by Mia Ford
I shook my head. I regretted the decision now. I’d thought it would be a good idea to go to his house, to try and see what else he wanted from me. Before I went there, I was sure that I would be able to handle another kiss, if that was what he wanted. But now I knew that any physical contact with Grant meant disaster for me. It was like I was falling down a hole, deeper and deeper. It would be so difficult for me to move on from this, to find someone else who could even compare. This was all my fault.
I rushed towards my laptop and switched it on to compose an email to my lawyers. I wanted them to initiate the handing over of the company to Lonex as soon as possible. I wanted to get it over with. Grant was right, as was Sasha. This was the best offer I could get, and Lonex absorbing the company would mean that my code, my programs and my work might actually have a chance to survive. It would also mean that my employees would be taken care of. And also of course, the money was better than I could hope for.
As long as I could get past the fact that I’d seen Grant naked. That his mouth had made me come, I’d be able to move on with my life.
I composed the email and sent it off, only to realize that my fingers were shaking. I was still reeling from the shock of nearly sleeping with him.
I could move away? I thought. I could move to a different city, try and start over. I entertained the thought in my mind for a while, before I figured that alcohol might help.
I had a bottle of whiskey stashed away, which I found and poured myself a large one. It started off as a few sips, but eventually turned into one large gulp. I poured myself some more. What did I have to worry about? It wasn’t like I had to get to work the next day. I had nowhere to be. With that email to my lawyers, I had begun the process of officially being without work. So, what was there stopping me from getting all out drunk and spending the whole day in bed the next day? When was the last time I’d taken a vacation or even a day off?
My thoughts wandered to Grant and I imagined him vacationing in the Bahamas or the Swiss Alps. His arm around a supermodel, or maybe two. Once again, Grant Jennings had overtaken my life. I wish I’d stayed away from him. That I hadn’t gone to that meeting, so that he couldn’t kiss me and mess up my brain.
Within half an hour of starting to drink, I was already drunk. I stripped myself of the blue dress and kicked off my heels. I’d have to wash those clothes, take a shower…hopefully that would get rid of Grant’s smell on them. I could still feel his hands gripping my waist. The weight of his head between my legs. Now I was beginning to wish that I hadn’t stopped him. That I hadn’t pulled away.
There were too many conflicting emotions running through me, and I couldn’t settle on a single one. I’d sold my company. I’d nearly slept with a man who I had feelings for but no future with. I was considering leaving the city I had settled down in. Nothing was going my way, and I felt more miserable now than I’d ever felt before.
Chapter 12
Grant
“Shit, shit, shit!” I kept swearing to myself as I dressed myself. I knew I should have held back, controlled myself. Despite how frustrated I felt, I also knew that Beverley had a very valid reason to be angry with me. Not only was I buying her company, but I had also seduced her. Or had she seduced me? She was the one who had turned up at my house in the middle of the night. What else was it supposed to mean?
Once I was dressed; I walked back to my den and poured myself another few drinks of whiskey. I needed to drink these thoughts away. That was the only way I could deal with it. I still wanted her. I wished she hadn’t pushed me away.
My mind reeling with drink and thoughts of Beverley, I found my phone and her number stored in it. I could feel myself swaying on my feet as I dialed the number. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to her. In fact, it was pretty obvious that she wouldn’t even take my call. She had stormed out of my house without turning back.
Beverley answered, and I crossed my brows in confusion. I hadn’t expected her to. But then I realized that she might not have had my number.
“Hello?” her voice sounded groggy. She had left my house an hour earlier, she couldn’t have already fallen asleep!
“It’s me,” I said, trying to steady my voice.
“Grant?” she asked, and I noticed that her voice had become somewhat screechy.
“Yeah, I just wanted to check if you’d reached home okay,” I said and sat down on my couch. I heard her taking in a deep breath.
“Yes, I’ve been driving home by myself for several years now,” she said and her voice sounded slurry. Had she been drinking?
“Yeah, I figured, but I just wanted to check,” I said, and took another gulp of the whiskey.
“Check what?” she asked and a giggle escaped her lips. She had definitely been drinking. I found myself smiling as well. We were both drunk.
“That you were home,” I said.
“You want to come to my home?” she asked and I resisted the urge to agree.
“I would have if you weren’t drunk,” I said.
“Always the knight in shining armor,” she said and then we both fell into silence. I’d never seen or heard Beverley drunk before. In college, we all figured that she was a teetotaler, which suited her otherwise serious image as well.
“What are you drinking?” I asked her, after we’d been silent for a few minutes.
“Some whiskey. I got it as a gift. I don’t usually drink,” she said, sounding groggy again. Every time she felt silent, I wondered if she had fallen asleep.
“What are you drinking?” she asked me and I laughed.
“Whiskey too. I didn’t get it as a gift though, and I drink it quite often,” I replied.
“Figures. You seem like a whiskey kinda man,” she said.
“I didn’t drink any whiskey in college though,” I said and Beverley was laughing.
“Of course not. It was beer-pong and body shots for you then,” she said and I fell silent. I didn’t want to discuss college with her. That was a whole different story that needed to be talked about in a sober state. I was afraid of making any confessions that I wasn’t prepared for. Beverley had started humming a tune, I smiled again. I didn’t know that she was a funny and pleasant drunk.
When we hadn’t spoken for a few moments, I decided to break the silence. As nice as it was to just sit there and listen to her breathe, I didn’t want her to just hang up either.
“I’m sorry, Beverley,” I blurted out and she started laughing.
“Because you made me come?” she asked and I sat up straighter in my couch. Drunk Beverley was much more bold than sober Beverley.
“I’m sorry if you didn’t want to,” I said.
“Who doesn’t want to have an orgasm? Orgasms are great,” she said and I couldn’t help but laugh. I’d never heard her talking this way.
“You’re right, orgasms are great,” I said.
“So why are you apologizing then?” she asked in a quieter voice.
“You were angry after that and stormed out of my house,” I said and sat back in the couch, with the phone wedged between my head and shoulder. I had started to take off my slippers and lie down on.
“Yeah. I got angry. What are you doing now?” she said and I smiled again.
“Lying on my couch. What are you doing?” I said.
“Lying on my bed,” she replied and we were quiet again.
“I’m sorry about the company, Beverley, I really am. I want to help,” I said and immediately realized that it was a wrong thing to say. I was going to spoil the moment.
“Goodnight, Grant. I hope we never have to see each other again,” she snarled and cut the call. The voice I heard in the end was more recognizable, that was the Beverley voice I knew from college and the one she’d used when she fought with me and then left my house earlier.
I remained on the couch, hugging the cushions and cradling the phone against my ear still. This was such a high-school thing to do, but these were also high-school feelings I had for her. I wanted to hol
d her hand, I wanted to make her laugh. The sex was good. I wanted her body too, but I wanted to be the man who could make Beverley happy.
I figured it was just the alcohol talking. She had been drinking as well. In the morning, I’d feel better. So, I closed my eyes and tried to drift away but the only thoughts I had were of Beverley and how interesting she was.
Chapter 13
Beverley
To say that I woke up with a throbbing headache would have been an understatement. When I looked up at the clock, it was already midday and I had been lying on the couch, cradling the empty bottle of whiskey.
Eventually, I dragged myself out of bed and went in for a shower. I was stupid to assume that I didn’t need to get into work. I knew the rest of the team would be there, and I was immediately guilty for being hungover.
I managed to dress myself, into a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt and while fixing the sunglasses on my face, I left the house.
I walked to work as usual, and found the others huddled on a table when I walked in. I could still feel a dull ache at the back of my head, which was beginning to make me sick.
“Bev! You look like you had a rough night,” John said and I didn’t bother to respond to that.
“What are you guys talking about?” I asked, hitching the sunglasses up on my head.
They exchanged looks, till Susan cleared her throat and fixed her eyes on me.
“We heard about your decision. The lawyers got your email,” she said.
“Oh, that!” I said and shrugged my shoulders. “That was a no-brainer. It had to be done,” I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
They were still exchanging nervous looks, till I placed my hands on my hips and stared them down.
“You don’t look like you’ve taken it well, Bev,” Sasha commented and I rolled my eyes. That was a bad idea, because it made my brain hurt and I winced.
“I’m not thrilled about giving my company away, if that’s what you mean,” I said and rubbed a hand over my face. As long as they didn’t find out that I also nearly slept with Grant Jennings, I figured I’d be alright.
Susan stood up from her chair and walked towards me.
“Do you want something to eat?” she asked in a kindly motherly voice.
“I’m fine, Susan. I’m not hungry and I’m not sick. I suppose we should continue on as usual till everything is finalized,” I said a little sharply.
“Will you still be working with us?” John asked and I shook my head.
“Why would I be working here? It isn’t my company anymore,” I told him and they all stared at me, like they were worried for my health.
“From what I could tell, Mr. Jennings…Grant is a reasonable man. In fact, he thinks of you as his friend. I’m sure he would want to keep you on. We want you to stay on, be our boss,” Sasha said and I let out a deep sigh.
“Well, you better get used to not having me around, because things are going to change here very soon,” I snapped and realized that I was taking out my anger with Grant on them, and I checked myself.
“Sorry…I’m sorry guys. I’m getting too emotional. I’m fine, really,” I said as Susan approached me to give me a hug.
“We all know how hard you’ve worked. You started this company from scratch and you gave it your best,” she said and I pulled away from her.
“So did Grant Jennings. Look at what he’s achieved. I’m a failure and the sooner I accept it, the better it is for me,” I said to her and looked at the guys. They all looked worried for my welfare.
“I’m fine! I really am. In fact, I’m actually going to go get something to eat,” I said and pulled the sunglasses back down on my face.
“Where are you going?” Sasha asked.
“Pop’s Bar maybe, I don’t know,” I snapped at him again.
“Are you planning on drinking? It’s only two in the afternoon,” Susan offered and I whipped around to look at her.
“I’m an adult Susan, but thanks for your concern,” I snarled at her and left the office, pulling the door shut behind me.
At the back of my mind, I knew they had every reason to be concerned. They had never seen me in this state. I was hungover, upset and going hunting for more alcohol. They were naturally worried for me. But they didn’t know what I was feeling, what I was going through.
Despite being hungover, I perfectly remembered the previous night. Why had I just decided to show up at Grant’s house? Why hadn’t I been able to resist undressing?
And then the phone call! I remembered the phone call as well and I winced. That was such a disaster. I had said embarrassing things to him about enjoying orgasms and beer-pong. I hoped I would never have to see him again. That this deal could just get over, and I could finally move on with my life.
I’d been happy when I was engrossed with work. I didn’t have time for a social or love life and I was content with that. And now, all I could think about was Grant and how good he had made me feel. All those unrequited feelings I had for him in college came gushing back in an avalanche that was set to bury me. And this time, I knew exactly what I was missing out on.
I walked to the bar around the corner from our office building and walked in. It was dark inside the place, even though there was bright sunshine outside. I pulled out a stool at the bar and sat down, covering my face with my hands.
“What can I get you?” the bartender’s voice cut through my thoughts and I slowly dragged my hands away from my face.
“Just some water, please, thank you,” I said to him and buried my face into my arms on the counter. I wished I could just shut the world out for a few days and wake up as a new person.
Chapter 14
Grant
I hadn’t been able to concentrate all day at the office. My lawyers had already begun the process of absorbing Beverley’s company and other than signing a few papers and an early morning meeting, I had nothing else to do.
I was mad at her, mad at myself for feeling the way I felt. I wished she would just talk to me so we could figure things out. I didn’t want her to think that this was just a seduction. I wanted her to know that I was buying her company to keep her work safe. I had tried to explain it to her the previous evening, even on the phone call, but she wasn’t willing to listen.
“I’m going out,” I said to my assistant as I pulled my jacket over my shoulders and walked out of the building. Paul, my chauffeur held the door of my car open for me but I dismissed him.
“I’ll drive, thanks Paul,” I said and he handed the keys over to me.
In the car, I tried to settle the thoughts I had of Beverley. I had made the wrong decision. We should have just talked. I shouldn’t have kissed her and we shouldn’t have stripped down naked the previous night. We needed to talk and have a logical conversation before taking it to the next step.
What next step? Why was I even thinking there could be a next step? Hadn’t she made it very clear that she despised me? Besides, I wasn’t the kind of person and neither was I at the stage in my life where I could think of next steps in a relationship.
I parked my car outside the office building and took two steps at a time upstairs. I barged in through the door and found a woman sitting behind a desk. She looked up at me, surprised to find a man bursting in through the door.
“Can I help you?” she asked standing up.
Sasha appeared from a room when he heard the door slam.
“Grant!” he exclaimed and I swung my head from the woman to him.
“Is she in?” I asked him and they must have both seen the madness in my crazed eyes. I was desperate to see Beverley again. Before she completely slipped through my fingers.
“Bev?” Sasha asked and I let out a sigh.
“Yes, where is she?” I asked and Sasha exchanged looks with the woman.
“She said she was going to Pop’s Bar. It’s just around the corner, but we can’t be sure if she’s still there,” he said and I clenched my jaw. What was happening to her? Why h
ad she gone to a bar in the middle of the day? I was worried for her well being, but also conscious of what the others might be thinking. They were her employees after all and she must have an image to maintain. I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea.
“Thank you, Sasha,” I said and forced a smile on my face.
“Is everything alright?” he asked and I smoothened the lapels of my suit.
“Yeah, of course. We just needed to discuss some things,” I told him and nodded at the woman who had been glaring at me all this while. She didn’t look too impressed with me. I figured that everyone else, except Sasha apparently; probably hated me for buying the company.
“Hopefully she’s still at the bar,” he said and I smiled at him again.
“Thanks, I’ll find her. So stupid of me to not try her phone,” I said, trying to sound casual and taking my leave, I walked out of the office.
Out on the streets again, I caught sight of the bar at the corner. I clenched my jaw as I walked towards it. I may not have been best friends with Beverley, and I might not have even been in her life for all these years but I was sure that she wasn’t the type of person to be lounging in a bar in the middle of the day. I hoped she was alright.
I walked hurriedly and pushed open the doors of the establishment. It was a dark place, with a handful of people in there already. Techies with their laptops and glasses of cold beer beside them. I scanned the room and found Beverley slumped on the counter. The barman was listlessly polishing glasses in front of her, unbothered. I weaved through the tables towards her, and before I could stop myself I was pulling her up by her shoulders.
“Beverley! Are you okay?” I asked and realized that she had her eyes open. She wriggled against me and finally managed to push me away.
“What do you think you’re doing? Leave me alone!” she hissed and I stepped away from her. I pulled my jacket back down in place and fixed my cufflinks. She was glaring at me and looked me up and down like she was assessing me.