We don’t say much while we clean up the dinner dishes. I know Kyle’s upset and I know I completely ruined the evening. On my way home, I make a stop at the park to think and sing. I wonder if Kyle would consider moving with me now. Maybe he loves me enough to be patient as I follow a crazy childhood dream, but what about his dream and what he has been working for? Can I let him leave all of that behind?
As I’m getting ready for bed, I check my phone. As if my life isn’t complicated enough. There’s a text from Trevor.
Got your number from Gran. We should talk.
I just need to follow my heart. I remind myself. I just wish I knew which way it was taking me.
~*~*~
I walk in the door at my parents’ house and look around at the bare walls and empty rooms and then I look longingly at the hardwood floor. I get a running start and slide along the floor toward the kitchen. I smile to myself, but I feel like crying. Why does everything have to change?
“Mom? Dad? Cassie?” I call.
“I’m so happy you’re here, honey.” Mom gives me a hug after I slide into the kitchen. I sit down at the kitchen table, which is still in the middle of the room. Cassie and Mom are wiping out the cabinets and wrapping items in newspaper. I guess Cassie has been helping Mom a lot. I’m such a brat. Other than going through my own boxes, I haven’t lifted a finger to help. None of them have said a word about it, but I do feel a bit guilty.
Although, it seems like guilty is all I’ve been feeling lately. I haven’t spoken to Kyle for a few days other than some texts back and forth. I’m still so confused, and I haven’t told anyone about the proposal yet. I have the perfect little blue box in my bag, so I’m hoping I can get Cassie alone to show her. In the meantime, I finally responded to Trevor and told him I would be in touch soon. I reread the text over and over again. It sounded so terribly formal. My life is officially in shambles.
“Um, Cassie, when you have a minute I have a yoga question for you?” She stops what she’s doing and gives me a curious look. She knows me well enough to know that there is no yoga question nor would there ever be a yoga question.
“Let’s take a walk,” she says eagerly. Mom is as oblivious as always and starts humming an Air Supply tune as she works. I know Air Supply tunes well since my parents have been obsessed fans for as long as I can remember.
Cassie and I start to walk along the sidewalk. We’re both quiet, but since I called this little meeting, I start talking first. “So, you know there isn’t a yoga question but I wanted to show you something. I reach into my bag, pull out the perfect little blue box, and hand it to her. Her eyes get huge and she frantically opens it.
“Is this what I think it is?” she’s practically screaming.
I nod my head slowly. “Yep, that would be an engagement ring from Tiffany’s. Kyle proposed and I told him I would think about it and I started to . . .” I trail off and pull out my phone. “And then I got this.” I show her the text from Trevor.
For the first time in my life, I think Cassie is as confused as I am. She keeps looking back and forth between the ring and the phone.
“Maris, are you in love with Kyle?” she asks. What kind of a question is that? Of course I am. I think she senses my confusion, so she continues while rolling her eyes, “I know you love him, but are you in love?”
I think for a minute. “Yes. I think I am.” I look down the street that I grew up on. I’m not going to get upset that this street will soon be only a memory.
“Maris?” she says, interrupting my thought.
“Cassie, is it possible to be in love but feel like something is missing?”
She nods her head. “Of course. Does this have anything to do with Trevor?” Ha! Now that is definitely a harder question.
“I’m attracted to him,” I reply, feeling uncomfortable admitting it out loud. “And I think he’s extremely irritating and arrogant. He’s so full of himself, but then at same time he has such a caring way about him, especially when it comes to Beatrice and that’s very endearing.” I look down at the ground.
“Well, little sister, as I’ve said before, only you can make this decision—but I will tell you that there are no such things as coincidences, and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason.” It doesn’t take a genius to understand what she’s trying to say. I know I need to talk to Trevor.
When we get back from our walk, I grab my phone and go into my parents’ room. It’s the only room in the house that seems to still be intact. I lie down on my parents’ bed and nervously dial Trevor’s number. Our conversation goes really well and we plan to meet at Starbucks the next day because that’s always the best place to meet. Also, in my head, it seems completely safe and innocent to meet him for coffee.
“Well?” Cassie whispers when I join them downstairs. I tell her about our big plans to meet for coffee. She gives me the look of approval and all of a sudden she has plenty of advice to give.
“You know you will feel much better when you guys finally have this conversation but, before you jump into anything, find out what Kyle has decided. You need to give him every chance possible.”
“What does Kyle have to decide?” Mom asks, interrupting our whispering. I guess we weren’t being as quiet as I thought we were. I really don’t want to get into this with my mother.
Thankfully, Cassie saves the day. “Just job stuff, Mom.” She’s always been so good at quick responses.
When I get home, I decide to straighten up my room. Ever since I decided to finish my song and perform it, I’ve let everything else go. My room could possibly be condemned at any moment. I start to move around the mess, starting with organizing my songbooks. Underneath the pile of junk, I find Grandma’s journal. I look through the pages to see where I left off. She never finished writing in it and most pages have just one or two lines written on them. I flip toward the end of the journal and after several blank pages I find one last entry.
I’ve learned a lot over the course of this amazing career and I’m so incredibly happy to be able to do what I love. I’ve met an amazing man and I see a wonderful future ahead for us. I have learned that true joy will come if you . . . follow your heart.
Oh wow. That’s the same thing she told me. I know she’s talking about my grandpa in this entry. I’m going to listen to her advice and follow my heart, but I also know that someone will be hurt in this process. I pull the perfect little blue box out of my bag and open it. For the first time, I take the ring out and slip it on my finger. It’s absolutely stunning.
“Holy crap, is that a ring?” Georgie yells. I jump straight up in the air. I was so focused on what I was doing that I didn’t hear her come home. I’m about to explain, but she doesn’t let me get a word in. “I had a feeling this was coming. Kyle would never want to lose you and now you can stay here. I would’ve been devastated if you moved.”
I don’t know what to say. I sit on the bed and stare at the beautiful ring on my finger. I know I would be happy with Kyle, so maybe marrying him isn’t the wrong decision. I take the ring off and put it back in its perfect little box.
“Maris, why are you taking your engagement ring off?” she asks with a horrified look on her face.
“Because I’m not engaged,” I say flatly. I watch her expression change as she’s processing what I just told her. “I didn’t accept Kyle’s proposal . . . yet.” I hold up my hand. “Before you say anything, let me explain.”
Georgie, being the good friend she is, listens patiently even though I can tell she wants to interject several times, but she lets me finish.
“Okay, so let me get this straight, you will have coffee with Trevor tomorrow and depending on how that goes then you will give Kyle an answer to his marriage proposal?” She falls back on my bed dramatically (as usual). “I feel like we’re in a movie or a soap opera,” she exclaims.
I fall back onto the bed next to her. I can’t disagree with her. What seemed like an easy decision has become incredibly difficult, and
now I’m so paranoid that I will make the wrong decision. There’s still the fact that the power-couple consisting of Trevor and Giselle will stay together, so he may not even be available. I could be completely jumping to the wrong conclusion, maybe he wants to talk about Beatrice or maybe he has decided to finally give me the dry cleaning bill for his suit. Here I am telling Georgie that I may have to choose between two men and one technically isn’t even available. Now I know that I’ve completely lost it.
“Kyle actually said he would consider coming to New York,” I say. “As in he would actually consider leaving his life and his new job behind to be with me.” Wow. When I say it out loud I’m amazed . . . how stupid am I to even consider letting a guy like that slip away?
“Kyle is a great guy—there’s no doubt about that,” Georgie replies. I’m glad she’s oblivious to what I’m really thinking because she would probably try to convince me to stay and marry him, and this has to be my decision.
“Yeah, he’s the best.” I agree.
Chapter 18
I’m completely shocked to get a call from Liv being that I haven’t spoken to her since the impromptu girls’ dinner. I’m even more shocked to hear that Miranda couldn’t stop talking about the recital and my song. What? I’ve been so consumed with all my relationship and non-relationship drama that I completely forgot about Miranda asking me to call her. I will have to do that later because right now I’m too busy being a nervous wreck as I get ready to meet Trevor for coffee. Seriously, I’m so nervous that you would think I was going on a job interview. I keep glancing at the little blue box that’s still sitting on my nightstand. I admit that I’ve put the ring on my hand two more times since Georgie caught me with it, and the marriage proposal doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
Trevor is already there when I arrive at Starbucks. I can see him through the window. He’s sitting there dressed in another obviously expensive suit reading Forbes Magazine. Typical.
He smiles when he sees me and stands up when I get to the table. “Thanks for meeting me today,” he says. He even pulls out the chair for me. Who still does that? No doubt that would be the influence from his mother and grandmother.
“Sure,” I reply nervously.
There’s a weird awkward moment between us until we start talking at the same time.
“I just thought we should talk,” he says at the same time I say, “So, you wanted to talk.” We both laugh nervously.
“Go ahead,” I tell him. I want to hear him out before I say anything stupid.
“Well, to start, Giselle and I had a huge fight the other night and we broke up.” Okay, that’s a positive start to our conversation. I try not to look happy even though I’m dying to jump up and cheer. “Like I told you before, things haven’t been good between us for a while. It has felt like I’ve been on a rollercoaster and I’m tired of trying to make something work that isn’t.” I can tell that he’s being completely honest, so I listen intently. “Don’t get me wrong, things between us physically have always been fantastic but emotionally we aren’t there.” I clench my fists under the table and may or may not throw up in my mouth a little. Now I wish I wasn’t listening so intently. Really, he could have left that part out but I try not to show my disgust.
“Anyway, I have a confession to make,” he says. I take a deep breath because you never know what’s going to be revealed when someone says that.
“The night at Liv and Tom’s party, Giselle and I had another big fight. I spent most of the night trying to make up with her but she wasn’t having it. So, I finally sat down in the corner, just drinking and feeling sorry for myself until I saw you wandering around. Something about you . . . I don’t know, I guess I felt drawn to you.”
He stares into my eyes and I feel my heart speed up. My mind starts screaming at me, this is wrong and I think about the little blue box sitting at home on my nightstand.
“So, you’re saying that you ran into me that night?” I reply sarcastically.
He cracks a smile. “I did—well, not on purpose.” He adds, “I was just going over to talk to you when you turned around and that’s how you ruined my favorite suit.” He winks at me.
I scowl. “Would you like me to buy you a new suit?” Of course I have no intention of buying him a new suit, but honesty I’m getting tired of hearing about it.
“No—but I’m sure I can think of another way for you to pay me back,” he replies with a wicked smile. I’m feeling so uncomfortable that I just blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.
“Kyle proposed to me.” I don’t even know why that came out and now I’m even more uncomfortable. Trevor looks shocked.
“Excuse me, did you say he proposed to you?” he repeats calmly. “What did you say?” He’s practically on the edge of his seat.
I inhale deeply. “I told him that I would think about it and I have been thinking about it.”
“And?”
“And . . . there are a lot of factors to think about before I make such a huge decision.” I want to say more but for some reason I hold back.
Trevor reaches over, grabs my hand, and looks into my eyes. All of a sudden I feel like a silly teenager. My heart is beating faster and my mouth is dry.
“You can’t marry him.” I wait for him to say something else but he doesn’t.
“Why?” I ask, returning his deep stare.
“Remember that day that I was at your studio?” he replies. “You were so excited about the prospect of moving to New York and following your dream. Kyle will only hold you back, you need to go to New York.” He takes a sip of his coffee. That’s it? That’s the only reason he thinks I shouldn’t marry Kyle.
“I haven’t given up on that,” I say, pulling my hand away. “Kyle even said he would consider coming with me.” All of a sudden I feel confused. Trevor invited me here to tell me that he and Giselle broke up, but he hasn’t said anything else other than that I should move to New York. I’m growing more and more agitated.
“Can I ask you why you wanted to meet today?” I ask.
“I told you, I wanted to make a confession about the night we met and to tell you about Giselle and I breaking up.” He starts to fidget, which seems so strange considering how put together he appears to be. “Maris, I don’t want to complicate things further for you. There’s no doubt that I feel a connection to you, but at the same time, just getting out of a relationship, I don’t know that I’m ready to jump right into something serious.”
I don’t believe this—I feel like such a fool. I’m about to tell him where he can shove his mixed signals but I don’t want to let on that I was expecting more.
“You’re absolutely right,” I say firmly. “I do need to go to New York, but I don’t need your advice about my relationship. I can do what I want and marry who I want.” I grab my bag and start to get up from the table.
“Wait, why are you upset?” he asks, grabbing my arm to stop me. “I was just trying to be honest. I would like to explore our attraction, but I can’t commit to anything serious—at least not right now. Maybe we could just get to know each other better and you know . . . have fun.”
I’m such an idiot. I was actually considering giving up a guy like Kyle for someone who just wants to have fun. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but Kyle is loyal and I know he loves me. Even if I decide not to marry him, New York should be the reason for that, not a fling with Trevor.
I sit back down so I don’t make a scene in the middle of Starbucks. “Tell me, Trevor, how do you expect us to get to know each other when you just told me that I should move to New York?”
He starts to look as uncomfortable as I feel. “I don’t know, I guess I could come visit you and I’m sure you will be back here to see your family.”
I laugh sarcastically and shake my head. “Really, Trevor, I know what you meant by us having fun and no thanks.” This time I leave despite his pleading and I don’t look back.
I’m so pissed that I can’t see straight. W
hat the hell just happened? I can understand what Trevor meant about just getting out of a relationship and not wanting to be serious, but I guess I was expecting more. I pull off the highway and into the first parking lot I see. I have to figure out what to do with this mess I call my life. I find my phone and call Kyle. We agree to meet for dinner. It’s time to finally decide what path my life needs to take. It’s time to follow my heart.
Chapter 19
“Maris, it’s so great to hear from to you,” Miranda says happily. As soon as I get home from my disastrous meeting with Trevor, I call Miranda. I want to have every bit of information I need before I see Kyle tonight.
“I’m so sorry for not calling sooner. Things have been, um, hectic since the recital.” There really isn’t a better word to describe the events that have gone down since that night. I guess I could say my life has been a nightmare, but I don’t want her to think I’m a complete drama queen.
See You Soon Broadway (Broadway Series Book 1) Page 14