I gave it my all, struggling with every step.
He kept talking.
“You’ll get that hand taken care of. I need to get this nose fixed. It’s broke, like crushed.”
“I’m sorry. How far … Adam?” I asked.
“Maybe five or six miles.”
I may not have been able to talk, but I could do math, at our pace it would be hours of walking. “We’re … we’re out of the danger zone, right?”
“I don’t know. I think so. When Chernobyl happened, there was a town called Pripyat. It was twenty some miles away. They weren’t evacuated and they got sick. It depends on the wind.”
“I’m sorry. I wish we knew.”
“Wait. We do.” He stopped walking. After warning me he was letting go, he removed his arm from my waist and grabbed the knapsack. He reached inside, pulled out a small flashlight, then reached in again. “Here.”
“What ... what is it?”
“The colonel gave me a dosimeter card.” He showed me the credit card size object. I couldn’t make it out too well, it was blurry. “It’ll tell us if we’re exposed.” He lit the flashlight on it.
“Well?”
He put the card and flashlight away, slung the pack over his shoulder and held on to me again. “Yeah, we are.”
“Fuck. Shoot me now,” I said. “Broken ribs, pneumonia, a dead hand and now radiation sickness.”
West laughed, it was good to hear that, almost like a medicine, a medicine that didn’t last long.
My legs gave way and with every step I nearly toppled to the ground.
“Okay, alright, let’s give you a break.”
“Thank you.”
When he said that, I thought we’d sit down, I didn’t expect him to lift me. He did. He took me into his arms, adjusted my weight the best he could, and West carried me.
My head rested against his shoulder, I knew he struggled. I could feel it in the way he walked. Staggering footsteps, occasional buckling of his knees.
“Put me down,” I said. “We can stop.”
“We can’t stop.”
“A few minutes, we’ll be fine.”
“A few minutes can be deadly.”
“West.”
He stopped walking.
I thought it was to take that rest, but then I saw headlights. The car neared us and stopped.
“West?”
“Oh my God.”
I heard the car door open. I lifted my head but couldn’t see. “What is it?”
“Shane.”
<><><><>
The car wasn’t big, it reminded me a lot of my own when they placed me in the back. Very little room and hard seats. It didn’t matter though, they laid me across the back seat. Hearing that it was Shane made my mind race with questions. What was he doing there? Why ... was he there?
I know West had the same questions, and I tried to listen. However, there was a noise in the car the moment they shut the door, a constant noise, steady, high pitched, almost a short airy squeak that combined with my ringing ears, and the special effects tone to their voices made deciphering exactly what they said difficult. But I got the gist of it.
“Attacked,” West said.
“Oh my God.”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t look it.”
“I am. She’s not.”
Squeak. Squeal. What is that sound?
“There’s a doctor at the Walmart,” West said.
“Adam, yeah. He needs help evacuating,” he replied. “That’s how I knew where you …”
Squeal, Squeal. The noise drowned out what he said.
“Does he have cars there?” West asked. “Get her to Lynchburg and I’ll …”
The noise again. What was it?
“That could work,” Shane said. “Maybe he can give Audrey something to help her until Lynchburg.”
“We’ll stop.” Through my clouded vision, I saw West look back at me. “We have to.”
Squeak, Squeal, Squeak. The noise grow even louder. Didn’t they hear it?
“How?” West asked. “I’m mean what are you …?”
Their words faded even more, the noise in the car increased in volume and in my anxiety, my heartbeat joined the chorus of ringing in my ears., Their conversation become bits of words.
“Waynes …”
“Are … serious.”
“Note.”
“Shit.”
Suddenly, as the last of their voices faded, I figured out what the noise was. It wasn’t the brakes, it wasn’t the engine, it wasn’t the car at all, it was me. I made the noise, it came from my body, my struggling lungs. It was the sound of my struggles, my gasping for every breath that I took.
I was dying.
35 – DREAMS OF SPLENDOR
It was bits and pieces. That was all I had. Bits and pieces of things that happened in the short ride.
“Shane is going to take you,” West said. “I’ll be there as soon as I help Adam.”
Vividly, I remembered my encounter with Adam. I woke to find him leaning into me, a look of confidence and compassion on his face.
“You got this, Audrey,” he said. “I aspirated that left lung. Now, that will make you feel comfortable. Rest.”
There it was, my confirmation. Or so I thought.
He was making me feel comfortable because he didn’t want my last moments of life in pain.
The noise had stopped and the struggle to breathe had lessened, I was going to float away.
I did, but not in death like I imagined. My body felt as if it sunk into a thick soft pillow and I fell fast asleep. A deep slumber that carried emotions and thoughts from my conscious mind.
Wishful thinking projected itself in my dream.
If I had strived for anything in my life it was to raise my children to be good people. Individuals who were kind and caring. They didn’t need to be doctors or lawyers, they could work anywhere, do anything, as long as they were happy and good people.
Of that I had failed with Michael.
There was still hope for Molly, if I lived to see it.
I got a traffic ticket not one year earlier, my first and only traffic ticket in my life. I was sipping my drink through a straw and was pulled over for distracted driving. The judge reamed me so badly, one would have thought I committed murder. That judge, Judge Manning made into my dream. It was the oddest, lucid dream. He sat on the bench, gavel in hand, glaring at me.
A jury of my peers and included Ken, Michael, that Tall Man who tried to kill me and some random woman I didn’t know.
“You brought this on yourself,” Manning scolded. “Look at you. Sick, dying, pathetic. You complained your family left, yet you did the same thing. Your condition worsened, you were beaten. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Mom,” Michael said. “Why didn’t you stay home?”
Ken shook his head.
“Back up,” shouted Tall Man. “Back up.”
What the hell? Why was he saying anything?
“You’re trying to kill me,” I said.
“Not at all.” Tall Man said. “Back up.”
“Audrey, Audrey,” the woman spoke from the jury box. “Lose the hand, save your life.”
“Take it.”
“No. She’s weak,” yelled Tall Man. “Back up.”
“She’s strong,” said Michael. “Mom, you’re strong. Do it.”
“Why do you care?” I asked Michael. “You hate me.”
“I don’t hate you, I love you.”
“Back up.”
“We have to do it now.”
“Do it.”
“Back up.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Mom.”
Again, it happened, the exterior sound of Michael’s voice waking me. I opened my eyes. I was on my back staring up, everything was blurry
“Someone put her under,” a woman’s voice called. “We have to move.”
A man in scrubs extended a mask was over
my face, covering my nose and mouth. I felt the cool air hit against my nostrils and when the man stepped back, I saw him.
It had to be part of my predeath delusion. He stood there, staring at me as they rolled me away. It had to be a hallucination, because there was no way, no how, Michael was there.
36 – TED JENKINS CAR
For the first time since the event I was able to feel my fingers. I could wiggle them, bend them, one of them even itched and that was after they amputated my entire right hand at the wrist. I was expecting that, it still didn’t lessen the shock.
I was placed into a coma, heavily sedated after surgery. Of course I don’t remember any of it. My lung collapsed, I had pneumonia, three cracked ribs, a bruised larynx and a dash of radiation sickness. Until they could confirm that no surges were on the way, at least for a few days, I had to be ventilated by hand. A tedious task which meant someone had to squeeze the bulb to simulate my breathing.
With the coma and all the sleeping, I was going to be the most well rested person in the apocalypse.
Though still weak, I woke with a clearer head and less pain. I was alone when I opened my eyes. I was in a white cloth tent lit by a kerosene lantern. It was late at night, I felt that. I kept thinking, “My God, if that falls over, I’m toast.”
Shane was the first person I saw, he stepped into the tent shortly after I woke. Then I saw him. My vision wasn’t blurry, he was crystal clear. He held a cup of coffee and froze as if seeing me awake was unexpected.
He looked good. His hair was clean and combed, his clothing neat.
“You’re up,” he smiled.
“Yeah.” I tried to moisten my lips. “I’m really thirsty.”
“I’ll get you something. Stay right here, I mean … wait.” He ran out almost nervously.
I closed my eyes, hearing an exchange of words, I recognized the voice to be West, he sounded tired and hoarse.
“You sure?” West asked.
“Yeah.”
“Go on. I’ll take the water.”
I wanted badly to sit up, or at least adjust myself to move a little, but it was impossible with the missing appendage. I would have to learn things all over again. Using only my left hand, pushed me sideways.
“Not going to be so easy for a little while,” West said, walking in. “It’s good to see you up.”
“It’s good to see you. Really good. Thank you for everything.”
“Nah.” He brought the water over.
“I need to sit up some.”
“Here.” He placed the water on the table, then reached for the back of the cot. “Let me give you a hand.”
Pause.
I just looked at him.
“I didn’t … I didn’t mean it that way,” West said.
“It’s okay. I’m alive, right? So it’s funny.”
Once he had me up, he sat down and brought the straw of the cup to my mouth and instructed me to drink slowly.
I did and I noticed how different he looked. His color was off, he was slightly pale and his busted nose wasn’t healing correctly. He wore a baseball cap to cover up the fact that his brown and gray locks were gone.
“West. Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, just a little radiation sickness. No worries, you still have your hair. I was moving too many people. I’m getting better.”
“How long have I been out?”
“A week. They expected you to get up tomorrow. Long enough to get some color, you sound and look good. Where the hell is that damn doctor?” he looked over his shoulder, then sighed.
“So … while you were out, you didn’t happen to find my family?”
“No,” he replied, then paused. “But Shane did.”
“Wait. What?” As soon as I questioned what he said, the tent flap opened and Michael limped in holding a very sleepy looking Molly perched on his hip. “Oh my God.” My words shook and I whimpered. I was blasted by the sight of them, I didn’t believe I was awake, I thought it was all part of those crazy dreams I had. My son looked different. It didn’t make sense with all that happened, he looked healthy. Something I hadn’t seen on him in a long time. “Michael. You’re alive.”
West looked at me curiously. “I thought you knew. Shane said you knew.”
“Mom, you saw me when you came in.”
I shook my head. “I thought it was a hallucination. Oh my God.” I reached for him and my daughter, realizing I didn’t have a hand to grab them with.
“We’ll come on your other side.” Michael walked over, he lowered Molly down for me to kiss.
“Mama sick?” Molly asked.
“Mama’s sick, baby.”
Molly snuggled against Michael’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I am so sorry. I …” Michael broke down, his word fast becoming sobs.
“Mike,” West spoke soft and firm. “What did I tell you? Okay?”
Michael looked at West and nodded.
I had no idea what he meant, but my son leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. He whispered, “Thanks for not quitting on me.”
“I will never, ever quit on you,” I said. “Never. How ... how did you get here?”
“Hey,” Shane blurted out happily as he stepped back in. “Sorry. I’m interrupting.”
“No.” I shook my head. “West said you found my family.”
“Well, it was luck actually.” Shane scratched his head. “The colonel, you know what she’s like, she went with me to Waynesboro and insisted I follow her down here. I left the note like you asked by the way. And when we got here …” He pointed at Michael. “He came hobbling over, looking.”
“I always made my way over when new people came,” Michael said. “Shane recognized me.”
“Actually, it was Molly,” Shane winked. “You look a bit different than the picture. You were like seventeen in it. So … it was luck. I told him about you, told him to stay put and I chased after you guys. I didn’t want you heading to Fredericksburg. The Walmart doctor told me which route you took.”
“How did you end up here?” I asked.
Michael stepped back and pointed down to the cast on his leg. “My bike ran out of gas before everything stopped. I was just about in town walking the highway when cars started crashing and planes fell. I can’t tell you how many times I was almost hit. It was like a video game. But I made it, I was in the clear, and then I get to your street and Ted Jenkins hits me with his car when he was killed by a surge.”
“Roy never mentioned that.”
Shane cleared his throat. “Um, remember you didn’t ask. Roy rambled and then he …. well died.”
“He knew though,” Michael said. “Ken took me and Molly, we got in an old car, left before everyone else to try to get help. We followed a rumor and it brought us here. I thought … I thought Ken was going to kill me, Mom. I thought when he found out I left … but he didn’t. He said he knew you were at least safe.”
In all my excitement over my children, I felt guilty for not asking. Perhaps a part of me was afraid to hear the truth, but I had to ask. “Michael, where’s Ken now?”
Michael shook his head. “I don’t know. He left about ten days ago to look for you. We haven’t heard from him. He said to wait here or go home.”
“He’ll be back. I’m sure of it,” I said. “He’ll be back.”
Suddenly, right there in that moment, all of my injuries and sicknesses seemed minuscule in the scope of things. I witnessed what I believed was a miracle.
I had missed my son long before the event, I wanted him back and as I looked at him, holding his sister, he was returning to me.
I wanted to find my family, and even though it was an obscure way, I had. Without West and Shane, none of it would have been possible. I owed them my life, and I would be forever grateful, they ... were part of us now, a part of my family.
It wouldn’t be long, I believed, before Ken joined us. We would all forge forward. The world would be a different place, but one we would all conq
uer. We would do it together.
37 – NOT ABOUT YOU
Three Years Later
While West checked the bridle on the horse, I examined the crates he placed in the cart. Something was wrong.
“Did Shane make a mistake?” I asked. “Get my instructions wrong?”
“Nope.” West replied. “Do you have the water? Food? It’s gonna be cold tonight. Grab us an extra blanket. And my scarf. My nose hurts like a bitch when it’s cold.”
“Not my problem,” I said.
“You don’t think?” He looked at me over the top of his glasses.
“Hmm,” I grumbled. “Okay, so Shane got my instructions. Did Michael miscount then?”
“Nope.”
“But there’s less back there than last month.”
“Yep.”
“Oh, stop with the one word answers.”
“Audrey, I told Michael less.”
“Why?” I asked. “Demand has increased.”
“And if we keep meeting that than our price goes down. Nope, let’s make it a valued commodity. Winter’s coming. We need to stock up. Go kiss Molly, do your ten minute goodbye routine and let's hit the road. Go.”
“Fine.” I stormed off hearing him shout about the scarf.
It was typical of us, always bantering before we went somewhere. West and I had become best friends, and in a way partners in the new world.
Things were different.
The world itself became a different place. The reliance on electronics trickled away until we didn’t need them anymore. We missed them, but didn’t need them. The sun still burped here and there and it wasn’t worth taking a chance. The Colonel said it was a new cycle of the sun. It used to be X-class flares were frightening over the minor disturbances they would cause, now we longed for those days.
Without means of long range communication, we had no clue what was happening with the rest of the world. Gone were the days of waking up to news of global conflict, or fear of terrorism and war. I suppose one day it will all come back, when future generations try to make life easier again.
As for us, we kept it simple.
For as big as it was, the habitable landmass was smaller, much smaller. It worked because so was the population.
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