A. Zavarelli - Stutter (Bleeding Hearts Book 2)

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A. Zavarelli - Stutter (Bleeding Hearts Book 2) Page 13

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  His fingers gripped the edge of the table as he leaned forward and closed his eyes. Tension radiated through his every muscle as he struggled to control himself. It wouldn’t be long until he gave up on it completely, and I wanted to push him off that ledge. I drew him deeper, harder, scraping my teeth against the crown of his head.

  He rumbled his approval as he shoved the top of my dress down to bare my breasts. They rose and fell with excited breaths as he skimmed each mound with the palm of his hand. My heart escalated to a bombastic rhythm in my chest, my back arching up to accommodate his touch that I so desperately needed. I hated when he deprived me of it.

  He was on me then, the darkness inside of him crackling to life as his fingers came to rest on the hollow of my throat. He pushed his hips into my face and cupped the back of my head with his other hand until he was as deep as I could take him. My moans vibrated against him and his eyes darkened in response.

  “Are you enjoying this?” he tightened his grip on my hair and tugged. “Do you like to provoke me, Brighton?”

  I mumbled around him, unable to answer since my mouth was stuffed full of his cock. I couldn’t help my response. It was hard-wired into my brain to like this now. He’d done that to me. He’d made me enjoy every dirty and rough and depraved thing that he did to me.

  “You betrayed my trust tonight.” He pulled out and thrust deeper with a grunt. “And I didn’t fucking like it.”

  I reached up and stroked his thigh as my eyes met his. A silent apology. A peace offering. His body remained steadfast, over six feet of pure male towering above me. He’d never looked hotter. Or angrier. But I could see his resolve fading as his eyes roamed over my breasts like he wanted to devour them. And then my face. He massaged my jaw with the pads of his fingers and pushed himself deeper.

  “Spread your legs,” he demanded as he yanked my dress up around my waist. “Show me that pussy.”

  I obeyed his command without a second thought.

  “Who does it belong to?” he asked.

  I mumbled my answer around him again. It belonged to him, of course.

  “Don’t ever lie to me again.” His fingers gripped my face possessively and held my gaze. “Do you understand?”

  I tried to nod around him but his hold was too tight so I moaned instead. He hissed in a breath of air and gentled his touch as though he couldn’t help himself.

  “Jesus, you look beautiful with my cock shoved down your throat.”

  I reached for his hips and pushed him deeper.

  Ryland lost it, and the time for talking was done. He held my head steady as he fucked my mouth hard and fast, sounds of agony tearing from his chest as he pawed at my breasts and reached down to stuff his fingers inside of me.

  I could have come so easily, but this was about him. About purging his demons, and that’s all I wanted to focus on. I allowed my head to fall slack in his hands and immersed myself in the motions. On the sounds of pleasure and pain that ripped from inside of him. I’d done that. I’d caused that torment.

  I vowed then and there that I would never lie to him again, and I meant it.

  As though he could feel my silent promise, his face twisted in agony and his lips parted when he flooded my mouth with his release. I was enrapt by the sight of him from this angle, and I knew there wasn’t anything more beautiful than the sight of Ryland coming undone. His body sagged against me as the tension dissolved from his muscles, and just like that, my gentle lover was back.

  I dragged in a breath of air when he pulled himself from my mouth and leaned down to kiss my face. He carried me back to the sofa and nestled me in his arms, tracing circles over my back. For a long time, we just sat there in silence, Ryland catching his breath as I listened to his heartbeat against my cheek.

  After his breathing had calmed, I worked to unbutton his dress shirt, pulling it aside so I could feel his skin against mine. I coveted that feeling. That warmth and bliss only he could provide. I needed it more than anything right then.

  “I hated seeing you with him,” Ryland admitted. “You don’t know him, or the things he’s capable of, and he took advantage of that, Brighton. I fucking hated it.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” I stroked his face. “I will always tell you from now on. I promise.”

  “I know you will, baby girl.” He kissed me softly. “But you can’t have anything to do with him. Ever. Not even for the charity.”

  I nodded in agreement because I was certain I wanted nothing more to do with that man anyway. “All of that stuff he was talking about, the thieves and loyalty. What did he mean by it?”

  Ryland tensed at my question and buried his face in my neck. “I’m not sure, but I don’t want you to worry about it. Whatever it is, I’ll take care of it.”

  That was one thing that still hadn’t changed between us. Ryland wanted complete honesty from me, and yet he couldn’t seem to abide by it himself. I was too tired to argue with him about it, so I just let him hold and comfort me instead. But I could see the storm clouds rolling around in his eyes, and I didn’t want that. He was going back to that dark place in his mind, and we’d had enough darkness in our lives. I only wanted to live in the light from now on.

  So I reached down between us and stroked him while I kissed his throat.

  “Take me to bed,” I pleaded.

  He smiled down at me indulgently and then gave me a brutal kiss. “Okay, baby girl.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Brighton

  Over the next few weeks, Nicole and I worked on expanding the foundation’s programs to benefit multiple age groups. I was five and a half months pregnant and growing bigger every day. Ryland still worked a lot, but he said he was restructuring things within the company so it wouldn’t be this way forever. Whatever he was doing, he’d seemed more stressed than usual.

  I knew Alex Burton was still on his mind, but other than to say he was looking into it, he’d been pretty tight lipped about the whole situation. It was Ryland’s way of feeling like he was protecting me, so I didn’t fight him on it.

  Other than the time Nicole and I were shopping, I hadn’t seen the guy in the fancy suit following me again. I figured it must have been a fluke and washed my hands of it. Mick went everywhere I did, and I was coming to know him well. He really was just a giant teddy bear, all rough on the outside and soft on the inside. Still, I had no doubts he could do some damage if someone ever did try to hurt me. I grew to like his presence despite the fact that he’d pushed Brayden and I off the highway on a night not too long ago.

  At one point, he apologized for it, saying that if he’d known I was in the car it would have never happened. Of course, that didn’t make me feel any better about Brayden, but it was clear by Mick’s expression where he stood on him.

  I still hadn’t heard from him either, and it was making me anxious. I didn’t know what he was up to back in Chicago, but I worried it wasn’t good.

  Norma and I visited once a week, and she seemed to be doing well too. She was still in the rehab facility, even though she’d already been there for a long time. Her counselors said that in her situation, the longer she stayed the better chance she had of making it sober in the real world. And since Ryland could afford it, he had no qualms whatsoever about indulging this.

  He’d even made an effort to visit her with me, and I was over the moon with happiness every time he did. I knew it wasn’t easy for him. The longer we were together, the more I understood why. To him, a mother would do anything to protect her children. He had a hard time understanding where Norma was coming from since his mother wasn’t anything like her. But even so, he seemed to be warming up to her surly personality.

  And besides, seeing the two of them attempt to find some common ground during a conversation was quite entertaining for me. They were worlds apart, but they made it work. For me.

  Even though there were still some very real concerns in the back of my mind, everything was going well. I only hoped it would last.<
br />
  ***

  I woke to Ryland’s lips on my throat.

  He kissed soft trails up to my jaw while his hands deftly roamed my naked body. A glance at the clock confirmed he was very late for work.

  “Don’t you have to go?” I pouted.

  “Not today,” he answered. “I took the week off.”

  “You did?”

  He hummed his answer against my skin before finding his way to my lips.

  “I want to take you somewhere,” he murmured.

  “Where?” I arched into him, already drunk off his touch.

  “I haven’t figured that out yet,” he replied. “Where would you like to go?”

  “You mean like… away from California?”

  “Yes.” He gripped my chin and captured my gaze with his. “I want to spend some time away with you.”

  I smiled and ran my hands through his dark hair. I hoped our son looked like him.

  “Love that smile, baby.” He dragged his thumb across my lips, and they parted for him the way they always did.

  I sucked him into my mouth, teasing the pad of his thumb with my tongue. Ryland rumbled and closed his eyes, his hips already working against mine.

  He was so hard I expected him to push straight inside of me. But instead, he kissed his way down to my breasts. They were swollen and sensitive, and when he sucked my nipple into his mouth, I was already close to coming undone. His fingers found their way between us, and I rode his hand impatiently before he even had a chance to get started.

  “Frisky this morning?” he smirked.

  “It’s the hormones.” I tugged on his hair and shoved my breast back into his mouth where it belonged. “Oh, God.”

  “Fuck, Brighton,” he murmured between mouthfuls. “I could suck on these all day.”

  I would gladly let him. Lately, the slightest touches from him would set me off. But he’d been so busy with work it was hard to find the time to connect like this as often as I wanted. When I had to go without for a couple of nights during the week, I felt like a fiend by the time I finally got it.

  The proof was in our current romp. I arched into his hand, eager and desperate for my release. I needed it so badly. Only Ryland could give it to me. It was never like this by myself, and I was damn certain it would have never been like this with anyone else.

  “I know.” Ryland paused to kiss his way down my belly, and I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. Did I say that out loud?

  “You know what?”

  “It was never like this with anyone else,” he replied, cupping my belly with his hands.

  The thought of him with someone else felt like a knife in my heart. I wasn’t naïve. I knew he had others before he met me. He was thirty years old. Of course there were others. Probably a lot. But it’s something we never talked about. Now the orgasm that had been so close seemed like a distant afterthought.

  Ryland had my legs spread wide, his eyes feasting on the most vulnerable part of me. He looked like he was about to dive in, but I couldn’t let him.

  “How many others were there?” I asked, propping myself up on my elbows.

  He stared up at me in disbelief. “You want to talk about this now?”

  “Yes.” I clamped my jaw shut.

  He shook his head. “Brighton, that’s not a good idea.”

  “Well that’s too bad.” My lip wobbled, and I was fully aware I’d boarded the crazy train as I got jealous over his past. This was definitely the hormones talking, but the fact he didn’t want to tell me made me think it was really bad. Like hundreds of other women had probably had him before me. I couldn’t stand the thought.

  “Were you with anyone else while we were apart?” I accused.

  “Baby, are you crazy?” he gave me his signature arrogant smile. The same smile that had probably melted panties off of countless virgins before me.

  “Yes, I’m crazy!” I snapped. “I’m carrying your child and it’s making me crazy. That’s part of the package, Ryland, so deal with it. Now give me an answer.”

  The tears welled up in my eyes, and all humor faded from his face as he crawled up between my legs and captured my face in his hands.

  “Brighton, it was all over for me the minute I saw you on that porch six years ago. Since you came into my life ten months ago, I have not been with another. Nor do I want to.”

  “That still doesn’t answer my question,” I protested.

  “You really want a number?”

  “You know mine,” I told him. “How is it fair that you get to know mine, but I don’t know yours?”

  Another grin broke out over his face and I glared.

  “This isn’t funny.”

  “I know, I’m sorry.” He smothered down his amusement. “But in all fairness, you’ve only been with me. So it’s pretty much a given that I would know your number.”

  As soon as he said the words, his eyes clouded over, and he looked like he was considering something else. “Unless there’s something else you need to tell me.”

  “Don’t get all broody and possessive of me now.” I shoved against his chest. “Especially when you don’t give me the same courtesy.”

  “I’m not fucking around, Brighton,” he snarled. “Have you been with anyone else?”

  I smiled up at him in return. “Tit for tat, Ryland.”

  He looked like he wanted to belt the shit out of me. I was sure if I wasn’t pregnant, he probably would have.

  “You know what I’m thinking.” He leaned closer and fenced me in with his arms. “Your ass would be so sore tomorrow if you weren’t carrying my baby right now.”

  I smoothed my palms up and down his biceps and watched the frustration dissipate from his eyes. It surprised me how quickly it had gone.

  “You can spank me,” I offered. “If it makes you feel better. I don’t care, so long as I get a number.”

  “I’m not spanking you because you like it too much.”

  I frowned at his words. “You’ve hardly even marked me since you’ve been back inside of me. Don’t you want the world to know I belong to you anymore?”

  “What’s gotten into you?” he rocked back onto his heels and sighed.

  “I told you,” I whined. “I’m cranky.”

  He moved up beside me, patting the space next to him. “Come here, cranky girl.”

  I went, of course. The way I always did. He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair, my face pressed against his heart.

  “Before I tell you this, I need you to promise me you aren’t going to get upset, Brighton. I don’t need to lose any more time with you over something that’s in the past.”

  “I won’t.” It was a complete bullshit lie. Of course I was going to get upset.

  “There were five others before you,” he admitted.

  His grip on me tightened, and I released a breath. “That’s it?”

  He stared down at me in surprise. “What were you expecting?”

  “I don’t know,” I confessed. “I thought it was going to be so much worse. Were any of them serious?”

  “No,” he said without hesitation. “Never. They were just a couple of girls in college and then after that it was no strings attached sort of agreements.”

  “Oh.”

  He rolled me onto my back and positioned himself between my legs again. “Don’t deny me what’s mine, Brighton.”

  “Okay.”

  He groaned and rubbed his cock against my arousal, squeezing his eyes shut as he pushed inside. And then he paused. I wiggled my hips, but to no avail. He wasn’t moving.

  “Jesus,” he rasped. “You feel so fucking good, baby. Just give me a minute. You’ve got me all worked up here.”

  I grinned and wiggled my hips some more. My jealousy always got him worked up for some reason. He liked it when I was possessive of him too.

  He started to move, bracing himself on his forearms as he brought his forehead to mine. He kissed me soft and tenderly before twining our fingers together. Our eyes l
ocked, and then I shattered around him. It was the most intimate moment we’d ever shared.

  Ryland pumped a couple more times before he swelled inside of me, filling me with his warmth. “I fucking love you,” he choked out.

  I brought my hand to his face and smiled. “I fucking love you too.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Brighton

  I stared at the bungalow before me in a state of awe and disbelief. It had a thatched roof and was completely ensconced by palms and lush greenery. But it was the white sand and ocean view behind that really had me at a loss for words. The aquamarine water lapped against the shore no more than fifty feet from where we stood. It was peaceful and serene, and completely surreal.

  “This is amazing,” I squeaked.

  “You like it?” he asked.

  “Are you kidding me?” I stood up on my tiptoes and pulled his mouth to mine. “I can’t believe that places like this even exist.”

  He smiled and threaded his fingers through mine before tugging me inside. Since I hadn’t been able to decide on a location for our ‘getaway’ he’d picked it out for us. One week on Little Palm island in the Florida Keys sounded like the stuff dreams were made of.

  Inside, the suite was decked out like a luxurious island hut. Bamboo shutters filled the rooms with an abundance of natural light, and I could smell the sea breeze filtering through every inch of the place. It was cleansing. Peaceful. Romantic. And it felt like a fresh start for us. It was so unlike Ryland, but seeing me happy made him happy. And right then and there, I made it my ultimate goal to get him to relax completely on this trip with me.

  “Thank you for bringing me here.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed. “This is exactly what I needed.”

 

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