Not willing? Did Chef Hanes quit working there or something?”
“No. It, well, just doesn’t fit into my schedule.”
Her father looked all the more surprised. “Your best-known client doesn’t fit into your schedule? Claire would turn over in her grave if she could hear you.”
“Dad, I just can’t drop everything else and go.”
“Claire would have worked out a way,” he said. “Sweetpea, this isn’t like you at all, turning down business.” He paused. “What’s wrong? You seemed worried when you got home, and you still do.”
Terra was well aware of how difficult it was to deceive either of her parents about her moods and motives. They’d always been overly protective of her, ultrasensitive to every nuance of her behavior. She couldn’t really blame them since she was their only child, all they had. She’d always understood how precious she was to them, and being a parent herself now gave her an even deeper understanding of their concerns.
“I’m dizzy with relief,” she told him. “The rutabagas had me on the ropes.”
“If you say so,” he acceded reluctantly. “But if there’s something else…”
“Nothing at all, Dad.” She saw him looking only half-convinced. “Look, I know I can come to you and Mom, no matter what the trouble. Not that there’s any trouble.”
He said, “Losing Columbia Hanes as a client would be troublesome, not to mention straining your friendship with her. There must be some way you can pull it off, maybe postpone your vacation plans.”
Stranger In The Night Page 3