“I’m not about to miss my going-away party,” Aiden said pointedly, brushing a kiss across Fiona’s cheek before moving to the front room where he bent stiffly and stoked the fire. “Tomorrow we’ll have to get Yule log burning for the solstice.”
Fiona narrowed her eyes at his back. He still wanted this to be his going away party and yet he wanted to burn Yule log that was typically burned for twelve days? She opened her mouth to speak but the door blew open again― and this time half the villagers followed Cait, their arms full of food and instruments.
“Hallo all! I made it out of bed just for some good craic,” Aiden boomed, settling into the armchair by the fire, and in moments, he was surrounded by friends. Fiona just shook her head and moved to pour him a glass of Middleton Very Rare, his favorite Irish whiskey. She stopped at the tall highchair where Keelin had placed Baby Grace with a few pieces of mashed up banana in front of her. Crouching, Fiona met her eyes.
“I’m on to you,” Fiona whispered.
Baby Grace chortled and threw a piece of banana from her chair.
“Nice try at distraction, but I’m sure as the sun does shine that you pulled a little trick back in that bedroom.”
Baby Grace slapped her palm on the tray, mashing a banana between her fingers gleefully.
Fiona reached out and ran her hand over the soft curls on Grace’s head.
“And I’ll be thanking you for it too. This is a fine gift,” Fiona whispered, kissing her head. Baby Grace stilled as she pulled away and sure enough, the baby winked at her. Fiona found herself chuckling as she moved into the kitchen to stir the soup again.
“Soup’s almost done and we’ve plenty more food to go around,” Fiona called to the room as the first lilting note of a tin whistle floated across the room. In moments, a fiddle joined it.
Late into the night, the small cottage rang with laughter and music― the notes carrying high on the stormy wind that battered the cottage― light spilling from every window. From afar, it looked like the cottage was aflame, a beacon of life and love in the dark December night.
Chapter Forty-Two
“Make a wish, pretty Fiona. Make a wish,” John whispered to her in her dreams that night. He’d been repeating the same thing in her dreams every night for weeks now. Maybe it was the whiskey she’d drunk at the party that night, but Fiona broke her rule about being angry in her dreams and swung on him.
“You keep saying that! But you don’t tell me what you mean!” She seethed, walking in circles around him. In this dream they were on the cliff overlooking Grace’s Cove, the sun’s warmth gentle on her shoulders― much like the love that radiated from John.
“When the moon is low and the stars are bright― wish you may, wish you might,” John sang to her. Even though his voice was teasing, she caught a hint of seriousness behind his words.
“John, nursery rhymes aren’t helpful right now,” Fiona said, surprised to find herself near tears. She never cried in her dreams with John― ever. The moments spent with him were far too precious to be wasted in tears or anger. And yet, here she was― angry and in tears.
“Wish you may, wish you might,” John sang, brushing his hand across her cheek before he faded from sight and she was left blinking up at the beams that crisscrossed the ceiling of the guest bedroom in Aiden’s cottage. Her eyes watered and Fiona couldn’t help but feel anger roil around in her stomach. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that she’d lost John and now she was losing her friend Aiden.
Life’s not fair.
Her mother’s favorite phrase breezed through her mind and Fiona closed her eyes for a second. Her mother hadn’t taught her to weep into her pillow when something bad happened. She knew well enough that tears didn’t make the bad go away.
Fiona blinked again as looked around at the room. Daylight peeked in her windows. Mid-day light at that. Fiona sat up as silence greeted her.
“Oh shite, shite, shite,” Fiona breathed, swinging her legs from the bed and slipping her feet into her house shoes. She hadn’t meant to sleep so late, but the party had raged late into the night― Aiden staying strong through the thick of it. More than one person had pulled her aside to comment on his good health. Fiona had just shrugged her shoulders helplessly, unable to explain it.
“Aiden?” Fiona called, stuffing her arms into her robe and tying the belt around her waist as she opened her door and called for him once again.
“I’m here,” Aiden called and Fiona turned towards the bedroom before stopping. The voice had come from the front room. Her head tilted in confusion, she marched out into the front room.
“And what is it you think you’re doing?” Fiona asked him sternly, as he stood by the stove― a rasher of bacon in the frying pan.
“Cooking me last breakfast, that’s what,” Aiden said cheerfully.
Fiona eyed him. His color still looked good and he certainly didn’t look like he was on his deathbed. She moved across the room and nudged him out of the way of the stove.
“Sure and you won’t be cooking your own last breakfast now,” Fiona said, nodding at him to go have a seat by the table. “Get yourself some juice and I’ll have tea popping in a bit.”
“Actually, I wouldn’t mind a fine Irish coffee,” Aiden decided.
Fiona turned and leveled a look at him.
“I suppose since you aren’t operating any heavy machinery today, you can have your drink with breakfast,” Fiona decided and Aiden chuckled. She set the bacon on low and moved to the fridge, finding a bottle of heavy cream. As she whisked it in an aluminum bowl, she looked over her shoulder at Aiden. “Great craic last night.”
“’Twas at that. A fine going away party― fit for a king.” Aiden smiled at her and she just could not get over the change in him. It was the happiest and healthiest she had seen him in weeks. Finally, she tapped the whisk on the bowl and turned, her hands on her hips.
“That’s it. You’d better tell me what went on with you and Baby Grace. I swear that child put a spell on you because this is the healthiest I’ve yet to see you. And you’re just so happy,” Fiona exclaimed.
“Ah, yes, fine baby that Grace is. I suspect she’s going to do great things in this world,” Aiden nodded, taking a sip of his orange juice.
Fiona waited. This wasn’t the first time someone had avoided her questions. Finally, Aiden sighed.
“How’s that bacon coming along?” he asked hopefully in a last ditch effort to avoid her question. Fiona just raised an eyebrow at him.
“Listen Fiona, I’m happy because I get to see Serena tonight. I’ve waited a long time for it. Gracie gave me the gift of peace, ‘tis all,” Aiden said, shrugging his shoulder as he looked at Fiona sheepishly.
Fiona thought about it for a moment. She supposed all he had talked about was seeing Serena again. Perhaps his own happiness was the cause for his burst of health.
“I suppose that makes sense. People sure were questioning me about you last night,” Fiona said, turning back to pour a cup of coffee for him with a healthy dash of the Irish in it. She scooped some cream― now thick from her whisking― onto the top of the coffee and set it in front of Aiden.
“That’s a fine cup of coffee right there,” Aiden said, his eyes shining― the picture of health.
Fiona dropped it. This was the man’s last day on earth. If he wanted to talk about easy things, that was his choice. She wasn’t about to badger him with questions all day.
“So, Aiden, why don’t you tell me how you’d like to spend the day?”
“I’d like to go the cove.”
Fiona turned. “Sure and you won’t be fooling me into thinking you’re healthy enough to hike down into the cove now?” Maybe the man had taken complete leave of his senses.
Aiden chuckled, saluting her with his coffee.
“I just want to see it. Prettiest part of all of Ireland. I’d like to fill my last day with pretty things.”
“Well, I should probably go then,” Fiona teased.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Fiona,” Aiden said seriously. Fiona turned and eyed him.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” She smiled back at him. He really wasn’t either. He reminded her a lot of John with his tall build and broad shoulders. Nobody would replace her John, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t admire a handsome man when she saw one.
“John was a lucky man,” Aiden observed as Fiona brought him a plate of a full Irish breakfast, complete with a sliced roasted tomato on the edge of the plate.
“I was a lucky woman,” Fiona sighed and made herself an Irish coffee before sitting across from Aiden and taking a small sip. “I think I’m a little jealous of you.”
“Fiona O’Brien, I’m shocked,” Aiden said, his fork stopping halfway to his mouth.
“Not that you are thinking you’re dying today― but that you’ll get to be with Serena again. Good lord, but that will be quite the reunion,” Fiona held up her coffee cup to him.
“It’ll be divine, I’m sure.”
“Tell John I love him,” Fiona whispered, turning to look out at the water for a moment so that the tears that spiked her eyes wouldn’t fall.
“Tell him that yourself,” Aiden said, and Fiona whipped her head around.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that, you know, they’re with us. He can hear you,” Aiden said quickly, shoving a forkful of eggs in his mouth.
“Right, of course,” Fiona said immediately.
“What say you, pretty Fiona? Care to drive me to the cove after breakfast?”
Fiona scanned the horizon again. Though grey clouds hung low in the sky where the water met the air, no rain fell.
“It looks like you’ll be having yourself a clear winter solstice. I’m happy to drive you over to the cove,” Fiona said, automatically reaching out to stroke Ronan’s ears when he pressed his snout onto her knee. “And Ronan would probably like a good run.”
“It will be a lovely last day,” Aiden all but sang and Fiona marveled at him. She wondered if she would be able to greet her own death with such grace and joy as the man who sat before her.
If John was waiting for her she certainly could.
Chapter Forty-Three
For last sights, you couldn’t go wrong with the cove, Fiona thought as she and Aiden walked slowly along the path that would lead them to the top of the cliffs that hugged the enchanted waters. Their pace was slow, as though they didn’t have a care in the world, and their thoughts were their own. Small talk had no place in a moment like this.
Fiona smiled as Ronan raced across the field, his ears streaming behind him, chasing after some imaginary fierce beast. She could just make out a wisp of smoke from over the ridgeline― and it comforted her to know that her family was safe and warm on this solstice day.
They finally reached the beginning of the path and Fiona pulled a worn tartan blanket from the tote bag she carried and held it up to Aiden.
“Shall we sit?”
Relief passed across Aiden’s face. Even though he’d been showing good health over the last day, Fiona reminded herself that he was still very, very sick. She fluffed the blanket out in the grass by the side of the cliff and then offered her arm to Aiden. He lowered himself awkwardly to the ground, his weight slightly difficult for Fiona to support. A sigh escaped him as he settled himself and Fiona sat next to him, pulling a second blanket from her tote.
“And one to keep us warm,” Fiona said, unfolding it and draping it over Aiden’s shoulders, and then pulling it around herself until they were cocooned in the soft wool. Ronan ran back and nuzzled between them, panting with exertion, his furry body radiating heat between the two of them.
The cove lay at their feet― picture perfect on this grey day, its waters serene. The mood was calm, the waters unfazed by the enormity of the weight carried on the shoulders of the man sitting above them. Fiona took that as a good sign― that things would transition well for Aiden. A gentle sort of mood began to fill her as she watched the hypnotic rhythm of the waves rolling onto the beach and returning back into the cove.
Finally, Fiona embraced the calm. She found her own sort of peace with Aiden’s happiness at leaving this world.
Relax, the water seemed to say, it’s all a circle. He’ll know nothing but happiness, the cove whispered to her on the wind. Fiona almost wondered if the trip to the cove had been for her or for Aiden. Leaning over a little, she bumped shoulders with him.
“I’m going to miss you my friend. But, the cove, well, it seems to be telling me that you’ll enjoy an easy transition. You’ll be at peace and you’ll be so happy to be back in Serena’s arms.”
Aiden looked at her and his face positively glowed with happiness.
“This was a good choice. Just look at it here― it’s really everything, isn’t it? The cliffs jutting so proudly into the sky― the waters so stunning that wash onto these shores. They’ve seen thousands of years of change, sadness, love, life, and death. I’m going to leave this world and be planted in another. I’m as much a part of the fabric of this world as I am of the next.”
Threads, Fiona thought. They were all threads woven together in the fabric of the universe.
“Would you like me to scatter your ashes here?” Fiona asked. They had discussed a few different funeral arrangements for him, but had yet to settle on one. Aiden had said it was too morbid and that he would leave it in instructions in a packet by his bed.
“No need to get all maudlin on me, Fiona,” Aiden said gravely, and Fiona chuckled, bumping him again with her shoulder.
“I’m not the one choosing to die, you know,” Fiona pointed out.
“Aye, you aren’t at that. I think after the cove, I’d like to sit by the fire for a bit, with the Yule log lit. I have a few more things I wish to write. When the evening comes, I’m going to retire to my bedroom. I’ll ask that you leave me be, until you know for sure I’m gone. I’d like to greet death on my own,” Aiden said softly.
Fiona considered his words as she stared out at the water of the cove, the low winter light turning the water almost slate blue.
“Aye, I’ll be honoring a dying man’s wishes, won’t I?” Fiona said lightly.
“You’re a fine woman, Fiona. I’ll be sure to stop by in your dreams and say hello one of these days,” Aiden teased, and Fiona found she could smile― even in her sadness.
“Shall we?” Aiden asked.
“We shall,” Fiona rose, pulling the blanket with her and reaching out a hand to Aiden to pull him up. He turned and began to walk slowly towards the car, while Fiona bent to lift the blanket they had been sitting on and shake it out.
Ronan’s soft bark made her head shoot up.
A brilliant blue light, ethereal and stunning in its display, shone deep from the slate blue waters of the cove. Fiona’s mouth dropped open as she spun around to look at Aiden and then back to the cove.
“But… but…” Fiona whispered, as tears sprang immediately to her eyes. If the cove was telling her that Aiden was meant to be her true love, well, it had really crappy timing. It didn’t even make sense, Fiona seethed in her head, as she shook her fist at the waters. She didn’t even have romantic feelings for Aiden.
“I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me,” Fiona finally said, feeling hopeless and angry at the cove― at the bloodline that had given her these gifts. The water had shone once for her― for her true love of her life. It wasn’t supposed to shine again for Aiden.
Confused, a mix of sadness and anger making her feel a little sick to her stomach, Fiona turned her back on the cove and followed Aiden, Ronan at her side.
And vowed to follow a dying man’s wishes to a T, irrespective of what the cove was trying to tell her.
Chapter Forty-Four
“I’ve got the Yule log started,” Aiden called.
Fiona had gone to the guest room when they’d returned. She’d needed to change and shake the chill from her bones that had followed her from the cove.
/> “Would you like a tea? Another Irish coffee?” Fiona asked as she came into the main room.
Aiden saluted her with a glass of whiskey from where he sat by the fire, a pretty Yule log just starting to burn in the fireplace. He pointed to another glass with whiskey by the overstuffed armchair next to him.
Fiona took it and curled up in the chair, sipping the whiskey slowly as she watched the flames. So much of life was contemplated over the flames of a fire, she thought.
“You’ll keep this going for me? After? The whole twelve days?” Aiden asked.
“I suppose I can manage that,” Fiona said with a smile.
They passed the afternoon there, trading stories of times past, before Fiona finally grew silent and just listened to Aiden talk about his life with Serena and all the things he was looking forward to about seeing her again. It made her heart sad, and filled her with loneliness for the first time in a really long time. A part of her desperately wanted to say she would being seeing her love soon as well.
As the shadows grew longer and the light outside grew dim, Aiden turned to her.
“It’s time.”
“I think I will stay out here. Take comfort by the fire,” Fiona said softly, sadness already seeping through her.
Aiden stood as did Fiona and wrapped her in his arms. She leaned into his comforting weight, his arms around her feeling solid, and pressed her face to his chest. They stood like that for a moment, no words needing to be said, as love surrounded them both.
Fiona desperately wanted to reach out with her hands and heal him. Instead, she stepped back and looked up at him.
“Safe travels, my friend,” Fiona whispered, her hand to his cheek. He turned to kiss her palm lightly― almost as a lover would.
“You’ve honored my life greatly by being in it― as well as allowing me to end it on my terms. It’s been a pleasure and an honor to have been graced with you in my life,” Aiden said, bringing his fingers up to his forehead in a salute.
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