by Rachel Cross
“I’d love to, but I’m so exhausted I don’t think I can even walk. Besides, I have nothing to wear; all of my clothes are in the other room.”
There was a mischievous lilt in her voice as she sat up and leaned against him, her head over his shoulder and her bare breasts pressed into his back. Circling his waist from behind, she brushed playful fingers over his limp manhood. “We both know I don’t mind walking around buck-ass naked. But I know how excited you get when you see me without any clothes on.” She laughed in his ear. Brice groaned as he bent over and rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a pajama top.
The musical tinkle of her voice and the light stroke of her hands on his cock stirred more than the usual physical response. He was moved much deeper inside. She was right; he loved watching her nude body, and whether in motion or standing still, it never failed to arouse him. He also loved seeing her dressed in only his nightshirts. It gave him a sense of pride and possession to have her wrapped in silk and covered in his scent.
“Here.” He tossed her the shirt. “Wear this.” He pulled on his jeans. “And these.” He grinned as he leaned down to pick up the black stiletto pumps and dangled them from the tips of his fingers. She eyed the shoes with a wicked grin of her own and extended her hand. As he watched her slip into the shirt and heels, the sight of her made him instantly hard all over again. But instead of pushing her onto the bed and striping her bare, he hoisted her onto his back and carried her piggyback to the kitchen—relishing the soft silk sliding over his bare skin, the sight of brown legs and black pumps wrapped around his waist, and the sound of her delighted giggles reverberating in his ear.
• • •
Lounging together in bed, nestled among plumped-up pillows and tangled sheets, they feasted on strawberries dipped in chocolate sauce and indulged in tall glasses of chilled champagne. Brice was secretly amazed to find himself enjoying every second. He’d spent most of his life avoiding intimacy like this, never wanting to get this close, to be this exposed. With Candace, it was different. It felt right, like the most natural thing in the world. Caught up in the miracle of this woman and the moment, he knew he’d never be able to go back to a life devoid of this feeling. He pondered his growing, intimate desire to know everything there was to know about her.
Candace noticed him staring at her intently, and she frowned. The laughter they’d shared with such ease had faded away, replaced by an unusual and still silence. “You have a serious look on your face, babe.” She traced her finger over the deepened crease that extended from brow to brow and gazed into his eyes. “What’s on your mind?”
Instead of answering, Brice threaded his fingers in her hair and watched in silent wonder how the curls seemed to come alive, to coil and snake around his hand and wrist as if to hold him captive.
The image resurrected pieces of his fantasy dream and suddenly made him want to believe in mythical creatures with magical gifts. She was a witch, an enchanted being of infinite power who’d entangled him with her spell and changed his life forever. She’d wrapped herself around his body and his heart so tight he knew he’d never be free. He didn’t want to. In that instant, he realized the last vestiges of his uncertainty had vanished. He finally knew where he was headed and what he wanted in life. He wanted her. She was the one. And the revelation warmed him inside and lifted his soul.
A reminder of that long-ago conversation with David flashed in his head. He remembered proclaiming his refusal to become part of the “brotherhood of the fallen.” But that was before. Now, he couldn’t fathom living in a world without Candace. Things had changed since he’d agreed to go along with her proposal. He’d had his doubts all along, but now he knew for certain he’d never be satisfied with the limitations imposed by such an agreement. All he had to do was to persuade her that he was what she needed in her life. He was convinced the situation had altered for her too, that she was just too stubborn to admit it.
“Nothing much, I was just wondering.”
“Wondering, about what?”
“I was wondering, why is it you’re so dead set against a regular relationship?” He drew her face closer and gently brushed his thumb across her cheek. “I know you told me that you’re not interested in an exclusive one-on-one arrangement, especially with a nice guy.” He stopped stroking her cheek momentarily and gave her a faint smile. “But I can’t help but think there’s more to it than that. What’s the real story, Candace? Who broke your heart and kept you from trusting other men? I want to know what bastard stole your faith in love and messed things up for a guy like me. Tell me, because I really want to know.” I need to know.
• • •
His question took her completely by surprise. She’d never in her wildest dreams expected to engage in a heart-to-heart conversation with Brice, or any man. Men didn’t talk about love and heartbreak. Every woman knew their favorite conversations revolved around beer, boobs, and bitches, and probably in that order. She didn’t know what to say. She stiffened, sat up, and gradually pulled away from his grasp, suddenly needing to create distance between them. “It was a long time ago,” she finally answered in a quiet voice.
“Not so long ago if it still haunts you, and has power over you. What happened, Candace?”
Candace clasped her hands together in her lap and studied them with downcast eyes. She didn’t want to have this conversation, but Brice wasn’t the kind of guy to be put off when he wanted answers. He was persistent and steady, two things she admired about him most.
How much should she tell him? Part of her wanted to simply let go and spill everything, and share every hurt and disappointment she’d ever had. But another part warned she’d be a fool to give him that kind of power, to leave herself vulnerable to criticism and judgment. So she hesitated, too afraid to open up and expose her pain. Though years had passed since her heart had been broken, the hurt and humiliation was as raw and fresh as if it had happened yesterday.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You can trust me, Candace. After all we’ve shared, I want you to feel like you can tell me anything.” He stared at her with searching eyes.
“It’s not that, Brice.”
“Then, what is it?”
There it was. That persistent persona she both respected and shrank away from. Why can’t he just let it go?
“I don’t want to dredge up old hurts and open old wounds. It took a long time to put it behind me, and if you don’t mind, that’s exactly where I’d like to leave it.” It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him with her past. She didn’t want to trust him with her future.
“I don’t understand. Was being in love such a bad experience? Weren’t there good times too, at least enough to give it another shot?”
She pulled her knees up into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She tried to sound relaxed and unaffected by his questions.
“Sure, there were ‘good times,’ but the good didn’t outweigh the bad. It was pretty much a one-sided affair. I was in love. He was in lust. It wasn’t exactly the ideal combination for your standard happily-ever-after scenario. And yes, I did ‘give it another shot.’ It was the second time around that made me realize I’m not supposed to have anyone permanent in my life. I’m not a ‘three strikes you’re out’ kind of girl, Brice. It only takes me a couple of times to learn a lesson, and believe me, having my heart ripped to pieces twice was enough to get the point across.”
“Is that why you came up with this plan to engage in emotionless and detached affairs? Do you really think it will keep you safe from falling in love again?”
“Yes. Considering the type of men I usually date, that’s exactly what I think.”
Despite her best efforts, her temper was starting to rise. She didn’t like where this conversation was headed. “Why are you asking so many questions, Brice? What do you know about love? Have you ever been in love before?”
“No, I haven’t,” he replied calmly.
“I didn’t think so
. You’re as guilty as I am when it comes to avoiding relationships that could lead to a long-term commitment. At least I have a reason. What’s your excuse?”
“I don’t have an excuse. It’s just never happened for me before, that’s all. I’ll admit I haven’t gone out of my way to encourage it, but nothing has ever led me in that direction. No sparks. No fire.”
“You’re saying that in all these years, you’ve never, not once in your entire life, been in love? Not even a little?”
“No, not even a little. Not even when I was in school. Of course like every teenage boy I chased after girls, and had your typical crushes, but that had more to do with hormones than the heart. Later, when the girls became women, the chase became different, but I never stuck around long enough for things to get complicated. I wasn’t any good at pretending to feel something that wasn’t there, and I’d be an asshole to lead a woman into believing otherwise.”
“Really?” Her voice was heavy with mocking sarcasm. “Were these women aware of this noble gesture on your part, or did you pull a vanishing act and leave them to figure it out on their own?” Sarcasm slowly turned to anger. “Men are such cowards. They don’t have the balls to stand in front of a woman and tell her, face to face, they’ve lost interest and are ready to move on. We’re either left in the dark with a lot of unanswered questions—wondering what the hell happened—or baffled by bullshit explanations that would sound more believable coming from a ten-year-old child.”
Brice cocked his head to one side and gave her a look that revealed a sudden, dawning understanding. She dropped her eyes to avoid his penetrating gaze, knowing she’d said too much and he saw too deep.
“Things don’t work that way for me, Candace. I may be guilty of having a commitment phobia, but that’s all. I have nothing but the deepest respect for women, and I’ve never intentionally hurt or misled anyone. Unlike those other guys you seem familiar with, I’m not afraid to face consequences. When I make up my mind about something, I’m an all-in kind of guy. You should know this about me by now.”
A flash of anger tinted her cheeks with a faint crimson blush.
“Are you chastising me?”
“No. I’m educating you. I think it’s time you knew who you’re dealing with. You need to put aside your preconceived ideas about men in general, and have a little more faith in this man.”
Candace crossed her arms and gave him a studied look. The seriousness of his expression brooked no argument. Brice was clearly laying down a challenge. She stared back into those unflinching eyes, and her stomach knotted with mounting fear. In that moment, she realized he was telling her that things had changed. He’d moved beyond their limiting arrangement, and he wouldn’t be satisfied anymore with the way things were.
“Some things are easier said than done, Brice. Maybe you’ve never been in love before, but I have, and it hurts like hell. It’s a powerful, debilitating emotion that rips you apart and tears you up inside. If you haven’t had the pleasure, then I highly recommend you avoid it at all cost.” Candace got out of bed and crossed the floor to escape into the bathroom, and closed the door silently behind her.
• • •
Brice gradually awoke as dim morning sunlight filtered into his bedroom. A lazy smile played across his lips as memories of the night before ran through his head. Her natural scent mixed with perfume clung to the pillow beneath his head. He pushed his face in further to inhale the smell, and draw her essence in deeper. His body stirred with arousal. With eyes still closed, he reached out blindly to pull her close, only to find he was grasping at empty space. He opened his eyes and sat up quickly. Candace was nowhere to be seen. He’d pushed her too far, and she’d left sometime during the night.
His prying questions had made her angry. He’d followed her into the bathroom and done his best to soothe her ruffled feathers, but obviously he hadn’t done a very good job. She’d come back to bed with him, but she must have been angrier than he’d realized to pick up and leave in the middle of the night. But he stood by his declaration and his challenge. Maybe he was moving too fast and pushing too hard, but he didn’t want to wait any longer. It was time she opened her eyes and saw him for who he was—an individual—not someone to be judged by or compared to the miscreants from her past. He’d already proven he was an honorable man. A better man. He deserved her trust.
Brice fell back onto his pillow and stared at the ceiling. His brief moment of happiness had given way to a surprising and profound ache. It was true; he’d never been in love. He’d never experienced this feeling of exploring, reaching, and trying to hold onto something new, or the dull throbbing ache of loss. If this was what it felt like to be denied what your heart desired most, then she was right. Being in love sucked.
Chapter 24
Candace sat on the edge of the mattress with her elbow on her knee, resting her face in the palm of one hand while the other nervously made a twisted mess of the bedcovers. Once again, she’d ignored her instincts and ended up exactly where she always did: right in the middle of a mess. A feeling of impending doom hung over her head like a dark cloud.
It’s your own damn fault. She’d allowed herself to be reeled in by his charm and good-guy routine, had become too comfortable with how good it felt to be held in his arms. She’d dropped her guard, losing her inhibitions and her mind in the process. His good deeds aside, he’d managed to slide past her defenses one kiss and one awesome sexual adventure at a time. Now he’d taken up residence in a place closer than she’d like, and it scared the crap out of her.
Last night had brought about a change. She wasn’t stupid. She couldn’t pretend to ignore the reason behind his probing questions. Brice had made a statement loud and clear. So, she’d done the next best thing. She panicked and ran. It was cowardly of her to tuck her tail and run before morning, but it was better that way. She needed time. There was no way to think clearly when she was close to him.
Their night together had been the single most amazing experience in her life—and she wanted more. But she was terrified of what wanting “more” would mean. Candace buried her face in both hands and groaned in frustration.
She got up and headed to the kitchen. Her head throbbed under the weight of her thoughts, and the grumbling ache of hunger in her stomach was growing too loud to ignore. She was rummaging through the kitchen cupboards for something to eat when the phone rang and the doorbell sounded simultaneously. She grabbed the phone while moving forward to answer the door.
“Good morning, babe.” She heard the smile in Brice’s voice, and the familiar sound brought an immediate sense of peace to her chaotic mind. Despite her earlier misgivings, she couldn’t help the glow she felt inside at the mere sound of his voice. She shook her head. God, I’m a walking contradiction.
“Good morning back at you.”
“I was disappointed when I woke up this morning and found you MIA. You left without even saying goodbye.”
“I know, and I’m sorry about that, but you looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you. I left because it’s Saturday, you know, my errand day. I have a lot to do, and I wanted to get an early start.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it sounded like a pretty lame excuse even to her ears.
“I wanted to make sure you made it home okay. How are you feeling? Any sore muscles that need attending to?” His voice took on that sexy, wicked tone she loved to hear. “I’d intended to give you a full body massage, complete with warm oils, hot towels, and me.”
She laughed. “I’m fine, Brice. As a matter of fact, I’m better than fine. I feel great.” The thought of his big, strong hands kneading her muscles and cupping her body filled her head with intimate images of where his massages would ultimately take them. “I’m glad you called. I wanted to thank you for a wonderful evening. I really, really enjoyed it.”
When she opened the door, waiting there was a UPS guy with a package in his hand. She smiled, signed the receipt, and shut the door. She stared at the small lightweight box in c
onfusion, certain she hadn’t ordered anything. The return address was unfamiliar. She continued talking to Brice while she opened the box. As she tore into it, a sheet of paper fell out and landed on the floor. The word WHORE was spelled in cut-out magazine letters glued to the blank page. Inside was a clear plastic baggie that contained the shredded remains of a chocolate-colored lace bra and panty set, one she immediately recognized as her own. A chill went down her spine, and a soft frightened sound escaped her throat.
“Candace? What’s wrong?”
“Oh my God.” Her voice was scarcely above a whisper.
“Candace! Tell me what’s wrong,” Brice practically shouted into the phone.
“There’s a package. It has my underwear in it, ripped to pieces.”
“I’m on my way. Don’t do anything, just wait for me.” There was silence. “Candace?”
“Okay,” she answered and quietly hung up the phone.
While she waited, a hundred questions raced through her head, but she kept coming back to the same two: who and why. Suddenly, comprehension dawned and the answer was there, glaringly obvious. The over-the-top phone call, the crazy encounter at the restaurant, the break-in, and now this, her underwear in the mail. She suddenly heard the taunting sound of his voice in her head. “I can find out anything I want to know about you, Freak: your number, where you live, who your friends are—even who you sleep with.” Her heart thudded against her chest, and her stomach turned over. How could she have been so naïve? So stupid? Brice had been right all along. It was Andrew Nash. It had to be. He’d broken into her house, and he’d sent the package.
• • •
Brice must have broken every speed limit and traffic law known to man, because he was at her door in well under the forty minutes it usually took to cover the distance. She greeted him with a cup of coffee in one hand and the offending item in the other. To his surprise, she was not the crumpled vision of anguish and tears he’d imagined and expected to see during his drive over. To the contrary, she looked royally pissed. And it was a side of her he’d never seen before.