Felix frowns, lifting the chain out of his palm. It falls into a loop. There’s a ring at the end of it.
He stares at the plain metal band as it sways, his thoughts whirling. Why were you wearing a ring?
Light glints off the delicate carvings on the inside of the band. Kaden, the first word reads. Felix stares, his fingers shaking. People don’t engrave names on just any ring. Kaden Brentwood.
The ring’s too small for any of Kade’s fingers. Maybe his pinky, but... It slips neatly over the tip of Felix’s index finger. He rocks back onto his heels, sitting heavily on the floor. You couldn’t have...
He slides the ring over to the chain clasp. The chain unhooks after a few tries. Felix slips the ring out, his throat tight.
It fits right onto his ring finger, cool and sturdy, stopping at his second knuckle because he’s put on weight. But it would have been a snug fit otherwise, and—Felix can’t breathe.
It’s the ring Kade had proposed with five years ago.
46
Felix
5 Years Ago
The headlines blare in his mind.
One in Five of Meadowfall will be in Debt and Homeless.
Meadow Village Homes to Clear out Existing Tenants.
Sudden Rent Hikes Bankrupt the Community.
Felix clenches the papers in his hands, storming through the hallways of his father’s mansion, his footfalls muffled by the thick carpets.
He hasn’t agreed to be part of this. He hasn’t thought the success from his illustrations would give his father ambitious ideas to fill his properties. He hasn’t thought his father would use his drawings to throw out a huge part of his community.
Kade’s family will be homeless in two weeks.
Felix has called his father’s home rental company, asking to speak with corporate. He has told them, repeatedly, that as Alastor Henry’s son, he has a say in the cooperation’s practices. He wants to erase those debts, let people back into their homes.
All he’s been met with are associates reciting scripts. I’m afraid that the changes have been implemented. No, the tenants will be held to their contracts. No, we can’t change that.
He twists the knob of his father’s study door, flinging it open.
At his polished desk, the mayor of Meadowfall glances up from his monthly planner, mildly curious. Felix slaps the newspapers down in front of him, his chest burning.
“You’re evicting them,” he snarls. How can his father do this? How is he even related to this man? “You’re charging them for things they don’t even owe. And you paid off the lawyers so no one will fight for them.”
Alastor Henry straightens his shoulders, leaning into his high-backed seat. His cool gaze sweeps over Felix. “Yes.”
I can’t believe you’re my father. “You can’t do that.” Felix jabs his finger at the papers. “You’re the mayor. You can’t just screw your people over!”
His father tilts his head, gray eyes calm. “I don’t have time for tantrums, Felix. The wealthy will give Meadowfall’s economy a boost.”
“I didn’t agree to this,” Felix snaps. “Those were my drawings you used to sucker the new tenants in.”
Alastor’s gaze turns flinty. “You were aware what marketing images are for. This should have occurred to you before you handed them over. Or had you forgotten that while you were cavorting with that... what’s his name?”
It still hurts, surprisingly. Felix wishes he could wring his father’s neck, wishes he could hurt his father just as he has hurt him. But he’s never been able to. Father’s always said he’s helpless, and Felix hates it. “Kade,” he says, his eyes stinging. “His name is Kade Brentwood. We’ve been bonded fifteen years. You knew that.”
“Ah.” His father looks back down at his organizer, a fountain pen perched in his fingers. “You should already know—the decision is irrevocable.”
“At least make an exception for the Brentwoods’ home. They’re my family!”
“And I’m not?” The mayor narrows his eyes. “You’re an embarrassment to the Henry line, and to me, Felix. Taylor has found success for himself. What about you? What can you do, other than caper with some forgettable boy?”
Felix flinches, shame dulling his fury. He and Kade live in a little cottage by themselves, saving up, and that’s fine. They’re happy. Kade is more than anything he can ask for.
But Felix is still a failure to his father, to everyone, and he has failed Kade and his family, now. The Brentwoods will be in debt because of Felix.
In two weeks, Kade’s parents and brothers will be kicked out onto the sidewalks, too.
“Take your leave,” Alastor Henry says, making a note in his organizer. “Come back when you have something of value to say.”
Felix flinches, his ears ringing. He’s Alastor Henry’s son, and all he does is beg. His father’s voice echoes in his head. You could have done better. Taylor was named one of the top five employees in his firm.
Heart thudding in his chest, Felix drifts along the winding driveway, past the iron gates. What had gone wrong? Why can’t I be better?
He can’t tell Kade about this. Kade has always known that Felix’s family is rich, but Felix has never mentioned his father’s position as a landlord. He hadn’t wanted Kade thinking he needs to be wealthy too, hadn’t wanted his alpha comparing himself to Alastor Henry.
What can he do to help Kade’s family? Kade’s parents had taken him in, treating him as their own; Kade’s mom mended tears in his clothes, Kade’s dad showed him how to score in basketball, and even Kade’s brothers had shared their cookies with him.
They don’t deserve to be thrown out on the streets. But they aren’t welcome in his father’s mansion, and Felix doesn’t have much money scrounged up to help with their pending bill. Maybe they can all bunk in the rental home he and Kade share.
He doesn’t realize he’s home until the cottage comes into view. The tiled red roof burns into his eyes, and the curtains are drawn—Kade’s home, maybe working on his laptop. Felix’s stomach plummets.
At the door, he thinks about not stepping inside at all. If Kade has somehow made the connection between Felix and the evictions, he would be furious with Felix. That his omega could wreak so much damage on his parents and siblings. That his omega doesn’t have the power to prevent it at all. The Brentwoods’ rental bill hasn’t shown up yet, but once it does...
Cold horror slides over Felix’s skin. He can’t ever let Kade know how he and his father are connected to the evictions.
I don’t have to tell him anything.
Felix sucks in a deep breath, pushing the door open.
Inside, soft music croons through the hallway. Felix shuts the door quietly behind himself, trudging toward the study. Kade’s at his desk, headphones over his ears, drumming his fingers as he scans the black-and-white windows on his screen.
Felix tiptoes into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. He should eat. But he isn’t hungry, and he sees the mansion in his mind again, his father’s disapproving stare. Felix isn’t good enough. How can Kade even tolerate him?
He twists the knobs on the stove, watching as the electric burner comes on, glowing red-hot. Waves of heat radiate into his chest.
He turns the burner off. On again, then off. On again, then off.
“Didn’t think you were home already,” Kade says behind him, his voice light.
Felix jumps, his heart slamming painfully into his ribs. “Oh! I didn’t think I—I should bother you. You were busy.”
Kade shrugs, the light in his eyes dulling. “Something wrong?”
“Nothing,” Felix says, his pulse in his ears. Does Kade always read him this easily?
His alpha steps over, slipping his arms around Felix’s waist, warm and strong. Felix’s back bumps lightly against his chest. It feels safe in Kade’s arms. Comfortable. Felix wants to lean into him, but he shouldn’t.
Kade slides a hand up his chest. The heat of his hand soaks into Felix’
s sternum, and Felix allows himself to relax. Kade kisses his ear. “Sam said he’ll be home this weekend. Said he won’t mind taking us out to the coast for a dive. You wanna go?”
“Sure,” Felix says, looking at the record covers on their kitchen walls, the ink doodles he had drawn that Kade picked out and pasted on the cabinet doors. “That sounds like fun.”
Kade noses at his hair, then reaches up, kneading Felix’s shoulders. “You’re tense. You went back to your dad’s place?”
Felix forces his body to relax. “Just had a bad run-in. It’s okay,” he says when Kade narrows his eyes. “I’m fine.”
“Still tense.” Kade trails kisses down Felix’s neck, slipping his hands up under Felix’s shirt. “Tell me?”
Felix shivers at his touch. It would be so easy to forget the visit, except he glimpses the wall calendar and the empty squares stretching out in April. Two weeks.
“Hey,” Kade says, turning him around. He kisses Felix, pushing him up against the midnight-blue counters, cupping Felix’s face in his large hands. “C’mon, tell me what’s wrong.”
Kade smiles encouragingly, handsome. Felix’s heart squeezes.
He only notices then that his alpha’s shoulders are tight, too, a soft light in his eyes slowly growing brighter. He focuses on that, desperate not to think about his own guilt.
“Tell me why you’re all excited,” Felix says, leaning into his bondmate, kissing up his throat. Kade smells like pine and cedar, and Felix loves this smell, loves this man.
“I’ve got something coming up,” Kade says, grinning roguishly. “It’s a secret.”
When did you start keeping secrets? Felix squeezes his ass lightly. “You can’t hide it from me like that.”
“Sure can.” Kade’s eyes gleam.
Felix pretends to pout, to distract Kade from probing about the visit. “That’s not fair. Tell me!”
Kade’s breath hitches. He grins wider, reaching down to touch his pocket. “It’s a surprise.”
But Kade wants to talk about it, or he wouldn’t even mention the secret. Curious, Felix slips his hand down to Kade’s pocket.
Kade snags his wrist, his fingers callused and gentle. “No,” Kade says, but his eyes shine. “Not yet.”
“Please?” Felix whines. What are you so excited about? He makes a cutesy face.
Kade chuckles, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You really wanna know?”
“Yes!”
Kade reaches into his pocket. Felix holds his breath, unable to help his smile. Is it a coin, or movie tickets, or maybe even plans for a trip somewhere?
Kade pulls his fingers out, a tiny piece of silver in his fingers. He lifts it up between them, his face tipped toward Felix’s.
It’s a ring.
Felix stares. Why would Kade’s surprise be a ring? Because rings mean promises and marriage, and Kade...
Kade wants to marry me.
Kade’s eyes are hopeful, expectant. Felix’s breath punches out of his lungs.
“Why?” he gasps, a sickening dread coiling in the pit of his stomach. Kade can’t do this. Felix has damned his family to debt, and he doesn’t deserve to be married to Kade at all. He’s still the failure his father says he is.
Kade frowns, his eyes darkening. “No?”
No, no, no. “I can’t,” Felix says, shoving him away, guilt exploding from that sealed-up well in his chest. Kade will hate me. If he makes this promise to me, he’ll regret it.
Kade flinches like Felix has just stabbed him in the gut. “Why not?”
Felix inches away from him, pressing his back to the counter. “Because it’s not right. I’ve been using you.”
“You’re my omega,” Kade says, turning his wrist to expose his bonding scar. Felix cringes. Fifteen years ago, when they created that bond, he didn’t know he’d help his father destroy Kade’s family. If he could return and change everything... he would.
“I shouldn’t be yours.” It hurts to say it. He needs to leave. Free Kade so Kade can find someone else better for him.
“Why?”
“Because this was a mistake!” Felix backs away from him, bumping into the fridge. “We’ve been happy together, and I appreciate that. But it really can’t go on.”
Kade scowls, stepping forward, the ring glinting in his hand. “What happened at your dad’s place? You’ve never been unhappy with me before.”
It strikes Felix, sharp as a palette knife, that Kade won’t stop pursuing this relationship. Until he can see something wrong with them, Kade will hang on to him, because he knows nothing else. They’ve never known anyone aside from each other; Felix regrets that Kade has wasted so much of his life with him.
“I never meant it to last forever,” Felix says, his voice wavering. At any instant, Kade will see through him. He’ll find out about the evictions, and he’ll hate Felix even more. I need to leave. “We’re not right.”
“I love you,” Kade blurts. “I always will.”
Felix’s heart cracks. There’s nothing but honesty in his alpha’s eyes, and he wants to cry. You can’t love me. You shouldn’t. What comes out instead is, “You aren’t good enough for me. I’ve been using you.” Felix doesn’t dare look up from the tiled floor of the kitchen. “I talked to my father. He said you aren’t fit to be my alpha. He said you can’t provide enough. That you won’t ever rank good enough. And I—I agree.”
If there’s one thing Felix knows, it’s this. Despite Felix’s attempts at hiding his family’s wealth, Kade compares himself to what he can see of the, mansion, and Felix’s father. He thinks that’s what Felix would want. And Felix manipulates it now like a monster.
Kade stares, his expression lost. “Really?”
For all the times Kade has read through his lies, he can’t now. Felix nods, sinking his teeth into his lip. “Yeah.”
Kade looks down at the ring. Felix desperately wants to step in and hug him, soothe away his pain. But he can’t. He needs to flee, needs to make sure Kade finds a better omega.
“If—If I try harder, will you stay?” Kade asks, stepping forward. He raises the ring, rubbing his finger over it, and he’s vulnerable now, like a teapot perched on the edge of a table.
“No,” Felix chokes. “You can’t change this. You won’t ever be enough.”
Kade raises the ring anyway. Felix smacks it out of his hand. It bounces against the floor, skidding into a corner with paint peeling off the walls.
Neither of them speaks.
Felix spins on his heels, not breathing, not thinking, not hearing Kade shatter behind him, not hearing anything except the pounding guilt in his head. He doesn’t want to. He needs to get out of the house, needs to get away so Kade can rebuild and move on. Kade needs to find someone better, needs to have a better life. He’s out on the street, their house behind him.
Kade doesn’t follow.
47
Felix
Present day
Felix can’t move. The ring sits heavily on his finger, glaring up at him.
Kade has been wearing the chain for months. Years. Felix had no idea the ring was attached to it, had no idea Kade had attached himself to their past for so long.
He twists the ring off his finger, disgusted at himself. How could Kade still want him, when he’d told Kade he wasn’t good enough? When he had abandoned his alpha, left him ashamed, lied to him...
Felix’s cheeks prickle; he wipes the tears off. He doesn’t belong in Kade’s bedroom, or even in this house. He should have left Meadowfall when Kade found out about the child.
He looks down at his belly, nauseous. He has no right to touch the ring. So he shoves it beneath the mattress, then shoves the chain along with it, too, except the chain slithers back onto the floor, betraying him.
He stumbles into the kitchen, out the back door, and sucks in a deep breath, trying to calm himself.
Do you know how upset he was? Kade’s mom had said. When you said it isn’t his?
Felix doesn’t know if h
e should believe her. He’s hurt Kade so much. But if she’s right... If Kade wants the child, if Kade accepts both Felix and the baby...
Felix shudders, cradling his belly. It would be such a relief if Kade wanted either Felix or the child.
Felix curls into a tight ball on the back porch, burying his face in his knees.
48
Kade
Kade steps out of the shower, blinking when the bathroom walls stare back at him.
Felix was supposed to be here ten minutes ago. He’d promised to bring fresh clothes up, and Kade doesn’t have anything but a bath towel. And a hard-on, too, but Felix isn’t here to touch it.
Kade sighs, reaching for the towel. Two minutes later, he wraps it around his waist, grabbing his sweaty clothes as he heads out.
The radio croons in his mom’s bedroom. Kade passes her door, heading downstairs. The living room is empty, and so is the kitchen. With a frown, Kade steps into the bedroom, grabbing a set of folded pants on the dresser.
Two corners of the sheets have been pulled up, exposing the quilted surface of the mattress. As though Felix was halfway through gathering the sheets to wash them, and—
The ring.
Kade swears, crossing into the room. If Felix pulled the sheets, then he must have found it. Shit. Something glints on the floor. Kade freezes, looking down.
The chain coils on the carpet like a snake. The ring’s gone.
Kade swears, his stomach plummeting. It had slipped his mind, when Felix has been snuggling in his arms the past few weeks. The ring hadn’t mattered anymore then, when Kade has been holding his bondmate so close. He hadn’t thought about worrying, when he wakes up in the mornings, burying his nose in Felix’s hair.
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