by Diana Seere
“We all have our crosses to bear,” Lars said.
Derry groaned.
“How do you get rid of it?” Lars asked.
“Get rid of what?”
“This damned beat. It feels like it’s in me. I can’t make it go away.”
“Why would you want to?”
“Because she betrayed me! Because she lied and—” Lars broke off the rant as he looked up to find Derry frowning at him.
“Maybe you are a fool,” Derry muttered.
“What?”
“Lars. Buddy. You can’t get rid of The Beat. Ever. You have it for a reason.”
“WHAT?”
“You can’t make it go away.”
“But she— But I— But… oh, fuck,” he gasped, Derry’s words sinking in.
Derry closed his eyes and sighed. “There’s your answer. You’re feeling The Beat because she’s yours. Yours forever. She’s your One.”
Lars began to laugh, a strange sound of joy and pain that he could never, ever replicate if asked. “This is ridiculous!”
Derry shrugged. “Welcome to the club.”
Chapter 9
Having decided to stand and fight for herself and her son, Kara vowed to live her life as if she hadn’t been interrupted by any man, tiger, or Beat. She got as much sleep as she could, all things considered, then got up at her usual time and dressed in jeans for a day of playing with Jamie. Later she would put on a dress and heels for her early evening shift at the Plat. As nervous as it made her, she’d decided to face the music, and she would.
As she slipped her feet into a pair of black boots, she tried to ignore the sensation that her heartbeat had a twin. When she pulled up the zipper over her calf, she could hear it thrumming in her chest, inside her, around her. An echo, as if their souls were holding hands.
“Pretend it’s indigestion,” she muttered to herself. She popped an antacid into her mouth and marched to the kitchen to make herself ginger tea.
But it wasn’t Kara who needed TLC. Nana sat at the table with her hand over her heart, her wide-eyed gaze fixed on nothing.
“Nana!”
“Oh, hi. You’re up already?” Nana asked vaguely, blinking a few times.
“What’s wrong?” Kara squatted next to her and held her hands. They felt bony, delicate, and too cold. “Something’s wrong.”
“I have this pain,” Nana said with a sigh. “It’s probably nothing.”
“Where?” Kara’s throat tightened. Nothing bad could happen to Nana. It just couldn’t.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Kara squeezed Nana’s hands. “We’re going to the doctor.”
“What doctor? I don’t have a doctor. I hate doctors.”
“Then we’ll go to the emergency room.” Kara jumped up, stroking Nana’s shoulder. “You stay right there and rest for a minute while I get ready.”
“I’m not going anywhere unless you make me.”
Kara was going to make her. Nana had spent her life taking care of other people; Kara had to do the same for her. Within five minutes, she had Jamie on her hip, his diaper bag on her shoulder, and Nana on her arm.
“I’m fine,” Nana said, shaking off her support. “Really, I was just dizzy for a second. And I’ve got gas. Really, I’m fine.”
“Let’s hear the doctor say it. Please, Nan? Otherwise I’ll be worrying myself sick about you.”
“Oh, fine. For you then.” Nana strode ahead of her down the stairs, but Kara noticed she gripped the handrail tightly.
Out on the street, Nana started to walk toward the bus stop when Kara restrained her. “We’ve got an Uber coming.”
“Don’t waste your money,” Nana said. “I’ll be fine on the bus—”
Kara pointed at the man driving up to the curb. “Here he is. This blue Toyota.”
“But what about Jamie’s car seat?” Nana started to go back to the apartment, then paused and pressed her fist against her stomach, a grimace on her face.
Alarmed, Kara ushered Nana inside the car. “There’s a car seat, see?”
The driver looked worried about taking a sick old lady to the hospital, but Kara told him they were visiting a sick friend, not actually about to die in his car themselves, and soon they were pulling up to Mount Auburn Hospital.
And then, two hours later, after the doctor told Nana they were concerned about her heart, she was admitted for overnight observation.
“See?” Kara said, tucking the thin hospital blanket around Nana’s hips.
“Thee?” Jamie said, reaching for the blinking lights on Nana’s electronic monitor.
Nana crossed her arms over her chest, jutting out her chin, but her eyes were half-closed and her voice was weak. “This is going to cost a fortune. I don’t need all this fuss. Really, Kara, this is totally ridiculous. You get that baby out of here before he catches something serious.”
Kara pulled Jamie away from another machine and lifted him into her arms. If only she could bring Jamie to a friend or sitter and come back to be with Nana—but she didn’t have a friend or a sitter, and she was due at work in less than an hour. “Don’t worry about the bills. Life comes first.”
“I’ll be fine. You go and take that baby out of this germy place, will you?”
“Call me if anything—”
“Go,” Nana said.
Telling herself she’d call the hospital every hour, Kara brought Jamie home, well slathered with hand sanitizer, and began to panic about how she could serve drinks at the Platinum Club with a toddler at her side. When she couldn’t think of any solution, she called Eva.
“Bring him,” Eva said. “Molly would love to watch him.”
“Molly?”
“She used to work for me. Now she works for herself. Runs a boutique in the building, engaged to Edward Stanton. You’ll love her, she’ll love you. I’ll tell her you’re coming.”
“But—but—shouldn’t you ask her first?”
“I’ll talk to her now, but I know Molly. She and Jess would love to take care of a baby. They might play with him a little too much, actually—I hope you don’t mind if he stays up late.”
“Jess? Isn’t that…”
“The one engaged to Derry Stanton. She also worked for me. Friends with Molly. You bring Jamie to my office, and the girls will be waiting for you here. The Plat is like a family sometimes.” Eva cleared her throat. “Especially when I’m short a waitress and can’t afford to have another one of you miss her shift.”
“Got it,” Kara said. “Thank you. We’ll be there.”
And so it was that Kara walked off the service elevator behind the Platinum Club with Jamie in his stroller and a diaper bag loaded with snacks and toys. As promised, Eva waited in her office with two very friendly looking women, Molly and Jess, and Kara felt her panic begin to ease.
“Oh my God,” Jess said, beaming at Jamie. “He is so f— I mean, so darn cute!”
Molly, a round-faced brunette with blue eyes, sat on the floor and reached out to Jamie, a warm and nonthreatening gesture that won him over instantly.
“You’re sure this is OK with you two?” Kara asked. “And Eva? You don’t mind how I’ll have to clock out a little early?”
“As long as you’re working for the next four hours, we’ll be fine,” Eva said.
“My boutique is closed right now, so he can run around and have fun,” Molly said. “Plus I’ve got a big-screen TV. And cheese crackers.”
“He’ll fall asleep in an hour,” Kara said. “You’ll probably get bored, honestly. Thank you, thank you, thank you—”
“Better get going,” Eva said. “Carl just called me; they’re swamped.”
With a final kiss on Jamie’s chubby cheek, Kara thanked them all again, waved, and headed out to the lounge.
Very rarely did Lars Jensen meet his match in a fitness club, but with Derry Stanton on the other end of the long, thick ropes, pumping in a rhythmic motion designed to produce endless sine waves, Lars could qui
te literally feel his arms turn into wet noodles.
Killing time in the Novo Club was a fool’s errand, but he didn’t care. No band performances were scheduled for the day. Waiting for his lawyer to call with news about Kara and the baby—no, toddler—meant certain irritation, the near-painful waiting making him a live wire.
Might as well abuse himself.
“Harder!” Derry shouted, not even breaking a sweat, grinning like a madman.
Challenge accepted. Lars pushed up with his legs, leveraging his strength from heels to hips, pushing his arms harder and harder until he realized, to his great horror, that he’d developed a new heartbeat.
Not a new rhythm.
An utterly new heartbeat independent of his own.
Startled, he dropped the ropes, one raking across his calf. Barely feeling the burn, he stumbled to the water cooler in a haze. Dehydration must be the cause. That’s it. He poured water into his bottle and guzzled it, not caring as it spilled out the corners of his mouth, soaking the neck of his shirt, trickling down his chest, pooling under his navel and soaking into the fabric of his pants.
And still the new beat went on.
It was a flutter, a hiccup, an echo.
A figment of his imagination.
A medicine ball thwacked him square in the stomach, his involuntary oof! making Derry laugh.
“You’re much more fun to work out with than any of my own brothers,” he said, handing Lars a towel.
Lars kicked the medicine ball away from him. It barely moved, heavy with intent. “Why?”
“‘Work out’ might be a bit trendy,” Derry said with a laugh. “It’s not as if most shifters need to use equipment like this.”
“But we can’t all shift regularly and run wild in Montana,” Lars noted. “Some shifters need to exercise the human way.”
He made a derisive sound.
“Most shifters need to be careful with their animal state, especially in a city like Boston,” Lars elaborated.
Derry looked at the television across the room, sound off but images flickering.
“Case in point,” he said, droll and dry, as Lars’ tiger form filled the screen.
“I was careless.”
“You were distracted.”
The flutter in his chest turned to raindrops on a tin drum. Lars coughed twice to chase it away. No luck.
A sudden pang of yearning for Kara nearly doubled him over, filled with a breathful of grief that tasted like her kisses. He reeled, staring uncomprehendingly at a worried Derry, who frowned.
“Lars?”
“This damned beat!” Throwing the towel aside, Lars picked up the medicine ball and tossed it at Derry, who caught it one-handed.
“It’s not going away.”
“Does it have to appear twice?” Pounding his chest once, he took a deep breath, willing it away. Every brush of his fingertips against his own skin reminded him of her. As he inhaled, he smelled her, the fresh tang of her arousal, the sweet relief of her tongue tangling with his.
The cool, flat softness of her palm against the back of his neck.
He despised himself for wanting her so much.
Hated her for betraying him.
Yet his true fury was reserved for his self-betrayal, for he questioned his own actions yesterday, wondering if he’d made a mistake. Pride goeth before a fall.
Was he being a prideful fool?
“Twice?” Derry’s eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Lars? What do you mean, twice?”
“The double beat. The little one that comes immediately after the bigger one.”
Long black hair brushed lightly against Derry’s shoulders as he shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Known for his jocularity and inability to remain serious in any given situation, Derry’s expression made it clear he wasn’t joking now.
Adrenaline kicked up a notch inside Lars’ blood.
“The Beat! The One! You said so yourself!”
“But that’s just it, Lars. It’s The Beat. The One. Not two beats. Not two.”
As the man’s words registered, Lars closed his eyes, his inner world telescoping to a single sound, the out-of-sync beats that came in twos, one stronger than the other, lighter sound almost trying to catch up to the deeper, stronger heartbeat.
It grew stronger.
Stronger.
And then suddenly Lars sprinted out of the fitness room, Derry calling out his name as he raced up the stairs barefoot, ignoring everything but that second beat.
Which grew and grew and grew as he climbed floor by floor, a beacon that called him, a siren call he had no choice but to answer.
His blood.
Chapter 10
Halfway through her shift, Kara called Nana at the hospital.
“Dehydration!” Nana cried. “Can you believe that? I get a little thirsty, and they insist on putting me in the hospital. I told them I want to go home, but they’re keeping me until the morning. I’ve still got tubes sticking out of me.”
“So your heart is all right?”
“As good as a woman half my age, the doctor said.” Nana lowered her voice. “And they don’t have any idea how old I really am.”
“I’m so relieved, Nana.”
“Yes, me too,” Nana said grudgingly. “I suppose it’s good to find out I’ve got to take care of myself a little better.”
“I’ll take care of you a lot better, too,” Kara said.
Nana yawned loudly into the phone. “You need anything else? I’m going to catch some sleep before those nurses come back with their needles.”
“I’ll be there first thing in the morning.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Take your time.” She yawned again and ended the call.
Just as Kara was putting her phone in her pocket, she looked up at the TV over the bar.
“Oh my God,” she whispered.
“I know, right?” replied the other waitress, a small woman with a platinum-blonde pixie cut. Kara could never remember her real name, but everyone called her Bell, short for Tinker Bell. “I can’t believe they let people have tigers as pets, you know? And then they get out and eat people. Or, you know, scare them to death.”
“Is this… live?” Kara asked. He could be in danger. People like Bell would panic, might even shoot him. She stared at the sleek, powerful cat on the screen. She’d never seen him as a tiger. He looked so…
Good. Familiar. Beautiful.
The echo in her heart pounded louder, drowning out Bell’s words. She moved closer to the bar so she could read the words at the bottom of the screen. It had been recorded last night, and they hadn’t found, caught, or harmed the animal.
Her animal.
Oh, oh, oh. She put a hand on the bar for support.
“Are you all right?” Carl asked.
In a daze, she looked over at the nice bartender. “I just need a little break.”
Deafened by heartbeats, she didn’t hear Carl’s exact words, but he was gesturing for her to go.
After setting her tray and apron on the bar, she hurried across the lounge to the elevator and took the car up to Molly’s boutique. She had to see Jamie. The world was such a dangerous place for shifters, and for exotic beings like weretigers in particular. Her mother had drilled it into her from the time she was in diapers that her animal shape could get her killed. As fun as it was to turn into a tiger in the first grade—other kids thought it was pretty cool—she could get herself, and her family, into deep, horrible trouble.
Seeing Lars on the TV had filled her with an urgent need to hold her baby, just for a minute, and then she could go back to work. She got off the elevator at the top floor—not bad for a fashion boutique—and saw an engraved gold plate on the wall directing her to Molly’s.
She walked through a nondescript door into a small but luxurious penthouse suite on the eastern side of the building. The incredible view of the Charles River through the panoramic windows almost distracted her from her goal. But then
she heard Jamie’s familiar laughter and spun to catch him just as he leapt into her arms.
Molly waved from her seat on the couch, where she held one of Jamie’s board books. Jess was there too, holding a juice box and the toy tiger.
“Mommy!” he cried.
“Hello, baby, how are you doing?” Kara buried her nose in his neck, inhaled his soft, perfect scent. Ah, yes. This was what she’d needed. Just a cuddle with her little guy. She heard the radio playing somewhere nearby, perhaps with the music she’d put in the diaper bag.
“Daddy!” he cried, twisting in her arms.
She sucked in a sudden, panicked breath. Lars? Could he be here? Had he tracked Jamie down through Eva? Or had Molly or Jess—
But then she realized Jamie was pointing at a TV. It was angled away from her, so she hadn’t seen it. What she’d thought was the radio was the news that had been playing downstairs.
“Daddy on TV,” Jamie said, bouncing in her arms so violently that she had to let him down to the floor. He ran around the sofa and slapped the expensive-looking television with both sticky palms, as if he were high-fiving the tiger that was loping across the screen.
Oh. My. God. She flushed, afraid to meet Molly or Jess’s gaze. What must they think? How much did they know about shifters? They were each marrying a Stanton, so they must know something. Would they realize what it meant to have a child recognize the identity of a weretiger?
The implications made her knees weak. Not only had he recognized Lars as the weretiger, he’d recognized Lars as his father.
It was true, but Molly and Jess didn’t need to know that. “You know about…,” Kara began, trailing off and making a vague gesture with her hand.
“Shifters?” Jess asked. “Oh yeah. We know.” She gave Molly a funny smile.
“Good,” Kara said. “OK. See, I shift into…” She gestured at the screen. Then the stuffed tiger in Jess’s hands.
“You’re a tiger shifter,” Molly said, then added, “Like Jamie.”