by Ellis, Tara
I ignored him and kept walking back to the run down apartment complex I’d just caught Rick creeping out of. I shook my head in anger. How dare he be fucking with some trash ass section 8 ass bitch, I thought looking around at my surroundings. His side piece was obviously looking for a come up messing with my husband and if he’d tricked off any of our money, the beat down they received tonight was just an appetizer.
I spotted my right shoe by the gate of the complex but the left one was no where to be found. I cursed under my breath as I picked the shoe up. Those were one of my favorite pairs of shoes and I knew it would be hard to find another pair since I’d bought them so long ago.
“Why was you fighting Kia, anyway?” The stranger was suddenly standing behind me.
I rolled my eyes. It figures, she’d be named after a cheap ass car, I thought.
“Lemme guess, she was fucking with ya’ man,” he said as he bent down and picked up my car keys.
I nodded and opened my hand for him to drop my keys into my waiting palm.
“You gonna be able to drive home?” He asked.
I nodded again and he gave me the keys. I stole one more look at this gorgeous man before thanking him and walking back to my car. Once I got inside of the car, I broke down crying again.
How could this be happening to me? How could Rick do this to me? I’d thought he’d changed since college. But I was stupid. So very stupid. I trusted this man with everything in me and this was how he repaid my trust. I would have never thought he was cheating on me. And to think, he was cheating with that! She wasn’t even cute. She was the type of chick, you’d see in the supermarket and wouldn’t be able to describe five minutes later because she was just that basic. I clicked my IPOD on some broken hearted man bashing song as I drove the 45 minutes back to my side of town. I prayed that Rick had the good sense not to come home tonight.
When I pulled into my driveway, Rick’s white BMW was still missing so he was probably staying with his side chick tonight. It didn’t matter because I didn’t want to see him anyway. I pulled my car into the garage and entered my massive home. My eyes had finally dried by the time I stepped my bare feet onto the mahogany hard wood floors of my foyer. We’d barely been in the house a year and I wondered if all the memories we created here were a lie. I shut the door behind me and walked the long foyer. The house I just had to have now seemed too big, now that I’d probably be living here alone. The five bedroom 4,684 square foot home was in a private gated community in a quiet suburb of Dallas. I’d fallen in love with the home as soon as I saw it and seeing how much I loved it, Rick agreed on purchasing it. But now, walking through it, I hated everything about it.
How long had he been messing around with this chick? How could I have been so blind to the many signs that were slapping me upside my head? I thought he’d changed, I thought he’d grown, I thought we’d grown as a couple. I thought he really loved me and would never do me like this again. I felt so played.
I walked into the master bathroom, the ivory marble was cold underneath my feet and turned the shower on to the hottest I could stand. I stripped down and stared at my bare body in the full length mirror I’d insisted on having installed on the opposite end of the oval Roman tub. A smile formed in the corners of my face as I stared at my damn near perfect body. At twenty eight years of age, I was in the best shape of my life. My breasts were a full C cup and were perky with or without my Victoria Secret push up bra. My waist to hip ratio was crazy thanks in part to my mother’s great genes, but mainly to a renowned plastic surgeon in South Beach. Though, I’d take that secret to the grave.
Rick is a gotdamn fool, I thought as I stepped inside of the shower. I’d been faithful to him since the day I met him, although, I got tons of offers on a daily basis. I’d been so down for him and this was the thanks I got.
I stood under the pulsating shower head forcing myself not to shed another tear behind the man I’d called my husband. Of course, I lost that battle. Was I not pretty enough? Sexy enough? What was so wrong with me that Rick felt he had to step outside of our marriage? I felt so broken.
After staying in the shower for more than fifteen minutes, I finally exited the bathroom and laid in my king sized poster bed. I knew sleep wouldn’t find me easily tonight so I took two sleeping pills. When I closed my eyes the face of the dreadlocked stranger, I met tonight, popped into my head. I shook my head hoping that would shake his face from my memory. What was wrong with me? I didn’t even like dudes with dreads. Besides, I would never see him again.
Under any other circumstance, I would have never second guessed anything about Rick, but I’d let Kesha make me doubt him. I wasn’t like her or Lake, I’d picked a good man. Or so I’d thought all these years.
Rick had never given me a reason to think he was being unfaithful. But I couldn’t deny the feeling in the pit of my stomach that was telling me something wasn’t right. We were growing distant but I thought it had something to do with the miscarriage. I knew he was hurt about it, and I assumed he was throwing himself into his work to deal with that pain.
It hurt more than anything to admit my marriage was a failure. Everyone expected us to make it. Everyone had such high expectations for our union. On the outside we looked like the ideal couple; somewhat of a power couple to our relatives. Everyone had high hopes for Charlie and Rick. But at this very moment, none of that mattered anymore. Here we were just two years in, and he was already stepping out on me.
I thought back to the neighborhood and the chick I’d caught Rick with and couldn’t help but shake my head. For years, Rick had acted like he was so much better than the people who called that part of town, home. He’d turned his nose up and refused to even drive through the hood. I laughed at the irony of him creeping with a hoodrat. What would his mother, Miss Marie, think of that?
If there had ever been a mother in law from hell, Miss Marie was it. She hated me from the moment Rick introduced us. I was going to college full time while attending cosmetology school on the weekends. Still, I wasn’t what she envisioned for a daughter in law. I didn’t have the long list of degrees that she and her husband had and multiple degrees were a requirement for dating any son of hers. I was working toward a bachelor’s degree, but to her, that wasn’t shit. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget the face she made when I told her I was a hairstylist, working to obtain my own salon. She didn’t hear that I was an aspiring business owner, all she heard was I was a hairstylist. No doctor son of hers was going to marry a mere hairstylist, but he did, and now it was over. I was no longer going to be Mrs. Doctor Rick Johnson. I assumed Miss Marie would be elated to hear that bit of news.
I laid in bed staring at the spinning ceiling fan until I couldn’t take it anymore. I jumped out of bed and walked into Rick’s closet. The closet was huge, granted, not as large as mine. I looked around at how meticulous Rick’s organizational habits were. Each suit was arranged by season, and color. All of his polo shirts, t-shirts, and even undershirts were hung according to sleeve length. My eyes darted from one side of the closet to the next, trying to decide which side I would start on. Rage fueled my insanity as I grabbed as many of his expensive Italian suits that I could hold. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do with them, I just wanted them destroyed. By the time my adrenaline had worn out, 75% of his closet had been cleaned out and dumped in the foyer. I walked back into the foyer and stared at the heap of clothes, ties, and designer shoes. I didn’t know what I was going to do with them. I wanted to set them on fire but was afraid that the house would catch fire with the clothes, so I walked into the laundry room and grabbed a gallon of bleach. When I returned to the foyer I emptied the entire gallon on the pile of clothes making sure every piece got a least a taste of the bleach.
When that was done, I only felt slightly better but at least the sleeping pills were finally taking effect. I set the house alarm and headed to bed where sleep thankfully and finally found me.
I was awakened by Rick lightly sha
king me. It took me a full two minutes to register what all went down last night. As soon as the memory surfaced it felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.
“Charlie, before you say anything, let me explain,” He said. He was standing over the bed staring at me. I searched his eyes for the man I once knew so well.
My throat was dry and my mouth tasted stale. I was so tired and barely had the energy to keep my eyes open but knew if Rick didn’t get out of my face soon I would jump on him in attempt to claw his eyes from his face. The light shining in from my drapes told me it was early morning. I couldn’t help but wonder where he’d spent the night.
He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. The same jeans he had on last night. When he was with her. That thought made rage resurface and trickle through my veins.
“I made a mistake,” He finally said. He spoke slowly. Every now and then he’d allow his eyes to make contact with mine. “I’m so sorry, Charlie.”
I steadied my breath and looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was 9am, I had to be at the salon in fifteen minutes. I forced myself out of bed, although every muscle in my body was screaming for me to do otherwise. I pushed past Rick and headed into the bathroom.
“Charlie, I need you to hear me out,” Rick said as he followed me into the bathroom. Rick was four years older than me but throughout our entire relationship he acted as if he had to talk to me like I was a child. It’s funny how it never bothered me as much as it did right now.
After I managed to ignore him while brushing my teeth, I walked into my closet to get dressed for the day. I looked around at all of the clothes and shoes couldn’t have cared less what I was going to wear. As I stood in the closet, I wondered what crossed Rick’s mind as he passed his ruined clothing in the foyer. Good thing he had the good sense not to mention it.
“Charlie! Are you going to talk to me?” His voice was desperate now and I hated how bad I wanted him to get on one knee and beg for my forgiveness. I wanted him to take me in his arms and promise me he would never ever hurt me like this again. But I knew if he attempted to touch me, I would scream and try to claw my way out of his arms, although at this very moment, it was all I really wanted.
I looked up at him and as soon as my eyes met his, I was reminded why I always saw my forever when I looked into his eyes. But now, all I saw was his betrayal. Now, all I saw was him with her; his slut. “Look, Rick. I think it would be best if you just went to your parents’ house or something cause you can’t stay here.” I tried to keep my voice steady but I was breaking down inside with each word I spoke.
“Charlie, what are you talking about? It doesn’t have to be this way.”
I wanted to hit him, slap him, throw something at him. Instead, I just stood there and told myself to remain calm, looking at the man who had the nerve to cheat on me. Rick was no longer the best looking man, age hadn’t been kind to his looks, he couldn’t have his pick of women.
He ran his hand across his clean shaved head, something he always did when he was nervous or frustrated. “Can we just talk about this calmly?”
“Rick, just shut up!” I spat. I yanked a neon yellow peplum shirt from the hanger and glared at him. “I may have been stupid for marrying your ass but I ain’t stupid enough to stay in this marriage another day and be played for a fool.”
He had the gall to sigh like I was getting on his nerves. He ran his hand down his clean shaven face. “Just calm down, baby and listen to me.”
I shook my head and laughed even though nothing about this situation was funny. I took a pair of distressed boyfriend dress from their hanger and walked past Rick back into the bathroom. I was so mad, I was shaking. Why wouldn’t he just leave? I couldn’t stand to be in the same house with him. Not after what he’d done to me, to us, to our marriage.
As if he could read my mind he said, “Charlie, I’m not going anywhere. This is my house too. I pay the bills around here just like you do so you ain’t gonna just put me out.”
My shirt was halfway over my head by the time he finished his sentence and I spun around to face him with one arm in the shirt and one arm halfway through. “Are you serious? You’re really going to make it hard for me like I didn’t just catch you with some hoe last night?”
He had the audacity to nod his bald head at me.
I slowly finished putting my shirt on and then I lunged at him. I was punching, scratching, and screaming as hard as I could. But unlike last night, this time he was able to grab both of my arms and place them over my head. He tossed me on top of the bed where we once made so much love and held me there until it was obvious I couldn’t kick or punch anymore. I sighed in frustration because his strength doubled my own and there was nothing I could do but pant and cry in anger.
“I hate you!” I looked into the eyes of the man I swore my forever to and couldn’t believe he’d brought this much pain to my heart.
“Charlie, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I broke into a flood of tears that not even a levy would be able to stop. This was real. This was really happening, and there was nothing I could do to make this any less real, or hurt any less.
Rick attempted to hold my trembling body but I kicked him off of me and screamed for him to leave me the fuck alone. He ran his hands over his chocolate bald head one last time before he walked into his closet, grabbed a few things then walked out of the house.
Kesha
I tossed and turned for four nights in a row expecting Darnel to come in the middle of the night and follow through on his threat but by the fifth night, my nerves had settled and I realized he knew staying away from me was the best thing for him. Once the insomnia wore off, the loneliness crept in. But there was not enough loneliness in the world to make me miss Darnel.
I finished my shift at the drugstore and rushed outside to my car. Once I was in my car I took my white pharmacy coat off and threw it in the backseat. I dug in my cream Louis Vuitton Brea bag for my cell phone that had been going off all day. I quickly dialed Charlie’s number when I saw I had six missed calls from her.
“Charlie! What’s going on?”
She sniffled on the other line and my heart sank to the bottom of my feet when she said, “You were right. Rick is cheating on me.”
It took me a second to grasp what she’d said. I was right? I felt horrible because even though I’d told her some shit I’d heard, I hadn’t in a million years thought he was actually doing anything wrong.
She laughed but the laugh was bitter. “Yep! I saw the dog ass nigga with my own eyes!”
I gasped. “What do you mean, Charlie?”
“I followed his lying ass to some ghetto ass apartments,” she paused and sniffled. I could tell it was taking everything out of her not to burst into tears. “I mean, the bitch didn’t look like shit, Kesha,” her voice dropped. “She was standing there with my man like…” Charlie stopped like she couldn’t think of a word to describe it. “And when I saw them together, I just lost it. I like, blacked out and some dude was pulling me off them.”
I was glad that I hadn’t started driving out of the CVS parking lot, otherwise, I would have ran into someone’s car. “Pulling you off them?”
“Kesha, girl, I jumped on both of their asses. I don’t know how that even happened. I just wanted to see blood. I didn’t care whose it was.”
All I could do was shake my head. What was Rick thinking? That was the problem, his ass wasn’t thinking. He had everything and here he was throwing it out the window like it was nothing. Niggas! I swear. All I could do was shake my head and wish I could have found the words to comfort Charlie.
“Where is he at now?” I asked.
“Girl, who knows. He just left with a few of his things. I hope he never brings his ass back.”
I knew she didn’t mean that. I mean, this was Charlie and Rick. They’d been together for as long as I’d known Charlie. I couldn’t even imagine them not being together. “Are you going to work today?” I wanted to change
the subject.
“Yeah, I’m about to head out today even though I don’t know how I’m gonna be in the salon all day when my life is falling apart.”
“I’m so sorry this happened, Charlie.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Me and Lake will be over there tonight to keep you company.”
She paused and I knew she was trying to think of a way to keep us from coming over but I’d been through my share of breakups and each and every time I needed my girls by my side so there was no way I was going to let her talk me out of it.
She finally sighed and said, “Ok.”
“Alright, girl. And if you need anything today, just call me.”
“Thanks, Kesha.” She hung up and it took me awhile to even digest our conversation. Things were getting so crazy. First, Darnel put his hands on me, Lake had her baby, and now Rick had went out and lost his got-damn mind, cheating on Charlie. The summer was just starting and I could already tell none of our lives would be the same come fall.
I put my Audi A7 in reverse and headed home. I stopped by the Burger King up the street from my condo. After the news I’d just gotten from Charlie, I had to have something greasy and fattening.
After specifically telling them no mustard, add mayo, my damn burger still had nasty ass mustard on it. There was no way I was going to wait in that drive thru line again so I parked my car and headed inside of the fast food restaurant.
I slapped the burger on the counter, “I said no mustard.”
The teenage cashier quickly apologized and picked up the burger. “I’ll have a new one right out.”
“Well, well, well. I sure hope they get it right this time,” a voice behind me said.
I turned around and was face to face with Officer Moore. He was in uniform but for some reason, he looked more handsome right now than he did in my condo that night. I smiled at him and said, “Was I that mean?”
He laughed and exposed a perfect set of pearly, straight, white teeth. “No, I’m just messing with you.”