by Renna Peak
“I believe I’ve made it clear that the last thing I want from you is for you to be out of my life forever—”
“And yet, you were willing to give me up forever to take responsibility for a child that wasn’t yours. For a woman you barely knew—”
“Because you asked me to! Because it was what you said you wanted!” I can hear his exasperation now. “What must I do to convince you of that, Elle? I would have never done any of this without your blessing—if it hadn’t been what you had expressly asked me to do. And what you don’t understand about this is that Karina had proof of her affair with me. She warned me that she would ruin me if I didn’t go along with her plan. She warned me—”
“You let her blackmail you, Leo. That isn’t exactly a show of strength, you know? If you knew what she was doing, you could have at least told me. Because I did want to know that you could take responsibility for your actions. I did want to know that you were a good man who wouldn’t turn his back on someone who needed you. But fuck, Leo, I needed you, too.”
The car pulls up to the well-lit curb in front of the airport.
I turn to face Leo, but I can’t read his expression. I search his eyes, but I can’t read anything behind them. He just seems…resigned. And maybe that’s for the best.
I frown. “Thank you for the dance tonight. It was everything I thought it would be.” I blink back the tears that well in my eyes, knowing this is finally it. This is the end of our story. And somehow, I know it’s still going to be okay. I know I’m going to be fine without him, regardless of the choice I make about this pregnancy.
I grab my bag from the floor and pull the door open, not bothering to wait for the driver to open if for me.
Leo slides out after me, catching me by the elbow.
He spins me around to face him. I still can’t read his expression—I can’t tell what it is behind his eyes. But he frowns so deeply I can see the lines around his mouth. “I’ll let you go, Elle. But this will be the final time.”
I jut my chin out. “Fine. That’s what I want.”
His eyes roam over my body before he finally lifts his gaze to meet mine. “I’ll not follow you again.”
I puff my chest out, a little more indignant. “Fine.” My jaw clenches with the anger I feel beginning to rise inside of me.
“I’ll deny your child is mine.”
I glare at him. “I never asked you to say it’s yours, Leo. I never would. Unlike some people, I don’t want a damn thing from you.”
It’s not until I see the corners of his mouth twitch up into the tiniest of smiles that I realize what I’ve just said. What I’ve finally admitted to him.
Me and my goddamn mouth.
Leo
Part of me was afraid to believe it was true. Part of me was afraid to guess, to hope…
But hearing her admit it out loud, hearing her put truth to my suspicions, makes emotion swell in my chest. I step forward, cupping her face. I need to hear it again.
“You’re pregnant,” I say. “With my baby.”
For a moment, she looks as if she might still try to deny it, still try to run away. But I have no intention of letting her go, not now.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity of waiting, she gives the slightest of nods.
“Elle, I… I…” I can’t put into words what I’m feeling right now. When Andrew told me Karina was allegedly pregnant with my child, I felt only dread and shock. As if the world were closing in on me. Now… Now I feel such joy I can hardly breathe. I feel as if the world around me is bright and shining with possibility.
“This doesn’t change anything, Leo,” Elle says.
“What do you mean? This changes everything.”
She pulls out of my grip, shaking her head. “It doesn’t change what happened between us. It doesn’t change the fact that you spent the last few months with another woman—”
“If I’d known, I would have dropped everything to come to you,” I say. “You have to believe me. If I’d known…” I step back and jerk a hand through my hair. “Fuck, Elle, do you know how I made it through the past few months? By thinking of you. By telling myself that I was being the man you’d always wanted me to be. The man you deserved.” I catch her gaze with mine. “And still it was torture. But sometimes at night, as I lay awake in my empty bed, I’d allow myself to think about how it could have been different. To imagine what things might have been like if it had been you instead of Karina. If it had been your baby—our baby—and not hers. And I felt… God, Elle, for the first time in my life I found myself aching for that sort of connection with someone. With you.”
She takes a step back. “It’s too late. We’ve both made our decisions, and I—”
“And my decision is to stay by your side. I swear, Elle, nothing will come between us now. I have no intention of letting you go through this alone.”
“I’ve already told you that I don’t want or need anything from you. I can take care of this child by myself—”
“I don’t want you to take care of it by yourself. I want to be there.” I close the distance between us again. “This is my child, too. I want to be there with you every step of the way. I want to go with you to all of your doctor’s visits. Be there holding your hand when he or she is born. I want to be there for our child. And for you. Good God, I haven’t even known about it for an hour and already I… I didn’t know I could want something this much.” I take her hand in mine. “Please, Elle. Please let me be there for you.”
She closes her eyes. “This is already way too complicated…”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“But it is. With everything that’s happened between us and all this scandal around you and Karina—”
“I don’t care about any of that. I love you, Elle. I want to be with you.”
“And what happens when the next scandal hits? Or when you once again decide that your conscience lies somewhere else—”
“My conscience lies nowhere but with you,” I say. “In fact…” I lower myself to a knee in front of her.
Elle’s eyes go wide, and she tries to tug her hand out of mine. “What are you doing? Leo…”
I reach my free hand into my pocket and pull out the thing I’ve been keeping there.
“Do you know what this is?” I ask, lifting it so she can see. “It’s my grandmother’s ring.”
She’s shaking her head, trying to pull her fingers free from mine. “Leo, please…”
“No. I need you to hear this.” I look up into her eyes. “I love you, Elle. I believe I have from the very beginning, though I certainly didn’t recognize it at the time. From the moment we met, you inspired me to be something better. I’d been living my life in a daze, flitting from one distraction to the next, but when I met you it was as if everything came into focus. As if I was finally where I was supposed to be, finally seeing and feeling and experiencing my life for the first time.”
I pause, but she doesn’t say a word. She just stares at me.
“My life has changed so much so quickly,” I continue. “Back then, my greatest fear was boredom. Or lack of freedom. Now? I realize I have greater things to fear. Greater things to lose. For the first time in my life, I feel…alive. I know it sounds trite and cliché, but for the first time I truly care about things—about life, about the world around me, about someone and something outside of myself. You did that, Elle. You showed me how beautiful these things can be. When you’re with me, the world holds a light it never did before. I never want that to go away. And now that we’re having a baby together… Elle, I can’t imagine living another day of my life without you.” I tighten my grip on her fingers. “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”
She continues to stare at me, and I can see the telltale glimmer of tears in her eyes. She doesn’t say a word for the longest moment, and I can scarcely breathe.
“Elle?” I say finally.
She closes her eyes again, as if trying to hide from my question.
“Leo, you don’t have to do this.”
I frown, my chest tightening. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t have to do this just because I’m pregnant. If you want to take responsibility for the baby, then fine, I won’t force you to stay away, but—”
“You think this is just because of the baby?” I climb to my feet.
Her eyes open. “It’s pretty convenient timing if it isn’t.”
“I won’t lie,” I say. “The child is certainly part of it. But only in regards to the actual timing. I wasn’t actually planning to do it here, like this. If I’d have had my way, I would have taken you down to the Elizabetta Gardens and—”
“Don’t lie to me. You didn’t even know I was going to be here tonight. You thought I might have already met someone else back in the U.S.”
I drop my gaze down to the ring in my hand. It’s a beautiful thing—a white gold band with a sapphire so dark it’s nearly black.
“Do you know how long I’ve had this ring?” I say. “I got it from my mother when you were here before. I knew even then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.” I twist the ring in my fingers, watching it reflect the light from the nearby streetlamp. “I took it with me when I went to talk to Karina. Not for her—even if it had been my child, I never could have given her the ring I meant for you—but to remind myself of why I was doing what I was doing. Of what I could have had. What we could have had, if the universe had been a little kinder to us.”
“It’s not the universe’s fault,” she murmurs. “You chose—”
“And now I choose you. I choose to never let anyone or anything ever come between us ever again. I choose to devote the rest of my life to loving you and supporting you and giving you the happiness that you deserve. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Elle, but none would be greater than letting you walk away from me now.” I take her hand again and hold it tight. “Please, Elle, just answer me—will you be my wife?”
Elle
I don’t even hesitate with my answer. “No.”
His jaw drops, and he stares at me for a moment before his grip on my hand finally loosens, and I yank it away from him. His eyes are clouded, and his voice is cracked. “Elle, please. This is all I’ve ever wanted—”
I shake my head and fold my arms across my chest, tucking my hands under so that he can’t pull them into his again. “You’re lying to me, Leo. I know you feel bad, and I didn’t want you to find out like this. I really didn’t. I shouldn’t have come here tonight. I…I haven’t really even made a decision about what I’m going to do. But whatever I decide, I’m going to do this on my own. After tonight—”
“After tonight…? Elle…” He shakes his head, his eyes wide. “I don’t… And I’m not lying to you. What on earth could I be lying to you about? I just told you how I feel. How much you mean to me…” His shoulders are drooping—his expression has gone slack and his eyes are dull, almost distant. “I don’t understand.”
“You expect me to believe that you just happened to have an engagement ring in your pocket? Do you think I’m an idiot, Leo?”
His brow furrows as he climbs to his feet again. “I… Of course I don’t think you’re an idiot, Elle. I tried to tell you—”
“You brought Karina to the ball tonight. You had no idea I was going to be there. I saw your face—you were shocked as hell that I showed up, so I know that ring wasn’t meant for me.” I glare at him. “You were going to put on a show, weren’t you?”
His mouth drops open. “I—”
“That’s why she had to come with you tonight, even though she was in labor, right? No one is that stupid, Leo, not even her. She knew what you were planning to do tonight—she knew you were planning to propose to her. You had this evening all planned out and she tried to save it by pretending her baby wasn’t already well on its way to being born.” I motion toward his hand—the ring he had shown me is tightly clenched in his fist. “That ring was never meant for me. And we both know it.”
“Elle…”
I tilt my head, forcing him to meet my gaze. “Tell me I’m wrong, Leo.”
“You’re not…wrong. Not exactly.” He frowns. “But you’re not right, either. This ring was always meant for you. When Matthias told me he was arranging a car for you tonight, I ran to my suite to get it before I raced to the car. I only beat you there by a few seconds—I knew there was no way you would have gotten in if you had seen me. And Elle…” He reaches out and touches my face, tracing his finger along the line of my jaw. “Everything I’ve said tonight is true. Every single thing. I’m not lying to you. I want to marry you—I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”
“How much?”
His forehead creases for a moment and his hand drops to his side. “More than anything—”
“No, I mean how much were you getting for the engagement story? How much were the tabloids going to pay you to make an ass of yourself tonight?”
“Oh.” He stares down at his feet for a moment before lifting his gaze to mine again. “A million dollars. But it was only going to happen if I asked her before the baby was born—and only if it happened at the state dinner. It’s beside the point now, Elle, but you should know the money was going to go into a fund for the baby—”
“Go to hell, Leo.” I spin on my heel and walk through the automatic doors into the airport.
I don’t even get a few feet inside before Leo is behind me. He grabs me by the elbow, turning me around to face him again. “Elle—”
I lift a brow. “You paid off a few hundred thousand dollars of my student loans. And a few hundred thousand more for my mortgage. I imagine I can get at least a million or so for my story, don’t you? And unlike your beloved Karina, my paternity test will show the tabloids exactly who the father of my child is. That should make my story even more valuable, shouldn’t it, Your Highness?” I fold my arms across my chest. “Don’t worry, Leo. I’ll pay you back every single penny you’ve spent on me—including what you paid for those stupid dresses and everything else—before I put the rest of the money into a fund for my baby.”
He blinks at me a few times. “Elle… Our baby.”
I shake my head. “No, Leo. My baby. If I even let it go that far.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Tears well in my eyes, and I blink them back. My voice is hoarse and I can barely get my words out. “How the hell am I supposed to bring a child into the world knowing it has a father like you?”
He winces as though my words themselves have slapped him and my stomach twists with guilt, seeing the pain register on his face.
“Elle…” His chin is almost trembling. “We should go somewhere and talk. Somewhere less public.”
“No, Leo. You just said you were willing to let me go. You said you wouldn’t be following me this time. So prove to me you aren’t a liar.”
I spin on my heel again, but he catches me by the wrist and pulls me back to face him.
“I also said that I choose you. That I’m never going to let anything come between us again.” He tilts his head, forcing my gaze to meet his. “Tell me, Elle, how I might come away from this without looking like a liar?”
“You did this to yourself, Leo. Don’t blame me—”
“Tell me you don’t love me.”
My brow furrows and my mouth drops open. “What?”
He nods, staring into my eyes. “Tell me you don’t love me. Say the words. Look into my eyes and say you don’t love me, Elle.”
I lift my chin—we’re so close our foreheads are almost touching. I open my mouth to say it. Part of me wants to say it, even though none of me actually believes it. “I—don’t.”
“Finish it, Elle. You have to say all of it—the whole sentence while you look into my eyes.” He pauses for another moment. “Say you don’t love me.”
My jaw clenches and my gaze narrows. “I don’t…love.” I almost growl in exasperation. “This has nothing to do with anything, Leo. I don
’t have to say anything. I don’t owe you anything. And you need to let me go.” I try to twist my wrist out of his grasp, but his hold only tightens.
“Not until I hear you say it. If you can say it, I’ll let you go, Elle.”
I say nothing. I drop my arm and stop fighting him. I only stare at him, challenging him with my gaze.
He stares back at me, unblinking. “Say it.”
I shake my head, finally breaking our eye contact. “This is a huge, huge mistake, Leo. All of it…” I look back into his eyes. “I don’t want to be your pity wife. I don’t want you to look at me in a few months when I’m as big as a house and have you wonder what the hell you were thinking. I don’t want you resenting me for trapping you into a marriage you never wanted. I don’t want you hating me because I made you change your ways. I—”
His lips cover mine and I have no choice but to stop speaking. After a moment, he releases my wrist, sliding his arms around my waist. My hands find his chest and our kiss deepens as I surrender to him.
He pulls away from me suddenly, tipping his forehead against mine. “I love you.”
I close my eyes at his words. I pause for a moment, trying to figure out what the tears that fill my eyes again mean this time. I wait for the heavy aching to fill my chest again, but it doesn’t. There’s something warm in my chest this time. Something almost too big to contain.
I open my eyes, searching his for a moment. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but part of me hopes I can see if this is a lie. Part of me almost wishes that I’ll see he’s playing me. But I think I can see the same warm something inside of him that I feel inside of me.
I can’t quite smile. Not yet. “I love you, too.”
“Will you marry me?”
I don’t know what happens, exactly, but I nod, my forehead still tipped against his.
He grins. “Is that a yes?”
I have no idea if this is the right thing to do in the long run. If I’m going to regret my answer for the rest of my days. But it seems like the right thing, at least at this moment. My voice drops to something barely above a whisper.