The Quick and the Fevered
Page 30
“No,” he smiled and when his fingers brushed her cheek, the memory of his calloused touch echoed in her soul. “As they have not forsaken you, my brave girl, my dancing rabbit chased by the eagle. You must not run from your heart, you are too strong. Do not become the rabbit, but soar as you were meant to. Trust the Eagle, you have found the path you were meant for. My only regret is I will not be there at journey’s end.”
The impossible lump in her throat grew heavier. He no longer saw her, his spirit rising from the shell of his body without hesitation. The spirits waited for him and greeted him ecstatically and then he too, was gone.
Closing her eyes, she willed herself to Jimmy, but the turbulent scene in the field of snakes awaited her. Watching the snakes slide over her bare feet, she dared not move. Instead of frustration and fear, she turned her face to the sky.
“I am here Great Eagle. Show me what you will.”
Trust the Eagle, her grandfather had said. His spirit had spoken to hers. The echo of the words she’d heard him speak all those years before given new meaning. Had he told her younger self this truth so she would remember it now?
Gaze on the sky, she waited. The snakes climbed her body, coiling around her wrists, and one began to loop around her neck. She didn’t fight them. To slay a snake was to invite more to come for her. A streak of brown and white moved across the sky and then he was there—the Great Eagle let loose a cry and the snakes fell away from her. She soared into the sky to follow him.
No more fighting. No more resisting.
Riding the thermals, she pumped her wings once, then twice and flew into the oncoming storm.
Chapter 20
Scarlett, Flying K
Cody avoided her. Noah avoided her. Sam went to town and Buck still hadn’t returned from his mysterious trip. Exhaustion and irritation plagued every moment of her day, she couldn’t stop the sensation of itching inside her skin. Olivia and Evelyn had given her a wide berth after she snapped at them over breakfast. She’d since apologized, but Miss Annabeth told her to take a walk and try to relax.
“Sometimes, Scarlett, a woman just needs some time to herself. You’re growing a baby, not making a supper.” Despite the older woman’s reassurances, Scarlett couldn’t shake the sensation of impending doom. Sam tried to tease her out of the mood, but it lingered like a bad summer storm.
Her first pregnancy hadn’t been like this. She’d enjoyed the sensation of carrying a baby. Running her hand over her belly, she said, “I like carrying you, too. I’m just antsy.”
Leaving the house behind, she paced through the dying grass to the bathing pool where Sam first saw her burning the water. Maybe a dip in the pond was exactly what she needed. When she was younger, restlessness would invade her on the mountain and it usually meant she needed to let the fire out. So why didn’t her symptoms seem to match those?
At the pond’s edge, she stopped and gazed up at the sky. No trace of storm cloud, yet she couldn’t shake the dread crawling up her spine.
“Scarlett?” Kid’s voice drifted through the trees and she turned.
“I’m decent,” she called by way of greeting. “Though I don’t feel particularly friendly.”
“I know,” he nudged the branch aside as he bypassed an evergreen and pulled his hat off. “You need some help?”
He’d changed so much in the last year—all positive, glorious changes. He seemed happier, calmer, and more like Sam and Micah with each passing day—a man who knew who he was and had found peace with himself. Training with Quanto did that to a person.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged and walked in a half circle. Rubbing her stomach used to soothe her, but at the moment nothing seemed to alleviate the agitation weighing down on her.
“All right,” he smiled, and one couldn’t not smile back at Kid. In some ways, the resemblance he bore to Sam had passed. Yes, they were brothers, but he was so much more him. “Want to talk?”
“I’m in a terrible mood today, Kid. I appreciate it, but I don’t think there’s anything you can do.”
“Maybe,” he nodded agreeably. “And maybe I can help take the edge off.” He pressed a fist to his chest. “I can feel the pressure. It’s eating you up, and you’re jumpier than a wild horse under a saddle for the first time.”
Pausing, she blinked. “Did you just compare me to a bucking bronco?”
“If the leather fits,” he gave her a crooked grin and Scarlett was torn between insult and laughter. Laughter won and his grin grew. “C’mon, Scarlett. Tell your brother what’s wrong. I’m not Sam, but I am pretty good at listening.”
“That’s just it, I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s a feeling, in my gut—something terrible is about to happen.” The cold feeling fisted around her heart and flames sparked from her hand. She concentrated on banking the fire. She’d already swum once this week and let off the steam, it shouldn’t have built up so quickly. “I can’t explain it. I feel it every moment of every day and it’s getting worse.”
Instead of dismissing her concern, Kid tapped his hat against his leg and leaned against one of the large boulders. “All right. Let’s think about all the things it isn’t…are you worried about Sam?”
“Yes, but not as though I fear he is going to die.” A very real fear she’d experienced after he’d been shot. “I worry because he’s the marshal and he takes everything as his responsibility. He’s concerned about the McKennas, but the plan you and your brothers have discussed and worked on seems sound.”
“Well enough,” he agreed with her. “Is it Molly or Cobb?”
“No,” she couldn’t contain a quick smile. “Molly took her first steps and Cobb’s running around like he’s always done it. They have a few words—they’re becoming these little people and it’s wonderful.” Pride buoyed her, but didn’t dislodge the ache in her chest.
A gleam of pride filled his smile. “Well, they’re Kanes, what do you expect?”
She laughed. “You sound like Jed.”
“And I’ll actually take as a compliment.” With a wink, he twirled his hat and squinted. “So, it’s probably about your brothers. Buck and Jimmy.”
Aggravation filled her. “I’m worried about Jimmy because Buck left and didn’t tell anyone he was going and we have no way of reaching out to Jimmy to know he’s okay. I’m worried about Buck because leaving is not like him. He’s more responsible than Noah. He wouldn’t go without a good reason.”
“Fair enough. Have you talked to Cody or Noah?”
“No.” Gloom snuck in under her irritation and she had to clench her hand to keep the flames from bursting out. “They’re avoiding me.” Holding up her hand, she tried to stave off any comforting words from Kid. “Yes, I know Cody is busy. He’s doing more with the kids than I am and he’s got Mariska to think about. But something else is wrong, he won’t come anywhere near me and he only has ever avoided me when he didn’t want me to know something was wrong.”
She and her brothers were close, Cody more than any of the others. Taking care of others was how he was made and bossing her around had been how he took care of her.
“And Noah? He missed coming to the house for tea. I assume it’s because of the McKennas, but Sam doesn’t want me riding out too far without a buggy or someone with me, so I can’t go to Haven.” A year before, even two years, she’d have taken Sam’s request and flounced off in a huff. She could do anything, and she had—she’d stopped a range fire while carrying Molly and had gone into labor. The experience had scared Sam and she wouldn’t do that to him again.
“I feel like we’re being pulled apart,” she whispered. “I don’t know how to stop it.”
“Maybe you don’t have to,” Kid’s voice gentled. “You’ve got a family, Cody has one, and Buck and Delilah—maybe we’ve got a lot of pressure on us because of everything that happened. You’re not alone, Scarlett. They aren’t alone…”
Tears filled her eyes, the sudden grief so swift it irritated her and she blinked them back. “
I grew up with seven, wildly overprotective brothers who never let me out their sight. I get married and four of them follow me here and they still don’t let me out of their sight.”
“Now they are,” Kid raised his brows though he didn’t sound as though he questioned her.
“Yes, and I should be grateful. I used to want them to let me run free, but…”
“It’s lonely when you’re family is busy and you feel like you’re stuck and not helping. All you want to do is help, be there for them as they’ve been there for you and to fix whatever problems are happening.”
Yes. The pressure in her chest eased. “I feel like I should be doing something.”
“You are,” Kid spoke softly, and she could almost feel his voice like a comforting embrace. “You’re being a ma. As someone who didn’t have my ma growing up, you are doing something amazing. You’re going to have another baby, and you have two beautiful kids and you spend time teaching Sage and helping Olivia and Evelyn, even when you’re snappy. You make time. You’re a good mother Scarlett. You’re doing exactly what only you can do.”
Blowing out a breath, she put her hands on her hips and said, “You’re very good at this.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, ma’am.” He set his hat on his head. “But Sam is almost here, too.”
Another spark of relief decompressed the weight on her chest. “Did you?”
“No.” His smile held a note of mischief.
“Jason.” No question.
“Guilty,” came the quiet response from just beyond the trees. “We wanted to make sure you were all right and you want him home.”
Shame flooded through her.
“None of that,” Kid said with a shake of his head. “We take care of ma’s here, and sisters too.”
“You’re looking after Cody and Noah, too, aren’t you?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Jason answered before Kid could.
“He’s pushy like that,” Kid teased and Jason snorted.
Brothers. Still, the anxiety eating her alive eased and Sam was on his way home. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. We’re going to stay with you until he gets here, if that’s all right with you. I can step out if you want to use the pond.”
“You’re both sweet,” she told them.
“No ma’am,” came a near chorus, one cheerful and the other practical.
“We’re Kanes,” Kid said. “We take care of our own.”
Yes, yes they did.
Jimmy, To Death
The fall ended as abruptly as it began. Twilight surrounded Jimmy, and the pain throbbing in his limbs ceased. Flexing his fingers, he stretched his arms and then rolled to his feet. Blue knelt over him, anguish in her eyes and his heart broke. The image of her faded. He squinted and strained but she retreated into the distance until he could see her no more.
“Blue!” Gone. She was gone—he’d left her alone with the damn doppelganger. Everything in him screamed, but he couldn’t get to her—saw no path. He who saw everything couldn’t see a single route.
A hand touched his shoulder. “Be at ease my son.”
Jerking around, he found Quanto standing in the dusty street. The town around him was dead, he’d been pulling a body on a sheet to the graveyard. It was hard work and he was so tired…only he wasn’t little boy anymore. Ancient, the grooves in Quanto’s face had deepened beyond measure.
“Father…”
“Hold on Jimmy.” The order resonated within him. “Hold on. She will not let you go, I have to only keep you here but a brief time.”
The sinking realizations tabbed at him. He’d failed Quanto. Failed his family—failed Blue. “I’m dead…”
“Not quite.” His faint smile did little to ease his cryptic tone. “Just cleave to me until you feel her. The eagle will pull you home—”
“Father…”
“Shhh.” Benevolence, patience, and wisdom shimmered in his eyes. “This takes nearly all of my strength. Your brother is not skilled enough to hold you to earth.”
Pain fisted around his back and Jimmy fell to his knees. His arms burned and his hands—they were on fire. Breathing through the agony, he met Quanto’s gaze and trusted him. The shaman had never guided him wrong. “You’re going…”
“Soon. But while breath is my body, I will keep you where she can find you…”
She—Blue could call the spirit back to the body and hold it. “Will I still be dead?”
The shaman chuckled. “You still have such little faith.”
“She’s alone.” He reminded his father. “She lost everyone. We’ve lost Shane, and now I’ve left her there with bastard.” Losing his father hurt, leaving Blue alone hurt more.
“Set your sights on the horizon, my son.” Quanto’s hand on his shoulder kept him steady. “Don’t look back.”
Blue, Spirit Lake
The eagle led her a chase across the sky and, despite the weariness in her soul, she fought to keep pace with him. Too long she put off these visions and the answers they needed—the answers she needed lay upon this path. When he began his descent, she flared her wings and followed.
Spread out in a small encampment were the People. They’d left the plains and settled into more permanent structures on rich, fertile land. Some farmed, while others worked with animals. The settlement was small, yet vibrant. A door slammed, and she tracked the sound to the blonde woman—Alicia—striding from her home. Across the settlement she strode, and behind, jogging came the shaman Morning Star. Older, with streaks of silver in the fine black of his hair, he caught her before she reached the edge of the settlement.
“You cannot,” he told her when she tried to pull away.
“They are leaving,” she argued, but Morning Star refused to release her.
“They are doing what they must.”
“They are leaving because the others do not trust them and more leave us every day.”
Descending lower, the Great Eagle settled upon a rock and Blue landed nearby. The couple took no notice of them. Tears streaked down Alicia’s face. “I do not want to say goodbye to my sons.”
“All children must leave their parents.” Morning Star caught her chin in his hand, and tenderness softened his stern visage. “It is the way of things. They must discover the world for themselves, and their place in it.”
“There are so many dangers out there. The white world spreads, more settlements come east.” She sighed, and bowed her head. “Husband, please let me talk to them. Perhaps I can convince them to stay one more summer.”
“As you did last summer? And the summer before this?” He caressed her cheek. “We have to let them go. They are not our prisoners nor our slaves.”
“But what will happen to them?”
“Only the spirits know.” The couple faded, time raced past. The seasons changed and Blue held firm. As long as the Great Eagle waited, so too would she stay. Around them, the forest spread, and gradually the land reclaimed the settlement. All that remained was the single dwelling and when time resumed, the blonde woman stood alone. Gone was her golden hair, transformed to the color of pale snow.
In the distance, a rider approached astride a great black horse. No excitement shone in the woman’s face, she stood as though awaiting a silent vigil. The careworn lines of her face had creased—she was many summers older than when she argued with her husband about the departure of the twins.
Time dragged until the rider arrived. The tall man moved with cool purpose, and in his remote expression Blue saw the combination of his parents. Removing his hat, the man went to his knees before his mother and bowed his head.
She pressed her hand to him and began to weep. “Two sons left and only one returns.”
“I lost him, Mother.” The man said, and when he raised his head, one blue eye and one green shone with quiet grief and in their depths Blue glimpsed true hell—as the eyes were the gateway to the soul, his opened to the spirit world itself. Neither living nor dead.
Yet, not within this one man alone. There had been two.
There were two, then one. He will make them two again.
The words made no sense. The world around her began to bleed and the scene before her tore away. Pain—inexorable, devastating pain.
Jimmy.
Her eyes jerked open and she tried to sit. Her muscles were like butter and she rolled to her side against the dirt and grass. The pain sharpened her awareness. Knowing not the place she had awoken, she searched the camp. Jimmy lay on the damp ground, his arms at an awkward angle. Blood turned black soaked his shirt.
No! Crawling, she made her way to him. His flesh was like ice beneath her fingers. “You must wake,” she ordered him. “One called Jimmy—wake.” Names held power and she called to him with every ounce of the affection she held for him. Why was the fire not blazing? What had transpired while she was lost in the spirit world?
His eyelids fluttered, and when they opened she wanted to weep. The deep brown of his eyes had turned the faintest sheen of golden and the eagle gazed up at her.
“What the hell?” Movement jerked her attention upward and she found a man with Jimmy’s visage, but the eyes of a snake gazing at her. Blood and fester rose like a miasma from him. The coiling snakes roiled over his skin and wrapped around his body, sliding and slithering as they had upon her in the spirit world. Looking away, she stared into the eyes of the eagle.
The eagle. She would follow him anywhere. “This one is gravely injured,” Great Eagle hear me, do not bear him away. She could not stand to lose another because she had flown when she should have stayed.