by Ally Decker
"Sure. I will bring that coffee to you in a few."
Shawn would gladly stay at this desk for longer, maybe even drink his coffee with Alicia here, but he had other things to do. He'd almost forgotten he had the client meeting in an hour.
Alone in his office, he paused in the middle of the room and stared at the view behind the windows. It was his way of balancing himself, following the edges of buildings, mapping the picture in his mind.
He had a feeling he was going to need all the help he could get.
CHAPTER THREE
Alicia had no idea what was going on with Shawn, but she had felt on edge ever since he had come into the office with Fiona Sheppard.
Fiona was a beautiful woman, tall, with long blond hair and legs that looked great in the red stilettos she was wearing. She was not even forty and already the CEO of Ineara, one of the biggest media companies on the East Coast. Alicia recognized her right away.
When Shawn went to look for Dean and left Fiona with her in the foyer, Alicia suddenly felt out of place. Like she wasn't where she was supposed to be, like there was no space for her here.
It might as well be her. Because Alicia wasn't stupid or naïve. One day, maybe sooner rather than later, Shawn was going to find a woman he'd fall in love with. The woman he'd like to be with, maybe get married, have a family. It was bound to happen at some point, and Alicia had tried to prepare herself for that, but it was going as well as other things she'd tried to do to fall out of love with the man. So, in short, not terribly well.
Then Alicia noticed a gold band on Fiona's finger and discarded the idea of anything going on between her and Shawn.
Unless that's what the current problem was about, the traitorous voice in the back of her mind supplied. She was married and they fell in love, and now they needed someone to fix it for them... Alicia shook her head, fighting the sudden tightness in her chest. No, it was something else. Shawn might be a flirt, but he wouldn't do this. He wouldn't get involved with a married woman. Alicia had heard him say he hated cheaters enough times to be sure of that.
She got a hold of herself just in time for Shawn to come back with Dean in tow and introduce him to Fiona. Then Alicia acted her part, being supportive and concerned, even joking with him, but not asking any questions.
She wasn't sure she wanted to know.
She buried herself in work to stop thinking about Shawn, and it worked fine until Dean appeared with Fiona two hours later, walking her out.
When Dean didn't go back to his office right after Fiona left, Alicia looked up at him from her computer. He was watching her with his head tilted.
"Do you need anything?" she asked.
"No—Well, yes, let me know when Shawn will be free. We need to talk through some things."
Alicia nodded, but Dean still didn't move.
"At least they're not together," he finally said. "It was bound to happen that he'd one day walk in here with something like this, but at least he's not really involved in it."
She didn't know how to react, but Dean didn't wait for it, anyway. He turned around and went back to his office, leaving Alicia staring after him.
Dean was the least talkative of the bunch, and sometimes he barely said anything at all. He was always polite towards her, but she could count on one hand the not-work-related conversations she'd had with him where there was no one else present.
So why now? Did he need to vent? Did he want to tell her something?
God, did he know?
Alicia had no idea what he meant by "something like this", but she couldn't deny that she breathed out a little easier when he said Fiona and Shawn weren't together. But now the fear of being found out was back with a vengeance.
Maybe you're reading too much into it, she told herself, clicking her favorite pen on and off. Maybe he just needed to vent, maybe he was irritated Shawn had dumped it onto his lap? Whatever the reason, it probably have nothing to do with Alicia. All in all, she had no reason to be included in anything involving Shawn's private life.
And that thought hurt more than she was willing to admit.
***
At their weekly team lunch a few hours later, the guys couldn't agree on almost anything involving Fiona Sheppard's case and what it meant for Shawn. Good thing there were three of them and someone always got outvoted, or they would get nothing done. The back and forth seemed endless today.
Alicia and Kevin were usually invited to contribute their opinions at these meetings, but they tended to stay away when the things seemed heated or, in this case, too personal.
Finally, the partners agreed that Shawn should hide from the public for the time being. Nate worried it might be seen as admitting guilt, but he was outvoted by Dean and Shawn, so he relented.
"Enjoy all the parties." Shawn grinned wolfishly. "Maybe ask Claire out to a nice party for a change."
"Yes, because she's dying to go," Nate said with a grimace. His girlfriend was an NYPD detective with a senator for a father, and she hated public appearances of any kind.
"Most of them are for a good cause, so maybe she'd appreciate that, at least."
"Why don't you tell her that?"
Shawn raised his hands. "Claire owns a gun. I'm not suicidal."
"I'll be sure to let her know what you think, though. And whose idea it was for me to go to all these." Nate waved the list of the public appearances he was supposed to do now that Shawn was lying low. "You're taking at least two of them," he told Dean, who rolled his eyes.
"Sure, because it will definitely help us when I accidentally insult someone. Good thinking, Nate."
"Accidentally my ass," Nate muttered under his breath, but didn't push further. "Let's go back to Shawn, then. If he's staying under the radar, he can't handle his own press."
Dean nodded at the same time Shawn shook his head.
Alicia exchanged looks with Kevin. It was going to be a long lunch.
***
It was close to eight before she dealt with all the paperwork and things needed for the rest of the week. She usually stayed up late on Mondays, but it set up her work for the next few days nicely, so she liked that trade-off.
Usually, at least one of the partners would be working late too, but tonight it seemed like everyone stayed. The bomb from this morning threw them a bit out of the loop, and they were playing catch up. Shawn was particularly jittery. Other than two client meetings he'd had, he was out of his office every twenty minutes or so, either coming to her desk for something he usually called her in for, or going to bug Kevin. At first, he was dropping by Nate or Dean, too, when they were available, but they'd both had to finally throw him out, since he stopped doing that after lunch.
Alicia would be happy about seeing more of Shawn, but whenever he showed up at her desk, he seemed more tense. She tried to find something to make him feel better, but aside from the chocolate she'd already given him and talking him out of his fourth coffee of the day, she didn't think she'd helped much.
Shawn's office door opened again right after she turned her computer off for the day. He came strolling out, hands in his pockets and sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. Alicia tightened the grip on her phone and tried not to imagine running her fingers over the veins running up right under his skin.
"You heading out?" he asked, pausing at her desk.
She cleared her throat. "Yes, it's getting late. Do you need something before I go?"
"No, no, go on. You've been here longer than any of us today." He ran a hand over the back of his neck. "Maybe I should leave, too. It's not like I'm getting anything done."
"Heading home is a good idea, then," Alicia said and then, suddenly, she found herself adding, "I'm going to stop by Scone Cold for some Monday night scones. You're welcome to come with, if you want."
What the hell are you doing? The alarm bells that went off inside her head were almost loud enough to drown out her suddenly wild heartbeat.
Shawn looked at her, with his hand still on the ba
ck of his neck, and the smile he gave her made any warnings in her head irrelevant.
"That is the best idea I've heard all day," he said, straightening up and rolling his shoulders. It looked as if he dropped a huge weight off of them by doing so. "Would you wait five minutes?"
"Sure." She smiled, sitting back in her chair. "I'll be here."
She watched him march back to his office with more energy than she saw from him the entire day. She might have acted on impulse, asking him out for the scones, of all things, but it turned out to be a good idea.
She grinned down on her lap, glad there was no one there to witness it.
CHAPTER FOUR
Shawn laughed so hard he almost dumped half his scone on the pavement. Half an hour ago, he wouldn't believe anything could save his day, but as it turned out, going out with Alicia for a snack was just what he needed.
Her laughter just made him grin harder.
"I swear, I didn't know it was going to happen. One second I'm balancing everything right, the next I'm on the ground, my boss's skirt is covered in chocolate ice cream, and my report I worked half the night on is flying away page after page. It looked like a movie in slow motion." She shook her head with a chuckle. "I'm laughing now, but I was terrified. Later, it turned out I'd lost maybe ten pages, and I could just print them again, but in that moment, it was like the epitome of the worst thing possible."
"Did she fire you over that?"
He regretted the question when Alicia's mouth twisted from a smile to a grimace.
"Not officially, no. But she never gave me another project like this again, and because of that, I was stuck, unable to move up in the company. Or even develop my skills, really. Six months later, my contract was up and that was it."
"Do you wish you had stayed there?"
She raised her eyebrows. "Is that a tricky question? Since, you know, I wouldn't be working for you now."
Shawn snorted. "Forget about it, I'm glad you didn't stay there."
"I'm glad, too," Alicia told him, and he smiled before licking the cinnamon from his fingers. It had been over a year since Sylvia, Nate's sister and their former office manager, had left the firm and Alicia had taken her place. And as much as Shawn missed Sylvia, he couldn't imagine the company without Alicia now. She not only made the firm run smoothly, she also kept him grounded. There were days when he felt adrift, and Alicia's presence behind that desk made him anchor himself better. Made him stay more present.
They walked down the street in comfortable silence, and Shawn felt as if the tension was draining out of him with every step. Sure, he still had no idea how the whole thing with the Sheppards' divorce was going to play out, but tomorrow was another day, and for now, Shawn could enjoy his evening.
"I should get going," Alicia said finally, when their scones were gone and they were doing another loop around the block.
"Let's go back. I'll drop you off." Shawn tilted his head in the direction of the office.
"Matt's waiting for you?"
Matt was Shawn's usual driver and the most patient person he had ever met. Shawn nodded.
"My place isn't on your way," Alicia said, but he didn't let her finish.
"We'll take a detour, come on. Besides, Matt will have a lot of early nights in the upcoming weeks with me being grounded."
Alicia offered him a small smile, but his stomach tensed again at the reminder of the contingency plans. He hated the thought of going into hiding.
"Hey, maybe you'd be able to convince Nate to use the company car more."
Shawn chuckled. "I didn't think of that! You're right, he'll have to take the car to all the parties."
In theory, Matt was the company's driver, but the other two partners usually avoided using the company car. Nate loved his own vintage Corvette, and Dean hated being driven around ever since he'd left the military. Shawn had felt weird at first, being the only one who was chauffeured around, but the guys had told him to get over himself and enjoy it, if he liked it.
"We need the car anyway, may as well use it," Dean had told him, and that was that.
"Thanks for inviting me tonight." Shawn looked at Alicia as he led her back to their parking lot. "It really helped."
She grinned, showing dimples that never failed to make Shawn smile.
"My pleasure. It was nice to have company."
"I'm game for the next time, too, just tell me when. If I'm not buried under a case, I'll join you." He hesitated. Damn, he shouldn't have put her on the spot like this. "Or not. Don't feel obligated or anything."
The last thing he wanted was for Alicia to feel responsible for babysitting him. Her time after work was hers alone.
"Okay, I'll remember that." She was still smiling, so Shawn didn't think he stepped over the line, but she probably wouldn't tell him to piss off if she didn't feel like dealing with him. They were all friendly at work and tried to foster a good atmosphere in the office, and he liked talking to her throughout the day, but she was still an employee.
He needed to remember that.
***
Shawn stepped into his apartment, dropped his things in their usual places, and took off his jacket before he sat down on the couch. And that was when it hit him.
He was suddenly a client of his own firm, and he had a taste of what some of their clients went through. He had to pretend and act the part that wasn't really him in effort to present to the world what they wanted the public to see.
He guessed he should consider himself lucky what he needed to convince the world of was actually the truth.
He burrowed deeper into the cushions and closed his eyes. He wished he could fast forward a few weeks and go back to his normal routines, but he wasn't sure he would be able to completely move on even after the scandal blew over. Would he hesitate the next time he as much as talked with an attractive woman? Would he become an easy target for other people looking to cast the blame in their marriages? He had never in his life knowingly slept with a married woman, but it didn't seem to matter to anyone but himself.
Well, it wasn't exactly true—everyone at the office believed him. But Dean and Nate were his best friends, Kevin had become one of his closest friends as well and he knew about Shawn's distaste for cheating, and Alicia... Alicia accepted his truth, too, not even once looking like she was doubting him.
And Shawn had looked for the signs of doubt. For some reason, it was very important to him that she believed him, and the relief he felt was surprising in its intensity.
He had the support of his friends and colleagues, which, he figured, was what counted the most. The public might gasp and point fingers, but then they'd move on to the next story, next target. After a while, he'd be free.
He just needed to get to that point.
Shawn winced and hauled himself off the couch. Sitting around feeling sorry for himself wouldn't get him anywhere. He needed a distraction.
As if on cue, his phone started ringing, and Dean's ID flashed on the screen.
"What's up?" Shawn asked, picking up his jacket on his way to the closet down the corridor to his bedroom.
"You home?"
He put the phone between his shoulder and ear to hang his jacket. "Just got here."
"Great. Want to spar? The gym's empty."
Shawn considered it for a second. "Yeah. Give me five, and I'll be down there." One of the advantages of living in the same building with Dean and Nate was the ease of last minute plans. It was like being in college again, save for much more luxurious conditions of their chosen home.
Dean snorted. "Sure. See you in ten," he said and hung up, not giving Shawn a chance to protest. But that was probably wise, since they all knew Shawn's tendency to miss his self-imposed time constraints when he wasn't working. He wasn't sure how that happened, how his mind could count well when he was at work, but miscalculate when he wasn't. It was what it was, though. Everyone around him grew accustomed to it eventually.
Shawn blinked down at his phone, snapping back to the
present and seeing the time. "Damn it," he muttered and rushed to his bedroom.
***
Shawn rolled on the mat, but didn't get up. He lay on his back, breathing fast, and blinked the sweat off of his eyelids since he didn't feel like lifting his arms anymore.
"Okay, I'm done," he gasped out harshly, turning his head towards Dean, who stood to the side. The asshole was fighting his grin as he worked to take his gloves off. "That's not funny, I feel like I'm dying."
Dean snorted. "You're not dying. But maybe if you'd come down here more often, you wouldn't lose so terribly next time."
"I have never in my life won a sparring match against you." Shawn narrowed his eyes. "Come to think of it, I'm not sure why we even keep doing this, me and Nate. He hasn't won with you, either."
"You don't try hard enough," Dean told him, tossing his gloves to the side. "Kevin's succeeded a few times."
"Kevin was in the military, just like you. If anyone from our team can kick your ass, it's him."
Dean smirked. "If Claire ever steps in for Nate, I'd be in trouble, too."
Shawn laughed as he slowly sat up. "That's true. I wouldn't like to mess with her, either."
"She'd definitely kick your ass. Nate's, too, but for the sake of their relationship, let's never allow them to try that."
"Claire's a detective with Major Crimes. I'm pretty sure he knows she can kick his ass."
The water bottle appeared right in front of his face and Shawn took it with a deep sigh.
"I love you, you're the best," he told Dean before drowning half the bottle.
"Five minutes ago, you were cursing my heritage and everything I stand for, as I recall."
Shawn paused with a shrug. "You weren't the best then."
Dean snorted again before turning and leaving the mat. He grabbed the towel and wiped down most of the sweat as he turned to stare at Shawn, who raised his eyebrows.