Make-Believe Marriage

by Ferreira, Dill

  - Was it not you who said we needed not to perform our relationship so well! - He spoke when she leaned her body against his.

  - It was for you not to perform so well, but I can! - Amanda was agitated and her reasoning seemed slower than it should. “Damn wine!" she thought trying to filter in her mind what she should or should not say to Antônio. She had had some glasses of drinks and felt lighter than ever.

  - Then you can do whatever you want with me and I cannot do like you? - He asked in jest, but with a malicious voice.

  - Yeah, maybe! - they looked at each other for a few seconds and Amanda leaned her head already heavy on his shoulder and followed the rhythm of the music. Every centimeter of her body was noticed by Antônio and the situation was driving him out of his mind, sending him several warning messages during that dance that looked more like mating. Having that beautiful woman in his arms was something very challenging to him that had been always in control and rational.

  The first song ended up allowing Antônio to breathe more easily. It wasn't easy to spend about three minutes with Amanda in his arms without moving a finger to caress her warm and feminine body. When they were about to leave the dance floor, a beautiful love song began and all remained where they were and the two of them felt trapped with each other, watching the couples kiss and dance closer and more passionate.

  - What will we do? - We don’t belong here. - He said unsure.

  - I think the acting needs to be good tonight. You chose the most romantic party in the world to go today - Amanda said with a fake smile.

  - We can go now if you want. - It was all he wanted or would not be responsible for his future actions.

  - As my assistant says, let's enjoy the evening. - That was not the answer he needed, but if she wanted to go on, so let be it.

  Once more Amanda wrapped her arms around him and that contact eliminated all of Antônio’s strengths who held her as tight as a treasure that he did not ever want to lose. Amanda slowly raised her face and she could see anguish in his eyes. She wanted to touch her friend's face as he had done so many times relieving her of her problems. Antônio certainly was not happy about the situation, but there was no turning back and they had to go all the way. They would have to withstand doubts and uncertainties. All he needed was to lower his eyes for Amanda to get lost in them. Raising her lips, Amanda covered his mouth with hers. It was a double surprise, but neither managed to prevent that contact. Antônio received a mouth eager for pleasure and raveled him with that reaction. He knew Amanda was under the reaction of the wine, but he would not be a scoundrel to seize the opportunity of a kiss. He needed that balm as well as air.

  Their tongues seemed to be in the rhythm of the music, slow, sweet and united as in a dance. Amanda touched his face tenderly as she tried to savor him more. The reaction she felt at that moment was strange and delightful; it seemed that she had never been kissed and that at any moment they would go to another greater level of intimacy. Their bodies craved so for that that she could feel and even if she didn’t, she could not deny it. Amanda moaned softly, to be caressed on the nape and then immediately feel the warmth of manly hands on her back. Her body was no longer hers. She needed to put an end to her needs and Antônio was the perfect man for that. Entwining him around the neck Amanda leaned her breasts on him and made a small pressure that almost left him breathless.

  - Are you all right? - He asked moving away a bit and touching her chin.

  - I guess so. - She said turning her face to the side trying to hide her desire. Antônio gently kissed her on the cheek. Then he lovingly observed her and felt it was time to stop.

  - Let's call it a night, we need to go. - grabbing her hand they left the dance floor.

  Returning home worked like a bucket of cold water. Amanda leaned back on her seat and said nothing, she had not considered the consequences of an evening under alcohol. However, the amount of alcohol she had drunk was not enough to have left her so uninhibited, as she had been. It would be best left as it was, there was something bigger and more important than them at that moment. On arrival Antônio mustered up all his self-control to take Amanda to her apartment. Going back home had been empty, with no conversation between them, but that would be the best option so that the end of the evening did not lead the two of them on a bed quenching their bodies in need for love.

  - Thanks for the lovely evening we had - thanked Amanda when they reached the door of her apartment and she looked for her keys, baffled.

  - Glad you had fun – said Antônio in a low voice. Both went in still sort of embarrassed. Although the evening had been cheerful and promising, they seemed afraid of their actions. Each one of them knew of their blame in that situation, but both did not know how to solve it

  – This evening was quite convincing! – sad Amanda putting her pocket book on the couch.

  – You are right. It was really revealing for our acquaintances. – He completed, standing near the door.

  – Do you suppose we are doing the right thing Antônio? – Amanda asked him. Something started to bother her.

  – I don’t know Amanda, but I hope so. – He replied. They looked at each other in a different way than Amanda remembered. That could be the end of a great friendship and Amanda was not willing to lose a friend that was so important to her.

  – If I said that I’d like to cancel out on our deal, would you agree? – Amanda flinched. But she needed to go on with that pretend on account of her son. Somehow, however, she felt that might not work out as they had imagined.

  – Unless you are determined to stop everything, I do not agree! –He explained trying to show more confidence than her.

  – All right. If you still believe in the possibility of a good outcome, I’ll be there with you. – She could not do that alone and since she did not have his support, she would go on, but more cautiously.

  – I’ll get going. Good night! – Antônio went up to her and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

  – Good night, Antônio! – they held hands and Antônio left.

  After leaving Amanda at her apartment, Antônio kept wandering through the city before going to his own house. At first, he believed that he could control himself and act only as the friend he had always been to Amanda. She needed him. However, now he did not know what to do with that old feeling that insisted on emerging at any moment. His self-control was coming to an end and he would need it until everything was over, or until Amanda realized the huge chemistry between them, but that she insisted on ignoring, maybe now out of sheer fear. He knew that from then on, his battle would even harder because they would be nearing their wedding day and had no idea how it would be after that date, sharing the same space with her. Time was closing in, it was time to go back to reality and go home. Antônio started the car and left.

  On Monday morning, Amanda was checking some of her notes when Antônio called to check on her.

  – My day started out very busy today, but everything is in order now. How are you? She wanted to know.

  – I do not have much to do, so I thought of inviting Lucas to know the new house - said Antônio.

  – I’ll be too busy this morning, but think that I will be finished in the afternoon. – Amanda really wanted to see her son’s reaction to the new house. She hoped that he would behave as he did when he knew about their wedding. His reaction was pure joy, which Amanda already expected, because her son and Antônio got along very well. Now she would take him to his new home.

  – I’ll stop by your store, pick up Lucas at school and we’ll go to the new house. – Antônio said happily with the confirmation of the visit. He had been waiting for that moment for days.

  – Lucas returns to classes today and soon afterwards we’ll take him to see his new house. I hope he likes his new home. – said Amanda to her friend hanging up the phone.

  Her son had returned from the trip the day before, full of news from the farm and she took the opportunity to spend her free time with him. Antônio was of
f to settle a family matter and could not meet them. Amanda recalled the occasion when she separated from the father of her child and how hard it had been for him to lose the male presence so quickly. If Breno had left soon after they separated, certainly the child would have suffered less, but Breno was behind adventures regardless of the feelings of the child, certain that when he returned Amanda would have changed her mind and would take him back, as if nothing had happened. It would not be so, she promised herself, when she learned of his trip without saying goodbye to the boy who had been in tears without understanding why he had disappeared. Breno was not a present father, but he liked to bring Lucas toys; he only knew how to please with gifts, this was his winning tactics. As the child did not understand, he believed to be much loved by the father who made him very sad with his absence. To the delight of Amanda and the boy shortly afterwards Antonio had came into their lives. A highly-valued friend that had helped her go through the difficulties that many women experience when they separate and do not have a profession that can support them. As if it was not enough he also became the precious father image that her son needed in his early life. Antônio was affectionate and knew how to cheer things up for little Lucas like no one knew and got attached to the man as he had never been to his own father. It was all that Amanda needed for strength and to move forward with her plans and dreams.

  - Do not worry, he likes Antônio so much that he will certainly love the house - said her assistant taking her out of her own thoughts.

  – I’m happy to see how well they get along, but I’m afraid that Breno feels threatened with his son’s relationship and tries to manipulate him against Antônio. – She knew that this could, in fact, happen because Breno did not like to share attention with anybody.

  – He’s a smart kid and will know how to separate things – said Carol to calm her down. – Actually, you have not told me anything else about you guys. - complained the girl who was always informed of the events. – Didn’t you have any more of those hot moments? – she asked maliciously.

  – We are trying to keep the main focus. Only that matters now. - Carol looked at Amanda looking lost to hear that. We went to a party this weekend and I think I had too much wine and was, say, rather sexually aggressive and a kiss happened that could easily be extended to something more, but since he is very wise he had us leave and when we arrived at my apartment he did not want to come in - said Amanda recalling what had happened. - But he ended up coming in not to make me uneasy. But I could see in his eyes that he wanted to leave right away. - The friend wanted to make a comment, but said nothing to learn more. - Deep inside, he tensed up. I tried to find out what was actually going on, but he said nothing. I think he regretted having entered this game. - Amanda said thoughtfully. - I asked if he wanted to give up and that if he did, I would not blame him. That problem is not his. - The young girl said nothing just listened to her friend’s story. - I also said that I would not blame him for any responsibility, but he refused to give up. I could feel that he was not well with everything just as I am not. Later when he took my hand to say goodbye, he looked at me so differently that I froze imagining that he would at any time tell me that he no longer wanted to continue with this charade, but he said nothing, just took my hands to his mouth kissing them and left. - ended Amanda, upset for putting Antônio in that situation.

  - If I had such a man kissing my hands, I would have given him more to kiss. Throw yourself into this relationship and see how it goes. - "Why did she hire such a crazy confidant," Amanda thought. - You do not want to see the truth Amanda and that's too bad - Carol concluded ruefully.

  - I would like to have a little bit of your madness running through my veins - Amanda confided. - You do not know how hard it is to experience a situation like this, and in addition know that Breno decided to stop me on the streets to make threats? - She finished speaking making Carol look at her with a critical eye.

  - I did not! Did you tell me about it? - complained the girl.

  - I guess not. I did not want to bother you with more problems. - Amanda looked at her friend who criticized her severely with the eyes. - You have given me a lot of crazy advice, so I preferred not to talk about it. - Amanda wanted to justify.

  - My God! Since when having fun and loving someone is crazy? I know he is the right man for you, besides you get along better than many couples I know. - The girl really said excited.

  - He's the right man for any woman; however, we are just friends. Please, understand! - Amanda pleaded knowing that if she kept hearing that kind of talk, she would be convinced and she could not afford it. The two had been friends for so long that she could not risk that valuable achievement.

  - I hope you do not find out too late that this is the man you have been looking for. - Carol's argument stirred Amanda.

  - If he finds a good woman I'll be very happy, he deserves it - she said.

  - If you find you're in love I bet you won’t be happy to see him with another woman - Carol replied.

  - I said there is no such possibility Carol. My friendship with him goes beyond carnal desire, it is much more than that. - Amanda tried to explain.

  - Listen well, Amanda, being with him this friendship has a chance to remain beautiful, but think about it! If he finds another woman, do you believe it will be the same thing between you, never! No woman will let this friendship continue as it is. In the first meeting between the three of you, she will notice how he looks at you and will do everything she can to drive you apart. I'd do it without a blink, no matter how little. - Carol said.

  - You are creating illusions. He does not look at me differently; it is you who are seeing malice in people without them acting that way - censored Amanda. The girl did not have time to protest; a customer came into the store ending the conversation.

  Amanda and Antônio were waiting at the school gate when a skinny kid came toward them.

  - Hi Tony! - said the child getting into the car after kissing his mother's face.

  - How are you big boy? You seem to have grown taller. If you go on that way, soon you won’t fit in the car. - The boy smiled happily bringing enormous peace to Amanda’s heart that was increasingly convinced of the importance of Antônio in his life.

  Along the way several times she could see the curiosity of her child grow. In the new house he would have more room and comfort for her child’s playful life. Although she knew that Lucas would have a best childhood if he lived in a house, for security reasons, she had always chosen to live in apartments, especially after the separation and this caused some limitations to the little guy that was certainly eager to find a new location where he could develop.

  - We are here! - said Amanda turning to see the child's reaction.

  - It is so big mom! - He spoke getting out of the car onto the sidewalk. - It has a huge garden. I’ll get to play there with my friends.

  - It was exactly what I thought by leaving this large recreational area. - The comment pleased mother and child. It pleased the boy because he knew he could use the area for his amusement and the mother for Antônio’s desire to please her son.

  - Thank you for thinking of my son. - She thanked when they were going in.

  - My pleasure, dear - said Antônio hugging her. - Amanda did not mind because her son needed to see some demonstrations of affection between the two that would do great to his development.

  They showed him all the rooms, leaving the boy's room for last. They knew that the child was not giving a damn what he saw. His attention was focused on something that would come. They reached the front door that Lucas so expected and he opened it visibly curious. The boy came in and watched the details, marveling at what he saw.

  - Wow! So many cool toys - he exclaimed. - Look Mom those dolls that I wanted and you did not buy because they were too expensive to take the whole collection, now I have them all. The boy saw the other toys lined up on shelves, the new computer and the beautiful quilt with children's drawings matching the curtain. In the bathroo
m he continued his pilgrimage through the decorated environment.

  - My room is all beautiful. I want to live here today. Can we mother? asked the euphoric child.

  - Calm down my son! - Amanda hugged him. - Soon we will come. Right? - She said letting him go to make room for him.

  - Come with me Lucas - called Antônio who was watching the scene, with a feeling of achievement. The boy took his hand and they went outside the house, to the side of the house.

  - A swimming pool for me. - The child was beaming. - There's another big one, too. It is for you and Antônio and Mom. – He said.

  - You needed not bother Antônio. We could go to a club as we always have. - She said gratefully. On a previous visit Antônio had not taken her to the outside part leaving the surprise for both.

  - Now you will have two options. - He said. Amanda could not question his goodness and smiled gratefully.

  After the long tour through the house they decided to leave. They were in the car coming back when the child, for a brief time, paused his long dialogue with Antônio about the house, and Antônio decided to give Amanda some news.

  - Amanda. I’ll have to go on another trip to Goiânia for an event and will visit a client that will take me all week. I must return on Saturday or Sunday. If you need to talk to me I'll be here at this hotel and on the mobile phone. - he finished handing her a card.

  - All right! - Amanda answered.

  - When I come back, we'll talk more about the wedding process. - His dedication that all would go well was immense at Amanda's eyes. Something that pleased her but also worried her.

  - All right. She agreed.