Lara flattened her tongue and ran it across Sonny’s lips. Sonny’s lips parted in a soft sigh. Lara’s tongue accepted the invitation of the parted lips eagerly and entered Sonny’s champagne flavoured mouth.
Sonny’s fingertips moved in a butterfly touch along Lara’s side setting a trail of fire. Lara could barely hold herself from giving in to the exploding passion and devouring Sonny…and having Sonny devour her. It was only the slight skittishness which she sensed in Sonny’s rather self-conscious and rigid posture that held her back…that made her go slow.
Lara slowly explored every part of Sonny’s delicious mouth before she touched the tip of her tongue to Sonny’s. That one touch had her almost undone. Lightening skittered up her back and she pressed herself closer to Sonny and tangled her tongue in the velvet heat of Sonny’s mouth and tongue.
When they finally broke for air, Sonny was semi-reclining and Lara was lying atop her. Both sets of eyes were almost completely only pupils, breaths uneven and chests heaving. Lara’s arms were around Sonny’s shoulders, fingers luxuriating in her hair. Sonny had an arm around Lara’s waist, the other hand at the nape of her neck.
Lara smiled sensuously at Sonny looking at her with a heavy gaze. Sonny simply breathed out a hushed, reverent, “Wow!”
“Sonny,” Lara’s voice was a croak, “Kiss me now,” she said.
Sonny drew Lara down to her and covered her mouth. She kissed Lara’s lips and nibbled them softly. Lara moaned at that contact. Sonny drew in Lara’s lower lip into her mouth biting down gently and then licking it soothingly. Lara’s moan was louder this time and her mouth opened in invitation. Sonny deepened the kiss and Lara pressed her hips harder into Sonny with delicious sounds humming in the back of her throat.
Lara had never been touched like this. Sonny touched her with an emotion too deep for words. She touched Lara like she was something precious. Sonny was touching her with a mixture of want and worship. With desperation and reverence. Taking and tenderness. Lust and love.
Lara was awash with feelings. She’d always been in control of her body. She had never been able to have sex without using a lot of lube. Never. But now her body was moving of its own accord. She felt her panties getting damp and wetness moving outwards moisten her shorts. There was no thought in her mind as she moved against Sonny.
Sonny’s tongue caressed Lara’s with strokes of fire. Lara shuddered, trembled and broke off the kiss with a gasp. She was certain that she had come for the first time in her life with just a kiss as waves after waves flowed in her. Lara buried her face into Sonny’s shoulder struggling to gain control of her overwhelmed senses.
“Did I do something wrong?” Sonny asked with nervous insecurity.
Lara only shook her head, unable to speak, but burrowed her face closer to Sonny. Sonny let her be, simply caressing Lara’s back with her thumbs, taking heart in the fact that Lara was not moving away in disappointment or disgust.
After many long minutes, Lara felt that she could move. She turned her head and kissed Sonny’s neck.
“Hi,” Sonny’s voice was a rumble, a vibration in her body.
Lara lifted her head to look at Sonny. Her eyes were shining with wonderment, eyelashes damp. ‘Hi,” she dipped her lips for a quick peck.
“Are you okay?”
A wordless nod.
“Ummm…” Sonny hesitated. “What happened to you? Why the tears? Was I so bad?” Sonny asked lightly but Lara could see her barely concealed apprehension.
“Sonny,” Lara said, her voice breathy, “You overwhelmed me.” Lara slowly got off Sonny, holding her hand and straightening Sonny into a seating position. She drew Sonny’s arm over her shoulders and tucked herself close, cuddling into Sonny. “I’ve never felt anything like that before,” she looked up at Sonny from under her lashes. “I’ve never felt so much before,” she added softly, intertwining their fingers.
“So I was okay?” Sonny’s uncertainty was adorable to Lara. She kissed the back of Sonny’s hand and smiled at her radiantly.
******
“Shahid Khan,” Lara said. She was sitting at her end of the sofa with her legs stretched out in Sonny’s lap as Sonny caressed, stroked and massaged her feet and calves. Lara wanted to tell Sonny everything that wasn’t written about her yet. “I got involved with him about two years back on set.”
“I read that he is married,” Sonny said.
“Yes, with two kids. Also, he is gay. But that is only mentioned in hushed whispers. In fact, there is this whole huge very powerful group of closeted gay men – actors, producers, financers, scriptwriters, designers – in Bollywood. Amongst them, they control the production and finances of about sixty percent Hindi films. Individually, they are also involved in South Indian films. Now, they are moving further. They plan to get into Hollywood films. And that was my kryptonite,” Lara said sadly.
“For a few years now, I’ve been feeling adrift. I don’t know who I am. The only measure of me seems to be my movies, my awards, my money…the more I tried to find me, the less I found. And I didn’t know any other way to be,” Lara confided, seeming changing the thread of her thought. “Chasing my ambition, my dream is all I’ve known all my life. As I got more and more successful, everyone around me turned into different forms of yes men. Even my family turned into just sycophants. I’m sure my behaviour has also been responsible for that,” Lara said thoughtfully.
“You’re the first person in my life who has interacted with me as a person and not a persona,” Lara leaned forward and ran the backs of her fingers along Sonny’s face with a tender smile. Sonny held her hand and kissed the centre of her palm sending shots of electricity up Lara’s arm. “…and with whom I’ve been just me,” she added softly, kissing Sonny’s cheek.
Sonny’s eyes filled with desire at the sweet, simple kiss immediately igniting an answering lust in Lara. She leaned in further losing herself in a toe-curling kiss. Several minutes passed. “Sonny,” Lara sighed, “I really want to tell you all this stuff and I can’t if you look at me like that,” her eyes were heavy-lidded as she looked at Sonny.
“Okay…but then you have to stay in your corner and not touch me,” Sonny kissed Lara and moved back.
Lara settled back and cleared her throat. “Where was I? Yeah…okay, so here I am totally unanchored, adrift within myself, not knowing who I am and what I want. And I start this new movie with Shahid. Shahid and I have always got along really well, particularly because I know he is attracted to men and he is so cool and open about that with me,” Lara wove her seeming tangent into her narrative with expertise.
“We were on an outdoor in Malaysia in middle of an absolutely beautiful forest shooting a song. We were having dinner in his suite and he was telling me about this whole Hollywood expansion plan that he and his group of producers are in the midst of. The only way I knew to be at that time was to want an in. I was flirting around with Shahid dropping major hints. Then he got a call and I went into the balcony soaking in the astounding beauty. Shahid comes up behind me and puts his arms around me. I didn’t think anything of it till I felt him getting turned on and starting to kiss my neck. I thought that was the in I was looking for.
“Shahid is a bottom, Sonny. I may have given him masculine vibes or he may have had a bi or straight moment, I don’t know what happened to him but we ended up in bed and he thoroughly enjoyed what I did.”
Sonny flinched imperceptibly at the unembroidered starkness of what Lara was saying in a completely flat tone. As imperceptible as Sonny’s flinch was, Lara caught it. “I’m sorry, Sonny,” she said apologetically, “I understand this may be hard for you to hear, but I really need you to know all this. I need you to know what I’ve been.” She bit her lip waiting for Sonny’s response. Sonny nodded jerkily.
“It meant nothing, Sonny. Nothing ever meant anything till you kissed me,” Lara said huskily. Sonny gave her the barest of smiles and looked down at Lara’s feet. “Sonny,” Lara called softly. Sonny looked back at her.
“A little while back you asked me what happened when you kissed me…”
“Yeah,” …softly.
“I came, Sonny,”…a whisper. “For the first time in my life I came…and that was with you just kissing me,” Lara blushed.
“Really?”…a squeak.
Lara blushed deeper and nodded, biting her lip, looking at Sonny’s shell-shocked expression from under her lashes. “Yeah…that’s what you do to me…only you,” she confirmed.
“Lara,” Sonny almost groaned, “Come closer.”
Lara smiled sensuously and slid across the sofa. She climbed into Sonny’s lap and curled up like a cat, resting her head on Sonny’s shoulder. She turned her face upwards with a smirk, “Closer like this?” she asked cheekily.
“Beyond what I had in mind, but I can live with it,” Sonny grinned back wrapping her arms possessively around Lara and kissing her forehead.
Lara straightened a tad, rested her elbow against the back of the sofa and laid her head on her hand so that she was facing Sonny at eye level. She held Sonny’s neck with her other hand and caressed her jaw as she continued. “It was all going per plan…and I don’t know what happened to Shahid or when it happened…but he got way too much into me. A few months back he broke off with Karan Joshi, his long-term partner and was about to start divorce proceedings with his wife. I knew nothing about all this till Karan took off on me in the press calling me a homewrecker amongst many, many other things.” Sonny made a sound of agreement. She had read those rants online.
“He wasn’t talking about Shahid’s wife when he called me a homewrecker,” there was latent amusement in Lara’s eyes, “he was talking about himself – not that the press knew. But Karan is the most powerful of them all and the fulcrum around which that whole group exists. He declared war against me and vowed to finish me. And he achieved it. I was dropped out of movies that were less than thirty percent shot. In movies which were between thirty percent and eighty percent complete, scripts were rewritten to downsize or kill my character. The very few movies that were closer to completion suddenly had finance problems. It’s been almost six months since I have got a script with any substance in India. I’ve got only one project that sounds interesting – and that’s from France. I have even actually worked in this time. I was just finishing patchwork, dubbing and stuff like for a few months before I came here.”
“Wow!” Sonny breathed. “That must’ve been rough on you.”
“It was,” Lara agreed. “But I wonder whether subconsciously I was looking for something like this to shake me out of the lethargy I was in. I told you I’ve been feeling adrift…wanting to figure out who I am…but still, I didn’t know where and how to start looking because all I knew was to race after the next bigger goal,” Lara’s eyes were unfocussed as she voiced a thought that lay deep within her.
Understanding that Lara needed some quiet time to reflect this thought but needed the emotional connection, Sonny shifted her arms so that one lay around Lara’s waist and the other around her shoulders, holding her completely protected.
Lara felt the protectiveness and smiled quietly, a little lost in her thoughts.
******
It had started of gently. Soft kisses of affection and connection. But the kisses grew deeper and deeper. Passion bloomed. Lust expanded.
Lara was soon straddling Sonny’s lap, hands in Sonny’s hair. Sonny ran her hands along Lara’s flanks, fingers sliding across the sides of Lara’s breasts. Lara gasped at the touch. Sonny caressed the sides of Lara’s breasts with her thumbs and Lara whimpered into Sonny’s mouth, raising her face and tilting her head, silently asking Sonny to kiss her neck. Lara’s back arched demanding Sonny’s hands on her boobs.
Sonny gently nipped Lara’s jaw and kissed down her throat before licking it. Her hands caressed Lara’s breasts through her shirt, turning Lara’s tits into diamond hard points of sensation. Lara moaned and rubbed herself against Sonny. “Sonny…” she moaned, wanting to feel skin.
Sonny slipped her hands under Lara’s cold-shoulder crop top, opening her bra and cupping the perfect globes of her breasts in hungry hands. Lara cried out softly at the touch, stilling and resting her forehead against Sonny’s, eye wide open and almost completely black. “Sonny,” she whispered, feeling Sonny run her thumbs on her pebbled tits sending fire down her body to her heavy pussy.
Sonny pinched the hardened nipples softly and Lara groaned, her head falling into Sonny’s shoulder. “Sonny,” …low breathy, “I’m overloaded…please…”
“Do you want me to stop?” …softly.
“Yes…no…I don’t know,”…helplessly.
Sonny slipped one hand out winding it around Lara’s waist. Her other hand continued kneading and caressing Lara’s breast, helping Lara regain a modicum of balance.
“Fuck Sonny! The things you do to me,”…smiling into Sonny’s neck.
“Maybe we should take it slower,”…reluctantly.
“Maybe…considering that I am responding to you like a repressed, untouched virgin,”…a heavy sigh.
A beat of silence. “Actually, I am,” Lara declared.
“You are what?”
“An untouched virgin. I’ve never made love before. I didn’t know that emotions heighten every touch…every breath so much. I never knew someone touching me could be an emotional experience spilling into uncontrollable physical reaction,”…with a smile. “I never knew sex could be so deeply pleasurable,”…a heavy, intense gaze.
Sonny’s breath caught. She kissed Lara. It was a kiss of soft emotions. A kiss of connection.
“I should go,” Sonny said breathing unevenly.
“Stay with me tonight,” …heavy softness in the voice.
“Not tonight, Lara,”…reluctantly.
Lara nodded understanding the need for space if they wanted to take it slow. She climbed off Sonny and held out her hand. Sonny took her hand and let Lara help her up. Lara walked Sonny to the door, arms wound around each other.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” Sonny asked. It was a question with underlying confidence about the answer.
“You can bet on it,”…twinkling.
“When?”…a pleased smile.
“Lunchtime? I have to exercise a few hours in the morning and then make calls to my manager, agent, secretary, PR folks, parents…”
“Okay…lunch?”
“I’ll get lunch for us…and considering your morning happens at noon, is one p.m. okay?”…teasing.
Sonny smiled and agreed, knowing Lara had a strict dietary programme that she needed to adhere to. Lara caressed Sonny’s face as they stood facing each other at the door, both reluctant to end their time together. “Will you join me for yoga in the afternoon, Sonny?”
“You’ll have to teach me,” Sonny was so not an exercise person, but Lara made her want to get fitter. “Promise you won’t mock my lack of flexibility or utter lack of fitness.”
“Never,” Lara smiled and kissed Sonny.
One last kiss till tomorrow.
******
Lara floated into her bedroom. Sonny’s flowers were all around embracing her in unconditional acceptance. She dropped her clothes along the way as she walked to her bed. On her bed lay the box with the lily that Sonny had brought along. Lara opened it and found a card in it – another handwritten note from Sonny:
All colours are contained in white…and white is the colour of untouched purity and innocence.
Lara, you are white to me.
************
Sonny paced in Lara’s lane restlessly. She not been able to sleep the night. Each time she closed her eyes, she felt Lara, heard the breathy voice, seen those magical eyes and tossed around restlessly wanting the real thing. Finally at around seven she’d given up any pretence of trying to sleep and lain around in a glorious haze of all things Lara for a couple of hours. She relived the previous evening innumerable times. She opened pqrst at ten, much to Vic’s surprise when they arrived forty-five minutes later.
>
“Whoa! What’s with these early morning appearances?” Vic demanded watching Sonny busily cleaning the counters and straightening the place.
“In which world is ten a.m. early?” Sonny asked, deliberately snarky.
“Ooh! Someone’s feeling feisty today,” Vic giggled. “What could’ve caused that, hmmm? My Spidey senses say it may have to do with one long-legged shapely package of jaw-dropping gorgeousness.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Being evasive and defensive also. Where’s the real Sonny, you person…you?”…mock horror.
Sonny grinned sheepishly and threw a cleaning cloth at Vic walking away with what little dignity she could muster. “I’m watching you, Changeling,” Vic called out. Sonny shook her head without turning around, grinning widely to herself.
Breathless Page 6