“Yes! Don’t just stop there,” Felix says. Kade leans in by a fraction, opening his mouth two inches away from Felix’s cock.
“Gonna have to do it yourself,” Kade says, pushing his tongue out. Felix groans, his cock throbbing. Kade wants him to fuck his mouth. Heat surges down his body, makes his cock jump. Felix flushes, reaching down.
Five months ago, Kade wouldn’t have allowed him to do this. They’d been separated so long, and Felix had had no idea how he should act around his alpha, how to avoid reopening those wounds. But Kade sits in front of Felix now, mouth patiently open. Felix carefully shuffles forward on the chair, angling his cock down with his fingers. The tip of it brushes over Kade’s nose, smearing precum over Kade’s lips and tongue.
“C’mon,” Kade murmurs, licking his head, sending another whisper of pleasure through his body.
Felix groans, dragging the chair closer. He pushes his cock into Kade’s mouth, and Kade’s lips close around his head. “Fuck,” Felix gasps, his hips rolling forward. Kade’s mouth is wet, snug, and it makes him throb to see his cock disappearing inside. Kade hollows his cheeks, sending a spark of pleasure down his nerves.
“That all you can do?” Kade asks, the words muffled around Felix’s cock.
So Felix bucks his hips, shoving into Kade’s mouth, grinding helplessly against his tongue. Kade’s throat works, his tongue dragging down his length. Felix shudders, needing more, needing to see Kade taking him in like he’s Felix’s.
He reaches up, winding fingers through Kade’s hair, pulling him closer. His alpha yields, until Felix hits the back of his throat, sliding out, then in, and this is far more intimate than Felix deserves.
He pulls out of Kade’s mouth, panting, and Kade glances down at his spit-slick cock. Felix gulps. He lifts his legs, wriggling out of his pants, and Kade’s nostrils flare.
Felix tosses his pants to the side, showing Kade his cock and balls, his hole. Kade growls, reaching down to rub himself through his jeans.
“Want something?” Felix whispers, wriggling off his seat into Kade’s lap, straddling him easily, his cock dragging along Kade’s shirt, leaving a trail of precum down thin fabric.
“What do you want?” Kade asks, looking between Felix’s face and his straining cock. Felix reaches down for his belt, tugs it loose to pull Kade’s pants open. His fingers tremble with how much he needs his alpha inside. The zipper rasps between them, and when Felix pushes his hand into Kade’s pants, he finds his thick, silky cock, the same one he’d seen in those phone pictures.
“Just this,” Felix breathes, pulling Kade’s cock out, letting it stand between them, bigger than his own. He pushes his hips forward, rubbing their cocks together, and Kade sets one hand on his ass, hauling him close. Kade’s cock is warm and heavy against Felix’s own. Felix looks down between them, watching as his precum smears against Kade’s cock. They slide against each other, their tips wet, his pleasure stroking up against Kade’s.
“Fuck,” Kade groans, his fingers dipping between Felix’s cheeks, circling his hole. Felix relaxes for him, and he pushes in, pressing right against Felix’s prostate.
Pleasure bursts through his nerves like fireworks. Felix jerks against him, crying out.
“Wanna hear you beg,” Kade says, his fingers hooking inside, a firm, unyielding pressure. Felix clutches at his shoulders, his legs trembling. It’s almost too much.
“Kade, please,” Felix gasps, rocking up, his body squeezing around Kade’s fingers.
Kade leans in, licking at the corner of Felix’s lips. “You have soup here,” he says, then licks the other corner, and kisses Felix deep and languid, pushing into his mouth.
Felix licks at him, tangling their tongues. Kade tastes a bit like soup, and a bit like alpha. His fingers work inside Felix. Felix bucks up, his cock aching, his body trembling and over-sensitive.
Then Kade pulls his fingers out, leaving Felix empty. He brings his hand between them, wipes Felix’s slick on his cock, and whispers, “Now ride me.”
Felix groans. With his hands on Kade’s shoulders for support, he leans up, then carefully lowers himself, until Kade’s blunt, moist tip nudges just behind his balls. He rolls his ass until it pushes right against his hole, its thick head spreading his cheeks.
Felix sits, biting his lip when Kade stretches him open, and he’s inside, grinding against Felix’s prostate, then deeper yet, until Felix takes him in to the hilt, and all he can think about is Kade inside him.
Kade bares his teeth, chest heaving, staring at Felix like he wants to devour him. And Felix wants him to. He rocks on Kade’s lap, sliding him partway out, sitting back onto his cock, groaning as it presses into him over and over. Kade’s nostrils flare, and sweat gleams along his throat.
“Feel good?” Kade whispers. He wraps his fingers around Felix’s cock, holding still. When Felix raises himself on his knees, his cock slides into Kade’s hand, into his tight grip.
“Yes,” Felix hisses. He skims his hands down Kade’s chest, over the nipples straining at his shirt, then down to his solid abs.
He wants to see Kade’s abs, suddenly, feel the way they dip under his touch. So he curls his fingers into the hem of his shirt, rucking it up. Kade grabs his hands, eyes flashing.
He sets his own palms down on Felix’s hips, pushing him off his lap so he lands with a thump on the kitchen floor. Kade follows him, flattens his hand against Felix’s chest, pushing him down, one hand coming up to cradle his head. Felix’s back hits the floor, knocking the air from his lungs.
“Gonna fuck you,” Kade growls, leaning over him, their chests inches apart, his cock sliding wetly against Felix’s ass, thick and hungry.
“Yes, please,” Felix says, spreading his legs, wrapping them around Kade’s waist. Kade pushes their cocks together once, trailing precum onto Felix, before he pushes back inside Felix’s ass. Felix opens for him, ready, but he doesn’t expect the vicious shove of Kade’s cock inside him, and he arches, taking his bondmate’s cock, his body humming with pleasure. “Kade, please, harder.”
Kade barks a laugh. “Not hard enough?” His fingers curl into Felix’s hair, and he hooks his other hand against Felix’s shoulder, holding him down. Then he withdraws, and fucks into Felix so hard Felix’s entire body jerks up, and he cries out, needing more.
“Yes, oh gods, yes,” Felix pants, his fingers catching in Kade’s shirt, clinging to his sides. Kade’s thrusts speed up, a steady rhythm that lights all of Felix’s nerves, makes him aware of Kade inside him, Kade pounding him into the floor, and his own cock drips onto his shirt.
“Gonna make you scream,” Kade whispers in his ear, plunging into Felix, fast and hard. Felix gasps, trying to hang on, the tension inside his body winding to fever-pitch, and he can barely breathe. Kade’s hips snap up, his cock burying deep inside. “Gonna fill you with my cum. Make you take my knot.”
And that makes Felix shudder, the thought of his alpha knotting inside him, stretching him open. He shudders, his cock pulsing, and Kade releases his hair, reaching between them to wrap his hand around Felix’s cock. He thumbs Felix’s tip, jacking him, and pleasure crashes through Felix like lightning, searing through his nerves, and a cry rips from his throat, and he can’t breathe, can’t think.
His body clenches around Kade, and Kade comes inside him with a bellow, his cock jerking. Felix feels him inside, filling him up. He shudders and groans, tipping his head back into the floor, and above him, Kade rests his forearm next to Felix’s head, breathing raggedly.
When Kade stops panting, he nuzzles Felix’s ear, nipping it with his teeth. “Forgot to ask. Still on the pill?”
“You don’t have to keep asking,” Felix says. It’s obvious that you don’t want a child. His chest hurts. “Yes. I am.”
Kade sighs, burying his nose in Felix’s hair. His knot swells inside his body, a slow, pleasant stretch. He bites his lip and moans, his gaze catching on the thick, silvery chain around Kade’s neck. It clings to Kade’s skin, gleami
ng with sweat. Does it have a pendant? You never wore chains before I left.
Before he reaches for it, Kade closes his hand around Felix’s, bringing it up to his face. Felix stares, and Kade noses at the scent gland at his wrist, nostrils flaring.
“You smell sweeter,” Kade says.
Ice spears down Felix’s spine. “I do?” he asks, hoping his voice sounds even. The scent suppressant should be working. Or is his scent getting stronger? “That’s strange.”
“Yeah.” Kade sniffs at him again, his nose dragging down Felix’s throat, nudging at the scent gland at the crook of his shoulder. Felix’s heart thumps in his chest. “It’s not a bad smell. Just that I can’t—can’t smell you properly these days. Not used to it.”
“Really? But it’s been months,” Felix says, heat rising to his cheeks. Maybe Kade’s just checking on him, instead of wanting to smell his scent. Maybe he’s over-thinking this.
Kade sucks in a deep breath, his nose against Felix’s skin, and maybe they shouldn’t be doing this, splayed out half-naked on the kitchen floor. “When are you stopping the scent suppressants?”
“Maybe after I leave,” Felix says. After you can’t smell me anymore. So you won’t hate me.
Kade sighs, burying his face in Felix’s shoulder. For a moment, it feels as though his alpha is vulnerable like that, pressed against him, his face hidden. Kade hasn’t been vulnerable with him in a long time. Then he pulls away, his eyes solemn, and maybe Felix didn’t need to worry about him at all.
Kade slips out of his body, his knot receded, his cock still hard. He tucks it back into his pants, and Felix drags his eyes away from the bulge of it. “Guess I should go.”
“Take some soup with you,” Felix says, sitting up. “You haven’t had any.”
Kade’s expression brightens slowly, like a growing flame. “You have containers?”
“Yeah. I’ll look for them.” Felix climbs to his feet, bare skin squeaking against the tiles. Kade’s stare lingers on him, a warm, steady touch. Felix swallows. He pulls a microwavable dish out from a lower cabinet, his legs bare, secretly glad for the bulky sweater hiding his belly.
Kade grabs Felix’s abandoned clothes then, holding them while Felix scoops simmering soup into the bowl. He fixes a lid onto it, sets it into two plastic bags just in case, and hands the bowl over to Kade in exchange for his clothes.
“Thanks for coming over,” Felix says, smiling. His body aches pleasantly; he’ll be feeling this two days from now.
Kade shrugs, his gaze flickering over Felix’s face. “No worries.”
At the door, Kade steps in close, leaving inches between them. Felix’s breath snags when Kade leans in, kissing him on the lips. His breath puffs against Felix’s cheek, their lips brushing soft and light. Felix’s stomach drops. He doesn’t know what this means, whether it’s a thank you or something else, and he’s still standing at the door as Kade pulls away on his bike, its engine purring.
Maybe he shouldn’t still be in Meadowfall. His gut says he needs to leave, and he... doesn’t want to.
23
Kade
20 Years Ago
The dried blood stays a dark red on his wrist as Kade rides home with his mom. During the drive, she smiles, watching as he picks at his skin.
“I’m happy to know that you’re an alpha,” she says, glancing at the road. “But you’ll have to remember: being alpha does not make you better, or worse than anyone else.”
“Dad says it’s a good thing.” His dad has been grinning when he says, I’m sure you’re gonna be an alpha, kid. Kade has smiled along with him, squirming with excitement.
“People see alphas one way, and omegas another. And betas are different, too. But that doesn’t mean an omega can’t be a leader. There will just be more work involved.”
Kade thinks about Felix smelling like lavender. He doesn’t know if it’s because they’ve been friends so long, or if it’s because he’s exchanged bites with Felix, but Felix smells good to him. “Is that why Felix’s dad doesn’t like him? Felix says his dad isn’t nice.”
Mom looks over at him, her smile fading. “Felix’s father is an important person. He’s the mayor. People want him to fulfill their demands, and he has to make promises to different communities. As the mayor’s son, people will expect things from Felix, if he chooses to follow his father into politics. I believe Mr. Henry is trying to groom him into that position.”
It sounds like gibberish to Kade. “Show me your bonding mark again!”
She smiles, extending her left wrist to him while she drives. Kade holds his forearm next to hers, comparing the marks. Mom’s scar is bigger than his, silvery, while his is still a dark red line. Felix hadn’t bitten very hard at all. “That bond is for life, you know.”
He grins with pride. “I know that. I said I’ll protect Felix no matter what, just like Dad said to you.”
Mom chuckles. “You’re very sure, huh? Most people don’t decide until they’re much older.”
Kade nods. He likes Felix. And Felix had felt warm, curled up against him. “Yeah.”
“At some point, bondmates are expected to marry. Or at least be life partners. You’ll fit into Felix’s life just like he fits into yours, and in the future, the two of you may decide to have children.”
Kade looks down at his mark, thinking about his brothers. Sam and Chris are enough—he doesn’t want another baby he has to take care of. “Don’t wanna,” he says. “But I guess if Felix wants one, I don’t mind.”
She laughs, steering them into their driveway, next to a tiny house with roses along the lawn. “Talk to Felix about it sometime. But you’ll want to wait until you’re at least twenty before making the big decisions, okay? Take your time to decide what you really want.”
Kade nods, rubbing his thumb over the dried blood. “Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to him.”
24
Kade
6 years ago
It isn’t until they’re twenty-four that Kade talks about children again.
They have their own little house now, a single-bedroom cottage with weeds in their front yard and a grassy patch at the back, shaded by some trees. Felix’s father has visited them all of once, ever since they moved into this place. Kade never forgets his narrowed eyes, the contempt with which he glanced at their furniture.
Alastor Henry has never approved of this relationship, and it hurts most when they walk by a kindergarten with cheerful sunflowers painted on the walls, Felix sighing at the children on the slides. Kade wants Felix’s father to be happy for him, like his own dad has been to Kade. Felix deserves more love from Alastor. Often, it seems the only way he can do that is by marrying a richer alpha. Which Kade isn’t.
So when Felix asks, “What do you think of a daughter in the future?” Kade shakes his head. He doesn’t have a bursting bank account. As Felix’s alpha, he’s costing Felix his relationship with his father. Sometimes, he wonders if Felix regrets that they’re bonded, but he doesn’t dare ask.
“I don’t think we should have kids,” Kade says, guilt twinging in him when Felix’s expression falls.
“You don’t?” Felix looks at his feet, and Kade tugs on his hand, leading them to the nearby park.
“We shouldn’t.” Kade swallows, looking away. Kids would complicate their relationship. If they have children and Felix decides he wants a richer alpha, well. Why would he want that reminder of Kade? “I don’t think we’re suited for kids.”
“Oh.” Felix looks down, his fingers going limp in Kade’s hand.
Kade doesn’t know how to solve this, but his gut tells him that was the right response. Even if all the light has gone from Felix’s eyes.
25
Felix
Present Day
Felix wakes the next Saturday when his mattress indents next to his chest, like a weight settling beside him.
He’s stirring, drifting in and out of sleep, snuggled under a thin sheet when gentle fingers touch his forehead. The fingers sl
ide to his temple, warm and comforting, and they... shouldn’t be there. He sleeps alone. No one is supposed to enter his house and sit on his bed.
Kade?
He springs up in bed with a gasp, eyes flying open, and Taylor stares a foot away, his hand retracted. “Felix?”
“Oh, gods,” Felix wheezes, clutching his abdomen. “I thought—I thought you were Kade and I haven’t taken my pills yet and I still smell like pregnant person and I thought I was going to die—”
“Hush,” Taylor says, climbing further onto the bed. He pulls Felix into his arms, stroking his hair, but it doesn’t quiet the thundering of Felix’s heart. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You could have rung the doorbell,” Felix groans, dropping his forehead onto Taylor’s shoulder. He sucks in deep breaths of jasmine, trying to move his hands, and only realizes then that he’s shaking. “I’m so fucking terrified of him sometimes, Taylor.”
His brother stiffens against him. “You haven’t told him yet?”
Felix shakes his head, looking at the translucent curtains, the stacks of sketchbooks on his tiny desk. “What do you think?”
“Oh my god. You’re already five months along, Felix. And Kade still doesn’t know?” Taylor slaps his forehead. “Are you serious?”
“Why don’t you get a surprise pregnancy from an ex,” Felix mutters, worrying the bed sheets with his fingertips. The child squirms in his belly again, an ever-present reminder. “Then tell me about it.”
Taylor sighs, hugging him tight. “You can’t hide this forever.”
“I can hide it until I leave,” Felix says. He wants to gather his stuffed toys close and pull the worn blanket over his head. They stare accusingly at him from the windowsill. “Then I’ll stop with the pills.”
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