by Heather Long
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I’d been looking for.
“I am not a slave, at least not by any measure I’ve seen in the reading, but I don’t mind being submissive. It’s actually kind of nice.”
That sent a wholly decadent sensation up my spine, and at the same time, I relaxed. She was inviting me to share this, to understand her better, and I’d be able to take care of her better. That really was all I wanted. “If you ever think that changes…”
“I’ll tell you, but you’re not submissive at all, are you?”
“No.” I could admit that. “But I think you could talk Coop into it for you if you need it.” Jake and Archie probably not, but Coop had the kind of flexibility with her that all of us lacked.
She laughed. “Not a conversation I’m ready to have with him yet.”
Yet.
Good. Maybe not yet, but possibly in the future. “And I’ll be honest, all of you are a little on the dominant side with me.”
Not a little, but again, we could leave it there. “Go on down the list, Angel.”
“Bisexual?” she read off her screen.
“If you were, you’d make Rachel’s day,” I told her. “And definitely no for me.”
“Is that why you don’t want the other guys there?” She’d never asked me that directly. “I mean, you were there when Archie and I had sex that morning.”
“Kind of hard to miss, Angel, I was sleeping less than a foot away.” Not that it hadn’t intrigued me, but there’d also been a thread of violence weaving through me and I’d wanted to rip his hands off of her. Not conducive to what we were all building, so better to avoid those situations. “And it’s not being hetero that makes me not want to share you with the guys at the same time.”
I had to consider this, how to phrase it.
“I like the control,” I reminded her. “When I’m with you, I want to own every single inch of you. I want to own your pleasure. I want to be the only one touching you and making you feel things.”
She gave a little shudder, and I squeezed her thigh. When she covered my hand with hers, I relaxed. I knew how I sounded.
“That said, I know you need and love them, too. They give you so much, and I’d never deny you that. So I can share your time and I can share your love, but some things I want just with you. At least…” I could concede this much. “At least right now.”
“I love you,” she whispered as she rubbed the back of my hand, and I smiled.
“Love you, too. Keep reading.”
She laughed, and some of the tension cording her thigh muscle seemed to ease.
“That also answers whether we have multiples. I’m okay with it, but you’re not,” she told me, and there was no censure in her voice. “The next page is this really long list, so if I don’t know what it is, I’m just going to say no for now.”
“That’s fair.” And she should really know. “I don’t know all of it either, Angel. I meant it when I said I’d only gone to a couple of classes and they were a lot like tonight. Demonstrations where they talked to us about what they were doing and why and giving us a feel for what’s possible.”
“I thought the ropes were gorgeous,” she admitted.
“So did I.” I cut her a look. “And I want to learn how to do that to you. To put art on you.”
“Okay.”
Just like that. I grinned. “It could take us time to get that good.”
“Kind of like singing, right?” Was that a note of teasing? “I trust you with that, I think I can trust you with this.”
And if that wasn’t a punch in the feels, I didn’t know what was. My heart fisted so tight, I almost forgot how to breathe.
It took a good fifteen minutes to go through them. Anal, blindfolds, biting, breast bondage, and soft bondage were all yeses. Ropes and silk ties were a definite yes. Chains and leather cuffs, she was a little iffy about. Though, she had liked my belt.
Good to know.
No branding or abrasions. Caning was right out. Breath play worried me, but she said she’d trust me with it. So for now, that was a no. She didn’t care if I chose her clothing, depending on what we were doing. Like if it was for our date or our play, not necessarily everything else.
That was another thing, this was play reserved for us and privacy. I was definitely comfortable with that. I would never put her on the spot in public. Though…she didn’t mind if I wanted to keep a swats counter. The fact that she’d grinned when she said that also told me that impact play was on the table.
Again, we would be careful. Period. Spanking her was one thing. I’d seen enough bruises on her to last me a lifetime.
Anything that sounded like actual torture or a medical exam was just an instant no. Exhibitionism—not shockingly, Frankie had no problem with it in front of the other guys. The surprise and hint of wonder in her voice made me grin. “So if I told you I wanted you to sit naked with us one night while we played video games, you’d be okay with it?”
“I don’t think you guys would get much playing done,” she pointed out, but the corner of her mouth curved higher. “But I’m totally game to try it.”
Laughter swelled up through me. We were almost home, but there were still more things on the list. The sheer volume of things other people found sexually stimulating astounded and intrigued me. Fisting was right out for both of us. Fire play sounded cool, but that would take me time to learn and to build confidence and skill before I brought anything like it near her skin.
The same with wax and electric. We might be in classes for years, and wasn’t that a heady thought? Orders and control, already established. Face slapping was a firm hell no. Flogging had her biting her lip. Guess I’d need to study up on that.
I’d seen some really soft leather ones that might feel good.
Humiliation, hell no. Forced anything, no. Orgasm denial, well sure, massages—getting or giving—both yes. Nipple clamps, Frankie frowned. Maybe. But we might have to work up to that. That definitely went into the later folder.
The question of kneeling made me smile, and she grinned. Over the knee spanking? Privately, she didn’t have an objection, but she didn’t want to just be punished.
“I’m not into just causing you pain,” I told her. “Ever. If it hurts and doesn’t feel good, then it’s a hard and fast no. Period.”
Roleplay? “I’m not ready for that,” she told me. “Maybe after we figure out what works for Frankie and Sir Ian.”
“Sir Ian?” That gave me a little jolt.
I didn’t miss her secretive little smile over it either.
Suspension intrigued us both, but that was going to have to wait until we mastered ropes.
We had barely finished the list when I pulled into the apartments. The rain had turned to full on sleet, and I’d had to crawl us home the last few miles. But the conversation kept us fully engaged.
“Can you imagine if we had to do all of these as part of our psych inventories? Erin’s had me do a few of these question and answer things.”
I didn’t say a word as I put the car into park. She didn’t bring up her psychologist or her sessions. We didn’t ask. They were for her, period. If she wanted to tell us, then we’d listen. This was a hard and fast rule between the four of us. Especially when some sessions left her so drained and ragged, I wanted to kill something, and others left her almost giddy.
So I focused on the question and not the part about Erin. “No, I’m good with being this open with you. It’s not anyone else’s business.”
She grinned.
“Come on, let’s get you inside.” I helped her back into her coat, and we made a run for it, albeit a careful one. The last thing I wanted was for her to fall.
“It’s brr fucking cold out here,” she said around chattering teeth as I got the keys in the lock. Inside, I let loose with my own shiver, but she was already burrowing into my chest as I kicked the door closed. The quiet interior promised me the guys had left us alone like I’d asked.
Hoisting her up, I walked us through the apartment to her room. “Before I forget to say it, Angel,” I murmured against her hair, “thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being curious,” I told her as I settled her on the bed and helped her out of her coat. Then her shoes. “For all the research you’ve been doing. For going with me tonight… For being you.”
“I’m not done,” she informed as she wiggled her toes when I stripped off her socks. “I have more books to read.”
“And more classes to take.”
With only the light from the hall illuminating the bedroom, her smile looked even softer. As I hooked a finger under her shirt, I asked, “Do you need anything? Water? Restroom break?”
“You.”
Her nipples were every bit as peaked as they’d been earlier, and I smoothed a hand over her cheek. A droplet of water fell from her hair. Yeah. We needed to take care of that. First, the wet clothes. At my urging, she stood, and I peeled her pants down, along with her panties. I pressed a kiss to her bare abdomen and then to each of her hips. She gave a little laugh, and I rubbed my cheek against her skin, just savoring the touch. This was another reason I’d shaved. I didn’t want there to be any whisker burn on her.
As if to prove my point, I drew her close so I could lave a kiss over her nipple. My cock had half-given up on me and just seemed to be painfully pointing right at her, but he could damn well wait. This was about her.
For me, it would always be about her.
A breathy little gasp escaped her and she brought her hand up, but seemed to hesitate about touching my hair. Releasing the nipple with a little pop, I said, “You can touch me. We’re not quite to the obey part of the evening.” That, and I loved having her hands on me, even if it shredded my control. I ached to have her touching me.
She sank her fingers into my hair and caressed my scalp lightly with her nails. Lips pursed, I blew against her damp nipple, and it tightened more. After another loving kiss, I moved to the other. She sighed as she stroked her fingers through my hair, and I was tempted to just keep going until I wrenched every lovely sound of her.
But I also wanted to take my time, and I had some plans. Before I could get carried away, I patted the bed. “I’ll be right back.” I tossed her damp clothes toward the laundry and stood. I was out of my shoes and shed my own jacket on the way to the bathroom. I stripped off my shirt and ran a fast towel over my damp hair before returning to the bedroom.
When I walked back in, she was on her knees, and all the breath backed up in my lungs. Her hands were on her thighs, palms up and open, her chin down and her shoulders back.
“Jesus, Angel…” That…definitely was more than I expected.
She glanced up from beneath her lashes, and she smiled. “You like?”
“I love.” It did all kinds of things to my system for her to do that so openly, and at the same time, I didn’t want her on her knees. Not all the time, but also… “I am going to ask for this again.”
“You don’t have to ask,” she told me. “You can want it anytime.”
That was an open-ended permission. We had been talking about what we liked and didn’t in the car. Reaching her, I used the towel to chase away the droplets still in her hair. One fell against her chest, and she let out a little breathy gasp. Seriously, I wanted to capture that sound forever and only for me.
I was greedy like that.
“You ready to play?” I asked, squatting down to where she knelt. Not going to lie, it lit all kinds of possessiveness in me.
“Yes.”
“You know the rule, right?”
“If I need to stop, I just say stop. I trust you,” she told me, and I leaned forward to press my forehead to hers while I got my emotions under control. I wanted the control, don’t get me wrong. I needed it like I needed her. But when she trusted me with it, it turned me inside out.
Eyes closed, I calmed my breathing and steadied myself. I needed to be steady for her. That was how we both got what we wanted. With one last brush of my fingers, I rose and stepped back. “Get on the bed.”
The corners of her mouth curved at the command, and her eyes tracked my every motion as I reached for the belt on my jeans. She rose so damn gracefully and walked backwards to the bed and sat on the edge. Curious, I raised my brows. I hadn’t been specific about how to get on the bed or even what to do once she was on it.
When her teeth sank into her lower lip, I had to bite back a groan. I wanted to bite that lip too, but she curled over and brought her legs up onto the bed, until she was on her hands and knees and giving me nothing but that gorgeous ass to look at, with little peeks of pink when she crawled forward.
A playful smile hovered on her lips as she settled on her side and propped her head up with one hand as though she waited for me to entertain her.
God was I lucky guy. Luckier than I deserved. Aware of her staring at me, I stripped out of the rest of my clothes. My cock was still rock hard, but I didn’t rush forward. I kind of wanted to just drink in the sight of her. She’d been so into the demo, even more than I expected, and I wished I had something here to drape over her or even play with the idea of tying her up.
Definitely needed to pick up some items going forward.
When I stood at the foot of the bed, she curled the toes of her foot in a silent invitation, but when I didn’t move right away, she lifted her leg enough to give me a better view of that perfect pussy. And it really was perfect in so many ways. Perfect to look at. Perfect to taste. Perfect to sink into as it wrapped around me.
“The things I want to do with you, Angel,” I told her. “Roll onto your stomach.” She didn’t even hesitate as she rolled over, and I fixed my gaze on her tattoo. Crawling along her, I paused to press a kiss to where my name was inked into her skin. I never forgot for an instant that she had her name on me. I wanted her name there, and I wanted my name on her. Tracing the lines with my tongue, I smiled at her shudder. “I want to make love to you tonight,” I told her. “I want to think about all the things we’re going to explore and discover together, but right now, I just want you.”
“You say that like you’re worried I’ll be disappointed,” she whispered.
“Just don’t have all the things here I want to play with,” I admitted, then stroked a hand down the length of her spine to her ass. She clenched her butt under my fingers.
“You have your belt.”
I did. Though this bed didn’t quite…well… I eyed the headboard. It was solid, but the mattress had give to it and there were slats below.
Easing away from her, I retrieved my belt and wrapped it around her left wrist, careful to keep it from being too tight, then I drew her arm back to the small of her back. When I pulled her right arm to join it, she went all pliant and soft. With her cheek pressed against the cover, she looked back at me with absolute trust in her eyes. I secured her wrists to each other, not so tight she couldn’t get free, but still tight enough to keep her arms where I wanted them.
Stretching over her, I pulled a pillow down and then stuffed it under her belly until it tilted her ass up, then I nudged her legs apart. Her teeth grazed over her lower lip again, and her nostrils flared as she let out another one of those fucking gorgeous sighs.
“This good?” I checked as I smoothed my hands up her thighs. There was dampness along the inside of them, and her pussy was soaking when I traced my fingers over the slit. My cock jerked in anticipation, but I ignored its demands.
“Hmm,” she said, and wiggled her ass invitingly. “It’s a little awkward.” She had no leverage.
“Only a little?” I gripped the belt where it joined her wrists.
“Yes,” she said. “But it’s not too bad. I kind of… Fuck…”
I pushed in with one smooth thrust, and she took every inch of me in a vise-like grip that threatened to blow my load right then and there. Her gasps echoed the ones inside me as I balanced my grip on the belt and rocked my hips back and then thrust forward agai
n, even as I pulled her back.
She snapped her head up and let out a little cry. Oh, I liked that. I repeated the motion, and she clenched down on me with every deep thrust. I controlled every part of this dance, and I stroked my fingers over her tattoo and kept my gaze fixed on the way her head tilted, the muscles straining in her shoulders and her throat.
When her head fell forward with one of my thrusts, I gathered a handful of her hair and pulled her head back. I needed to see her, I needed to know she was all right. Lips parted, eyes closed, and her expression taut with pleasure, and I thrust harder and deeper. I didn’t think I could get any deeper, and at the same time, I wanted to pound myself into her skin.
“You can come for me anytime you feel it, Angel,” I told her through clenched teeth. I’d been holding back my need all evening, and I had a feeling so had she. She writhed in my grip, and I caught her rubbing her nipples against the covers as we matched rhythm. I could live here, feeling her taking me over and over.
The clamp of her inner muscles only increased the friction, and I let go of her hair to reach around and tweak her nipples. The cry tearing from her throat dragged my balls up tight. She was so close.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” She chanted it like a litany, and I grinned as lightning seemed to gather at the base of my spine. Need was like a raging fever in me, but I needed to be in her as deep as we could get and I needed to feel her come around me. Sliding my hand down to cup her pussy, I tested the stretch where she took me, and she gasped again.
No more teasing. No more prolonging it.
Faster, slower, and then fast again, until she thrashed around me. Then I found her clit, and with three hard, swift circular strokes, she let out a cry. The ripple of relief that went through her was matched only by the fierceness of her response, and I released that last bit of control as she orgasmed around me. The hard clamp of her muscles fisting around me coupled with the harsh loss of control in her breath shredded my control.