“Exercise keeps my mind clear,” I responded. I hadn’t meant to say that. Normally I just told people that I liked to be active, move. Saying that I needed to keep my mind clear opened me up to speculation about my mental state. And that was the last thing I wanted to deal with.
“And you need help keeping it clear?” She cocked her head to the side and I knew I’d screwed up. Worry clouded her beautiful eyes and I hated that it was there for me. She’d been the only person to not handle me with kid gloves.
“Sometimes.” I shrugged. “We all need a break from time to time.”
The music ended but I was reluctant to let her go. She stared up at me with a soft smile and again I had that urge to crush her against me so I could soak up everything sweet and innocent in her expression.
“Thank you for dancing with me.” I had to pry my hands off of her tiny waist.
Her musical laugh filled the room.
“What’s so funny?” I walked with her away from the dance floor.
She chewed on her bottom lip before answering. “I guess I never would have thought you’d ever be dancing with me except out of duty.”
I stopped walking, surprised by her statement. “You really do think I hated you.”
“I don’t think you hated me.” She looked up at me and I could see the uncertainty swirling in her eyes. “I think I was a frustrating obligation.”
I wanted to tell her that wasn’t true, that I had wanted to dance with her. But the truth was that I’d been young and blind.
“I was stupid but I never hated you.”
Her laugh surprised me. I’d sort of expected her to tell me that it was okay.
“I’m sorry.” She rubbed fingers under her eyes. “But you’re the second person to tell me that today.”
“What?” I couldn’t keep the confusion from my face.
“That you’re stupid.”
Apparently my expression was quite comical because she burst into another bout of laughter and tears squeezed from the corners of her eyes. She lifted a finger and poked my shoulder before laughing so hard she snorted.
With wide eyes she covered her mouth with her hand and chortled some more. Despite my confusion, witnessing her glee was like being bathed in sunlight. She could call me stupid and I was still bewitched by her. Snort and all.
She really was a fairy queen.
I wanted to kiss her so badly I wasn’t sure I could control myself. Lacing my fingers with her hand I pulled her through the remaining stragglers toward one of the large staircases to the second floor.
She followed along, still giggling, and picked up her skirts like Cinderella. “Where are we going?”
“I’m not sure.” I looked down the hallway toward the residential quarters and turned in the opposite direction.
I pulled her around a corner and waited, listening to hear if anyone was nearby but nothing could be heard but the distant voices of the people downstairs. The room was lit by soft table lamps, casting sharp shadows along the yellow walls of the East Wing sitting room.
“I think we’re a little old to play hide-and-seek,” Maddie whispered as she touched my chest.
“That depends on who we’re hiding from,” I replied. There was more than a hint of hunger in my voice. I backed her into the wall and cupped her face in my hands.
“Oh?” Her eyes widened and seemed to almost glow in the shadowy corner I’d found to tuck us away.
“Oh.”
I dipped my head down so I could capture her mouth and almost groaned in relief at the taste. Soft hands slid up my chest and under my jacket, tracing the hard lines. Her eager lips tore at my resolve and I let go of her face so I could pull her body against me.
Her soft sigh as she fit alongside me sent a surge of adrenaline through my body. With each touch, each caress, the rational part of my brain shrank.
I ran my hands up her sides until my thumbs were brushing the undersides of her pert breasts. She gasped and it took a lot of willpower to keep from moving my hands higher. I wasn’t going to fuck Maddie against a wall in the White House. I mean, I really wanted to fuck her. Just not here, not like this, and not right now. I fought to rein in my hormones and slow our kiss. Now wasn’t the time for more. I needed to sort out just what it was I felt for Madeline McGuire.
Her eyes were dark with passion as she leaned back against the -wall and looked up at me. She licked her kiss-swollen lips before giving me a shy smile. Even now after being almost ravaged, color high in her cheeks, she still looked like something that belonged in a fairy tale.
What was I doing with this woman? Heartbreak was the only possible outcome and I figured I already had enough broken parts. And I certainly didn’t want to cause Maddie any pain. I didn’t deserve to be with someone like Maddie after the rest of my team had died because I hadn’t been good enough. I should end this now. I should push her away and keep her from pushing my boundaries. I should leave her alone so she could find someone deserving.
But I didn’t want to—which was the whole problem.
“Maddie?” My voice was much deeper than normal and I cleared my throat.
“Yes?”
My mouth froze. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say. Run away from me? Beg her to take me? Convince her to let me fuck her until she couldn’t see straight?
“Jake?” Worry creased her brow and I didn’t keep myself from reaching out to smooth the little wrinkles away this time.
“We should do something tomorrow.” I already had my fair share of problems, but apparently I was going to add lady trouble to the list. What was I doing asking her out on a date?
“What did you have in mind?” She cocked her head to the side.
“Uh . . .” Smooth, Jake. You asked her out with no plan.
“You know, in all the years I’ve lived here, I’ve never been to the Smithsonian. I’d almost given up on seeing the dinosaur skeletons.” Bless her, she threw me a lifeline.
“How do you feel about food trucks?” I ran a finger down her arm before twining my fingers with hers. “I have a friend that started his own business.”
“Another Marine friend?” She left her hand twined with mine but used her free one to straighten my bow tie.
“Navy.” I smiled. “If I’m not mistaken he has a spot near the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History.”
Since Afghanistan I’d avoided crowded places as much as possible because they made me antsy, but I’d do it for Maddie. God help me, I’d do anything for the woman.
“Perfect,” she said. “Science and food trucks. Sounds like my idea of the perfect day.”
“What time can I pick you up?” I sounded like a fucking schoolboy. Eager and pathetic. Maddie messed with my equilibrium. I was completely off balance when it came to her.
“Why don’t I meet you at your place?” She looked up at me with guarded eyes.
The thought of having Maddie in my town house, alone, without anyone to interrupt us gave me pause. I didn’t think that had been what she was suggesting but my brain was more than happy to explore the possibility.
“Or I could just meet you at the museum.” She chewed on her lip, uncertainty floating through her eyes. “I could always get someone else to go with me if that’s not your thing.”
I was busy fantasizing about getting in her pants and she thought I was trying to get out of the date.
“You already said yes. You can’t back out now.” I couldn’t help but smile. “You’re stuck going on a date with me.”
“A date with Jake Simmon,” she mused. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“And I’ve got a date with the President’s daughter. I’m the one that should be nervous.” I laughed. “Come to my place a little before lunch and we’ll get some Brazilian pasteis and brigadeiro before we go look at the dinosaur skeletons.”
“And the Hope Diamond.” Eagerness lit her eyes.
“Isn’t that thing cursed?”
“Phfft. Curse, schmur
se. That thing has been present for so many of the big events in history. Can you imagine what all it’s seen?”
“You’re such a nerd,” I teased. “Who knew that Ms. Rebel had a dorky side?”
“Just wait. I’m going to bore you out of your mind tomorrow with inane facts.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
“I look forward to it.”
Chapter 11
Maddie
Clothes were not my forte. Makeup and hair were not my strong suit. I was so far out of my comfort zone I’d almost wished I could ask my stepmother but that would have led to too many questions. I looked down at the slim jeans and heels I’d decided to wear and shook my head at myself.
Me in heels. Voluntarily. Who would have thought it?
At least I had been able to pair them with a comfortable sweater and blazer that I had borrowed from Phoebe months ago and never returned. I’d topped the whole thing with some of the jewelry I’d accumulated over the years—things that had been given to me.
“You look like you’re going to hurl,” Tony said.
“Thanks, you look nice too.” I glared at my guard.
“You always look nice, Maddie. I don’t think that’s what got you all wound up.” Tony shrugged. “You’re all jittery and you’re sweating.”
I wiped my upper lip and grimaced. Reaching up, I turned one of the air conditioner vents in my direction. Digging in one of my pockets I pulled out a hair-tie and dragged my hair into a ponytail. I didn’t want my hair to be stuck to my sweaty face for our date.
I took a deep breath and leaned back in my seat. This was a bad idea. Going on a date with Jake Simmon opened me up, exposed me in ways that scared me. But it was also exciting and made me feel special.
“You’ve got a stupid grin on your face now.”
I stuck my tongue out at Tony. “So?”
“I’m just noting your mood swings.” He chuckled. “You aren’t normally so high-strung.”
“When are you going to get a different job?”
“Who knows? Maybe I’ll just stick with you and Jake and then be a bodyguard for your little baby Presidents.”
I sucked in air so fast that I started coughing.
“Breathe, Maddie. I’m just joking.” Tony reached over and slapped me on the back. “Actually, once your father steps down I’ve promised Dahlia that I’d go to the West Coast with her.”
“The West Coast?”
“She has family out there and she wants to be near them when we have kids.” He shrugged. “Her family has a lot of connections out there and I won’t have any trouble getting a job.”
“Tony!” I practically jumped in my seat. “Dahlia’s pregnant!”
“What?” His eyes widened and then he shook his head vehemently. “No, no, not yet.”
“Why not? Having trouble downstairs?” I darted a quick look at his crotch intent on making him uncomfortable.
“Jesus, Maddie.” For the first time I saw him blush. “No, that’s not a problem.”
“Then what’s the holdup?” I frowned.
“I wanted to wait.” He shrugged. “Just in case.”
My stomach dropped and I looked out the car window. He meant in case he was killed protecting me. Here I was worried about a date and Tony had put his entire life on hold so he could protect my family.
We pulled up to an old brick row house with green ivy climbing the walls. Tony started to open the door and I put a hand out to stop him.
“Thank you, Tony.”
“I always open your door, Maddie.”
“You know what I mean.” I squeezed his arm.
“You’re welcome,” he said. “And don’t be nervous. You’re going to knock his socks off.”
He hopped out and held the door for me. I tucked my purse under my arm as I climbed the steps and told myself to breathe. Tony stood at the bottom of the stairs, a polite but safe distance away from me. Taking a deep breath I raised my hand to knock on the door right before it was yanked open.
“Hey.” Jake shoved a hand through his wet hair and that’s when I realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Puz stuck his head between Jake’s legs and gave a happy yip.
“Hi.” My eyes ran down his chest, over the hard lines and sharp planes of his chest and abdomen. A thick maze of scars trailed down his left side, disappearing into the waistband of his gym shorts. He was wearing a prosthetic that curved into a metal C and I noticed that he was holding a toothbrush limply in his hand.
“You look great.” His deep voice was huskier than usual.
I looked up to realize he was staring at me with a slightly dazed expression and I was suddenly glad I’d taken the time to dress up a little.
“I think I might be overdressed,” I teased.
“You look perfect.” He took a step back so I could come in. “I’m sorry. I overslept.”
I didn’t say anything, unsure how I felt about that. I guess I was the only one that was anxious about today. Instead I reached down and petted the dog. I’d missed seeing him at the shelter the other day, but I was glad to see him settling in so well.
His foyer was bare except for a small table littered with mail and pocket change. There were a couple of leashes strewn across a rack on the wall for Puz.
I’d half expected to find his home perfectly decorated, something his mother would have had done for him while he was gone. It was refreshing to find it empty of the telltale signs of a professional decorator. That meant this was really his home.
Most of the walls were bare except for some pictures in mismatched frames and a large painting of a valley that had a classic red barn surrounded by trees. I’d been to that farm before and suspected his sister Caro had painted it.
“How is Caro doing?” I spun in a slow circle, taking in the details of Jake’s home.
The couch was large but not leather like you would suspect. Instead it was a soft gray and looked like the perfect size for napping. There was a throw blanket and some pillows haphazardly strewn on the floor. The giant dog bed was in a corner with a blanket of its own. Game controllers littered the table in front of a giant television and an empty water bottle sat on the wooden floor near a comfortable-looking easy chair. The kitchen was further back in the house, but I could smell the aroma of coffee from where I stood.
“I haven’t talked to her much,” Jake replied.
“She’s pretty busy with her class load.” I shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her in a while either.”
“I suspect she’s using school as an excuse to stay as far away from here as possible.” He moved around the room, picking up the pillows and throwing them back on the sofa. “Sorry about the mess. Power went out last night and my phone died so I had no alarm.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I gestured to the television. “I’ll watch some TV while you get ready.”
He walked over to the giant chair and dug around in the cushions until he found a remote. I let myself really look at the scars on his side and back, while I knew he wouldn’t notice. I knew that he’d been hurt badly—that he was lucky to be alive, but it was different being faced with the actual evidence of his suffering. It was a miracle that he had healed so much in such a short amount of time. It was a wonder that he was even here.
“It’s a pretty simple setup.” He turned around and I jerked my gaze toward the windows behind him. “This is the guide button.”
“I know how to use a remote.” I laughed.
“I’ll be done in a minute.” He looked down at me and smiled softly. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Yeah? Why’s that?”
“You’re just so easy to be around.” He shrugged as if that summed up the whole world but I had no idea what it meant.
“And . . . that’s a good thing?” I frowned up at him. He gave me butterflies and I stumbled over everything I said but he thought I was easy to be around.
He stepped closer and I found myself nose to chest. His fingers tilted my chin up and his lips fluttered over mine. I
let my palm rest on his skin where I could feel his heart beating rapidly. He didn’t touch me except for the fingers on my chin and his lips on mine.
When he stepped back, his brown eyes were dark. “It’s a good thing.”
Before I could think to ask anything else, he was gone, taking the stairs two at a time. My fingers drifted up to my lips and I stared at where he had just been, the remote in my other hand forgotten.
I’d never been kissed like that before; with so much tenderness and awe. My heart flipped around in my chest for a minute before I turned away from the stairs and looked at the big television. The sofa was as comfortable as I thought it would be and I sank deep into the cushions. So deep that I worried I might need a rope ladder to climb back out.
Instead I kicked my shoes off and crossed my legs under me. This way I’d be able to get up without flailing around like a baby duck. Puz jumped up next to me and curled into a tight little ball against my side. Judging by the dog hair on the cushions I figured it was a regular occurrence so didn’t make him get down. The television had a lot more options than the one I used at college, but it didn’t take me long to find something to watch.
By the time I heard him coming back downstairs I was completely engrossed in The Goonies. I was a giant sucker for the movie. It was my go-to answer for sick days or bad test grades.
“Do you want to eat first or—”
“Hey yoooou guuuyss!”
Puz barked loudly, apparently surprised by the hollering on the television. I fumbled with the remote trying to turn the television back down.
“The Goonies?” He chuckled. “You still watch that movie?”
“Once a Goonie, always a Goonie.”
“I remember you watching that on Air Force One. You had food poisoning and your dad sat next to you while reading stuff. He’d pause the movie whenever you got sick.”
“Oh, God. I forgot you were there.” I covered my face with my hands. “Not exactly something I wanted to come up on a first date.”
“A first date,” he mused. “I think this is exactly what we should talk about on a first date. Tell me something else embarrassing.”
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