“Not with the feds and Montinerro in bed together now on diplomacy and trade. Not with Leon pulling strings in between. Either way, both countries want me dead. Coming back was insane. I shouldn’t have thought I’d beat the risks. Risks I never calculated—like your little boy’s blasted ball.”
“Why did you come back?”
“I had a plan to prove myself, until you came along. All I needed was time, a few more weeks.”
“A plan,” she repeated.
He gave a defeated sighed. “It might even have worked.”
Thinking of Josh, and also of the debt she owed her son’s father, Terra took a deep breath. “Rafe…”
“What?”
She plunged off the deep end. “For the time being, I give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“Sure you do.”
“I’m serious.”
“You can’t be.” He lowered his hands and shook his head in disbelief. “You’re a mother with a boy to think of. And yourself, as well.”
She argued, “I’ll keep your secret. Believe me.”
“But why would you—” Rafe broke off, looking floored. “I mean, you’ve got nothing to gain and too much to lose.”
Terra shrugged. “I’m a Libra. You’re an underdog. And Lalie’s belief in you goes a long way with me.”
“Forget it, Terra.” His gruff, off-putting tone was back. “Bringing you into this is going too far.”
“I’m already in, Rafe. You have no choice.”
“I can still shove off on my own. With me gone, nobody’s at risk.”
“What about you?” Terra said. “The shape you’re in, you won’t get far.”
“It’s a risk I’ll have to take.”
Terra wasn’t about to surrender the slim hope she now had, the only hope Josh would ever have. She turned in her chair and laid a guilt trip on Rafe.
“If you shove off, you’ll break Lalie’s heart.” Rafe muttered a curse. He pushed away from the bar, limped to the windows and stared out for several minutes. Finally, he turned and threw up his hands.
“So I’ll stick around,” he growled. “For the time being.”
RAFE STOOD INSIDE, behind the curtains, and watched Terra walk from the estate to Lalie’s. Through the curtain sheers, his eyes followed her across the brick patio to the sweeping green lawn and up the long slope. The evening breeze played through her hair and rippled the back of her white sleeveless blouse.
God, he’d love to be that breeze right then. It had all the freedom in the world to touch her lips…caress the smooth skin of her slim, graceful legs…swirl upon her ripe, full breasts.
Years without a woman, and just his luck it wasn’t the Wicked Witch of the West who walked in on him. No, it was delectable, desirable Terra Camden, and she’d left him with a hungry heart to add to his bum knee, wrenched back, bruised insides and periodic fevers.
Given those other miseries, he shouldn’t be making it twice as hard on himself by watching her return to Lalie’s house. He’d rather think it was just his sex drive kicking up a fuss over her, but it was more. She had an unwelcome, unexplainable effect on his emotions, enough to make him want to forget she was the most dangerous woman he’d ever met.
Something about her seemed familiar, something he couldn’t pin down. Oddly, he was sure he knew just how it would feel to kiss her. He didn’t wonder how it would feel, he simply knew.
Under less threatening circumstances, he would have been excited by what he was feeling for her. Until Terra walked in, he’d been sure his sexual function was a casualty of his prison experience. Correction: hellhole, not prison, was the word for that putrid hovel of horror.
Still, wonder of wonders, he had a surge of sexual energy. The response didn’t overjoy him as it would have if Terra Camden weren’t the stimulus.
Instead of lusting for her, he should be mistrusting her. What guarantee did he have that she really meant to give him the benefit of the doubt? Even if she meant it now, she could change her mind a minute later.
He couldn’t afford to forget that one phone call from her to the law would guarantee a quick, no-questions-asked end of his life courtesy of Leon.
Despite all that, he couldn’t unglue his eyes from their view of Terra. Couldn’t stop mentally taking her in his arms and kissing her senseless. Too easily, he could picture himself making love to her. He’d have a hell of a time sleeping tonight if this kept up.
His breath caught as he saw Terra pause at the top of the slope. She turned and looked in his direction. He knew she couldn’t see him from that distance, not through the sheers, yet he almost apologized out loud for his imagination.
Although certain he couldn’t be seen, he stepped back a little from the doors. She stood very still where she was, seeming to stare straight into his soul, then pivoted and went through the picket gate.
Rafe thought more seriously than ever about clearing out. If it wasn’t for Lalie, he’d be gone already. Hell, if he had been ruthless enough about staying alive, he would have left Terra Camden unconscious on the bathroom floor and made a run for it then. He wouldn’t have called Lalie for help.
He wouldn’t still be here, torn in two about what Terra should or shouldn’t do, would or wouldn’t do. He hardly knew her, yet he was letting her make him irrational. What if she’d been bluffing, playing for time to get to a phone so she could report him and Lalie? He’d be smartest to make his move now instead of trusting a stranger.
The more he thought about it, the closer he leaned toward getting out while he could, even if it meant breaking Lalie’s heart. Not to mention never seeing Terra Camden again.
5
LALIE WAS SEATED at the kitchen table, looking apprehensive, when Terra returned from the estate. Terra sat down with her.
“Josh is still napping,” Lalie said. “How did it go with Rafe?”
“He explained, but he’s suspicious of me. Very mistrustful.”
“What do you think now that you’ve heard him out?”
“I’d like to believe what he says, although I don’t know him as well as you do.”
“He convinced you, then. At least a little.”
“I’m willing to reserve judgment at this point,” Terra said. “He mentioned a plan to prove himself, but he didn’t give any details.”
“He won’t talk about it any more than to say he’s got one, Terra. The less I know, the better, he says. I do know I’m not the only American with a wholehearted belief in him, although it may seem that way to you from all the news you heard.”
“It seems possible that the headlines were wrong.”
“Bless you,” Lalie said, bowing her head. “When I first set eyes on you in San Francisco, my special angel told me you were a young lady with a big heart. You still are.”
Terra demurred, “I don’t know about that. Simply fair-minded is more like it. At any rate, Rafe and I came to a temporary understanding that I’ll keep the secret and he’ll stay put.”
“The question is,” Lalie said worriedly, “how long?”
“That’s up to Rafe. He says he hates endangering us.”
Lalie nodded. “I’m a conspirator, no regrets about it for myself. But then, my child is an adult who will understand if I ever go to prison for this. Your little Josh will be without you if it’s ever discovered what you know about Rafe.”
Terra was silent, agonizing, then she said, “Lalie, if I told you my deepest secret, would you keep it, no matter what?”
“Of course. Just as I’ve kept Rafe a secret, I’d keep yours. Whatever it is.”
“It has to do with Rafe. He’s…”
“Terra, what?”
In a painful whisper, Terra revealed, “Josh is Rafe’s son.”
Lalie went completely still, staring at her with wide, unblinking eyes. “His…?”
“Son,” Terra repeated softly. “No one else knows.”
Lalie’s eyes went closed and she shook her head slightly as if comprehending was a stru
ggle. For some time she stayed that way, then her eyelids fluttered open. “Rafe…and you? How?”
Terra gave a helpless nod and haltingly began to explain.
BY THE TIME she finished, both she and Lalie were clasping hands on the tabletop, all choked up.
“Oh, my heavenly Lord,” Lalie murmured. “So that’s how you got Josh.”
“I’m afraid so.”
“You aren’t sorry to have him.”
“No, never. I’ve only been sorry that Rafe was the man.”
“Terra, he didn’t seem to recognize you at all.”
Terra shrugged. “I had long hair that night, bleached blond for spring break. Looking in the mirror then, I hardly recognized myself, and even my girlfriends were amazed at how different blond hair made me look.”
“Do you intend to keep Rafe in the dark about this?”
“I don’t know. I need time to think it through and weigh what to do. If Rafe turns out to be innocent, maybe I’d want him to know. If he’s guilty, though…”
“I see what you mean,” Lalie said, looking torn. “For as long as you want, your secret is safe with me.” Her face creased in a sad smile. “I know life isn’t all moonlight and roses and happy endings the way everyone would like it to be.”
“No, not for me.”
“Terra, you’ve done your best in your own set of circumstances, and that’s something for you to be proud of. Your good mothering and your family’s support shows in your son.”
“It’s so hard sometimes, Lalie. I doubt myself so often, worry that I’m not spending enough time with Josh. Or that other single mothers are so much better at it than I am.”
Terra was grateful to unburden herself a little more. Lalie’s innate kindness, soothing touch and receptive warmth just brought it all tumbling out.
“Of course it’s hard,” Lalie agreed. “With no serious challenges and hardships to face, how else would we learn, how would we grow into better people? You’re smarter and better for your struggles, from what I see, and I’ll bet Josh is, too.”
Terra gave her a grateful smile. “You’re improving my perspective on myself.”
“Good. Now, how about us having some dinner for ourselves?”
They served up the chowder and popovers, then settled down again to eat. While Lalie said grace, Terra thought, I’m in this up to my ears now.
From now on, she was committed to constant anxiety, desperate hope and gnawing doubt. Whatever happened after this was anyone’s guess.
Was she conspiring to hide a criminal? Or was she giving an unjustly incriminated man a fair break? Would she ever really know?
Josh appeared in the kitchen doorway, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and Terra motioned him to sit in her lap and wake up.
“I see it now,” Lalie murmured. “The blue eyes and the same chin. It’s there, now that I know.”
Unaware, Josh snuggled against Terra and yawned. Terra held him close, asking herself if she was doing the right thing by conspiring with Rafe.
In so many ways she was still in a daze. Too much was happening, far more than she had ever feared or anticipated even in her wildest imagination. Her thoughts veered between faint hope and stark terror.
She questioned, Do you know what you’re doing? Are you insane or what?
There was no saying, not with any degree of certainty. Discovering Rafe had shaken her world and displaced its axis. Terra couldn’t even imagine what knots she’d be in if the invitation to dinner with Rafe’s grandparents had been tonight instead of tomorrow.
But, all things considered, would tomorrow night be any easier to handle? She wasn’t counting on anything after this, except that anything could and might happen.
THE NEXT MORNING BROUGHT sunlight and a phone call to Terra’s room. She didn’t need either one to wake her up after having a mostly sleepless night plagued by doubts about her sanity, Rafe himself and the dangerous decision she’d made to keep him a secret.
“Morning,” Columbia greeted on the other end. “Good news. I’ve got my sous chef back. How does nine-thirty to eleven sound for our first meeting tomorrow?”
“Fine,” Terra agreed. “What about afternoon?”
“I’m not sure yet. In the meantime, get acquainted with the business center for secretarial services. Elise Jennings manages it.”
“Good idea, I’ll do that.”
“What did you and mama arrange for Josh?”
“I’ll take him there each morning, spend lunchtime with him, then collect him around four every afternoon.”
“Great. See you nine-thirty, tomorrow. The concierge or any of the bellmen can direct you to my office. By the way, don’t forget to enjoy the vacation part of your time here, or I’ll feel guilty.”
“Enjoyment is a given at a place like this,” Terra assured her, even though relaxation wasn’t an option after her earth-shaking discovery yesterday. Rafe’s existence was definitely not a stress-buster.
Terra hung up the phone and turned her attention to Josh, who was getting out of the trundle bed. He crawled in under her covers to cuddle.
She kissed him good-morning. “How’s my little dreamer?”
He gave a big yawn and silently continued waking up. Terra glanced at the empty side of the bed as she sifted her fingers through his silky dark hair. An image came to her of Rafe lying there, of the three of them snuggling together—a family affair.
Then another image formed, one from memory, of herself and Rafe in his sailboat, entwined with each other, locked in passion, shuddering with pleasure.
And making a baby, in spite of the protection they’d used. Rafe had saved her life that night; together, they’d unknowingly brought another life into being.
For the rest of her life and even beyond it, she was linked indelibly to Rafe Jermain. Because of him, she was alive today. Alive, well and mother to their child.
Not their love child, for they hadn’t been in love. Josh, to her sad regret, was passion’s child, a passion she hadn’t known until Rafe lit her fire. Still, there had been sweetness and romance in their passion, so fervently imaginative and exuberant, never cheap or tawdry.
Rafe had taken great care with her. Exquisite care. She had known even then that she’d never have another lover like him. She had dated a few men since then—fewer of them more than halfheartedly—and learned from being intimate a couple of times how right she’d been about Rafe.
He’d been simply, without a doubt, the best there could be.
Maybe he still was, she mused painfully. But what of it, in that case? Finding out either way wasn’t the reason she was giving him the benefit of the doubt now. Yet, a small inner voice said her reasons didn’t actually exclude a precipitating urge to find out.
Her purpose was to discover the truth about his guilt or innocence, not about his sexual charm. So she should be reminding herself all along that he had once been so virile that a condom hadn’t contained him. She wouldn’t risk anything romantic with him again, would she?
Ridiculous even to be arguing about it with herself night and day. Time and again. Never reaching a proper conclusion….
ON THE WAY THROUGH the lobby to breakfast in the dining room, Terra stopped at the concierge desk and got acquainted with Joanie Griffin. Friendly and upbeat, with a can-do attitude, Joanie was in her late twenties, recently married to Steve Lantz.
“Once you get started at work,” Joanie said, “you’ll want to be in touch with Elise Jennings who runs the business center. Whatever business machines and secretarial service you need, she’s the resource.”
Terra nodded. “Columbia mentioned the center.”
“She says you’re really a whiz, Terra.”
Terra grinned. “She said the same about you.”
“Well, are we flattered no end, or what?”
Terra laughed with her, enjoying the immediate rapport. She noticed the sparkling diamond ring Joanie wore on the ring finger of her left hand.
“It’s beautifu
l, Joanie.”
Joanie’s laughter softened and her eyes glowed. “Thanks. I love it with all my heart. I’m married to Steve, the marketing manager here.” She glanced down at Josh. “Now that I’m a wife, I’m looking forward to motherhood. Your son is a living doll.”
Then, getting down to business, Joanie efficiently arranged the use of a golf cart for Terra to go back and forth to Lalie’s. Carts and special minivans were the main form of island transportation for the resort’s guests and employees.
Joanie called for the cart to be brought to the front door so Terra could go exploring after breakfast. Setting down the phone, she glanced across the lobby.
“Oh, there’s Liz, the general manager. Have you met? No?”
She signaled to Liz Jermain, who came over to them, and introduced Terra. Liz was thirtysomething, a beauty with glossy brown shoulder-length hair. She wore a chic, colorful, silk suit and had an air of independence about her. Terra already knew that Liz was Rafe’s only sister, but she hadn’t known she was blue-eyed, like him.
Giving a gracious smile, Liz shook Terra’s hands. “We’re so glad you could come, Terra.” She bent down to Josh and shook his hand, too. “Young Josh, how are you?”
“My ears went pop in the airplane,” he replied.
Terra went perfectly still as Liz bent a little lower, looking into his face. Liz glanced up at her and then back to Josh with increasing, unwavering intensity.
Terra told herself it was unlikely that Liz would make any connection between Josh and Rafe. After all, Lalie hadn’t perceived it until she learned the facts.
“My golly, Josh,” Liz said, “what utterly blue eyes you have.”
He nodded. “Like Grando.”
Terra felt a surge of relief and silently blessed Josh for his matter-of-fact, all-in-the-family reply. Thank heaven that her father’s eyes, pale bluish gray, had at least a smidgen of color in common with Josh’s. It was slight, but it was there, and Andrew often made a proud point of it.
“Remarkable,” Liz said, straightening up. “Blue runs in my family, as well.”
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