Chapter 15
I pushed open the front door and ran down the steps to the driveway. Darkness called to me, providing a safety and privacy I so needed. My skin crawled with the realization of what I’d done, my heart hammered with the desperate need to escape. The grass, slick with dew, quickly soaked my tennies, chilling my feet. The elements would kill me if I was out all night. I didn’t know where I was going and vaguely realized how irrational my escape was, but I didn’t care.
Maddox’s face kept flashing to mind…that brilliant red blood trailing down the corner of his mouth. I’d taken their word that he still lived, but what if he didn’t? What if I’d killed him?
My God, with her ability we can break in anywhere. Aaron’s words came rushing back.
Had they used me? Did they not even care how I felt, but only about my abilities? With a cry, I gripped the cold, metal posts of the fence. The need to escape was so overwhelming, I wanted to scream. I jerked on the gates. They didn’t budge. No security guards came down from the tower, even though I could see a light and knew they were there.
“Jerks!” I cried.
Just past the road, lay the ocean. Dark and foreboding. Impossible to cross.
Trapped. I was trapped here— on an island I couldn’t leave.
“Cameron!” Lewis called.
Furious he’d followed me, I spun around. “Go away, Lewis.”
“No,” he insisted, pausing a few feet in front of me. His breath came out in cold puffs of air that suspended between us.
I pushed past him and followed the fence line. Maybe it ended somewhere and if it didn’t, I’d just keep walking. Like an animal in the zoo, I’d walk in circles, pacing my cage day after day until I went insane.
Lewis rushed after me, I could hear his harsh breathing. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. I don’t care. I want to leave.”
“You can’t leave, Cam.”
Anger and fear hammered through my chest. I spun around to face him. “Why?”
He raked his hands through his hair, obviously frustrated. Well, get in line. “Because…because you’d be in danger.”
I released a harsh laugh, and started walking again. “I’m in danger here, in this house, on this island. Didn’t you say they were coming, S.P.I.? My God, he found us in town, what makes you think he can’t get in here? Maddox did.”
“You’re safe. Protected. I promise. But out there anything could happen to you.” He latched onto my arm, his grip tight. “Cameron, please, you can’t leave, I would worry about you.”
My heart warmed, even as my mind demanded it not soften. My heart won. Slowly, I turned. “Lewis, I can’t do this again. I can’t hurt someone like that. Did you see his face? Did you see the blood?”
He gripped both my arms, bringing me closer to his warmth. “I know, but Cam, the man’s a criminal.”
“You’re saying he deserved it?”
“I’m saying he’s all right. You don’t have to feel guilty.” He led me toward a stone bench that rested under one of the few trees in the garden. A tree that had lost all of its leaves and was now a skeletal remain of its former glory. “We had to do it. Don’t you get that? There was no alternative.”
I sank onto the cold, stone bench. Lewis settled beside me, his body warm and comforting. “Did you try talking to him?”
He smiled, the kind of smile you give a child who believes in the Easter Bunny. “You know we did.”
Of course I knew. But I still couldn’t help but hope there would be another way out of this mess. What we were doing…what we had done…was wrong. Maddox was a man, a man not much older than me. A man whose memories, his life, had flashed through my mind as if his memories were my own. A man I’d made scream out in pain. A man I might have killed.
Lewis took my hand, his grip strong. “He’s a monster, Cam. The moment you underestimate him is the moment you’re dead. He’ll do whatever it takes to succeed, even if it means killing us. Killing you.”
His words should have frightened me. Instead I felt an odd numbing sensation overtake any feelings. “And we’ll obviously do the same. So how does that make us any different?”
His face tensed, his grip on my hand tightening, although I didn’t think he noticed. “We are only protecting ourselves,” he snapped. “They are attacking us.”
I was quiet, biting my tongue to keep from snapping back. He was angry at me and I didn’t want him angry. He was one of the few allies I had. Besides, I didn’t know enough about this situation to win the argument. Why even try? Instead, I stared up at the dark sky, those twinkling stars familiar. The same stars I’d seen my entire life. The same stars I saw when I traveled in my mind. Was I out there, in the universe, when I was mind reading? For some reason it made me feel less alone.
“You won’t be safe outside these walls.” Lewis rubbed his thumb over my knuckles. “We’ve known for months they were hunting us and were desperate to protect you.”
I pulled my hand away from his. I couldn’t think when he touched me. Instead I focused on the moon, bright and full, laughing down at us. “Is that why you found me? You needed my ability?”
He was silent for a moment. “Not the only reason. Aaron thought it was time to teach you to use your powers to your fullest.”
My sharp gaze dropped to him. “But only because he suddenly needed me?”
“No.” He sighed, raking his hands through his hair. “Your father wanted you involved. He wanted you to have this life. Aaron tried to keep you out as long as possible, but they were going to come for you.”
Did I believe him? I didn’t dare look into his eyes, for fear he’d read my distrust. I needed time to think, time alone and I didn’t want to be influenced by him or his gorgeous smile.
“Give me your hands,” he demanded.
I slid him a sidelong glance, but did as he told. “Trust me.” He gripped both my hands in his and turned me so I was facing him. Those eyes were so intense that it was impossible to look away.
“Stare into my eyes. Take in my thoughts, my memories.”
“No!” I tried to pull back, afraid I’d hurt him as I had Maddox, but his hands only tightened around me.
“I want you to.” His gaze was unwavering, his touch reassuring. “I’m going to open my mind. I want you to understand me, Cameron.”
I hesitated, feeling like I was invading his privacy, yet at the same time I did want to understand.
“Relax,” he whispered.
And I did. With the bitterly cold autumn wind tugging at my hair, whipping it across my face and stinging my skin, I closed my eyes and relaxed as they’d taught me.
“Focus on me,” his voice was a soft murmur. “You won’t have to dig because I’ll be open.”
And it was so easy how his thoughts slipped into mine like the warm rays of the sun. I’d gone so long without hearing any thoughts, besides Maddox’s, that for a moment I wasn’t sure which were mine and which were from Lewis.
I hope she believes me.
I hope she understands why this is so important.
Please, don’t leave. I need you here.
The words rushed through my mind, tangling with my own. Thoughts so emotional, so true, that my heart clenched.
“Why,” I whispered. “Why do you want me here? So you can use me?”
At first, but now because I think I might be in love with you.
My entire being froze. You couldn’t stop your thoughts; you couldn’t hesitate and think of the right words, they merely came unbidden. I wanted to open my eyes, I wanted to look at him, to know if his love was true, or if he was playing some mind game Aaron had taught him. But even I knew that a person could speak a lie, but their thoughts would remain true to what they believed.
Lewis might love me. My heart slammed erratically against my ribcage. Did I love him? I’d never been in love. How did I know if I was? But I didn’t have time to dwell over my feelings, because seconds
later pictures flashed through my mind…memories…his memories.
A tall man appeared before me, smiling. He had dark hair that glimmered in the sun as he leaned over and handed me…no Lewis…a baseball. We were outside, the day was beautiful, the grass cool and soft beneath my bare feet. A woman appeared wearing a pink dress. She had blonde hair and a brilliant smile. She wrapped her arm around her husband’s waist and kissed his cheek, then knelt and pulled Lewis into a tight hug. She smelled like vanilla, as if she’d been baking. It was a wonderful scent full of motherly love and happiness.
An odd sensation of warmth and sadness swirled low in my gut. Then the memory changed and I was playing soccer, dribbling the ball down the field. I even felt his euphoria when he scored. Soccer was gone and I was standing behind a tree, a little girl was in front of me. She couldn’t have been more than ten. She smiled shyly, her long, dark hair shimmering in the sunlight. She leaned forward, puckered her lips and closed her eyes. His first kiss.
I saw so many things…playing sports, going to the beach, going to school…all these memories flashed quickly through my mind in what seemed like a breathless moment. Then, his thoughts and memories slowed. The colors seemed more intense, the memories more detailed.
I was in a bedroom, the area dark…it was night. I was staring at the ceiling listening to voices argue. The fear tasted bitter in my mouth, but I was too afraid to move. My door creaked opened, and light splashed into the room.
Lewis, Lewis wake up, a woman called out.
I sat up in bed, my heart slamming wildly. I was afraid…or Lewis was afraid.
“What is it?” he asked.
“They’re coming, Lewis. They’re coming.” She pulled me out of bed and started digging through the dresser, tossing clothes across the room. I was trembling, I was so afraid, and it made it hard to dress.
Suddenly, she was back. Lewis’s mother grasped my shoulders and shook me gently. Her face was pale, her eyes shimmering. “You need to go.”
“What? Where?”
“Aaron will take care of you.”
Lewis grasped onto her arm as she tried to let go. “I don’t understand. Where are you going?”
“We have to separate, Lewis, it’s the best thing for you…for all of us.” She tried to pry Lewis’s hands away, but he wouldn’t let go. “Aaron will take you to your father’s brother.”
“No, I’m not leaving you.”
“You must.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door, her other hand carried a suitcase. In the living room, Aaron was there, a little younger, sadder looking Aaron.
“I’ll keep you safe,” he said, taking Lewis’s hand.
And then he was pulling me…pulling Lewis toward the door. Tears stung my eyes, trailing down my cheeks. My tears, or Lewis’s, I wasn’t sure. Just as I reached the door, Lewis’s mom grabbed me. She pulled me into one last hug, her soft cries gut-wrenching. Then we stepped out into the darkness and the memory faded.
“It was the last time I saw them,” Lewis whispered, breaking into my thoughts.
I blinked from my trance, feeling the bite of the night wind once more. My cheeks were wet, my head hurt slightly, a soft pounding. Too many memories in too short of a time. I felt heavy, sad with Lewis’s depressing memories. My hands tightened in his grip. I wished I could see his face better in the dark. I wanted to pull him close, hug him and offer comfort in some way.
“I couldn’t even go to their funerals because my uncle was afraid something would happen to me,” he whispered.
“Lewis, I’m so sorry.”
He gave me a sad, half smile and looked out over the dark lawn. “I know. When I was with my uncle…” He shook his head looking distant, as if recalling a memory he’d rather not. “It was like when you were with your grandmother. Constantly running. Constant secrecy.”
I released one of his hands and swiped at my damp cheeks. “How’d they die?”
He looked down, nudging the toe of his tennies into the grass. “They had met with your father and a few others the night before. They were going to bond together, and demand they be released of their duties with S.P.I. Someone betrayed them. We have no idea who. Our parents were…murdered.”
I closed my eyes and rested my elbows on my knees. My father had been murdered. I covered my face with my hands as my stomach twisted with fear. My father had been murdered, gunned down like some bad movie.
“How old were you?” I asked him, my voice muffled through my fingers.
“Seven,” he whispered. “Aaron took me to my uncle’s. When he died, Aaron came for me. I owe him everything.”
Seven, so young, not much older than I’d been when Mom abandoned me, yet….something was off, something not quite connecting, something that tapped at the edges of my mind. I jerked upright. “I’m only…a year younger than you.”
He nodded, frowning.
“My dad was killed when your parents were killed.”
“Right…”
He still wasn’t following, but I was. Oh God, I felt sick. Angry, horrified. “My dad…I was told my dad died when I was a baby.”
Realization dawned, his gaze glimmering with the truth. He looked away, but not before I saw the guilt in his eyes. “He thought you’d be better off without him.”
“You knew?”
He didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to.
“All that time….” Tears blurred my vision. “All that time I thought he was dead. All that time I was living with my grandma, he was still alive?”
Lewis swallowed and nodded slowly, still not looking at me.
A warm tear slipped down my cheek. “When did you know? About me?”
“I heard him talking to my parents one night. I heard him talk about you, how much he missed you. He wondered if what he’d done was right.” He was silent for a moment. “I’m so sorry, Cam.”
I sniffed, my nose stinging. “Not your fault. It’s just that…I could have had time with him.”
“Or you could have been killed too,” he whispered.
He didn’t wait for my permission, but wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. I sank into his warm body and closed my eyes. I couldn’t help myself. He was the only one here and he…he thought he loved me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my face to his shoulder, breathing deep his scent. He smelled so good, like soap and warmth.
“Stay with me Cameron.” Don’t leave me.
He hadn’t closed his thoughts. Did he realize? Had he left himself open on purpose? I tilted my head back and looked up into his face. So gorgeous, so kind. Maybe he was right. Maybe we had to hurt Maddox for our own good. Maybe it would be stupid not to fight back.
I want to kiss her.
I smiled. “So kiss me.”
He stiffened, surprised that I had read his thoughts, or surprised that I would be so bold? I didn’t care, all I cared about was Lewis…kissing me. I gripped the front of his shirt, the cotton soft and warm from his body, and tugged him closer. I didn’t want to think anymore of depressing memories.
When he leaned down, I lifted my face eagerly. He pressed his lips to mine and my entire body burst to life. His hand slipped into my hair, cupping my head and deepening the kiss. And I let him. Even though thoughts of Maddox nagged at me, I let Lewis kiss me because I didn’t want to think anymore. I only wanted to feel.
His tongue darted out, slipping across my lips. A shiver raced over my skin. I felt so completely and utterly warm, warmer than I’d ever been. I didn’t want it to end, never wanted that kiss to end.
I realized, with a start, that I might be a little in love with Lewis as well. But how could I love someone I wasn’t sure I fully trusted?
The Mind Readers, Book 1 Page 22