MAKE-BELIEVE MARRIAGE
DILL FERREIRA
Copyright © 2012 by Dill Ferreira
Text review, copydesk and design: Sheila Ribeiro Mendonça.
All rights reserved.
Storage and partial or total distribution of this work are not allowed without the previous consent of the author.
All characters are fictitious.
Any similarity with live or deceased people shall have been sheer coincidence.
Chapter I
- I cannot accept this kind of help! - Amanda spoke to herself.
How would she explain to her little boy and her family she would marry Antônio only to destroy Breno’s hopes of them getting back living together? The 5-year-old child, despite being accustomed to the absence of the father, would never understand such a situation.
What should I do? she asked herself. I must destroy any possibility of getting back to live with Breno. I would not ever live together again with a man who could not be trusted. She wouldn’t stand it not even for her little son. Not after what Amanda had seen.
Excruciating thoughts, but already overcome, came to Amanda’s mind from that day she and her son were at the in-laws’ to visit them. When they arrived they were not home, but as Amanda had seen her husband's car in the back garage she believed he was there. They searched for him at the house downstairs but did not find him. Curious at her husband's disappearance Amanda went upstairs where the rooms were located. Everything was quiet, but he had to be there; Breno would surely not go out leaving his car not even on the corner.
Amanda found the master bedroom of one of the single brothers-in-law. Perhaps Breno was with one of his brothers, which was unusual; she knew of the differences between them. After confirming that her husband was not in any of the rooms, she went to the bedroom where he slept when he was single. When she opened the door Amanda saw her husband in bed having sex with another woman. The surprise was such that she was in shock for a few seconds absorbing that image in front of her. Amanda did not want to believe her eyes; it was painful to see that the man she had devoted herself to and loved was betraying her shamelessly in his parents’ house.
She did not know if what she felt at that moment was pain, anger or regret for the years of dedication. The only thing that she was sure about was that her life would never be the same after that scene. Seeing her Breno standing devoid of any expression on his face made her even angrier at his cynicism. The scoundrel behaved as if nothing was actually happening. What appeared to be natural to him was killing Amanda. Seeing him standing there with unmoved countenance, Amanda left the room without looking back. She took her son who was watching TV downstairs and left.
Along the way she tried to be strong, but a sharp pain took hold of her. She had never in her life been so angry at someone and she was mad at her husband and herself for being so foolish to believe in Breno’s love. From the blatant way in which he looked at her, it was obvious that the man had always been that way. She couldn’t notice any bit of guilt in his eyes and this made her even more overwhelmed. What kind of human being destroys the whole dream of a family and not feels guilty?
What had she done to deserve to be experiencing that? Distressed, Amanda tried to focus more on the road. She did not want another tragedy happening in her family. At home she led her son to watch his favorite cartoon on TV and went to her room trying to digest what had happened.
- There had been so many times when I went looking for him. - She said bitterly, remembering the humiliation felt by her husband’s rejections.
Several times Amanda felt to be his inferior, as Breno hardly ever showed interested in her, unless this could bring him some benefit, beyond the physical satisfaction. The pain she felt when she knew that she was being cheated was killing her.
- Not today, my love, I had a full day and I am very tired. - He used to say affectionately to convince her. - I want to sleep a little longer. - The understanding wife did not disturb him any more truly believing that his fatigue was caused by his work.
But now Amanda knew the reason for such indifference on Breno’s part. He preferred to have fun away from home with his mistresses while Amanda waited for him like a good girl and was always willing to be there for him when he needed her. Business meetings were another way the rascal found to have his leisure time with other women.
- My dear, today I will have a long meeting and have no idea when I’ll get home. Do not expect me for dinner; we'll all go to a restaurant and we’ll take the time to start off the meeting there – he had said for several times during the years of marriage.
What would become of her son and her? Amanda did not want to think about that right now. If she left, fear would prevent her from taking the best direction in her life; she would leave Breno and that adulterer would never touch her again. That was her only certainty from then on. She felt as if she were dying, as the loving and devoted wife he never appreciated and cared for as he should. Looking at the photograph frame on the nightstand, Amanda felt sadness pouring over her. Her family would become smaller from that day on and nothing would be like it was before. Not even her.
Now, some time later, he returns insisting on getting back together. How could she accept such a proposal after all that happened because of his madness? No, she would not accept it, but how to solve this once and for all!? How to get rid of her ex-husband without taking him away from his son; although he paid him so little attention, he was a fruit of his. “There was the father and son bond that could not be ignored," she thought.
- I cannot accept the marriage proposal from a friend just to get rid of Breno. -Amanda told Antônio, the friend who had always been there for her and was very at peace with problems, but now he did not seem to act with the same rationality as ever, having made such a crazy proposal.
- It will not be a real marriage Amanda. - He said grasping his friend’s hands and trying to comfort her. - We will only be together for appearance’s sake, nothing more than that. So you can get rid of him. - It seemed so easy listening to him talk with such seemingly calm.
- Antônio, we are not in a movie or a book novel, my dear. This possibility is totally insane. I would never allow myself to such a pretend, mainly because of a negligible being such as Breno. We cannot ruin our lives for him. - She was irreducible.
- Why do you think it would harm our lives? - He wanted to know disguising his sorrow.
- It would not be fair to you Antônio! - She exclaimed considering the possibility out of the question. - Imagine if the woman of your life suddenly comes up and you are in a make-believe marriage. Your big opportunity will go down the drain and I would never forgive myself for that. - She said in a mixture of sorrow and concern for the good friend. But he was determined to help Amanda.
- Why this silly refusal? - he wondered approaching her and causing her a nice feeling of protection, affection and respect that he had always passed on to her as a friend.
- You deserve a person next to you to give you love, not a pretend - she completed.
- Let me decide what's fair or not for me, okay? - Antônio said looking into her eyes. - I do not want to see you unhappy as you were when we met. It cost me a lot to see a smile on that sad face of yours. - Amanda looked into Antônio’s eyes with concern. Unable to sustain her look, he averted his eyes from hers.
That reaction had further enhanced the certainty in Amanda that she should not accept that crazy proposal. Antônio did not want that. He was just trying to help without thinking of the consequences it would have on his life. Some time later she still remembered her friend's words with some regret, but also joy just to know she could always rely on him.
Back to reality she could not imagine another solution
to get rid of the father of her child forever. Breno was sticky and called her every day, always kind, which did not happen a lot when they were married. Amanda remembered how domineering, bossy and possessive he was. How come she had never realized, when they were married, what she saw now? Amanda knew the answer to that; she had put him on a pedestal where his faults did not show. She had been blinded by love or naivety and her ex-husband had taken advantage of it.
For him, Amanda was just a housewife, the always present wife when he thought she was necessary, just that. She knew, after separation, that a relationship like theirs could not grow. They were two separate beings, not two for one, for him only and nothing else. Now after discovering the many affairs he had while married, she had no more doubts about it.
However, from all that gloomy experience, her greatest treasury, her son, had been born. For her son, she would not be willing to live all that house of lies again. Her little one did not deserve to live in a home surrounded by lies and hurt. She would never allow that. Amanda looked at the photograph of her son absentmindedly on her night bed table when a familiar voice took her out of her thoughts.
– Good morning! – In anguish, she raised her head with a slight grin on her lips.
– Hi Breno – she answered coldly. – What brings you here? – asked Amanda undoing the smile she had when she was remembering her son.
– Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow? – He invited her, all smiles.
- What is the reason for this insistence Breno? I have made it clear in the two weeks I intend not to give in to your charm. Our story is over and you have to accept that. - She also said this politely.
- You're being too cruel to me Amanda, we are all susceptible to mistakes and what I ask is a chance to prove that I've changed. I want to do different.
- But as far as I know you were not wrong just that one time. You had many women my dear. This already removes the chance of you saying you were weak once and repented. One does not regret after being wrong so many times. This is the greatest proof that you have never really felt that disturbing feeling.
- Not everyone can perceive an error the first time he makes one. - He answered and Amanda watched the man before her. Breno knew how to cheat very well, too bad she had been properly vaccinated against his tricks.
- I'm sorry Breno – she responded. - I have an appointment. - Although she doubted that information would push him away from the insistence that he had been demonstrating, she still used this pretext.
- Call it off. - He said with the same smile on his face.
- Unfortunately I can’t do that. - Amanda was starting to get annoyed by the man’s arrogance.
- I just want to talk to you Amanda. Is it too much to ask from the mother of my child? - He said gesturing as if he were performing a tragedy on stage.
- Wait for Lucas to be back and we will talk together. He is the most interested party here and has the right to be present. - She said.
- Are you trying to get away from me? - He asked approaching her and exhaling smell of expensive cologne. - You are afraid to give in and find that you still want me! - Amanda watched him with his authoritative tone as if he had full assurance of what he claimed.
- Why would I do that? - Amanda asked staring at his face. Breno was older, but he still had his charm.
The marks of sleepless nights were evident on his face. Probably he had had a lot of party time, clubbing and women during the time he was away, giving no news of his whereabouts. Although she was irritated to note this fact, Amanda also knew that it was not jealousy; she had not had this feeling for him for a long time now. Her annoyance was due to the fact that he had forgotten his responsibilities as a father.
- I don’t know for sure why you would do that but we must overcome these grievances, we have a son and this is not good for him. He replied.
“Was that Breno talking about what was good for his child?" She thought. If he were not uttering those words himself, maybe she would have believed them.
- For our son to be well we need not dine together - she criticized. Since returning Breno invited her for dinner and always used their son when he realized that she would refuse. - Furthermore, Lucas has already gotten used to the separation, which did not happen yesterday, as you make it sound, but a long time ago. - Amanda was outraged by the fact that he only worried about the child’s well-being now that he had returned and found himself alone, with no one waiting for him.
- You are very bitter Amanda. You should put yourself in people’s place. - She was so amazed at that comment that she grimaced. All right! - He kept putting his hands inside his pants pocket. - I will not insist, for now. You need to take your time. - He concluded making Amanda ignore his every word because he doubted it could be so easy. - Let's keep in touch and I want you to know that my only wish is to have my family back as it was like in the old times.
- That will never happen again Breno. One does not rebuild a broken crystal, no matter how hard we wish. - She knew it well.
- See you, dearest. - He said taking her hand and giving it a light kiss before leaving.
Amanda looked at her fallen hand wondering how some people were able to change their conduct and words in favor of their own goal. Breno seemed a new person, although he continued with the same old arrogance and that she had only noticed after separation.
- Are you okay Amanda? - asked her assistant who was in the next room.
- I’m okay Carol, thank you! - Coming closer, she continued. - I do not know what else to do to get rid of Breno’s assaults; this is already getting pretty tiring – she explained with thwarted countenance leaving Carol worried.
- Accept Antônio - said Carol who was Amanda’s great confident and knew all the problems she had undergone with her ex-husband.
They knew each other since elementary school years and had always been close, even when Amanda was married. Seeing Amanda defeated worried her. This could be the final blow with which the former husband of her friend hoped to win the battle.
- I cannot accept. - Amanda said thinking about how embarrassing it would be for Antônio and her. - It would not be fair to him, or rather to none of us - she said ruefully.
- He is the one who offered to help you out. That means something - suggested the girl firmly.
- It was a thoughtless moment. He did not think before making the offer - said Amanda making Carol realize that her employer-friend was adamant and so did not see the obvious.
- You have no choice, do you? - Asked the girl trying at all cost to open her friend's eyes.
- Not yet, but I'll think of something. - Amanda would look for other less complicated means. She did not have anything in mind yet, but would rather believe that another solution would come up that did not compromise her friendship with Antônio.
- What if you do not find anything that might help you? Will you take the chance of being caught by your ex again or losing custody of your son? - Amanda reflected on what the friend said, and got anxious at the thought that he might want custody of the child. Breno would not dare do so after leaving the boy unattended after separation, would he?
- There is no possibility for you and Breno to be back together, as you said. - The girl looked at Amanda with a huge smile. - As for him wanting custody of Lucas, I do not think this would go all the way; Breno could not live with a child permanently depending on him. - She preferred to think that her ex-husband was still averse to small children.
- It's a risk you'll have to take if you do not have it sorted out soon.
- There are risks that are not worth the trouble they bring. I am a cautious woman and prefer to stay that way. - The conversation seemed to be leading to squabbling and Amanda was not about to argue with her insistent and dear assistant.
- In life everything has a risk and we must not sit back and stop living something that can be good. - Observing her assistant talk Amanda realized she would not leave her alone if she kept refusing the possibility of accepting
Antônio’s help.
All right! I'll think about it. - As she said it, she noticed a slight smile of satisfaction on her friend's face.
- Wise woman! - Carol said when Amanda was leaving.
At home, Amanda thought about it more clearly. It was indeed a drastic step, but if they were certain it would be for a short time, it could not bring a lot of damage to any one of them as she thought. They were adults and knew how far they could go, or not? Fear surrounded her, crumbling all the little confidence she felt. Antônio's offer was absurd and Amanda still found it hard to believe it had been his. “Her right arm, and perhaps her left too, needed a girlfriend”, she thought smiling.
Since they met, Amanda had never seen Antônio with anyone. He said he was too busy, but Amanda thought that one of the reasons was the fact that both were very close and this chased women away. But regardless of whether he was willing or not to have a relationship with someone, Amanda had no desire to disrupt his life. It would be unfair to think only of herself. Upset about not being able to decide which direction to take, Amanda went to the bathroom trying to cool her body and head. When she was returning to the room the phone rang.
- Hello? Are you home? – asked Antônio.
- Yes, I am home! - She replied relieved to hear that comforting voice.
- I called the store, Carol told me that you had gone home. I decided to get in touch to find out how you are. - He explained. “He was something else," she thought happily.
- Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine – she thanked.
- Do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow? - Antônio asked casually.
Of course! - She said it and turned out both were surprised at her prompt response; Amanda realized her mistake, felt like justifying it. - It is just that Breno asked me again for dinner and I said I had an appointment, you saved me from him. - Amanda heard him smiling and was less tense by his thoughtless act which could have made him believe she wanted to throw herself into his arms.
Make-Believe Marriage Page 1