by Andrew Grey
“I think your dad would be proud of you no matter what. He’d want you to do your best, but you’ve got guts the rest of us don’t have.” Todd got on the freeway and headed north toward where Duncan and his mother lived.
“Don’t feed me a line of bullshit about how strong I am because I’ve learned to live with this….”
Todd growled slightly but kept his voice even. “I meant that it takes strength to envision a new life for yourself. Do you think everyone copes as well as you have? I doubt it. Give yourself some credit.”
“For what, not being able to walk?”
Todd groaned. “How about for figuring out a way to move forward? There are plenty of people who aren’t able to walk, and they move through life just fine.” The poor-me routine was getting a little old and he wanted to put a stop to it. “You can have whatever life you want. All you have to do is be willing to go out and get it. So you may never walk again, and there will be other things you can’t do. But there is plenty you can, and that’s what you should concentrate on.”
“Is that your advice?” Duncan challenged.
“You might give it a shot rather than being angry with me for trying to help.” Todd merged right, took the exit, and pulled to a stop at the end. “This is frustrating as hell for you, I know that, and I want to help, but I don’t know what to do. Okay?”
Duncan nodded. “Sorry. There’s nothing you can do to help. This is one of those things that no one can change. I have to get used to it.”
“That’s what I’m trying to say. You don’t need to get used to it. You need to learn what you can do and try to do a little more each day. I’ll help you if you want.” This was more frustrating than he expected. Todd took a deep breath and pulled out all the patience he had. Duncan was hurting, and he was frustrated, but it had nothing to do with Todd. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”
“I don’t know,” Duncan whispered, more like a prayer than anything else. “I don’t want to feel this way. I want to be like I was again.”
“Maybe this is the new normal,” Todd offered, and Duncan shrugged and hung his head. Todd felt completely useless. Maybe he should just keep his mouth shut and let Duncan do the talking. He certainly didn’t seem to be helping, his advice coming out as stupid platitudes because he was at a loss for anything else. Duncan needed more than that, though Todd had nothing better at the moment.
“I know it. That’s what scares the shit out of me. What if things don’t get any better? Am I supposed to live with my mother for the rest of my life?” Duncan shuddered, and Todd stifled a chuckle.
“Of course not. You’re perfectly capable of living on your own, and you know it. You did it before, and you can do it again. Being in a chair doesn’t mean your life is over.” Though if Todd tried to imagine himself in one, a cold chill went up his spine. If he were honest, Duncan’s accident had brought home just how dangerous the sport he loved was.
He navigated through the suburban streets before turning onto Duncan’s road. The house seemed quiet, and there was no car in the drive.
“Do you want to come in?” The skeptical expression told Todd that Duncan expected him to get Duncan inside and then dash away like he had the plague.
“Sure.” Todd climbed out of the car and went around to slide the chair out. Then he followed Duncan up the ramp, where he unlocked the house and went inside. Duncan excused himself and rolled down the hall. Todd sat in the nearest chair, waiting for him to return. He should have gotten the small sodas, since he’d probably gone a little overboard and needed the bathroom.
Duncan came back a few minutes later. “Can you help me sit on the sofa?”
Todd nodded and lifted Duncan out of the chair, cradling him against his chest. The heat washing off him was seductive in itself, and with Duncan’s arms around him, it gave the illusion of intimacy that Todd would have liked to have last longer. He placed Duncan on the sofa and heard him sigh.
“You have no idea what it feels like to be able to sit in a regular seat like an adult. I go from my bed to the chair, to the toilet to the chair. I eat in it and even nap in it. Mom can’t lift me like that, so I spend almost all my waking time in the damn thing.”
“Do you want me to get you anything?” Todd asked.
“I’m good, thanks.”
Duncan reached for the television remote and nearly tumbled off the sofa. Todd caught him and settled Duncan back on the cushions, then handed him the remote, not saying anything about it. “Maybe we can find a movie or something to watch.” He turned on the television and within seconds had RED 2 playing.
“I love this movie,” Todd said, and they settled in to watch. It had been a long time since he’d spent an afternoon doing very little, and soon Todd felt his eyelids droop. He straightened when Duncan leaned against him, then put his arm around Duncan’s shoulders and held him.
Duncan had already made it clear that he didn’t think he could have any sort of relationship with anyone, but after seeing him again, Todd’s heart had engaged. Todd hadn’t expected it, but just holding Duncan sent heat running through him like liquid lava.
At a break in the movie, he turned, tempted to kiss Duncan just to see what he tasted like. “Are you okay?” Todd whispered, holding Duncan a little tighter.
“It’s been a while since anyone touched me, other than doctors or my mother to help clean me up. Do you know what that’s like? Feeling like nothing more than a patient to anyone?”
“You aren’t a patient to me.” Todd leaned against Duncan, hoping he could make him a little happy while they sat together.
“I know. You’re a friend, and I haven’t had a lot of those lately.”
Todd inhaled sharply. “Why not?” He could almost feel Duncan rolling his eyes.
“Everyone sees the chair when they look at me. They don’t know what to say and become uncomfortable, so after visiting once or twice, they stop coming by.” He shrugged and sat back up. Todd didn’t let go of him, still wanting Duncan to know that he was there. “I get it, I really do. It was how I used to feel sometimes. I wouldn’t know what to talk about, or I’d be afraid of the questions I’d ask. It’s just easier to stay away.”
“That sucks.” Todd knew Duncan was right. He hadn’t known what to say and was ever so grateful for Duncan’s mom calling to help break the ice. One thing was for sure—he had no intention of staying away from now on. “And I’m sorry.”
They lapsed into quiet as the movie came back on.
A car pulled into the drive during the final setup of the climactic scene. Duncan’s mother was home. Todd thought of moving away, but he wasn’t ashamed of holding Duncan or being close to him, so he stayed where he was and greeted Duncan’s mother warmly.
She returned the greeting, staring at them for a few seconds, and then left the room. She returned with two glasses of juice. “Did you boys have a good time?”
“Yeah, Mom. We went to a movie and took a walk in the park. It was really nice to get out for a while. How were things with Aunt Sylvia?”
“You know, honey, I think you were the smart one. The next time she invites us over, I think I’m going to have an appointment for oral surgery.” She actually laughed nervously. “I’m glad you boys had fun. I’ve got to get dinner ready.” She watched the television for a few minutes, and when Helen Mirren took out the cars in the chase, she turned and left the room.
“Mom hates movies with any blood in them,” Duncan said, and they returned their attention back to the screen, Duncan leaning a little closer.
“Should we watch the rest of this later?” Todd asked.
“No. She’s going to work in the kitchen. Just turn it down a little and it will be okay.”
Todd turned down the volume, and they watched the rest of the film. Then he turned off the television, figuring it was time for him to go.
“Do you think you could come back in a few days? I want to go over my ideas for the garage before I present them to Trevor. I need them to be r
eally good.”
“Of course. I work late on Monday and Tuesday, but Wednesday I’m done at five or so. We could get together then.”
Duncan nodded.
Todd stood, helped Duncan back into his chair, then went into the kitchen to say goodbye to Duncan’s mom.
Duncan saw him to the door. “I’ll see you after work on Wednesday.”
Todd took one step and turned back around. “What the hell…,” he whispered under his breath. The entire damned day he’d wondered what Duncan’s rosy lips tasted like, and the aching behind his eyes drew him in. Todd went over to Duncan, leaned down, and kissed Duncan gently.
Duncan stilled and then, to Todd’s surprise, kissed him back. It was soft, gentle, even a touch tentative, but it sent a jolt of energy racing up Todd’s spine like a thunderbolt. He pulled back and noticed Duncan’s eyes were as wide as saucers. Whatever was between them, he’d felt it too.
“I’ll see you on Wednesday.” Todd squeezed Duncan’s hand before turning to head for the car.
Once he was inside, Todd started the engine and made it out of the drive and down the street before pulling over. He took a deep breath, wondering what the hell he was going to do. Duncan had made it clear he wasn’t interested, but Todd had pressed him…. And now, how in the hell could he turn his back on that kind of attraction? Todd shook his head and wondered what he was going to do now, because he didn’t want to lose his friend.
Chapter 3
“HONEY,” DUNCAN’S mother said Tuesday evening, but he barely heard her. “Are you feeling okay? Should I call the doctor? You’ve been tired, and I’m wondering if you’re hearing me when I call.”
“I’m fine, Mom.” He looked up from the papers spread across his desk. “Just working hard.” That was a better excuse than telling her he was preoccupied with Todd and thoughts of the kiss he’d given him when he left. “Trevor wants a marketing plan, and I really want this to be good. Todd is going to come over tomorrow so I can practice my presentation on him, and I need to have all of this down.” His heart raced, though it wasn’t because of the presentation.
“But I’m concerned you’re spending too much time in here.” She sniffed and made a face. “Go on outside and get some air. I need to finish cleaning, and this room needs to be aired out.” That was her code for it smelled like a locker room. Maybe it did, but he’d been busy, and nobody ever told him how much his back and butt were going to sweat from sitting in this damned chair all the time.
“Give me an hour and I’ll go out to sit on the front porch so you can do what you have to.” He really needed to just get the last of this done. Thankfully she left the room. Duncan made a few phone calls. He finished and glided out of the room, then outside to the front porch.
The breeze was nice, rustling the leaves in the trees. He wished he’d brought out something to drink and a book. But he wasn’t going to maneuver himself inside again to get them, so he rested his head back and closed his eyes until a car rumbled in the driveway.
“Oh God.” Duncan thought of calling his mother, but he figured he would have to deal with Corrina sooner or later. He might as well get it over with.
“Duncan,” she said, as though honey wouldn’t melt in her mouth. “I haven’t heard from you in so long.” She bounded up onto the porch like the Energizer Bunny. “We need to get together to talk about things.” Corrina plopped herself in a chair next to him, her eyes darting from place to place, never staying still for very long. “We need to get our business set up and going.”
“I thought I told you that wasn’t going to work,” he said calmly. “You’re a good person, but you and I work in very different ways.” Actually, he worked, whereas she just did her best to look busy without actually accomplishing anything.
“That was a while ago, and you were pretty out of it,” she justified, probably for herself. “So I thought you might have had a chance to think things over.” The smile slipped from her lips. “You and I had such plans, and now, from the settlement, you should have the money to make them happen. Do you want to try to do this without me? Is that what’s going on?”
“What I think is that you and I would be better off as friends than as business partners. I need to figure some things out in my life… on my own.” There. He was nice and pleasant, but firm.
“I was planning on this as my job.” Her eyes blazed, and Duncan wondered how he should handle it. “You made promises to me that you should honor.”
Duncan tamped down his own rising anger at the whole situation. “Things change, Corrina. I never expected to be injured and end up in a chair. Everything is different now. Besides, we never got that far in our plans. So, the best I can tell you is to put your résumé together and start looking for a job. That’s what I’m doing.” That should put an end to this entire line of questioning. He wasn’t expecting her to do anything he wasn’t doing. “We had ideas and were going to try, but nothing was written in stone.” He shrugged. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out.” What else was he supposed to do?
“But you asked me to be your partner,” she added, her lower lip trembling. She was really starting to worry him.
“That was some time ago, and a lot has happened since then. You need to understand that we never got beyond the talking stage. There is no business for us to be partners in. You and I are good friends, but that’s it. Sometimes friends should stay friends and not get involved in business.”
She put her hands over her face and broke into tears, her shoulders and upper body shaking. “What am I supposed to do? I’d make you a good partner, I really would.” Her tone gentled again, and it gave Duncan the creeps. “You would be great at bringing in the clients, and I could work with you to develop ideas and put everything together. Help make sure you have all the things you need.”
Duncan shivered a little. This was sounding way too Baby Jane for words and it was frightening him.
Duncan sat still, almost afraid to offer her the comfort she needed—or anything else, for that matter. Everyone thought he needed to be taken care of. Duncan was sure Corrina wasn’t being rational, and that scared the hell out of him. Her swings in mood only had him wondering what was next in her cavalcade of emotional responses. Not that she didn’t have a right to how she felt, but he wished she’d pick one.
“Why don’t you call your mom and dad and see if they can come get you?”
She jumped up and half raced down the steps. “You don’t get to treat me this way.” Her lips curled into a snarl, cheeks and face riddled with lines. Corrina almost looked like a Disney villain, except the pain and hatred in her eyes were so very real. “I’ll settle things with you one way or another.”
“Corrina, things are settled, and there’s nothing I can do about it. Go on home, please.” He wheeled himself toward the door, pulled it open, and went inside. He shut and locked the door, then peered out the sidelight windows to make sure she left.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, and Duncan pulled it out, relieved when he saw a text from Todd. He answered it and told him briefly that Corrina had just paid him a visit and that it hadn’t been pleasant.
Do you want me to come over after work?
Duncan hesitated. Would you? He had been reluctant to ask for help at first, but he wanted Todd here. He wasn’t going to worry his mother with all this.
I’ll be there in an hour.
Duncan breathed deeply, letting go of the earlier drama, knowing he had some backup on the way.
“Why are you watching out the window like that?” his mother asked as she carried a laundry basket.
“I was just watching what was happening out front. I thought I heard something.” His mom worried enough already, and Corrina was his problem, not hers. “Todd messaged me and he’s going to come over in an hour or so.”
“All right.” She continued on through, and Duncan returned to his room to finish a little more work before Todd arrived.
THE DOORBELL rang an hour later, and his mother�
�s voice drifted in. “He’s in his room. The last door on the left.”
“Thank you.”
Todd’s voice rumbled right to the base of Duncan’s spine. He closed his eyes and willed the attraction to take over and for something to happen, but as usual, things stayed still down south.
“Hey, Duncan,” Todd said gently a few seconds later, coming into his room.
“I’ve been trying to work, but I haven’t done much since she left.” He spoke softly in case his mother was nearby.
“What happened?” Todd sat on the edge of the bed.
Duncan told Todd about her visit. “She can’t see why I’m not jumping into it.”
“Then don’t.” Todd held his hand to emphasize his point. “There’s no need for you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Corrina shouldn’t try to force you into anything. That isn’t right.”
Duncan swallowed hard. “She tried to steamroll me. I’m trying to figure things out, and all she wants me to do is worry about what she’s going to do.” He sighed. “Maybe I’m the one who’s being selfish.”
“No, sweetheart. You need to protect yourself. She and her brother are a little off their nuts, and you don’t need to be involved with that. Whatever plans you made with her were before the accident, and since you’ve explained your feelings, she should accept that and move on.”
Duncan nodded. “I didn’t realize how volatile she’s become.” He lifted his gaze as Todd nodded slowly. “Was she always that way and I missed it somehow?”