Our Mister Wren

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by Lewis, Sinclair


  pale-blue tie into better lines. In her hair was the scent

  which he had come to identify as hers. Her white furs brushed

  against his overcoat.

  The cigar- makers, with seven of them in full evening-dress and

  two in dinner-coats, were already dancing on the waxy floor of

  Melpomene Hall when they arrived. A full orchestra was pounding

  and scraping itself into an hysteria of merriment on the

  platform under the red stucco- fronted balcony, and at the bar

  behind the balcony there was a spirit of beer and revelry by night.

  Mr. Wrenn embarrassedly passed large groups of pretty girls.

  He felt very light and insecure in his new gun-metal- finish

  pumps now that he had taken off his rubbers and essayed the

  slippery floor. He tried desperately not to use his handkerchief

  too conspicuously, though he had a cold.

  It was not till the choosing of partners for the next dance,

  when Tom Poppins stood up beside Nelly, their arms swaying a

  little, their feet tapping, that Mr. Wrenn quite got the fact

  that he could not dance.

  He had casually said to the others, a week before, that he knew

  only the square dances which, as a boy, he had learned at

  parties at Parthenon. But they had reassured him: "Oh, come

  on--we'll teach you how to dance at the ball--it won't be formal.

  Besides, we'll give you some lessons before we go."

  Playwriting and playing Five Hundred had prevented their giving

  him the lessons. So he now sat terrified as a two-step began

  and he saw what seemed to be thousands of glittering youths and

  maidens whirling deftly in a most involved course, getting

  themselves past each other in a way which he was sure he could

  never imitate. The orchestra yearned over music as rich and

  smooth as milk chocolate, which made him intensely lonely for

  Nelly, though she was only across the room from him.

  Tom Poppins immediately introduced Nelly to a facetious cigar

  salesman, who introduced her to three of the beaux in evening

  clothes, while Tom led out Mrs. Arty. Mr. Wrenn, sitting in a

  row of persons who were not at all interested in his sorrows,

  glowered out across the hall, and wished, oh! so bitterly, to

  flee home. Nelly came up, glowing, laughing, with

  black-mustached and pearl-waistcoated men, and introduced him to

  them, but he glanced at them disapprovingly; and always she was

  carried off to dance again.

  She found and hopefully introduced to Mr. Wrenn a wallflower who

  came from Yonkers and had never heard of Tom Poppins or

  aeroplanes or Oxford or any other topic upon which Mr. Wrenn

  uneasily tried to discourse as he watched Nelly waltz and smile

  up at her partners. Presently the two sat silent. The wallflower

  excused herself and went back to her mama from Yonkers.

  Mr. Wrenn sat sulking, hating his friends for having brought

  him, hating the sweetness of Nelly Croubel, and saying to

  himself, "Oh--_sure_--she dances with all those other men--me,

  I'm only the poor fool that talks to her when she's tired and

  tries to cheer her up."

  He did not answer when Tom came and told him a new story he had

  just heard in the barroom.

  Once Nelly landed beside him and bubblingly insisted on his

  coming out and trying to learn to dance. He brightened, but

  shyly remarked, "Oh no, I don't think I'd better." Just then the

  blackest-mustached and pearl-waistcoatedest of all the cigar

  salesmen came begging for a dance, and she was gone, with only:

  "Now get up your courage. I'm going to _make_ you dance."

  At the intermission he watched her cross the floor with the

  hateful cigar salesman, slender in her tight crisp new white

  mull, flourishing her fan and talking with happy rapidity.

  She sat down beside him. He said nothing; he still stared out

  across the glassy floor. She peeped at him curiously several

  times, and made a low tapping with her fan on the side of her chair.

  She sighed a little. Cautiously, but very casually, she said,

  "Aren't you going to take me out for some refreshments, Mr. Wrenn?"

  "Oh sure--I'm good enough to buy refreshments for her!" he said

  to himself.

  Poor Mr. Wrenn; he had not gone to enough parties in Parthenon,

  and he hadn't gone to any in New York. At nearly forty he was

  just learning the drab sulkiness and churlishness and black

  jealousy of the lover.... To her: "Why didn't you go out with

  that guy with the black mustache?" He still stared straight ahead.

  She was big-eyed, a tear showing. "Why, Billy----" was all she

  answered.

  He clenched his hands to keep from bursting out with all the

  pitiful tears which were surging in his eyes. But he said nothing.

  "Billy, what----"

  He turned shyly around to her; his hand touched hers softly.

  "Oh, I'm a beast," he said, rapidly, low, his undertone

  trembling to her ears through the laughter of a group next to

  them. "I didn't mean that, but I was--I felt like such a

  mutt--not being able to dance. Oh, Nelly, I'm awfully sorry.

  You know I didn't mean---- _Come on!_ Let's go get something to eat!"

  As they consumed ice-cream, fudge, doughnuts, and chicken

  sandwiches at the refreshment counter they were very intimate,

  resenting the presence of others. Tom and Mrs. Arty joined

  them. Tom made Nelly light her first cigarette. Mr. Wrenn

  admired the shy way in which, taking the tiniest of puffs, she

  kept drawing out her cigarette with little pouts and nose

  wriggles and pretended sneezes, but he fe lt a lofty gladness

  when she threw it away after a minute, declaring that she'd

  never smoke again, and that she was going to make all three of

  her companions stop smoking, "now that she knew how horrid and

  sneezy it was, so there!"

  With what he intended to be deep subtlety Mr. Wrenn drew her

  away to the barroom, and these two children, over two glasses of

  ginger-ale, looked their innocent and rustic love so plainly

  that Mrs. Arty and Tom sneaked away. Nelly cut out a dance,

  which she had promised to a cigar-maker, and started homeward

  with Mr. Wrenn.

  "Let's not take a car--I want some fresh air after that smoky

  place," she said. "But it _was_ grand.... Let's walk up

  Fifth Avenue."

  "Fine.... Tired, Nelly?"

  "A little."

  He thought her voice somewhat chilly.

  "Nelly--I'm so sorry--I didn't really have the chance to tell

  you in there how sorry I was for the way I spoke to you.

  Gee! it was fierce of me--but I felt--I couldn't dance, and--oh----"

  No answer.

  "And you did mind it, didn't you?"

  "Why, I did n't think you were so very nice about it--when I'd

  tried so hard to have you have a good time----"

  "Oh, Nelly, I'm so sorry----"

  There was tragedy in his voice. His shoulders, which he always

  tried to keep as straight as though they were in a vise when he

  walked with her, were drooping.

  She touched his glove. "Oh don't, Billy; it's all right now.

  I understand. Let's forget----"


  "Oh, you're too good to me!"

  Silence.

  As they crossed Twenty-third on Fifth Avenue she took his arm.

  He squeezed her hand. Suddenly the world was all young and

  beautiful and wonderful. It was the first time in his life that

  he had ever walked thus, with the arm of a girl for whom he

  cared cuddled in his. He glanced down at her cheap white furs.

  Snowflakes, tremulous on the fur, were turned into diamond dust

  in the light from a street-lamp which showed as well a tiny

  place where her collar had been torn and mended ever so

  carefully. Then, in a millionth of a second, he who had been a

  wanderer in the lonely gray regions of a detached man's heart

  knew the pity of love, all its emotion, and the infinite care

  for the beloved that makes a man of a rusty sales-clerk.

  He lifted a face of adoration to the misty wonder of the bare

  trees, whose tracery of twigs filled Madison Squa re; to the

  Metropolitan Tower, with its vast upward stretch toward the

  ruddy sky of the city's winter night. All these mysteries he

  knew and sang. What he _said_ was:

  "Gee, those trees look like a reg'lar picture!... The Tower

  just kind of fades away. Don't it?"

  "Yes, it is pretty," she said, doubtfully, but with a pressure

  of his arm.

  Then they talked like a summer-time brook, planning that he was

  to buy a Christmas bough of evergreen, which she would smuggle

  to breakfast in the morning. Through their chatter persisted

  the new intimacy which had been born in the pain of their

  misunderstanding.

  On January 10th the manuscript of "The Millionaire's Daughter"

  was returned by play-brokers Wendelbaum & Schirtz with this letter:

  DEAR SIR,--We regret to say that we do not find play available.

  We inclose our reader's report on the same. Also inclose bill

  for ten dollars for reading- fee, which kindly remit at early

  convenience.

  He stood in the hall at Mrs. Arty's just before dinner.

  He reread the letter and slowly opened the reader's report,

  which announced:

  "Millionaire's Daughter." One-act vlle. Utterly impos.

  Amateurish to the limit. Dialogue sounds like burlesque of

  Laura Jean Libbey. Can it.

  Nelly was coming down-stairs. He handed her the letter and

  report, then tried to stick out his jaw. She read them. Her

  hand slipped into his. He went quickly toward the basement and

  made himself read the letter--though not the report--to the

  tableful. He burned the manuscript of his play before go ing to

  bed. The next morning he waded into The Job as he never had

  before. He was gloomily certain that he would never get away

  from The Job. But he thought of Nelly a hundred times a day and

  hoped that sometime, some spring night of a burning moon, he

  might dare the great adventure and kiss her. Istra----

  Theoretically, he remembered her as a great experience.

  But what nebulous bodies these theories are!

  That slow but absolutely accurate Five-Hundred player, Mr.

  William Wrenn, known as Billy, glanced triumphantly at Miss

  Proudfoot, who was his partner against Mrs. Arty and James

  T. Duncan,the traveling- man, on that night of late February.

  His was the last bid in the crucial hand of the rubber game.

  The others waited respectfully. Confidently, he bid "Nine

  on no trump."

  "Good Lord, Billl" exclaimed James T. Duncan.

  "I'll make it."

  And he did. He arose a victor. There was no uneasiness, but

  rather all the social polish of Mrs. Arty's at its best, in his

  manner, as he crossed to Mrs. Ebbitt's cha ir and asked: "How is

  Mr. Ebbitt to-night? Pretty rheumatic?" Miss Proudfoot offered

  him a lime tablet, and he accepted it judicially. "I believe

  these tablets are just about as good as Park & Tilford's," he

  said, cocking his head. "Say, Dunk, I'll ma tch you to see who

  rushes a growler of beer. Tom'll be here pretty soon--store

  ought to be closed by now. We'll have some ready for him."

  "Right, Bill," agreed James T. Duncan.

  Mr. Wrenn lost. He departed, after secretively obtaining not

  one, but two pitchers, in one of which he got a "pint of dark"

  and in the other a surprise. He bawled upstairs to Nelly,

  "Come on down, Nelly, can't you? Got a growler of ice-cream

  soda for the ladies!"

  It is true that when Tom arrived and fell to conversational

  blows with James T. Duncan over the merits of a Tom Collins Mr.

  Wrenn was not brilliant, for the reason that he took Tom Collins

  to be a man instead of the drink he really is.

  Yet, as they went up-stairs Miss Proudfoot said to Nelly:

  "Mr. Wrenn is quiet, but I do think in some ways he's one of the

  nicest men I've seen in the house for years. And he is so earnest.

  And I think he'll make a good pinochle player, besides Five Hundred."

  "Yes," said Nelly.

  "I think he was a little shy at first.... _I_ was always

  shy.... But he likes us, and I like folks that like folks."

  "_Yes!_" said Nelly.

  CHAPTER XVII

  HE IS BLOWN BY THE WHIRLWIND

  "He was blown by the whirlwind and followed a wandering flame

  through perilous seas to a happy shore."--_Quoth Francois._

  On an April Monday evening, when a small moon passed shyly over

  the city and the streets were filled with the sound of

  hurdy- gurdies and the spring cries of dancing children, Mr.

  Wrenn pranced down to the basement dining- room early, for Nelly

  Croubel would be down there talking to Mrs. Arty, and he gaily

  wanted to make plans for a picnic to occur the coming Sunday.

  He had a shy unacknowledged hope that he might kiss Nelly after

  such a picnic; he even had the notion that he might some

  day--well, other fellows had been married; why not?

  Miss Mary Proudfoot was mending a rent in the current

  table-cloth with delicate swift motions of her silvery-skinned

  hands. She informed him: "Mr. Duncan will be back from his

  Southern trip in five days. We'll have to have a grand closing

  progressive Five Hundred tournament." Mr. Wrenn was too much

  absorbed in wondering whether Miss Proudfoot would make some of

  her celebrated--and justly celebrated--minced-ham sandwiches

  for the picnic to be much interested. He was not much more

  interested when she said, "Mrs. Ferrard's got a letter or

  something for you."

  Then, as dinner began, Mrs. Ferrard rushed in dramatically and

  said, "There's a telegram for you, Mr. Wrenn!"

  Was it death? Whose death? The table panted, Mr. Wrenn with

  them.... That's what a telegram meant to them.

  Their eyes were like a circle of charging bayonets as he opened

  and read the message--a ship's wireless.

  Meet me _Hesperida._--ISTRA.

  "It's just--a--a business message," he managed to say, and

  splashed his soup. This was not the place to take the feelings

  out of his thumping heart and examine them.

  Dinner was begun. Picnics were conversationally considered in

  all their more important phases--historical, dietetical, and

 
social. Mr. Wrenn talked much and a little wildly. After

  dinner he galloped out to buy a paper. The S.S. _Hesperiida_ was

  due at ten next morning.

  It was an evening of frightened confusion. He tottered along

  Lexington Avenue on a furtive walk. He knew only that he was

  very fond of Nelly, yet pantingly eager to see Istra. He damned

  himself-- "damned" is literal--every other minute for a cad, a

  double-faced traitor, and all the other horrifying things a man

  is likely to declare himself to be for making the discovery that

  two women may be different and yet equally likable. And every

  other minute he reveled in an adventurous gladness that he was

  going to see Istra--actually, incredibly going to see her, just

  the next day! He returned to find Nelly sitting on the steps of

  Mrs. Arty's.

  "Hello."

  "Hello."

  Both good sound observations, and all they could say for a time,

  while Mr. Wrenn examined the under side of the iron steps rail

  minutely.

  "Billy--was it something serious, the telegram?"

  "No, it was---- Miss Nash, the artist I told you about, asked me

  to meet her at the boat. I suppose she wants me to help her

  with her baggage and the customs and all them things. She's

  just coming from Paris."

  "Oh yes, I see."

  So lacking in jealousy was Nelly that Mr. Wrenn was

  disappointed, though he didn't know why. It always hurts to

  have one's thunderous tragedies turn out realistic dialogues.

  "I wonder if you would like to meet her. She's awful well

  educated, but I dunno--maybe she'd strike you as kind of

  snobbish. But she dresses I don't think I ever seen anybody so

  elegant. In dressing, I mean. Course"--hastily-- "she's got

  money, and so she can afford to. But she's--oh, awful nice,

  some ways. I hope you like---- I hope she won't----"

  "Oh, I sha'n't mind if she's a snob. Of course a lady gets used

  to that, working in a department store," she said, chillily;

  then repented swiftly and begged: "Oh, I _didn't_ mean to be

  snippy, Billy. Forgive me! I'm sure Miss Nash will be real

  nice. Does she live here in New York?"

  "No--in California.... I don't know how long she's going to

  stay here."

  "Well--well--hum-m- m. I'm getting _so_ sleepy. I guess I'd

  better go up to bed. Good night."

  Uneasy because he was away from the office, displeased because

  he had to leave his beloved letters to the Southern trade, angry

 

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