Our Mister Wren

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Our Mister Wren Page 19

by Lewis, Sinclair


  jotted down on envelope backs, from that music.

  At last comes the historic match-box incident.

  On that October evening in 1910 he dined early at Miggleton's.

  The thirty-cent table d'hote was perfect. The cream-of-corn soup

  was, he went so far as to remark to the waitress, "simply slick";

  the Waldorf salad had two whole walnuts in his portion alone.

  The fat man with the white waistcoat, whom he had often noted as

  dining in this same corner of the restaurant, smiled at him and

  said "Pleasant evening" as he sat down opposite Mr. Wrenn and

  smoothed the two sleek bangs which decorated the front of his

  nearly bald head.

  The music included a "potpourri of airs from `The Merry Widow,'"

  which set his foot tapping. All the while he was conscious

  that he'd made the Seattle Novelty and Stationery Corner Store

  come through with a five-hundred-dollar order on one of his letters.

  The _Journal_ contained an editorial essay on "Friendship" which

  would have been, and was, a credit to Cicero.

  He laid down the paper, stirred his large cup of coffee, and

  stared at the mother-of-pearl buttons on the waistcoat of the

  fat man, who was now gulping down soup, opposite him. "My

  land!" he was thinking, "friendship! I ain't even begun to

  make all those friends I was going to. Haven't done a thing.

  Oh, I will; I must!"

  "Nice night," said the fat man.

  "Yuh--it sure is," brightly agreed Mr. Wrenn.

  "Reg'lar Indian-Summer weather."

  "Yes, isn't it! I feel like taking a walk on Riverside

  Drive--b'lieve I will."

  "Wish I had time. But I gotta get down to the

  store--cigar-store. I'm on nights, three times a week."

  "Yuh. I've seen you here most every time I eat early,"

  Mr. Wrenn purred.

  "Yuh. The rest of the time I eat at the boarding-house."

  Silence. But Mr. Wrenn was fighting for things to say, means of

  approach, for the chance to become acquainted with a new person,

  for all the friendly human ways he had desired in nights of

  loneliness.

  "Wonder when they'll get the Grand Central done?" asked the fat man.

  "I s'pose it'll take quite a few years," said Mr. Wrenn,

  conversationally.

  "Yuh. I s'pose it will."

  Silence.

  Mr. Wrenn sat trying to think of something else to say. Lonely

  people in city restaurants simply do not get acquainted. Yet he

  did manage to observe, "Great building that'll be," in the

  friendliest manner.

  Silence.

  Then the fat man went on:

  "Wonder what Wolgast will do in his mill? Don't believe he can

  stand up."

  Wolgast was, Mr. Wrenn seemed to remember, a pugilist. He

  agreed vaguely:

  "Pretty hard, all right."

  "Go out to the areoplane meet?" asked the fat man.

  "No. But I'd like to see it. Gee! there must be kind of--kind

  of adventure in them things, heh?"

  "Yuh--sure is. First machine I saw, though--I was just getting

  off the train at Belmont Park, and there was an areoplane up in

  the air, and it looked like one of them big mechanical beetles

  these fellows sell on the street buzzing around up there. I was

  kind of disappointed. But what do you think? It was that J.

  A. D. McCurdy, in a Curtiss biplane--I think it was--and by

  golly! he got to circling around and racing and tipping so's I

  thought I'd loose my hat off, I was so excited. And, say, what

  do you think? I see McCurdy himself, afterward, standing near

  one of the--the handgars--handsome young chap, not over

  twenty-eight or thirty, built like a half- miler. And then I see

  Ralph Johnstone and Arch Hoxey----"

  "Gee!" Mr. Wrenn was breathing.

  "----dipping and doing the--what do you call it?--Dutch

  sausage-roll or something like that. Yelled my head off."

  "Oh, it must have been great to see 'em, and so close, too."

  "Yuh--it sure was."

  There seemed to be no other questions to settle. Mr. Wrenn

  slowly folded up his paper, pursued his check under three plates

  and the menu-card to its hiding-place beyond the catsup-bottle,

  and left the table with a regretful "Good night."

  At the desk of the cashier, a decorative blonde, he put a cent

  in the machine which good- naturedly drops out boxes of matches.

  No box dropped this time, though he worked the lever noisily.

  "Out of order?" asked the cashier lady. "Here's two boxes of

  matches. Guess you've earned them."

  "Well, well, well, well!" sounded the voice of his friend, the

  fat man, who stood at the desk paying his bill. "Pretty easy,

  heh? Two boxes for one cent! Sting the restaurant." Cocking his

  head, he carefully inserted a cent in the slot and clattered the

  lever, turning to grin at Mr. Wrenn, who grinned back as the

  machine failed to work.

  "Let me try it," caroled Mr. Wrenn, and pounded the lever with

  the enthusiasm of comradeship.

  "Nothing doing, lady," crowed the fat man to the cashier.

  "I guess _I_ draw two boxes, too, eh? And I'm in a cigar-store.

  How's that for stinging your competitors, heh? Ho, ho, ho!"

  The cashier handed him two boxes, with an embarrassed simper,

  and the fat man clapped Mr. Wrenn's shoulder joyously.

  "My turn!" shouted a young man in a fuzzy green hat and a

  bright-brown suit, who had been watching with the sudden

  friendship which unites a crowd brought together by an accident.

  Mr. Wrenn was glowing. "No, it ain't--it's mine," he achieved.

  "I invented this game." Never had he so stood forth in a crowd.

  He was a Bill Wrenn with the cosmopolitan polish of a

  floor-walker. He stood beside the fat man as a friend of sorts,

  a person to be taken perfectly seriously.

  It is true that he didn't add to this spiritual triumph the

  triumph of getting two more boxes of matches, for the

  cashier- girl exclaimed, "No indeedy; it's my turn!" and lifted

  the match machine to a high shelf behind her. But Mr. Wrenn

  went out of the restaurant with his old friend, the fat man,

  saying to him quite as would a wit, "I guess we get stung, eh?"

  "Yuh!" gurgled the fat man.

  Walking down to your store?"

  "Yuh--sure--won't you walk down a piece?"

  "Yes, I would like to. Which way is it?"

  "Fourth Avenue and Twenty-eighth."

  "Walk down with you."

  "Fine!"

  And the fat man seemed to mean it. He confided to Mr. Wrenn

  that the fishing was something elegant at Trulen, New Jersey;

  that he was some punkins at the casting of flies in fishing;

  that he wished exceedingly to be at Trulen fishing with flies,

  but was prevented by the manager of the cigar-store; that the

  manager was an old devil; that his (the fat man's own) name was

  Tom Poppins; that the store had a slick new brand of Manila

  cigars, kept in a swell new humidor bought upon the advice of

  himself (Mr. Poppins); that one of the young clerks in the store

  had done fine in the Modified Marathon; that the Cubs had had a

  great team this year; that he'd be glad to give Mr
. -- Mr.

  Wrenn, eh?-- one of those Manila cigars--great cigars they were,

  too; and that he hadn't "laughed so much for a month of Sundays

  as he had over the way they stung Miggleton's on them matches."

  All this in the easy, affectionate, slightly wistful manner of

  fat men. Mr. Poppins's large round friendly childish eyes were

  never sarcastic. He was the man who makes of a crowd in the

  Pullman smoking-room old friends in half an hour. In turn, Mr.

  Wrenn did not shy off; he hinted at most of his lifelong

  ambitions and a fair number of his sorrows and, whe n they

  reached the store, not only calmly accepted, but even sneezingly

  ignited one of the "slick new Manila cigars."

  As he left the store he knew that the golden age had begun.

  He had a friend!

  He was to see Tom Poppins the coming Thursday at Miggleton's.

  And now he was going to find Morton! He laughed so loudly that

  the policeman at Thirty-fourth Street looked self-conscious and

  felt secretively to find out what was the matter with his

  uniform. Now, this evening, he'd try to get on the track of

  Morton. Well, perhaps not this evening--the Pennsylvania

  offices wouldn't be open, but some time this week, anyway.

  Two nights later, as he waited for Tom Poppins at Miggleton's,

  he lashed himself with the thought that he had not started to

  find Morton; good old Morton of the cattle-boat. But that was

  forgotten in the wonder of Tom Poppins's account of Mrs. Arty's,

  a boarding-house "where all the folks likes each other."

  "You've never fed at a boarding- house, eh?" said Tom. "Well, I

  guess most of 'em are pretty poor feed. And pretty sad bunch.

  But Mrs. Arty's is about as near like home as most of us poor

  bachelors ever gets. Nice crowd there. If Mrs. Arty--Mrs. R.

  T. Ferrard is her name, but we always call her Mrs. Arty--if she

  don't take to you she don't mind letting you know she won't take

  you in at all; but if she does she'll worry over the holes in your

  socks as if they was her husband's. All the bunch there drop into

  the parlor when they come in, pretty near any time clear up till

  twelve-thirty, and talk and laugh and rush the growler and play

  Five Hundred. Just like home!

  "Mrs. Arty's nearly as fat as I am, but she can be pretty spry

  if there's something she can do for you. Nice crowd there, too

  except that Teddem--he's one of these here Willy-boy actors,

  always out of work; I guess Mrs. Arty is kind of sorry for him.

  Say, Wrenn--you seem to me like a good fellow--why don't you get

  acquainted with the bunch? Maybe you'd like to move up there

  some time. You was telling me about what a cranky old party

  your landlady is. Anyway, come on up there to dinner. On me.

  Got anything on for next Monday evening?"

  "N-no."

  "Come on up then-- ---- East Thirtieth."

  "Gee, I'd like to!"

  "Well, why don't you, then? Get there about six. Ask for me.

  Monday. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I don't have to get to the

  store evenings. Come on; you'll find out if you like the place."

  "By jiminy, I will!" Mr. Wrenn slapped the table, socially.

  At last he was "through, just _through_ with loafing around and

  not getting acquainted," he told himself. He was tired of

  Zapps. There was nothing to Zapps. He would go up to Mrs.

  Arty's and now--he was going to find Morton. Next morning,

  marveling at himself for not having done this easy task before,

  he telephoned to the Pennsylvania Railroad offices, asked for

  Morton, and in one-half minute heard:

  "Yes? This is Harry Morton."

  "Hullo, Mr. Morton! I'll just bet you can't guess who this is."

  "I guess you've got me."

  "Well, who do you think it----"

  "Jack?"

  "Hunka."

  "Uncle Henry?"

  "Nope." Mr. Wrenn felt lonely at finding himself so completely

  outside Morton's own world that he was not thought of.

  He hastened to claim a part in that world:

  "Say, Mr. Morton, I wonder if you've ever heard of a cattle-boat

  called the _Merian?_"

  "I---- Say! Is this Bill Wrenn?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, well, well! Where areyou? When'd you get back?"

  "Oh, I been back quite a little while, Morty. Tried to get hold

  of you--almost called up couple of times. I'm in my

  office--Souvenir Company--now. Back on the old job. Say, I'd

  like to see you."

  "Well, I'd like to see _you_, old Bill!"

  "Got a date for dinner this evening, Morty?"

  "N-no. No, I don't _think_ I've got anything on." Morton's voice

  seemed to sound a doubt. Mr. Wrenn reflected that Morton must

  be a society person; and he made his invitation highly polite:

  "Well, say, old man, I'd be awful happy if you could come over

  and feed on me. Can't you come over and meet me, Morty?"

  "Y-yes, I guess I can. Yes, I'll do it. Where'll I meet you?"

  "How about Twenty-eighth and Sixth Avenue?"

  "That'll be all right, Bill. 'Bout six o'clock?"

  "Fine! Be awful nice to see you again, old Morty."

  "Same here. Goo'-by."

  Gazing across the table at Miggleton's, Mr. Wrenn saw, in the

  squat familiar body and sturdy face of Morton of the cattle-boat,

  a stranger, slightly uneasy and very quiet, wearing garments that

  had nothing whatever to do with the cattle-boats--a crimson scarf

  with a horseshoe-pin of "Brazilian diamonds," and sleek brown

  ready-made clothes with ornately curved cuffs and pocket flaps.

  Morton would say nothing of his wanderings after their parting

  in Liverpool beyond: "Oh, I just bummed around. Places....

  Warm to- night. For this time of year." Thrice he explained, "I

  was kind of afraid you'd be sore at me for the way I left you;

  that's why I've never looked you up." Thrice Mr. Wrenn declared

  that he had not been "sore," then ceased trying to make himself

  understood.

  Their talk wilted. Both of them played with their knives a good

  deal. Morton built a set of triangles out of toothpicks while

  pretending to give hushed attention to the pianist's rendition

  of "Mammy's Little Cootsie Bootsie Coon," while Mr. Wrenn

  stared out of the window as though he expected to see the

  building across get afire immediately. When either of them

  invented something to say they started chattering with guilty

  haste, and each agreed hectically with any opinion the other

  advanced.

  Mr. Wrenn surprised himself in the thought that Morton hadn't

  anything very new to say, which made him feel so disloyal that

  he burst out, effusively:

  "Say, come on now, old man; I just got to hear about what you

  did after you left Liverpool."

  "I----"

  "Well----"

  "I never got out of Liverpool! Worked in a restaurant.... But

  next time----! I'll go clean to Constantinople!" Morton

  exploded. "And I did see a lot of English life in Liverpool."

  Mr. Wrenn talked long and rapidly of the world's baseball

  series, and Regal _vs._ Walkover shoes.

  He tried to think of something they could do. S
uddenly:

  "Say, Morty, I know an awful nice guy down here in a

  cigar-store. Let's go down and see him."

  "All right."

  Tom Poppins was very cordial to them. He dragged brown canvas

  stools out of the tobacco-scented room where cigars were made,

  and the three of them squatted in the back of the store, while

  Tom gossiped of the Juarez races, Taft, cigar-wrappers, and Jews.

  Morton was aroused to tell the time-mellowed story of the judge

  and the darky. He was cheerful and laughed much and frequently

  said "Ah there, cull!" in general commendation. But he kept

  looking at the clock on the jog in the wall over the

  watercooler. Just at ten he rose abashedly, hesitated, and

  murmured, "Well, I guess I'll have to be beating it home."

  From Mr. Wrenn: "Oh, Morty! So early?"

  Tom: "What's the big hurry?"

  "I've got to run clear over to Jersey City." Morton was cordial,

  but not convincing.

  "Say--uh--Morton," said Tom, kindly of face, his bald head

  shining behind his twin bangs, as he rose, "I'm going to have

  Wrenn up to dinner at my boarding-house next Monday. Like to

  have you come along. It's a fine place--Mrs. Arty--she's the

  landlady--she's a wonder. There's going to be a vacant room

  there--maybe you two fellows could frame it up to take it, heh?

  Understand, I don't get no rake-off on this, but we all like to

  do what we can for M----"

  "No, no!" said Morton. "Sorry. Couldn't do it. Staying with

  my brother-in-law--costs me only 'bout half as much as it would

  I don't do much chasing around when I'm in town.... I'm going

  to save up enough money for a good long hike. I'm going clean

  to St. Petersburg!... But I've had a good time to- night."

  "Glad. Great stuff about you fellows on the cattle-ship," said Tom.

  Morton hastened on, protectively, a bit critically: "You fellows

  sport around a good deal, don't you?... I can't afford to....

  Well, good night. Glad to met you, Mr. Poppins. G' night, old Wr----"

  "Going to the ferry? For Jersey? I'll walk over with you,"

  said Mr. Wrenn.

  Their walk was quiet and, for Mr. Wrenn, tragically sad. He saw

  Morton (presumably) doing the wandering he had once planned. He

  felt that, while making his vast new circle of friends, he was

  losing all the wild adventurousness of Bill Wrenn. And he was

  parting with his first friend.

  At the ferry-house Morton pronounced his "Well, so long, old

  fellow" with an affection that meant finality.

 

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