Our Mister Wren

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by Lewis, Sinclair


  sound of the rain on the thatch.

  But the rain was not soon over, and their dangling position was

  very much like riding a rail.

  "I'm so uncomfortable!" fretted Istra.

  "See here, Istra, please, I think I'd better go see if I can't

  find a house for you to get dry in."

  "I feel too wretched to go any place. Too wretched to move."

  "Well, then, I'll make a fire here. There ain't much danger."

  "The place will catch fire," she began, querulously.

  But he interrupted her. "Oh, _let_ the darn place catch fire!

  I'm going to make a fire, I tell you!"

  "I don't want to move. It'll just be another kind of

  discomfort, that's all. Why couldn't you try and take a little

  bit of care of me, anyway?"

  "Oh, hon-ey!" he wailed, in youthful bewilderment. "I did try

  to get you to stay at that hotel in town and get some rest."

  "Well, you ought to have made me. Don't you realize that I took

  you along to take care of me?"

  "Uh----"

  "Now don't argue about it. I can't stand argument all the time."

  He thought instantly of Lee Theresa Zapp quarreling with her

  mother, but he said nothing. He gathered the driest bits of

  thatch and wood he could find in the litter on the stable floor

  and kindled a fire, while she sat sullenly glaring at him, her

  face wrinkled and tired in the wan firelight. When the blaze

  was going steadily, a compact and safe little fire, he spread

  his coat as a seat for her, and called, cheerily, "Come on now,

  honey; here's a regular home and hearthstone for you."

  She slipped down from the manger edge and stood in front of him,

  looking into his eyes--which were level with her own.

  "You _are_ good to me," she half whispered, and smoothed his

  cheek, then slipped down on the outspread coat, and murmured,

  "Come; sit here by me, and we'll both get warm."

  All night the rain dribbled, but no one came to drive them away

  from the fire, and they dozed side by side, their hands close

  and their garments steaming. Istra fell asleep, and her head

  drooped on his shoulder. He straightened to bear its weight,

  though his back twinged with stiffness, and there he sat

  unmoving, through an hour of pain and happiness and confused

  meditation, studying the curious background--the dark roof of

  broken thatch, the age-corroded walls, the littered earthen

  floor. His hand pressed lightly the clammy smoothness of the

  wet khaki of her shoulder; his wet sleeve stuck to his arm, and

  he wanted to pull it free. His eyes stung. But he sat tight,

  while his mind ran round in circles, considering that he loved

  Istra, and that he would not be entirely sorry when he was no

  longer the slave to her moods; that this adventure was the

  strangest and most romantic, also the most idiotic and useless,

  in history.

  Toward dawn she stirred, and, slipping stiffly from his

  position, he moved her so that her back, which was still wet,

  faced the fire. He built up the fire again, and sat brooding

  beside her, dozing and starting awake, till morning. Then his

  head bobbed, and he was dimly awake again, to find her sitting

  up straight, looking at him in amazement.

  "It simply can't be, that's all.... Did you curl me up? I'm

  nice and dry all over now. It was very good of you. You've

  been a most commendable person.... But I think we'll take a

  train for the rest of our pilgrimage. It hasn't been entirely

  successful, I'm afraid."

  "Perhaps we'd better."

  For a moment he hated her, with her smooth politeness, after a

  night when she had been unbearable and human by turns. He hated

  her bedraggled hair and tired face. Then he could have wept, so

  deeply did he desire to pull her head down on his shoulder and

  smooth the wrinkles of weariness out of her dear face, the

  dearer because they had endured the weariness together. But he

  said, "Well, let's try to get some breakfast first, Istra."

  With their garments wrinkled from rain, half asleep and rather

  cross, they arrived at the esthetic but respectable colony of

  Aengusmere by the noon train.

  CHAPTER XI

  HE BUYS AN ORANGE TIE

  The Aengusmere Caravanserai is so unyieldingly cheerful and

  artistic that it makes the ordinary person long for a dingy

  old-fashioned room in which he can play solitaire and chew gum

  without being rebuked with exasperating patience by the wall

  stencils and clever etchings and polished brasses. It is

  adjectiferous. The common room (which is uncommon for hotel

  parlor) is all in superlatives and chintzes.

  Istra had gone up to her room to sleep, bidding Mr. Wrenn do

  likewise and avoid the wrong bunch at the Caravanserai; for

  besides the wrong bunch of Interesting People there were, she

  explained, a right bunch, of working artists. But he wanted to

  get some new clothes, to replace his rain-wrinkled ready-mades.

  He was tottering through the common room, wondering whether he

  could find a clothing-shop in Aengusmere, when a shrill gurgle

  from a wing-chair by the rough-brick fireplace halted him.

  "Oh-h-h-h, _Mister_ Wrenn; Mr. _Wrenn!_" There sat Mrs. Stettinius,

  the poet- lady of Olympia's rooms on Great James Street.

  "Oh-h-h-h, Mr. Wrenn, you _bad_ man, _do_ come sit down and tell

  me all _about_ your _wonderful_ trek with Istra Nash. I _just_ met

  _dear_ Istra in the upper hall. Poor dear, she was _so_ crumpled,

  but her hair was like a sunset over mountain peaks--you know, as

  Yeats says:

  "A stormy sunset were her lips,

  A stormy sunset on doomed ships,

  only of course this was her _hair_ and not her _lips_--and she

  told me that you had tramped all the _way_ from London. I've

  never heard of anything so romantic--or no, I won't say

  `romantic'--I _do_ agree with dear Olympia--_isn't_ she a

  mag_nificent_ woman--_so_ fearless and progressive--didn't you

  _adore_ meeting her?--she is our modern Joan of Arc--such a _noble_

  figure--I _do_ agree with her that _romantic_ love is _passe_,

  that we have entered the era of glorious companionship that

  regards varietism as _exactly_ as romantic as monogamy.

  But--but--where was I?--I think your gipsying down from London

  was _most_ exciting. Now _do_ tell us all about it, Mr. Wrenn.

  First, I want you to meet Miss Saxonby and Mr. Gutch and _dear_

  Yilyena Dourschetsky and Mr. Howard Bancock Binch--of course you

  know his poetry."

  And then she drew a breath and flopped back into the

  wing-chair's muffling depths.

  During all this Mr. Wrenn had stood, frightened and unprotected

  and rain-wrinkled, before the gathering by the fireless

  fireplace, wondering how Mrs. Stettinius could get her nose so

  blue and yet so powdery. Despite her encouragement he gave no

  fuller account of the "gipsying" than, "Why--uh--we just

  tramped down," till Russian-Jewish Yilyena rolled her ebony eyes

  at him and insisted, "Yez, you mus' tale us about it."

  Now, Yilyena had a pretty neck, colored like a cigar of
mild

  flavor, and a trick of smiling. She was accustomed to having

  men obey her. Mr. Wrenn stammered:

  "Why--uh--we just walked, and we got caught in the rain. Say,

  Miss Nash was a wonder. She never peeped when she got soaked

  through--she just laughed and beat it like everything. And we

  saw a lot of quaint English places along the road--got away from

  all them tourists--trippers--you know."

  A perfectly strange person, a heavy old man with horn spectacles

  and a soft shirt, who had joined the group unbidden, cleared his

  throat and interrupted:

  "Is it not a strange paradox that in traveling, the most

  observant of all pursuits, one should have to encounter the

  eternal bourgeoisie!"

  From the Cockney Greek chorus about the unlighted fire:

  "Yes!"

  "Everywhere."

  "Uh----" began Mr. Gutch. He apparently had something to say.

  But the chorus went on:

  "And just as swelteringly monogamic in Port Said as in Brum."

  "Yes, that's so."

  "Mr. Wr-r-renn," thrilled Mrs. Stettinius, the lady poet, "didn't

  you notice that they were perfectly oblivious of all economic

  movements; that their observations never post-dated ruins?"

  "I guess they wanted to make sure they were admirin' the right

  things," ventured Mr. Wrenn, with secret terror.

  "Yes, that's so," came so approvingly from the Greek chorus that

  the personal pupil of Mittyford, Ph.D., made his first epigram:

  "It isn't so much what you like as what you don't like that

  shows if you're wise."

  "Yes," they gurgled; and Mr. Wrenn, much pleased with himself,

  smiled _au prince_ upon his new friends.

  Mrs. Stettinius was getting into her stride for a few remarks

  upon the poetry of industrialism when Mr. Gutch, who had been

  "Uh--"ing for some moments, trying to get in his remark, winked

  with sly rudeness at Miss Saxonby and observed:

  "I fancy romance isn't quite dead yet, y' know. Our friends

  here seem to have had quite a ro-mantic little journey." Then he

  winked again.

  "Say, what do you mean?" demanded Bill Wrenn, hot-eyed, fists

  clenched, but very quiet.

  "Oh, I'm not _blaming_ you and Miss Nash--quite the reverse!"

  tittered the Gutch person, wagging his head sagely.

  Then Bill Wrenn, with his fist at Mr. Gutch's nose, spoke his mind:

  "Say, you white- faced unhealthy dirty-minded lump, I ain't much

  of a fighter, but I'm going to muss you up so's you can't find

  your ears if you don't apologize for those insinuations."

  "Oh, Mr. Wrenn----"

  "He didn't mean----"

  "I didn't mean----"

  "He was just spoofing----"

  "I was just spoofing----"

  Bill Wrenn, watching the dramatization of himself as hero, was

  enjoying the drama. "You apologize, then?"

  "Why certainly, Mr. Wrenn. Let me explain----"

  "Oh, don't explain," snortled Miss Saxonby.

  "Yes!" from Mr. Bancock Binch, "explanations are _so_

  conventional, old chap."

  Do you see them?--Mr. Wrenn, self-conscious and ready to turn

  into a blind belligerent Bill Wrenn at the first disrespect; the

  talkers sitting about and assassinating all the princes and

  proprieties and, poor things, taking Mr. Wrenn quite seriously

  because he had uncovered the great truth that the important

  thing in sight-seeing is not to see sights. He was most

  unhappy, Mr. Wrenn was, and wanted to be away from there.

  He darted as from a spring when he heard Istra's voice, from

  the edge of the group, calling, "Come here a sec', Billy."

  She was standing with a chair-back for support, tired but smiling.

  "I can't get to sleep yet. Don't you want me to show you some

  of the buildings here?"

  "Oh _yes!_"

  "If Mrs. Stettinius can spare you!"

  This by way of remarking on the fact that the female poet was

  staring volubly.

  "G-g-g-g-g-g----" said Mrs. Stettinius, which seemed to imply

  perfect consent.

  Istra took him to the belvedere on a little slope overlooking

  the lawns of Aengusmere, scattered with low bungalows and

  rose-gardens.

  "It is beautiful, isn't it? Perhaps one could be happy here--if

  one could kill all the people except the architect," she mused.

  "Oh, it is," he glowed.

  Standing there beside her, happiness enveloping them, looking

  across the marvelous sward, Bill Wrenn was at the climax of his

  comedy of triumph. Admitted to a world of lawns and bungalows

  and big studio windows, standing in a belvedere beside Istra

  Nash as her friend----

  "Mouse dear," she said, hesitatingly, "the reason why I wanted

  to have you come out here, why I couldn't sleep, I wanted to

  tell you how ashamed I am for having been peevish, being

  petulant, last night. I'm so sorry, because you were very

  patient with me, you were very good to me. I don't want you to

  think of me just as a crochety woman who didn't appreciate you.

  You are very kind, and when I hear that you're married to some

  nice girl I'll be as happy as can be."

  "Oh, Istra," he cried, grasping her arm, "I don't want any girl

  in the world--I mean--oh, I just want to be let go 'round with

  you when you'll let me----"

  "No, no, dear. You must have seen last night; that's impossible.

  Please don't argue about it now; I'm too tired. I just wanted

  to tell you I appreciated---- And when you get back to America

  you won't be any the worse for playing around with poor Istra

  because she told you about different things from what you've

  played with, about rearing children as individuals and

  painting in _tempera_ and all those things? And--and I don't

  want you to get too fond of me, because we're--different....

  But we have had an adventure, even if it was a little moist."

  She paused; then, cheerily: "Well, I'm going to beat it back

  and try to sleep again. Good-by, Mouse dear. No, don't come

  back to the Cara-advanced-serai. Play around and see the

  animiles. G'-by."

  He watched her straight swaying figure swing across the lawn and up

  the steps of the half-timbered inn. He watched her enter the door

  before he hastened to the shops which clustered about the railway-

  station, outside of the poetic preserves of the colony proper.

  He noticed, as he went, that the men crossing the green were

  mostly clad in Norfolk jackets and knickers, so he purchased the

  first pair of unrespectable un-ankle-concealing trousers he had

  owned since small boyhood, and a jacket of rough serge, with a

  gaudy buckle on the belt. Also, he actually dared an orange tie!

  He wanted something for Istra at dinner----"a s'prise," he

  whispered under his breath, with fond babying. For the first

  time in his life he entered a florist's shop.... Normally, you

  know, the poor of the city cannot afford flowers till they are

  dead, and then for but one day.... He came out with a bunch of

  orchids, and remembered the days when he had envied the people

  he had seen in florists' shops actually buying flowers.
When he

  was almost at the Caravanserai he wanted to go back and change

  the orchids for simpler flowers, roses or carnations, but he got

  himself not to.

  The linen and glassware and silver of the Caravanserai were

  almost as coarse as those of a temperance hotel, for all the

  raftered ceiling and the etchings in the dining-room. Hunting up

  the stewardess of the inn, a bustling young woman who was

  reading Keats energetically at an office-like desk, Mr. Wrenn

  begged: "I wonder could I get some special cups and plates and

  stuff for high tea tonight. I got a kind of party----"

  "How many?" The stewardess issued the words as though he had put

  a penny in the slot.

  "Just two. Kind of a birthday party." Mendacious Mr. Wrenn!

  "Certainly. Of course there's a small extra charge. I have a

  Royal Satsuma tea-service--practically Royal Satsuma, at

  least--and some special Limoges."

  "I think Royal Sats'ma would be nice. And some silverware?"

  "Surely."

  "And could we get some special stuff to eat?"

  "What would you like?"

  "Why----"

  Mendacious Mr. Wrenn! as we have commented. He put his head on

  one side, rubbed his chin with nice consideration, and

  condescended, "What would you suggest?"

  "For a party high tea? Why, perhaps consomme and omelet

  Bergerac and a salad and a sweet and _cafe diable_. We have a

  chef who does French eggs rather remarkably. That would be

  simple, but----"

  "Yes, that would be very good," gravely granted the patron of

  cuisine. "At six; for two."

  As he walked away he grinned within. "Gee! I talked to that

  omelet Berg' rac like I'd known it all my life!"

  Other s'prises for Istra's party he sought. Let's see; suppose

  it really were her birthday, wouldn't she like to have a letter

  from some important guy? he queried of himself. He'd write

  her a make-b'lieve letter from a duke. Which he did.

  Purchasing a stamp, he humped over a desk in the common room and

  with infinite pains he inked the stamp in imitation of a

  postmark and addressed the letter to "Lady Istra Nash, Mouse

  Castle, Suffolk."

  Some one sat down at the desk opposite him, and he jealously

  carried the task upstairs to his room. He rang for pen and ink

  as regally as though he had never sat at the wrong end of a

  buzzer. After half an hour of trying to visualize a duke

  writing a letter he produced this:

 

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