"Yes, why not? Go halves?"
Doctor Lin looked curiously from one to the other. "This is a strange coincidence then, a strange working out of fate perhaps."
Penny nodded. "Tell us about it - this is nothing. I half expect all the rooms to be booked up and the only way I can stay here is if I share with Phil."
"No," said Doctor Lin, smiling, as she entered into the game. "You can stay with me."
"That won't work," said Phil. "You'll only have a single room - mine's a twin, you see?"
"I do have a single room," said Doctor Lin. "How did you know?"
Penny shook her head and chuckled to herself. "Well it's okay, I've got my room and I'm keeping it - so don't go getting your hopes up, Phil."
There was definitely something between them, thought Doctor Lin, and they were more than friends. She had watched them doing push hands together. There was an intense, almost angry energy about them when they began to move, but each was perfectly in balance - neither seeking to overpower the other. But they did not have the hungry eyes of lovers - rather they seemed to have the love of later life, like an old married couple, companionable and intimate in a matter of fact way that went beyond the raw newness of first sex.
Phil tried to make sure he enjoyed the meal, settling back and taking pleasure in the loveliness of his dinner companions. He recalled the last time he'd been in a restaurant - that dreadful night with Sally at Chez Nous. This could not have been more different he thought and as the wine relaxed them, Penny and Phil took the opportunity to get to know Doctor Lin. She, in turn, tried to break down her professional reserve and see Phil as a gentle man and not a recovering basket-case. Penny, she was less sure of; it was easier to know a person when you understood their weaknesses - but Penny seemed the more balanced of the two: good colour, soft hair and skin - all things that tended to dry out in middle age as the balance of life was lost. She was sure the pulse would have revealed something, an emotional problem, perhaps her nerves? At any rate there would be some inherent weakness that might have given her a handle on the real Penny, but for now she could only admire her spirit.
The retreat was a farm that had gone bust following the foot and mouth crisis. It consisted of a cottage and barn - converted into dormitories and lounges, set in eight acres of lush green fell. The former meadows had been split up, some of them planted with bamboo, lots of secret nooks for private contemplation while looking out over Lake Windermere. There were also large, paved patios for group practice and areas covered with soft wood-chip for push-hands and wrestling.
They arrived early, for morning Qigong, which Doctor Lin had been asked to lead. Phil and Penny found themselves in a group of twenty other souls, doing the Shibashi form. They'd done this before and so were familiar with the sequence, but neither of them could relax. They were standing next to one another, taking comfort in their friendship among so many strangers, while glancing around, nervously, uncomfortable with the new age vibe coming from the others - the dreadlocks, the multicoloured sweaters, the piercings. They all seemed much younger, easily led, easily misled. Phil and Penny were interested in it because it had begun to ease their middle aged pains and angst. The others were doing it to get high off Qi. The only other middle ager was an equally uncomfortable looking Herbert Blakedon who was trying not to stand out in his knitted tank-top and his elephant chord trousers.
Worse was to come and by midmorning they were being treated to a demonstration of the mystical powers of Qi by none other than the Dragon Man. Phil was even less pleased to see him than he was Blakedon and actually groaned, while Penny's eyes rolled up to the sky in despair. Dragon Man strutted out to the middle of the wrestling ring and then chose one of the gullible pilgrims to push against him. It was a skinny wench in striped tights and dreadlocks and she had little effect on the Dragon Man, who seemed to retreat inside of himself as he resisted her best efforts to tip him over. Then he invited others to join in, to form a chain, each pushing against the others' shoulders with all their might. He held them all at bay without so much as a grunt. Penny took up the rear and then invited a recalcitrant Phil to push behind her, but Phil hung back, shaking his head and pulling a face.
"But don't you think it's impressive?" said Penny.
Phil chewed his lip as Doctor Lin came up beside him. She had a sour look too and seemed not to approve of the trick at all.
"It's rubbish," said Phil. "Simple physics - so long as he can resist the first one in the line he can stand there all day - and he deliberately picked the smallest person here. Does he think we're all idiots?"
"Yes," said Doctor Lin. "This is also my understanding. I am sorry for this, Phillip. Master Zhou is stuck in airport. Master Evans is clearly not an ideal replacement, and I am beginning to doubt his qualifications."
"Hey you!" Master Evans had emerged from his meditation for long enough to notice Phil standing on the sidelines.
"Me?"
"Get in the line like I said."
"I was just talking to,… "
"Get in line."
There was an embarrassed silence - clearly no one had expected Master Evans to be a martinet. Meanwhile Phil was thinking: like hell I will! He'd not paid eighty quid to come and be shouted at, but how could he walk away and not in some way be letting Doctor Lin down.
"Master Evans also very rude," she observed, quietly. "No this will not do at all." And then. "Join line, Mr. Markham, but take front. And remember Fa Jing."
"Fa Jing? But I can't take this guy - he's a Kung Fu nut and built like a brick,… wall."
Doctor Lin patted him on the back which made him feel oddly confident. "Yes, but we have surprise on our side. Take line please."
Phil smiled politely at Master Evans who was staring wide-eyed at this upstart's lack of respect. That was more of a Karate or a Judo thing, Phil was thinking - respect to other grades, and absolute respect for the Master - not a Chinese thing at all where any form of elitism was frowned upon. Doctor Lin did not command respect, she earned it effortlessly.
Dragon Man was wary of Phil's approach, but not sufficiently intimidated to insist he went to the back of the line. Politely, Phil squeezed in front of the skinny girl and braced himself against Master Evans' Popeyeesque forearms. "Sorry," said Phil. "When I get talking to the Doc,… you know?"
"All right, all right - just push."
Phil felt the skinny girl's hands on him - hardly any pressure at all, poor girl, and it allowed him a little space to lower himself. He tried to breathe deep, to feel the energy inside of him, coming up from his heels. Then with a half twist to one side, he wound the energy up and, just as the Dragon Man was repeating the word "Push", Phil released it in a short sharp burst. He regretted closing his eyes because the Dragon Man was already picking himself up and dusting down his silk pyjamas by the time Phil opened them. And all he could do was stare at Doctor Lin, who praised him with a faint nod and an approving smile.
"So you do practice after all, Mr Markham," she called. "Is good for you. Yes?"
Phil was embarrassed now, and offered a hand to the Dragon Man. "Sorry mate, I thought you were ready."
The group was breaking up, chattering, unsure what the point of the exercise had been, unsure whose authority was to be accepted.
"I think we break for tea, now," said Doctor Lin and everyone followed her indoors. Phil watched as she took the Dragon Man to one side, defused his ego, had him smiling and nodding as she effortlessly took charge and the weekend was thus saved from disaster. Penny brought him tea, staring wide eyed at Phil and Phil felt himself swelling with foolish pride until he realised she was winding him up and then they both laughed.
"And there's me thinking I'd won your heart with my show of superhuman strength."
"Don't be an ass. But it was fun seeing him taken down a peg."
Phil was aware of Blakedon hovering at his shoulder so he turned and offered his hand. "Phil Markham - this is Penny Barnes - we're from Middleton."
"Ah,… erm. Bert. Bert Blake
. Have you erm been doing this sort of thing long?"
"Seven or eight months. You?"
"Oh,… I'm just a beginner."
Penny smiled, unable to believe the man was so dense he thought they wouldn't recognise him . "So are we," she said. "Good fun though, eh Phil? Pity your wife couldn't come. She would have enjoyed it."
"Well, it's never been Sally's thing really. What about David?"
"Definitely not. Far too many pierced noses here for David. Actually I'm thinking of having one done. What do you think, Mr Blakedon?"
"Oh,.. erm,.. well,.. it's Blake - Bert Blake,… but anyway - that would look very pretty I'm sure."
Phil agreed. "Question is what would David say though?"
Penny shrugged. "That's settled then. It's worth doing it just to see the look on his face."
Weren't they being dangerously indiscreet? Was Penny wise to poke fun at David like that in front of the man David had hired to spy on her?
"That skinny girl's, got a nice one. I'll go and have a word with her. See if it hurt to have it done,"
Phil turned to Blakedon. "So, Mr Blakedon,… "
"Oh,… Bert, please."
"What do you do for a living Bert?"
"Erm,… public relations, that sort of thing."
Phil nodded. "Tricky things aren't they - public relations. Often misunderstood. Impossible to know quite what's really going on - I mean between members of the public."
Phil imagined Blakedon had begun to sweat a little.
"Quite so, Mr Markham,… I mean Phil. So, I notice you and Mrs Barnes aren't staying in the dorms here?"
"Lord no, the Doc warned us about them ages ago - we're staying up at the Red Lion with her."
"Ah! I wasn't aware that was,… permitted."
"Well, the Doc's the boss as far as I'm concerned. Look, why don't you join us for dinner tonight?"
"Oh,… I wouldn't want to intrude,… "
"Nonsense - the Doc and I aren't,.. well you know."
"I hadn't suppose for a moment you were, Phil."
"She's a good friend - and a good doctor - sorted my flaming ear out for sure - but there's nothing else going on at all."
"And Mrs Barnes?"
Ooh,… . you're perhaps not so dense after all, Mr Blakedon.
"Well that's up to you, Bert, but she's married and I don't think you'll get very far."
The detective blushed. "Well,… no. That wasn't what I meant at all, Phil."
"It would be good to have another bloke at dinner. I felt a bit outnumbered last night."
"Well,… I suppose I could."
"Good man: The girls will be delighted."
Doctor Lin sat quietly in the back of Phil's car while Penny stared at him from the passenger seat. "You did what?"
"I just thought it would make his job easier, that's all."
Doctor Lin laughed. "Strange game, Mr Markham."
"Doctor Lin, ever since you stopped sticking pins in me, I've been wanting you to call me Phil."
"Okay, Phil. My pleasure."
"So how can I call you. I rather like Doc - it suits you."
"Given name is Ping-Ping - but call me Doc if you wish."
Penny listened to all of this with a growing sense of bewilderment. Could neither of them grasp what Phil had done? "Are you insane, Phil?"
"While he's in our company, we have him under our control. We dictate the story he writes to our folks back home."
"I really don't care what he writes."
"But Pen,… "
"I'm enjoying this chance to get away Phil. We're both married with kids - surely you of all people would understand how rare these chances are. I was looking forward to a hot bath, and changing into a nice frock, then spending the evening with you both - you know, a nice meal and some adult conversation for a change? He'll just spoil it."
Phil grew quiet. Penny was right. "I'm sorry. I should have asked you first."
But who was she kidding? They were being followed - where was the freedom in that? She placed a hand on his shoulder as he drove, and smoothed the cloth of his jacket. Had Sally really let him out of the house wearing that old thing? "Perhaps you're right," she said. "It's better having him where we can see him. But it seems to me someone's already decided what our story is."
Phil nodded, his face darkening. "Then it's time we started writing it for ourselves."
Chapter 26
They parted company with Doctor Lin on the landing of the second floor. Phil was trying not to feel aroused at having Penny near him - just him and her, alone in a hotel. Instead he fixed his eyes on the carpet which seemed threadbare, and on the skirting boards which were badly chipped, and he was thinking he'd paid first class prices for something distinctly second rate. The bloke who'd served dinner last night had strutted about in his waistcoat looking like a high class restauranteur, but he'd had muck under his fingernails, the origins of which Phil hadn't wanted to speculate too much about.
"Phil?"
"Hmn,.. sorry, Pen. This is a terrible mess. But,.. look,… there's no one I'd rather be in a mess with more than you."
"Not even Sally?"
"With Sally and me, we are the mess."
"And we're not?"
"No. We've done nothing wrong. The mess is someone else's making."
"I've been thinking about that. Look, Phil. Will you give me half an hour, then come up to my room. I'd like to speak to you before dinner."
"In your room?"
She nodded.
"Perhaps we'd better not."
"Why?"
"Hotels always make me feel,… horny."
"Phil, just tie a knot in it, and come up to my room."
Phil waited the half hour, then climbed up to Penny's room. He could not imagine what she might have wanted to say to him there that could not have been said on the landing. She was waiting for him, the door whispering open after the first gentle tap. It was a warm room, very small, like his own, with a similar view of the dustbins. She was wearing a long dressing gown - turquoise satin and no bra - the impression of her nipples plainly visible. Her hair was brushed, her face made up - blusher and a dark lipstick,… and the scent of,… was that Poison? God, how he loved Poison!
"Am I too soon? I can come back."
"It's okay - you're right on time. Look, Phil: will you do anything that I ask you to?"
"Of course."
"Then take off your clothes."
"Pen?… "
She produced a camera then set it down on the dressing table and switched it on. The lens shot out, quite long and phallic in its urgency, he thought. Then she pointed it in the direction of the bed.
"We can only write our own story once we're free," she said. "So let's give them what they want."
"What?"
"They think we're at it, so let's give them the proof."
"Pen,… we always said we'd never do this. This isn't us. I can't be with you this way,… what was it you said once - something about honour and dignity. This,… this is just sordid."
"I'm not saying we actaully do anything - just look like we're doing it. And your face doesn't have to be in it - just your body - it doesn't have to be your story too if you don't want. But I think I want it to be mine."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do. It's simple: you lie on the bed, I get on top of you. I take a picture with the timer - maybe a few pictures, then I give them to Blakedon at dinner tonight, and pay him a hundred pounds to say he took them."
Phil could see her hands trembling. He could also see a redness breaking out around her neck and he knew she didn't mean any of this, that she wasn't thinking straight and it worried him because he'd come to rely on her common sense; he'd enough stupidity for both of them. He sighed and sat down upon the bed. "Pen,… don't let them win like this! Anyway, we still don't know who he's working for."
"It's obvious. It's David - and his mother. They were suddenly falling over themselves to persuade me to come here. It was like
they were desperate to set me up, to give me the opportunity to do something indiscreet."
"But Sally was the same - after she'd had a chat with her father. It could just as easily be him. He's never forgiven me for marrying Sal and he'd love it if she and I split. He's probably already got a replacement lined up."
Penny took a breath and sat beside him. The bed was useless and sank in the middle so they slid together and Phil took a firm hold of her shaking hands, pressing them both into her lap. She was looking at their reflection in the dressing table mirror, her in her seductive dressing gown - nipples sticking out now like a blind cobbler's thumbs, and him in his mangy old jacket looking like a punter who couldn't afford the going rate. No, Penny that's not fair - we look good together - me afraid, and him gentle, sympathetic,… not pawing at your tits, and not falling over himself to get his dick out - even when you've just asked him to.
"That's it then," she said. "You might as well go. I could never be with a man like you."
"Eh?"
"You said you'd do anything I told you,… but you obviously lied."
He smiled. "That's me all over - do anything to get a woman into bed."
"So you thought it was a stupid idea?"
"Yes,… and you had the nerve to call me stupid when I asked for your mobile 'phone number."
"I did didn't I."
They looked at the camera, and Phil imagined what it would have been like, a naked Penny on top of him - even if it had not been for real. The feel of her, the look of her looking down at him, and the feel of himself naked under her.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Nothing,… but I'd better go now."
"Okay,… but I'm thinking I'd like the camera to contain one picture of us - you and me. Fully clothed if you like."
"It's tempting, but still not a good idea."
"Don't you see how it looks at us? Like it wants to begin recording a different story - for us."
Had she really meant to imply that there was such a thing as "us", that there was a "Phil and a Penny"? No. She was still upset, tired, and at a loss to make sense of the whole bizarre situation - she had not meant any of it!
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