by Rod Duncan
It was the voice of Mrs Simmonds calling from the steering platform. I felt so happy and at peace that I called for her to come in and join us.
“A package has arrived,” she announced. “It’s addressed to you, not to your brother. You must open it directly.”
Having prised the small parcel from her grasp, I turned it in my hands. My name and address were written in that aristocratic hand I had once thought to belong to the Duchess of Bletchley.
When my guests were seated, I unpicked the knots and flattened out the brown paper with which the parcel had been wrapped. A book lay within, its leather binding wrinkled and distorted as if by great age. A sheet of notepaper rested on top of it:
Dear Elizabeth. In payment of my debt, I am sending this, an heirloom of my family. It isn’t the gold I promised, but I’ve been told it has a hidden value. I hope you may unlock it, where I have failed.
“What is it?” Julia asked.
“It’s a mouldy book, for sure,” Mrs Simmonds said.
Certainly, a musty odour rose from it, but it was not entirely unpleasant. I could smell cinnamon as well as old parchment. Undoing the brass fastener, I opened the heavy cover and laid it flat. On the frontispiece, the title had been hand written in an archaic script: The Bullet Catcher’s Handbook.
I turned the first page and started to read aloud: “There was once a line marked out by God, through which were divided Heaven and Hell...”
“What a curious book,” said Mrs Simmonds.
“My father used to quote to me from it. But I’ve not heard this part before.” I flicked through some more pages, the parchment smell wafting up as each leaf fell.
“What does the note mean?” asked Julia.
“That,” I said, “I do not know.”
Selected entries from:
A Glossary of the Gas-Lit Empire
The Anglo-Scottish Republic
The northernmost nation formed by the partition of Britain following the 1819 armistice. The city of Carlisle is its capital, the seat of its parliament and other agencies of government. It is a democracy, with universal suffrage for all men over 21 years of age.
The Anstey Amendment
An amendment to the armistice signed at the end of the British Revolutionary War. The border had initially been drawn as an east-west line from the Wash, passing just south of Derby. However, when news started to spread that Anstey was to be controlled by the Kingdom, new skirmishes broke out. The Anstey Amendment was therefore drafted, redrawing the border to include a small southerly loop and thereby bring Ned Ludd’s birthplace into the Republic.
The border had originally been drawn so that it would pass through sparsely populated countryside. An unforeseen consequence of the Anstey Amendment was the bisection of the city of Leicester between the two new nations and its subsequent flourishing as a centre of trade and communication.
Armistice
The agreement which brought the British Revolutionary War to a close. Britain had been depleted of men and resources in the stalemate of the Napoleonic Wars. Three further years of civil conflict reduced it to economic collapse and the population to the point of starvation.
On January 30th 1819, the leaders of the opposing armies met in Melton Mowbray and signed the armistice document, which was later ratified by the two governments. (See also: The Anstey Amendment.)
Avian Post
The name given to commercial services in various countries that rely on pigeons to carry messages rapidly over great distances. The breeding of specialist night flying birds greatly increased the efficiency of the Avian Post, though it remained too expensive to be of significant use to the general population.
The British Revolutionary War
Also known as the Second English Civil War and as the Luddite Revolution, it ran for exactly three years from January 30th 1816 to January 30th 1819 and resulted in the division of Britain into two nations: the Anglo-Scottish Republic and the Kingdom of England and Southern Wales.
The untamed lands of northern Wales cannot be said to be a true nation as they are ruled by no government.
Bullet Catcher
One who performs a bullet catch illusion. The term is also used to describe stage magicians known for other large-scale or spectacular illusions.
The Bullet Catcher’s Handbook
The Bullet Catcher’s Handbook is a collection of sayings, aphorisms and technical knowledge accumulated by travelling conjurors. Being the product of many different authors in different centuries, the entries vary widely in style. Some seem to be transcriptions from an early oral tradition, possibly medieval in origin. Others belong to the Golden Age of stage magic.
Though extracts have been reproduced in scholarly works, the book itself has never been printed or distributed among the wider population. Not all the sayings known of by academics are present in every copy. Travelling people believe in the existence of an authoritative and comprehensive manuscript, which contains even such portions of the text legitimately expunged from other copies by the Patent Office. However this belief is not shared by experts in the field.
The Council of Aristocrats
The highest agency of government in the Kingdom of England and Southern Wales. It meets in London and has authority over the general population as well as the monarchy.
The Council of Guardians
The highest agency of government of the Anglo-Scottish Republic. Sixty per cent of its membership is appointed. Forty per cent is elected by universal suffrage of all men over the age of 21. Its meetings are held in Carlisle.
Elizabeth Barnabus
A woman regarded by historians as having had a formative role in the fall of the Gas-Lit Empire. Born in a travelling circus, and becoming a fugitive at the age of 14, with no inheritance but the secret of a stage illusion, she nevertheless came to stand at the very fulcrum of history.
No individual could be said to have caused the collapse of such a mighty edifice. Rather, it was brought low by the great, the inexorable tides of history. Yet had it not been for this most unlikely of revolutionaries, the manner of its fall would have been entirely different.
The European Spring
The period of revolutions and utopian optimism in Europe that began with the overthrowing of the French monarchy in 1793 and ended with the execution of the King of Spain in 1825.
The Gas-Lit Empire
A popular though inaccurate phrase coined by the Earl of Liverpool to describe the vast territories watched over by the International Patent Office.
The term gained currency during the period of rapid economic and technical development that followed the signing of the Great Accord. It reflects the literal enlightenment that came with the extension of gas lighting around the civilised world.
Though ubiquitous, the term Gas-Lit Empire is misleading, as no single government ruled over its territories. From its establishment to its catastrophic demise, the Gas-Lit Empire lasted exactly 200 years.
The Great Accord
A declaration of intent, signed initially by France, America and the Anglo-Scottish Republic in 1821, which established the International Patent Office as arbiter of collective security. Following revolutions in Russia, Germany and Spain the number of signatories rapidly increased until it encompassed the entire civilised world. The most famous portion of the original text is reproduced below. Subsequent amendments, together with the charter of the powers and responsibilities of the International Patent Office extended it to twenty three pages:
When men of high ideal and pure motive devote themselves to the establishment of an agency and of laws that will surpass the jurisdiction and sovereignty of the nations, it behoves them, out of respect to the opinions of others, to state the cause which impels them so to act.
Whereas some sciences and inventions have manifestly secured and improved the wellbeing of the common man, we hold it self-evident that others have wrought terrible suffering. Never has it been the way of science to separate the seemly fro
m the unseemly. Therefore has the good of all been offered up for sacrifice on the altars of egotism and narrow self-interest. Since the nations have failed to rein in their scientists and inventors, it has fallen to us to establish, through this Great Accord, a supra-national sovereignty adequate to the task.
In adding our signatures to this declaration, we are not embarking on a campaign of military conquest, rather it is our intention to subdue recalcitrant nations through the evident truth of our cause. But should any nation rise up against this Great Accord, we hereby pledge to combine all the strength at our disposal into one mighty army and reduce the aggressor to abject submission.
We also pledge to offer up such funds as are necessary for the establishment and maintenance of an International Patent Office, whose task it shall be to secure the wellbeing of the common man. This it shall achieve through the separation of seemly science from that which is unseemly, through the granting or withholding of licences to produce and sell technology, through the arbitration of disputes and through the execution of whatever punishments are deemed fit. In creating an agency of such sweeping powers, we are minded also to put in place the means for its dissolution. Thus, should two thirds of the signatory nations agree, the entire accord will be deemed null, the Patent Office rolled up and its assets divided equally between all.
With these high aims and clear safeguards established, we, the representatives of the republics of France, America and Anglo-Scotland, together with whatsoever nations may hereafter voluntarily append their names and titles, freely enter into this Great Accord on behalf of our peoples. In doing so we hold ourselves absolved from all previous alliances and treaties.
The International Patent Office
The agency established in 1821 and charged with overseeing the terms of the Great Accord. Its stated mission and highest goal is to “protect and ensure the wellbeing of the common man”. This it does through enforcement of International Patent Law.
Agents of the Patent Office have wide powers to investigate, prosecute and punish patent crime by individuals and organizations. Were the Patent Office to judge any nation guilty, it would issue an edict calling on all other signatory nations to reduce the transgressor to dust.
Though investing them with sweeping powers, the Great Accord and its amendments also subject agents of the Patent Office to certain restrictions of personal freedom.
The Kingdom of England and Southern Wales
The southernmost nation formed by the partition of Britain following the 1819 armistice.
With its capital and agencies of government in London, it would be easy to mistake the Kingdom as merely the rump of the older, larger Britain. However, with the rule of the country passing out of the hands of the monarch and parliament and into the control of the Council of Aristocrats, it must be regarded as a revolutionary nation in its own right.
Ned Ludd
Inspirational figurehead of the Luddite movement. A weaver from Anstey in Leicestershire, Ned Ludd inspired the Luddite movement by smashing two mechanical knitting machines in 1799. He was posthumously named “father of the revolution” and “Father of the Anglo-Scottish Republic”.
Ned Ludd Day
The annual celebration of Ned Ludd’s life. It takes place on 21st March, though there is no reason to believe this was his actual birthday. It is traditionally marked by the presentation of gifts and the symbolic destruction of models of the “infernal machines” by the head of each household. Bank Holiday in the Anglo-Scottish Republic.
Polari
The cryptic vocabulary that makes up a private language used by travelling showmen, circus people and other sub-cultures throughout the Kingdom and the Republic. Polari words and phrases include:
Gaff: The fairground
Jal: To arrive or leave
Josser: Non circus people
Rum Col: The boss. Literally, your best friend.
Scarper: To run away
Tober: The fairground lot
Patent Crime
The production, sale or use of any technology judged by the International Patent Office to be “unseemly” or otherwise lacking a patent mark.
The Rational Dress Society
An organization dedicated to minimising the harm caused to women by excessively restrictive clothing.
Revolutionary Nations
Those nations established during the European Spring.
The Second Enlightenment
The long period of relative peace that followed the establishment of the Great Accord. Though nations have engaged in border skirmishes and imposed trade embargoes on each other and used their economies as a weapon, there has been no pan-European conflict since stalemate and exhaustion ended the Napoleonic Wars in 1815.
Wild Eights
A gambling game typically played for low stakes by working men and travellers. Though sometimes viewed as a simplified version of poker, Wild Eights may be the game from which poker emerged.