by Heather Long
“That part was just fun,” Rachel admitted, and I groaned and flopped on my back.
“You suck.”
“Not as much as you, I’d bet.”
I rolled over and threw the pillow, but she already had her arms up to block it. Thankfully, we were both laughing.
“Hey,” she said. “Seriously…the thing with Mason’s. You’ve got ethics. You don’t want to take their scholarship and run, even if Marsha’s giving you that option. You love the job…because it gave you independence. I get that. My crappy job is crappy, but I really love having my own paycheck, even if it’s a pittance.”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “And I’m whining about the fact that she’s letting me off the hook and that realistically, if I wanted to just blow it off, I could supplement with the delivery. I have money in savings, and it’s not like Archie’s letting me pay any of my bills.”
“Letting you?”
I shook my head. “Let me put it this way, he’s paid everything. Like months in advance. The rent, the electric, the water. Everything.”
“Wow,” Rachel said before she abandoned the chair to flop on the bed next to me. “Sounds like a horrible problem to have. Rich Boy at your beck and call…”
“Rach…”
“I’m giving you shit,” she promised, bumping my hip. “You don’t want him taking care of everything.”
“I don’t want him to feel like he has to,” I corrected. “I know he wants to, because Archie is a fixer—and this is getting off topic. We talk about my problems all the time. I want to talk about yours.”
“Well, the topic was Mason’s, not my problems,” she said with a laugh. “What makes you think I have problems, anyway?”
Too light. Too easy. Brush it off.
“And I like helping with yours. I meant it when I said I was going to be your friend,” she reminded me.
“Friendship isn’t a one-way street.” I rolled onto my side and propped my head on my hand and stared at her. “You focus on me a lot, and I adore you for it. You make me feel good about some really crappy stuff, and you’ve been there for some even crappier stuff. I haven’t been the best of friends, but that’s changing. I want to be your friend too.”
“You are my friend.” With a sigh, she pushed up and moved to sit against her headboard. That put us at opposite ends of the bed. Distance.
Yep, just like me.
It would be almost funny if it didn’t make my heart hurt. I did that, too. And next she’d…
“The thing with Mason’s, before we get too distracted,” Rachel said. “Marsha cares about you, and you’re not the one asking for the out. She’s offering it to you. Just like Rich Boy wants to fix things for you and I want to be there for you. You’re not used to people doing things for you, even if those four idiots have been for years.”
“It’s not the same—then versus now. And at the end of the day, I’m still their friend, too. I help them. At least I hope I do.” Yeah, I did. I shook off that thought. “And you’re not distracting me. Something’s been bugging you since before Christmas. You’re usually acerbic, but you’ve been a little more razor sharp since going to Ohio.”
She thumped her head back against the wood of her bed frame.
“And you haven’t said anything about Skylar other than it didn’t work out.”
“Well, it didn’t. We wanted different things.” A faint smile pulled at her mouth. “I’m not head over heels for her, and she definitely wasn’t for me. This isn’t apples to apples, Frankie. Skylar and I had fun. Then we weren’t having fun.”
Pursing my lips, I considered her, then sat up and crisscrossed my legs as I faced her. “Okay, if it was that simple, then what was eating you?”
“Well, no one, that would be why I was grumpy.” Not even a flicker of expression change.
“Then hang out with Sally Thumb and her four sisters,” I retaliated.
Rachel laughed out loud and clapped her hands. “Damn, you didn’t even blush. Those boys are doing their job.”
I rolled my eyes and then glared at her. “Don’t start.”
“Hey, if you’re going to worry about my orgasms, then why shouldn’t I worry about yours?”
“Because you started it with your tongue advice, so I’m just returning the favor.”
Head cocked, she considered the argument. “I’ll give you that one. Fine…you don’t have to worry about me or Sally Thumb.” She reached over and tugged the drawer next to her bed. “I have an assortment of gadgets for my pleasure.”
An assortment was right. Holy crap.
“Wait…” I half-crawled over there and stared down at the dildo and then at her. “I thought you said you didn’t like dick.”
“I don’t like it anywhere near as much as you do,” she said with a smirk. “And that one is free of other irritating attachments, like a personality or bossiness. It does what I want, when I want, how I want.”
I burst out laughing.
I didn’t even have words for it as Rachel gestured from one device to the other. “I pretty much have all my options covered. See…” She held out one that when she turned it on, it made a little waving motion. “Good tongue action.”
Hands over my face, I cracked the fuck up. There was no way to hold onto that seriously. “How do you have so many?”
“The internet is a pathway to many things some would consider unnatural. Or at least too kinky. Besides, I like experimenting. Can’t know what you like if you don’t try.” She waved her wiggling tongue vibrator at me, and I made a face. “And it’s not that many. Some don’t work like they used to, so I probably should clean it all out. Maybe order some new ones. How many do you have?”
I just stared at her.
“Frankie.” Her mouth dropped open. “Seriously?”
I lifted my shoulders. “When was I going to go buy one?”
“You could have ordered one.”
I gave her a look.
“One, that meant spending money. I never spend money if I can help it.” I could get by on a little, and I socked everything into savings. Turned out, I was right to do that, even if I had the guys right there like a safety net trying to make my landing as soft and bouncy as they could.
Yeah, okay, don’t think about bouncy and the boys while looking at Rachel’s sex toys.
Just…don’t.
“And now I’m guessing you think you don’t need them,” Rachel said as she put her toys back into the drawer. “I suppose with four of them, one of them is probably always ready. Then again, they all talk too, and sometimes a girl just has to scratch the itch and get back to it.”
Scratch the lack of blushing from earlier. My face was on fire.
“And law of averages suggests that among that many partners, at least one of them has to have a kink. I mean, having four partners is a kink all its own.” Rachel tapped her lower lip. “Even if they’re not, sooner or later, multiples are gonna happen at some point. So in that case, sex toys might help ease you into it.”
Yep and on that note, I rolled forward to bury my face against the pillow. How did she do this to me? I was talking to her about her, and now we were talking about my sex life.
“Frankie Curtis, you bad girl! You’ve already double dipped, haven’t you?”
I peered at her. “You want to know that, you gotta give me a truth for a truth.”
She snorted. “I should never have sent you those books.”
“But you did, and I read them, and I loved them. So, truth for truth.”
“Fine, what do you want to know?” Her expression locked down some and her eyes tightened, as if anticipating how bad this whole conversation was going to go. I didn’t want her to dread it. I mean, I got protecting myself.
“If you don’t trust me enough to talk to me about whatever it is, I won’t keep pressing.” I could offer that much. “Right now. But you were right when you said I needed a friend and you decided you were going to be my friend. That meant a lot to me. More than I re
alized then. But I’m right when I say friendship is a two-way street, and I’m going to be your friend, too. That means all the nitty gritty and irritating stuff, like talking about our feelings and listening to each other bitch about everything—boys, girls, parents, college, school—and whether Avery should choose Aodhan or Atticus. I mean it. Everything.”
Rachel snorted. “In what world does she choose Aodhan over Atticus? Please.” It was an out I was offering her and she toyed with it, but the reticence in her expression softened some. “And you’re right, a truth for a truth. You are my friend. Even if you don’t think you are. You give me something to fight for. You accept me for exactly who I am and don’t expect me to change.”
“You might be the whole damn cactus, Rachel Manning. But you’re my cactus, and I’m keeping you.”
She grinned and turned her head away as she shifted as though needing to get in a more comfortable position. I didn’t miss how she wiped at her eyes, however. Clearing her throat, she faced me once more and then said, “After the Halloween party and everything went down, Skylar wouldn’t let go of asking me about you. And she decided I was spending too much time with you, and that’s why we broke up.” A lift of her shoulders tried to make light of something that wasn’t. “I’m not going to apologize that you’re my favorite, just like I’m not going to turn my back on you because my girlfriend decides that you’re competition.”
I winced. “Rach…”
“Nope,” she said. “I liked Skylar. A lot. We were good, but if she can’t accept my friendships, then we’re not that good. Even those four idiot boys of yours are okay with it. Or at least working on being okay with it. I get it. I see it. I might almost like them, but I’ll deny it to my grave if you tell them.”
“Your secret is safe with me, and for what it’s worth…I’m sorry. Would it help if I talked to her?”
“Oh fuck no,” Rachel said. “The thing is…once we broke up, I really didn’t miss her all that much. It’s just like before, I miss the sex but…” She motioned to her drawer. “I’m not going to die when I can get myself off.” A sigh escaped her. “Just sometimes it would be nice…to be able to trust it, you know?”
“I do and I don’t,” I told her, but I reached over to squeeze her hand. “I’m the worst at dating advice. Even if I’m getting a crash course in it from the guys right now. I mean, apparently, they were trying to date me and I didn’t notice. Probably not the best one to be able to say I get it all the way. But…I really love that they are there for me, and I know they’ll be there tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.”
I could trust it.
I did trust it.
If everything the last few months had thrown at me proved anything, it proved that.
She squeezed my hand. “So, my turn now?”
After blowing out a breath, I said, “Yep, your turn. What do you want to know?”
“So many questions…” Rachel looked thoughtful. “One of those boys has to have a kink…one he’s shared with you and you like. So that’s what I want to know, which one of them?”
“Rach,” I said with a wince. “That’s kind of personal.”
“I won’t tell them I know,” she promised. “I’m a vault. Besides, you said a truth for a truth, and I bared my bruised and lonely soul.”
Okay, at that, I rolled my eyes. But then again, she did have a point. Huffing out a breath, I groaned and squinted one eye closed. Technically, I thought we were all a little kinky, depending on how you defined it. “How about I tell you the kink but not who?”
“That is an acceptable trade-off,” she said magnanimously. “For now.”
Drumming my fingers against my thighs, I leaned toward one of Coop’s kinks. Probably the safest one to mention. Ian loved to restrain me, and I had to admit, I loved it, too. Never thought I’d be into that, but we needed more time to figure that out for ourselves.
“I’m waiting,” Rachel said. “I’d offer you a shot, but my parents aren’t thrilled when I drink.”
“Yeah, and I still have to drive.”
“I guarantee you that there are four guys who are more than willing to come and get you and your car, even if I don’t mind you crashing here. That said, time’s up, Curtis. Spit. It. Out.”
“One of the guys really gets off on watching.”
She squinted at me, head tilted. “You know that makes sense and isn’t even that much of a kink.”
“Rachel.”
“Well,” she said. “It’s not. I mean, there are four of them. Unless you guys are punching a clock somewhere, one of them is going to have to see you with the others…”
“You’re killing me.”
She grinned. “Not yet, but our next girls’ night, we’re going to Kink on the Hill.”
“We’re doing what now?”
“Oh, my sweet summer child,” Rachel said, reaching over to put her hand on my leg. “There is a lot of kink out there, and I’m going to make sure you know what all of it is. That’s my duty as your friend.”
“And you really want to know which of them is into what.”
“Well…yes, but I’m also curious about what you’re into and what you’ve gotten them to explore for you…”
Yep, this was how I died.
From embarrassment.
“Truth for a truth,” I reminded her.
“Ask.”
Grasping my courage, I waded in. “Are you really letting your feelings for me get in the way of a real relationship for you?”
It was what worried me. Not because I didn’t value her friendship. I don’t think I could have handled everything the last few months without her and the guys. Especially when there were times it was hard to talk to the guys.
But I needed to not be the reason she was not happy.
“I like you,” she admitted slowly. “I freely admit…if there was even the remotest chance you were interested in me, I’d give those four idiots a run for their money. And I’d win. Because I’m really good.”
I bit my lip to suppress the laugh that wanted out so badly. Because this wasn’t funny.
“But you’re not, and I’m okay with that. Am I comparing other girls to you?” She gave a little shrug. “Maybe I am now, but I think that’s a damn good standard.”
I winced.
“Girl, you—you’re awesome. And I am not the mushy sort, but this friendship thing? It’s working for me.”
“It’s working for me, too.”
“Then don’t worry about it. You’re not letting those boys push me away, and I’m not letting whoever I date do that to you. They accept you, or there’s the door, don’t let it hit them in the ass on the way out.”
“I just want you to be happy, Rach.”
“And I love you for it,” she told me. “But I’m really okay. Thank you for worrying.”
“Will you tell me if you’re ever not?”
“I promise.” She held up her pinky like we were five, and I hooked mine with hers. “You tell me when you’re not.”
“I have,” I reminded her. So it was an easy promise to make.
“Excellent,” she said as we sealed it with a pinky squeeze. Flopping back against the pillows, she eyed me with a sudden wicked grin. “What’s your kink, Frankie? What is something you’ve figured out that you like?”
Yep. Saw that one coming.
But a truth for a truth, right?
Chapter Three
What’s Your Game?
Fifteen minutes into the orientation, and I had to wonder how I got into this program. The guy on the stage was talking about leadership and how it was a choice. One you had to make every single day. Instead of an auditorium setting, we were seated at these oversized round tables. Instead of being at a business, we were at a hotel in a really bland, beige colored room with a geometric patterned carpet that gave me a headache if I looked at it too closely.
There were about thirty altogether in the program. It didn’t seem a huge number, but I really did
n’t look like most of the people here. I’d dressed nice enough, I supposed, but there were a lot of kids here in actual suits, like the kind you wore to go into an office daily. Of those not in suits, they were still in slacks, or skirts and looking put together.
I’d worn jeans. Probably not my best choice, but the paperwork said this was orientation. A day to spend on leadership skills and workshops. Who wore a suit to a workshop? My shirt was nice, and I’d paired it with a fun patterned vest. I looked kind of sassy.
At least, if Archie’s reaction this morning had been any indication. I’d had to talk him out of undressing me, because they had to get to school and I had to go to orientation. Talk about strange. Ian left on his bike, and Coop rode with Jake, while Archie took his own car. And I wasn’t leaving with any of them. It was just weird.
Not that I minded the very sound and thorough kisses I got from each of them. Those had my toes curling, and thankfully, the thirty-minute drive to the hotel where they were hosting the orientation had given me time to get my hormones under control.
Barely.
Ten minutes into the presentation, a girl slid into the seat next to mine. I’d chosen one of the tables near the side and to the back. Mostly because I didn’t know anyone, and while there were six tables, they weren’t all full. Mine was me, a guy with glasses and a friendly enough smile who’d just nodded to me when he sat down, and now the newcomer. Weirdly, I didn’t mind the fact that all these people were strangers, but I was glad the chick who decided to pick my table had dressed in jeans, too.
Solidarity.
“Hey,” she whispered as she hurriedly unpacked a spiral bound notebook and a bottle of water. I still had my coffee from the drive-thru this morning. I’d cheated and gotten two. One I pretty much shot-gunned on the way here, and the second I’d been sipping to keep up my strength. Because based on the last ten minutes, I was going to need it.
Interesting material or not, our presenter was dull as dirt.
“Hey,” I answered, barely moving my lips. I’d mastered the talk without looking like you’re talking trick a long time ago. Largely because Coop could be annoying if I ignored him too long when he wanted to tell me something in class, even if we weren’t supposed to be talking.