Maybe this was good for them, she decided as she pulled out into the street. Hannah needed to know that she could depend on her father every bit as much as her mother. Russell had never been particularly doting, especially when the kids were small. He had very little patience for their childlike questions or their constant need for his attention. That was the benefit of having a stay-at-home mom. They could have all their emotional and practical needs met so that he could get about an hour of the good stuff every night when he got home from work. They were fed, clean and generally well-behaved, so all he had to do was offer little nuggets of his precious, limited attention and his dad duty was fulfilled.
Now he had to get in the trenches and do the hard work that Joely had always done. It would be good for their relationship overall. Joely already knew that having an absent father was tough on a kid, and she had seen what that lack of attention had done to Kari. There were times when all she wanted was just a little undivided attention from her dad, and she’d do just about anything to get it. Since he prized academics, she’d study her ass off to get the best grades in the class. She always showed her papers and report cards to Russell first, before anyone else. His rare praise validated her entire existence, which was probably why she fell apart when they were forced to move away from him.
In that respect, Joely was glad that Kari had been so receptive to working at the restaurant. It gave her a sense of accomplishment all on her own. She loved it there, so much so that her weekends with her father now came a distant second to working and earning her own way. It made Joely proud to see her grow.
Even Nash had thrived away from the house in Fairway Oaks. He smiled a little more. He laughed. He wanted to participate in her cookie enterprise, as did the other kids. It was as though each and every one of them was growing in their new environment.
She believed that Russell, too, could rise to these new challenges. He’d already been more involved with the kids in the last two months than he had been in all the years before. It wasn’t perfect, obviously, but it could be okay.
It made her feel better about leaving, despite how much that pained look in Hannah’s eyes had gutted her when she turned to leave. She reminded herself that it wasn’t selfish to do things to take care of her business. Ultimately her success would benefit her children far more than the occasional disappointment to be had when she was pulled in more than one direction.
The truth was she wanted to go to Dallas. She wanted to see what new adventures lay ahead of her, particularly with expanding her business. But she also wanted to explore her new identity as a single woman being pursued by a tempting man. Like her kids, her life was much bigger now. How could that be a bad thing?
When she pulled up into the driveway of her mother’s house, Xander’s sleek car was already parked there. He got out as soon as she arrived, walking over to her driver’s side door before she could put the car into park. He opened the door, held out a hand and pulled her to her feet. “You look beautiful as always,” he murmured as he brought her hand to his lips. “Are you ready for the weekend of a lifetime?”
She nodded with a tentative smile. “I’m all yours,” she said, and this time she meant it.
He grinned as he led her to his car, opening the passenger side door so that she could slip inside. He walked around to the driver’s side, climbed inside and gunned the motor. With that sideways smirk, he put the car in reverse, backing them out of the driveway, and then they were on their way.
The music playing from the radio was sultry, with a beat that pulsated much like the clamoring of her heart as they sped out of town. He reached for her hand, which he placed on his muscular thigh just inches away from a promising bulge in his pants. When he began singing the seductive lyrics of the song, she melted even more. He stole the occasional glance her way, with that insufferable grin of his, but he didn’t speak much as they hit Interstate 20 heading east.
For a Friday night, traffic was relatively light. There were the occasional big rigs, and a few other cars zooming their way to the bright lights of Dallas for a weekend getaway, but as the sun started its descent behind them, it felt like they were in their own little bubble.
She luxuriated in the feeling of his muscular thigh under her hand. She spread her fingers wide as she explored his leg, inching up toward his groin. “Why, Joely,” he grinned. “I do believe you’re turning from a good girl into a bad one.”
“Wasn’t that the plan?” she asked with a grin of her own.
He wound his right hand into her hair. “Don’t stop,” he said in a gruff voice.
She teased him mercilessly throughout the next hour, total payback for how long he had prolonged his own seduction. She wanted him so crazed by the time they got to Dallas that he would take her right up to their hotel room and fuck her at last.
As receptive as he was to her blatant caresses, the minute they pulled up to the five-star resort hotel in downtown Dallas, he was back in control. He took his sports jacket from the back seat, handing off the keys to the valet before directing the bellman to take the two big suitcases in the trunk up to their room.
Everything was courtesy of the producers of the morning show, so all they had to do was walk in the door to be treated like A-list celebrities. He guided her to one of the restaurants on the property, a steakhouse, for their late dinner reservations. She ordered the filet mignon, he ordered the porterhouse. She grinned at him as she sipped her glass of red wine. “I honestly thought you’d take me straight to the room.”
He chuckled. “You did make that option quite tempting. But for the weekend I have planned, we need sustenance.”
“So what’s our agenda?”
“Tonight we’re on our own. Tomorrow we meet with Tisha. She’ll do the pre-interview stuff and we can tape any demonstrations preparing some of your masterpieces they can edit together and use with the package when it airs. The sooner the better,” he said before he dove back into his steak.
“I’m a little nervous,” she admitted. “I’ve never been a camera-ready sort of girl.”
“There’s no time to be shy anymore,” he told her. “You are your brand. And if I have my way, you’ll be a household name by the end of next year.”
She eyed him thoughtfully. “You’re going to be around by the end of next year?”
His eyes met hers. “Is there somewhere else I’m supposed to go?”
“Didn’t we already cover this? I know the rules of the game. It’s inevitable that you’ll leave sooner rather than later, right?”
He leaned back in his chair. “Is that what you’re worried about, Joely? That we’ll start something here tonight that is doomed to end?”
“Maybe,” she said softly. “I’m just now getting back on my feet, Xander. I’d like to know there isn’t another rug being pulled out under me anytime too soon.”
He reached for her hand across the table. “You’re still looking for guarantees in a world that has none. Every season passes, Joely. Doesn’t mean you can’t stop to dance in the rain every once and a while.”
“So, in other words, don’t get too attached?”
“In other words,” he corrected softly, but in a firm, direct voice, “enjoy the now.”
He couldn’t give her any guarantees and she knew it. He’d already warned her that he wasn’t the dating sort, and he definitely wasn’t the happily-ever-after kind of hero riding in on some noble steed. The days of fairy tales were over. She was a grown woman, almost forty years old. She knew how it worked now.
He was a handsome man who knew how to please her, to titillate her, to fulfill her in ways she had never dreamed possible. What more could she ask from this life than that?
He summoned the check, but instead of directing her towards the elevator, they stopped off at the hotel bar for a nightcap and a spin around the dance floor. “You’re driving me crazy,” she giggled as he held her tight while they swayed to the music.
“The waiting is the best part,” he murmured
before he bent to kiss the sensitive curve of her neck.
“Says you. I haven’t had sex in,” she paused to count, then said, “nine months.”
He was stunned as he stared down at her. “You’re serious?”
She nodded. “Things slowed down after the kids came. Then, after we were surprised with Hannah, I think Russell was afraid of any other ‘accidents.’ He insisted I get the birth control implant, but even then we only managed intimacy once a month, maybe, if I was lucky. It slowed down even more after Jena started working for him. After they finally hooked up, he really didn’t have any need for me except to take care of the children and clean his house.” As much as she didn’t want to admit it, it still hurt. Xander could tell, right away.
“Do you still love him, Joely?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. It had been a question she’d been asking herself for weeks, ever since she found that email. “I think by the end of it all I was more in love with the idea of him. He was my husband. I made my vows and never really regretted them. That was our life, even the bits that didn’t fit. I guess I took our happy ending for granted. Maybe we both got lazy,” she finally admitted.
He nodded. “Maybe that’s why the idea of marriage has never held any appeal for me. Seems so archaic. You make a pledge when you’re young and foolish, and have to abide by it no matter the consequences.”
She smiled softly. “It’s not all bad, Xander. Growing old with somebody. Getting to know them better than you know yourself sometimes. Having someone just be there, so you don’t have to face the cold, cruel world on your own.”
“Would you do it again?”
Her eyes met his. They were that perfect mixture of brown, gold and green, dark in one minute, brightly shining the next. She loved staring into them, but she loved it most when they were staring back at her. They saw the parts of her no one else bothered to see. “Yes,” she answered.
He kissed her then, which took her by surprise. She expected him to run screaming for the exit. But nothing she had done had repelled him. In fact, his body bore the evidence of his attraction. She felt him harden against her as he clutched her tight.
She reached up to whisper in his ear, “Time to dance in the rain.” She took him by the hand and pulled him from the dance floor.
Chapter Eighteen
Due to her stomach bug, Hannah was even grumpier than usual when Russell put her to bed that Friday night. She couldn’t get comfortable and was whinier than he ever remembered her being. She begged Russell to stay with her as she fended off the chills by snuggling in her bed. He knelt beside her, stroking her hair as she fell into a fitful sleep well after her normal bedtime.
He was exhausted by the time he made it out of her room and joined the other kids in the family room for a movie. “How’s she doing?” Kari asked.
“Fussy,” he answered as he slid into his recliner with a tired sigh. “It’s going to be a long night waiting for her fever to break. Sorry this kind of messed up our plans this weekend.” He had wanted to take them to the movies and out to eat, something special they hadn’t been able to do since before The Event. Unfortunately Hannah was in no shape to be out in public.
“It’s okay,” Kari shrugged as she turned her attention back to her diary. “As long as she feels better.”
He smiled at his eldest. She was a good kid overall. A little spoiled, perhaps, but he couldn’t help that. She had him wrapped around her finger from the time she was born. Now she was growing into a woman right before his very eyes. He loved being able to relate to her as an adult. He had never really been that comfortable around them when they were children. They were loud, messy and unpredictable. It caused chaos in his perfectly ordered life and he didn’t know quite how to handle any of it. He simply hadn’t known how to relate to them then. Thankfully Joely buffered most of that, to foster a more positive relationship between them. But nothing had helped them bond better than each passing year, which transformed his bouncing baby girl into a lovely young woman.
“So how are things at school?” he asked. “Better?”
During their first weekend visitation, she had cried on his shoulder how awful the kids were at her new school. She hadn’t fit in and she feared she never would. They were all just so different. The girls had been heinous at first, making fun of everything from the clothes she wore to the way she looked. Since she wasn’t able to wear makeup, she looked much younger than the stylish girls in her new class. At her old school that had never been a problem. She had scores of friends who would hook her up with all the things her mother never let her wear. She could easily blend in with all the kids who all knew how important her dad was, since they’d grown up in the same neighborhoods and had the same friends from kindergarten.
At the new school she felt horribly alone. Nobody knew who she was. Nobody cared. At best, her detractors had assumed she was poor. It was something she feared herself the instant they left Fairway Oaks, despite the fine house they now occupied with her Nana. It still wasn’t their house. In a very real sense, they were homeless.
At worst the new bullies pegged her as just plain weird, which was what she suspected deep down that she was. She wasn’t like everyone else. She had no idea what she wanted to do with her future, and her life. She’d never dated. She had no idea what she wanted for a career, often defaulting to medicine simply because that was what her father wanted for her. She felt like a blank slate, completely undefined. The only time she felt even remotely normal was when she was around Xander. He didn’t see her as some weird mutant trapped somewhere between childhood and adulthood. He didn’t treat her any differently than anyone else at the restaurant, despite her young age. When she talked, he actually listened. He wasn’t trying to correct her like her mom, pacify her like her dad or treat her like some child like her Nana or Granny Faye.
Instead of suspending her in some adolescent limbo where she didn’t know anything, he treated her just like an adult.
That one little thing made the mean girls at Abilene High irrelevant. “Better,” she finally answered her dad.
“Making new friends?” he probed.
“Sort of,” she said. “I’m really busy at the restaurant.”
“Ah, yes,” he said as he sat up. “Try to keep some balance with it, Kari. School is far more important than some part-time job. You’re preparing yourself for a college career, and that’ll take you much further than bussing some tables at Lillian’s Place. You need proof of that, just look at your mom.”
Kari shot a look towards him. It wasn’t uncommon for him to use her mother as a cautionary tale of what not to be, but it rubbed her the wrong way given all the hard work that she was putting into Back for Seconds. “She’s actually doing really well, Dad. Those cookies sell at the restaurant for, like, four bucks a piece. And she sells out practically every day.”
“No one can bank their future on cookies, Kari. It’s probably just a fad. It’ll pay for a while but there’s no security there. I want something better for you. And I should hope that you want something better for yourself.”
“I just want to be happy,” she said.
“You can be just as happy in a mansion as you can a trailer park, Kare-Bear. Remember that.” Having made his point, the discussion was closed. He turned on the movie and that was that.
She returned to her diary, where she could freely daydream about Xander.
It was just after eleven o’clock when Xander opened the door to their modern suite overlooking the skyline of downtown Dallas. He pulled Joely into the room by the hand, which he placed another long kiss upon as he shut the door behind them. She walked into his arms, leaning up to kiss him now that they were finally, blissfully, alone.
He groaned in his throat as he deepened the kiss. She pushed his jacket from his broad shoulders off onto the floor. He responded by lifting her up at the waist, to devour her mouth as he carried her through the split suite room towards the bed on the other side of the wall.
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nbsp; He didn’t bother to turn out the light or close the drapes as he deposited her next to the bed. Instead he turned her around, facing the window, so he could unzip her dress slowly, trailing fire along her spine where his fingertips lingered. He pushed the dress from her shoulders and slid it from her trembling body until it fell at a heap at her feet. He held her by each arm as he leaned forward, kissing the line along her neck, towards her ear, where he blazed a trail of fire at the tip of his tongue. She tried to lean backwards towards him but he held her fast. Instead he stepped closer, and she felt how hard he had grown as he pressed against her ass, bared by the skimpy panties she wore.
She watched their reflection in the window just across from the bed as he nibbled along her neck, near her ear, and down to her shoulder. He released one of her hands so he could slide his large hand across her tummy, slowly lowering between her legs. She gasped as her head rested back against his shoulder. Their eyes met in their reflection. “Watch me.”
She obeyed his gruffly issued command, watching as his fingers rub her aching clit through her underwear. She ground against him as her free hand reached up for a handful of his dark hair. He brushed his mouth against her neck, taking nips out of her skin. His left hand still circled the wrist of her other hand, which he lifted up to her breast. He guided her to cup and squeeze herself until she was unable to withhold her gasps and moans any longer.
She felt his body jump against her, which only made her hungrier for him. “Xander,” she breathed. He captured her earlobe between his teeth, practically growling in her ear.
“Tell me what you want, Joely,” he instructed as he watched her squirm against them in their reflection.
She knew what he wanted to hear. She shuddered hard as she said the words out loud. “I want you to fuck me.”
Back for Seconds (Lone Star Second Chances Book 1) Page 20