Our Mister Wren

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by Lewis, Sinclair


  were only fighting--he's going pretty soon. We knew each other

  at art school in Berkeley. Now he knows all the toffs in London."

  "Mr. Wrenn," said the best little poet, "I hope you'll back up

  my contention. Izzy says th----"

  "Carson, I have told you just about enough times that I do not

  intend to stand for `Izzy' any more! I should think that even

  _you_ would be able to outgrow the standard of wit that obtains in

  first-year art class at Berkeley."

  Mr. Haggerty showed quite all of his ragged teeth in a noisy

  joyous grin and went on, unperturbed: "Miss Nash says that the

  best European thought, personally gathered in the best salons,

  shows that the Rodin vogue is getting the pickle-eye from all

  the real yearners. What is your opinion?"

  Mr. Wrenn turned to Istra for protection. She promptly

  announced: "Mr. Wrenn absolutely agrees with me. By the way,

  he's doing a big book on the recrudescence of Kipling, after his

  slump, and----"

  "Oh, come off, now! Kipling! Blatant imperialist, anti-Stirner!"

  cried Carson Haggerty, kicking out each word with the assistance

  of his swinging left foot.

  Much relieved that the storm-center had passed over him, Mr.

  Wrenn sat on the front edge of a cane-seated chair, with the

  magazines between his hands, and his hands pressed between his

  forward-cocked knees. Always, in the hundreds of times he went

  over the scene in that room afterward, he remembered how cool

  and smooth the magazine covers felt to the palms of his

  flattened hands. For he associated the papery surfaces with the

  apprehension he then had that Istra might give him up to the

  jag-toothed grin of Carson Haggerty, who would laugh him out of

  the room and out of Istra's world.

  He hated the poetic youth, and would gladly have broken all of

  Carson's teeth short off. Yet the dread of having to try the

  feat himself made him admire the manner in which Carson tossed

  about long creepy-sounding words, like a bush-ape playing with

  scarlet spiders. He talked insultingly of Yeats and the

  commutation of sex-energy and Isadora Duncan and the poetry of

  Carson Haggerty.

  Istra yawned openly on the bed, kicking a pillow, but she was

  surprised into energetic discussion now and then, till Haggerty

  intentionally called her Izzy again, when she sat up and

  remarked to Mr. Wrenn: "Oh, don't go yet. You can tell me about

  the article when Carson goes. Dear Carson said he was only

  going to stay till ten."

  Mr. Wrenn hadn't had any intention of going, so he merely smiled

  and bobbed his head to the room in general, and stammered

  "Y-yes," while he tried to remember what he had told her about

  some article. Article. Perhaps it was a Souvenir Company

  novelty article. Great idea! Perhaps she wanted to design a

  motto for them. He decidedly hoped that he could fix it up for

  her--he'd sure do his best. He'd be glad to write over to Mr.

  Guilfogle about it. Anyway, she seemed willing to have him

  stick here.

  Yet when dear Carson had jauntily departed, leaving the room

  still loud with the smack of his grin, Istra seemed to have

  forgotten that Mr. Wrenn was alive. She was scowling at a book

  on the bed as though it had said things to her. So he sat quiet

  and crushed the magazine covers more closely till the silence

  choked him, and he dared, "Mr. Carson is an awful well-educated man."

  "He's a bounder," she snapped. She softened her voice as she

  continued: "He was in the art school in California when I was

  there, and he presumes on that.... It was good of you to stay

  and help me get rid of him.... I'm getting---- I'm sorry I'm so

  dull to- night. I suppose I'll get sent off to bed right now, if

  I can't be more entertaining. It was sweet of you to come in,

  Mouse.... You don't mind my calling you `Mouse,' do you? I

  won't, if you do mind."

  He awkwardly walked over and laid the magazines on the bed.

  "Why, it's all right.... What was it about some novelty--some

  article? If there's anything I could do--anything----"

  "Article?"

  "Why, yes. That you wanted to see me about."

  "Oh! Oh, that was just to get rid of Carson.... His

  _insufferable_ familiarity! The penalty for my having been a

  naive kiddy, hungry for friendship, once. And now, good n----.

  Oh, Mouse, he says my eyes--even with this green kimono on----

  Come here, dear. tell me what color my eyes are."

  She moved with a quick swing to the side of her bed. Thrusting

  out her two arms, she laid ivory hands clutchingly on his

  shoulder. He stood quaking, forgetting every one of the

  Wrennish rules by which he had edged a shy polite way through

  life. He fearfully reached out his hands toward her shoulders

  in turn, but his arms were shorter than hers, and his hands

  rested on the sensitive warmth of her upper arms. He peered at

  those dear gray-blue eyes of hers, but he could not calm himself

  enough to tell whether they were china-blue or basalt-black.

  "Tell me," she demanded; "_aren't_ they green?"

  "Yes," he quavered.

  "You're sweet," she said.

  Leaning out from the side of her bed, she kissed him. She

  sprang up, and hastened to the window, laughing nervously, and

  deploring: "I shouldn't have done that! I shouldn't! Forgive

  me!" Plaintively, like a child: "Istra was so bad, so bad. Now

  you must go." As she turned back to him her eyes had the peace

  of an old friend's.

  Because he had wished to be kind to people, because he had been

  pitiful toward Goaty Zapp, Mr. Wrenn was able to understand that

  she was trying to be a kindly big sister to him, and he said

  "Good night, Istra," and smiled in a lively way and walked out.

  He got out the smile by wrenching his nerves, for which he paid

  in agony as he knelt by his bed, acknowledging that Istra would

  never love him and that therefore he was not to love, would be

  a fool to love, never would love her--and seeing again her white

  arms softly shadowed by her green kimono sleeves.

  No sight of Istra, no scent of her hair, no sound of her

  always-changing voice for two days. Twice, seeing a sliver of

  light under her door as he came up the darkened stairs, he

  knocked, but there was no answer, and he marched into his room

  with the dignity of fury.

  Numbers of times he quite gave her up, decided he wanted never

  to see her again. But after one of the savagest of these

  renunciations, while he was stamping defiantly down Tottenham

  Court Road, he saw in a window a walking-stick that he was sure

  she would like his carrying. And it cost only two-and-six.

  Hastily, before he changed his mind, he rushed in and slammed

  down his money. It was a very beautiful stick indeed, and of a

  modesty to commend itself to Istra, just a plain straight stick

  with a cap of metal curiously like silver. He was conscious

  that the whole world was leering at him, demanding "What're _you_

  carrying a cane for?" but he--the misunderstood--was wi
lling

  to wait for the reward of this martyrdom in Istra's approval.

  The third night, as he stood at the window watching two children

  playing in the dusk, there was a knock. It was Istra. She

  stood at his door, smart and inconspicuous in a black suit with

  a small toque that hid the flare of her red hair.

  "Come," she said, abruptly. "I want you to take me to

  Olympia's--Olympia Johns' flat. I've been reading all the

  Balzac there is. I want to talk. Can you come?"

  "Oh, of course----"

  "Hurry, then!"

  He seized his small foolishly round hat, and he tucked his new

  walking-stick under his arm without displaying it too proudly,

  waiting for her comment.

  She led the way down-stairs and across the quiet streets and

  squares of Bloomsbury to Great James Street. She did not even

  see the stick.

  She said scarce a word beyond:

  "I'm sick of Olympia's bunch--I never want to dine in Soho with

  an inhibition and a varietistic sex instinct again --_jamais de

  la vie._ But one has to play with somebody."

  Then he was so cheered that he tapped the pavements boldly with

  his stick and delicately touched her arm as they crossed the

  street. For she added:

  "We'll just run in and see them for a little while, and then you

  can take me out and buy me a Rhine wine and seltzer.... Poor

  Mouse, it shall have its play!"

  Olympia Johns' residence consisted of four small rooms. When

  Istra opened the door, after tapping, the living-room was

  occupied by seven people, all interrupting one another and

  drinking fourpenny ale; seven people and a fog of cigarette

  smoke and a tangle of papers and books and hats. A swamp of

  unwashed dishes appeared on a large table in the room just

  beyond, divided off from the living- room by a burlap curtain to

  which were pinned suffrage buttons and medallions. This last he

  remembered afterward, thinking over the room, for the medals'

  glittering points of light relieved his eyes from the

  intolerable glances of the people as he was hastily introduced

  to them. He was afraid that he would be dragged into a

  discussion, and sat looking away from them to the medals, and to

  the walls, on which were posters, showing mighty fists with

  hammers and flaming torches, or hog- like men lolling on the

  chests of workmen, which they seemed to enjoy more than the

  workmen. By and by he ventured to scan the group.

  Carson Haggerty, the American poet, was there. But the center

  of them all was Olympia Johns herself--spinster, thirty- four, as

  small and active and excitedly energetic as an ant trying to get

  around a match. She had much of the ant's brownness and

  slimness, too. Her pale hair was always falling from under her

  fillet of worn black velvet (with the dingy under side of the

  velvet showing curled up at the edges). A lock would tangle in

  front of her eyes, and she would impatiently shove it back with

  a jab of her thin rough hands, never stopping in her machine-gun

  volley of words.

  "Yes, yes, yes, yes," she would pour out. "Don't you _see?_

  We must do something. I tell you the conditions are intolerable,

  simply intolerable. We must _do_ something."

  The conditions were, it seemed, intolerable in the several

  branches of education of female infants, water rates in

  Bloomsbury, the cutlery industry, and ballad-singing.

  And mostly she was right. Only her rightness was so demanding,

  so restless, that it left Mr. Wrenn gasping.

  Olympia depended on Carson Haggerty for most of the "Yes, that's

  so's," though he seemed to be trying to steal glances at another

  woman, a young woman, a lazy smiling pretty girl of twenty, who,

  Istra told Mr. Wrenn, studied Greek archaeology at the Museum.

  No one knew why she studied it. She seemed peacefully ignorant

  of everything but her kissable lips, and she adorably poked at

  things with lazy graceful fingers, and talked the Little

  Language to Carson Haggerty, at which Olympia shrugged her

  shoulders and turned to the others.

  There were a Mr. and Mrs. Stettinius--she a poet; he a bleached

  man, with goatish whiskers and a sanctimonious white neck-cloth,

  who was Puritanically, ethically, gloomily, religiously

  atheistic. Items in the room were a young man who taught in Mr.

  Jeney's Select School and an Established Church mission worker

  from Whitechapel, who loved to be shocked.

  It was Mr. Wrenn who was really shocked, however, not by the

  noise and odor; not by the smoking of the women; not by the

  demand that "we" tear down the state; no, not by these was Our

  Mr. Wrenn of the Souvenir Company shocked, but by his own

  fascinated interest in the frank talk of sex. He had always had

  a quite undefined supposition that it was wicked to talk of sex

  unless one made a joke of it.

  Then came the superradicals, to confuse the radicals who

  confused Mr. Wrenn.

  For always there is a greater rebellion; and though you

  sell your prayer-book to buy Bakunine, and esteem yourself

  revolutionary to a point of madness, you shall find one who

  calls you reactionary. The scorners came in together--Moe

  Tchatzsky, the syndicalist and direct actionist, and Jane

  Schott, the writer of impressionistic prose--and they sat

  silently sneering on a couch.

  Istra rose, nodded at Mr. Wrenn, and departed, despite Olympia's

  hospitable shrieks after them of "Oh stay! It's only a little

  after ten. Do stay and have something to eat."

  Istra shut the door resolutely. The hall was dark. It was

  gratefully quiet. She snatched up Mr. Wrenn's hand and held it

  to her breast.

  "Oh, Mouse dear, I'm so bored! I want some real things. They

  talk and talk in there, and every night they settle all the fate

  of all the nations, always the same way. I don't suppose

  there's ever been a bunch that knew more things incorrectly.

  You hated them, didn't you?"

  "Why, I don't think you ought to talk about them so severe," he

  implored, as they started down-stairs. "I don't mean they're

  like you. They don't savvy like you do. I mean it! But I was

  awful int'rested in what that Miss Johns said about kids in

  school getting crushed into a mold. Gee! that's so; ain't it?

  Never thought of it before. And that Mrs. Stettinius talked

  about Yeats so beautiful."

  "Oh, my dear, you make my task so much harder. I want you to

  be different. Can't you see your cattle-boat experience is realer

  than any of the things those half-baked thinkers have done? I

  _know_. I'm half - baked myself."

  "Oh, I've never done nothing."

  "But you're ready to. Oh, I don't know. I want---- I wish Jock

  Seton--the filibuster I met in San Francisco--I wish he were

  here. Mouse, maybe I can make a filibuster of you. I've got to

  create something. Oh, those people! If you just knew them! That

  fool Mary Stettinius is mad about that Tchatzsky person, and her

  husband invites him to teas. Stettinius is mad about Olympia,


  who'll probably take Carson out and marry him, and he'll keep on

  hanging about the Greek girl. Ungh!"

  "I don't know--I don't know----"

  But as he didn't know what he didn't know she merely patted his

  arm and said, soothingly: "I won't criticize your first

  specimens of radicals any more. They are trying to do something,

  anyway." Then she added, in an irrelevant tone, "You're exactly

  as tall as I am. Mouse dear, you ought to be taller."

  They were entering the drab stretch of Tavistock Place, after a

  silence as drab, when she exclaimed: "Mouse, I am _so_ sick of

  everything. I want to get out, away, anywhere, and do

  something, anything, just so's it's different. Eve n the

  country. I'd like---- Why couldn't we?"

  "Let's go out on a picnic to- morrow, Istra."

  "A picnic picnic? With pickles and a pillow cushion and several

  kinds of cake?... I'm afraid the Bois Boulogne has spoiled me

  for that.... Let me think."

  She drooped down on the steps of their house. Her head back,

  her supple strong throat arched with the passion of hating

  boredom, she devoured the starlight dim over the stale old roofs

  across the way.

  "Stars," she said. "Out on the moors they would come down by

  you.... What is _your_ adventure--your formula for it?... Let's

  see; you take common roadside things seriously; you'd be dear

  and excited over a Red Lion Inn."

  "Are there more than one Red Li----"

  "My dear Mouse, England is a menagerie of Red Lions and White

  Lions and fuzzy Green Unicorns.... Why not, why not, _why not!_

  Let's walk to Aengusmere. It's a fool colony of artists and so

  on, up in Suffolk; but they _have_ got some beautiful cottages,

  and they're more Celt than Dublin.... Start right now; take a

  train to Chelmsford, say, and tramp all night. Take a couple

  of days or so to get there. Think of it! Tramping through dawn,

  past English fields. Think of it, Yankee. And not caring what

  anybody in the world thinks. Gipsies. Shall we?"

  "Wh-h-h-h-y----" He was sure she was mad. Tramping all night!

  He couldn't let her do this.

  She sprang up. She stared down at him in revulsion, her hands

  clenched. Her voice was hostile as she demanded:

  "What? Don't you want to? With _me?_"

  He was up beside her, angry, dignified; a man.

  "Look here. You know I want to. You're the elegantest--I mean

  you're---- Oh, you ought to know! Can't you see how I feel

 

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