“Fuck. She’s gone. If I call in the cavalry, people will be irritated when we don’t catch the little bitch.”
Logan didn’t respond. He continued scanning the area, waiting for a directive from his boss.
“Let’s call it, Creeper.”
“You want me to keep looking? I don’t mind. I can go on up a bit farther.”
“No, it’s okay. Julia will get butt-hurt if I send you out on your own. I think she hauled ass through the fields. That girl is Flo Jo. And quiet too.”
“Do you think that’s her super power? Maybe she has magic. I think a lot of people do these days.”
She patted him on the back with a grin. “Maybe she does. That would explain how she got out of Hays. Come on, let’s go get some chow. I’m famished.”
“I think I’m famished too!”
###
“We’re not going to execute them.” There was steel in Steven’s tone, just below the fatigue. The two captives from the eastern barricade, a man and a woman, stood in his living room with their hands tied behind their backs. Their clothing was tattered and filthy, and they wore identical insolent expressions; an easy task since they were siblings. Fraternal twins, the same age as Steven himself.
“That’s your call, but you’re asking for trouble. They’ll just gather new recruits, hook back up with Dolores, and try again. But now they’ll have more information about our town,” Dani said between huge bites of canned potatoes, eaten directly from one of Steven’s mason jars.
“They didn’t see much. We had them blindfolded like you asked,” Sam said with a frown. He stood close to the prisoners, exuding a protective air. Dani rolled her eyes.
“More importantly, we’re not murderers,” Steven said.
“Oh, right. We’re not murderers when we storm into a town with our guns blazing because it’s a ‘rescue mission.’ You’re splitting hairs. Consider their execution a preemptive strike. It’s only a matter of time before they try again.”
“And was it necessary to kill those seven other people?” Julia asked, standing from her seat on the bottom step of the stairwell.
Dani set down the jar, and swiveled to face her.
“And what would you have done in my place? Subdue them with harsh language? Deter them with a stern look?”
Julia held the defiant gaze with a similar version.
“I wasn’t there, so I can’t answer the question of what I would have done,” Julia said. “But it seems to me they could have been wounded rather than killed. Our intent should be to incapacitate, not annihilate. There’s been so much bloodshed, and yet we’re supposed to be the good guys. At least that was my impression.” She glanced at Steven, who didn’t respond. “Cooperation. Compassion. Mercy. These are the qualities of an advanced civilization. If we don’t emphasize these things, embrace these ideals, then we’re no better than those people in Hays.”
Dani’s eyes narrowed. “We’re not raping anyone. We’re not enslaving anyone. We’re not trying to expand our empire through subjugation. I think we’re doing pretty fucking great considering everything.”
Steven watched the confrontation with fascination. Dani stood in front of his sister; barely two feet of carpet separated them. Both pairs of arms were crossed. The girl had to look up a few inches; Julia had her in height and outgunned her in the education department, but Dani had probably never lost a battle of wills in her life.
“But we can do better. We can always do better,” Julia said. “If we just accept murder as the status quo, I don’t think I want to live here.”
“Then don’t let the door hit you in the ass.”
“That’s enough for now,” Steven said. “I won’t second guess your decision, Dani. You’re keeping us safe, and that’s what you were hired to do.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Julia, you’re tired. You were worried about Logan. And Jeffrey too. Your nerves are on edge, just like everyone else. We can have a discussion about this after we’ve all slept and aren’t so emotionally wrung out.”
“What about these two in the meantime?” Sam said to nobody in particular. “I could take them a few miles out of town and let them go.”
Dani made a disgusted sound. “Do what you want. I’m going home.”
The next moment she made good on her statement.
“Well, that didn’t go so well.” Steven’s remark was directed at his sister.
“She’s a remarkable girl,” Julia replied, “but I meant what I said. I don’t want to live in a society that sanctions executions based on threat assessment. Do you realize how abhorrent that is? Good god, what’s next? Internment camps? Genocide? You, more than anyone else, understand the implications.” Her eyes were like laser beams as they bored into him.
“Enough, Jules. We’ll talk about that later.” There were people in the room who didn’t know about Chicxulub’s survivors. Thoozy did, but he was merely observing the speakers like they were actors in a melodrama. He hadn’t spoken a word since his arrival. Sam still stood beside the captives, and Logan watched from the stairs where he perched like a tousle-headed gargoyle a few steps above Julia.
“This isn’t the end of it,” she said. “I’m going to bed. Thoozy, can you get home by yourself? Do you want Logan to escort you?”
“No, ma’am. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry your head about me. You got enough on your mind without fretting about my old black hide.” His warm grin had the effect it always did; everyone seemed to relax a bit.
When Logan and Julia had retreated upstairs, Steven turned to Sam. The expression on the handsome face was a caricature of dismay; goodness practically oozed from the pores of the young man. If Sam had been put in charge of security, there would be fewer casualties – but greater peril.
As was oftentimes the case, the issue was as clear as mud, and no outcome was perfect. In this instance, though, it wasn’t a difficult call.
“Sam, take one of your people and drive these folks to Salina. You can borrow the fuel truck from Billy Ray. Leave them there with some food and water. Will you do that?”
“Yes.” The relief was evident in his voice.
“As for you two,” he addressed the captives, “don’t come back. Ever. If you do, I’ll unleash the kraken on you. I think you know who I mean. Got it?”
The heads of the middle-aged siblings nodded in unison.
The next moment Steven had his living room to himself except for the old man. Steven was exhausted, but Thoozy appeared quite comfortable in Steven’s favorite chair, giving no indication he intended to leave anytime soon.
“I could use a stiff drink. Care to join me?”
“I never pass up the opportunity to share a beverage with good people.”
Julia was fond of this character, and Steven could see why.
“Oh my. That hits the spot,” he said after taking a sip of Steven’s second best scotch. The twenty-six-year-old Glenfiddich was still nestled in his cellar, waiting for an occasion more momentous than this.
“It does indeed.”
The old man had something on his mind. Steven waited, enjoying the heat that had begun to spread from his belly to his toes. Thoozy’s eyes gleamed in the light of the kerosene lamp that rested on the coffee table between them. With a backdrop of flame-licked logs in the fireplace, he looked like a benevolent demon. The thought made Steven smile. The old guy in the Denver Nuggets sweatshirt and baggy jeans probably posed less of a threat than any other person in town.
“It’s a tough job you have here. The responsibility weighs you down from time to time, I bet.”
“That may be the understatement of the century,” Steven replied.
“I imagine it’s not so much the worry about keeping everybody fed and healthy that troubles you the most. I think a big chunk of your worry has more to do with the...special...people here.” A gnarled oak of a hand waved the glass in the direction of Liberty proper. “And the ones that are still out there.” The glass swung in the opposite direction.
&n
bsp; The rest of the world.
“You could say that. I know Julia shared some information with you. And I know you agreed to keep it to yourself.”
“I did. My word is as good as it gets, son. It’s pretty much all I have left now that my pecker doesn’t work so well.” The golden grin. Steven found himself being charmed and decided not to fight it. The whisky and the company felt good.
“I think something else that troubles you is the kind of situation that happened here tonight.” Thoozy took another sip of the amber liquid, smacking his lips in appreciation. “It’s a conundrum, isn’t it? Are we justified in taking one life to save our own or that of another? I have a feeling that question has vexed us hominids since the beginning of time.”
“I think you may be right about that. And we’re no closer to answering it.”
“Perhaps what’s important is the manner in which we address the question rather than answering it.”
“You’re talking about our humanity, aren’t you?”
Thoozy’s response was a smile.
“It’s not the destination but the journey, I suppose,” Steven said. “I’m not a religious man. I doubt there’s anything on the other side of this life other than a nice long sleep. So every second matters. Needs to count for something. Never before have so few humans had so much influence in determining the continuation of the species.”
Thoozy’s grin broadened.
“Our decisions and choices have never been this important. Have never had such an impact. The ripples we create now, in this decimated world, are like tsunamis. I’m aware of that fact from the moment I wake up in the morning until I go to bed at night. So yes, I guess you could say it weighs me down.”
“Might it be better to kill off all the bad people? Before they can harm the good people? Perhaps that young woman has a point.”
Steven didn’t know if he were being baited, or if the old man shared Dani’s preemptive strike philosophy.
“Don’t think I haven’t considered it. I even thought about sending armed caravans throughout Kansas to find them and eliminate them before they get to us. Don’t mention that to Dani, by the way. That girl doesn’t need more bloodthirsty seeds planted in her head than are already sprouting there. But of course we won’t do that. Because of our humanity. Because we’re fundamentally good. Even those who aren’t good can change. Nurture versus nature, right? But those types, even the awful ones, serve a purpose. They make the rest of us better than we are, better than we would be if they weren’t around to cause trouble. They inspire us to new heights of bravery and honor – qualities that are uniquely human.”
Steven paused, considering his summation. Thoozy watched him, the ancient eyes crinkling a fraction at the corners.
“What I’m trying to say is, there can be no light without darkness.”
The old man nodded in understanding. He wore the warm grin that his sister declared worked on everyone like a Valium.
“You’re a good man, Steven. I’m honored to know you. Thank you for this fine whisky and your company. And thank you for everything you’re doing for these people. I think most of them appreciate you, but if they don’t, just know that I do.”
The mahogany hand extended over the coffee table. Steven grasped it, registering the warmth in its bones and sinew.
“I’ll let myself out. Be sure to lock up after me.” The old man winked.
“You sure you don’t need some help getting home? Won’t you be cold?”
Thoozy waved him off. “A useful aspect of being old is there isn’t much flesh to get cold. I’ll be fine. You just take care of your family and don’t worry about me. Good night, sir.”
Steven watched him amble down the driveway, turn left at the road, then disappear into the gloom. He closed the door against the night.
###
A shadow detached itself from the tree against which it had been leaning and glided to the road where the old man was shuffling past. Thoozy had much on his mind at the moment; otherwise, his scythen would have alerted him to the presence. He thought about Steven’s words, allowed them exclusive space in his head like a cache of rare pearls placed a distance away from other precious gems. Then he thought of Julia. He had become fond of her these past months. She and her brother were extraordinary, but not in the way that recruits must be. Next he pondered the dangerous young man whom Julia had taken under her wing. He sighed. He was old, but he still felt the gamut of human emotions: frustration, dismay, joy, heartache, longing, love.
And fear.
“I wondered if we would meet again under such circumstances,” Thoozy said to the night. He was relieved to hear strength in his voice. There was no hint of old-man quaver.
“I think your magic has gotten weak. Your colors look different now.”
“You may be right about that. So what happens next? You gonna shoot me or strangle me?”
Logan paused, contemplating both options.
“It wouldn’t be smart to shoot you. People might hear.”
“True. So it’s to be strangling then?”
Thoozy turned to face his opponent. Light from the moon gleamed off Logan’s Cheshire cat smile.
“Maybe there’s a third thing I could do.”
A blade shimmered in the gloom. The next moment he felt the metal between his ribs, then a burning sensation in the place it had just been. Then he was lying on crumbling asphalt.
He had suffered many physical injuries in his unfathomably long life. He always assumed he would die someday, but he hoped his demise would be meaningful; a bit grand, even. Perhaps there would be time to give a compelling speech to a respectful gathering of his peers. He didn’t imagine it would end like this, with nobody around to bear witness except the deranged young man sitting beside him.
“Does it hurt?” Logan might have been asking about a paper cut.
“It doesn’t feel like a walk on the beach.” Damn. There was the old man quaver now. Hearing it made him sadder than knowing he was about to die. Perhaps it was just as well to go out this way, where no one he loved could hear the infirmity in his voice.
“I didn’t want to kill you, but I knew I had to after what happened that night when I thought I had killed you but didn’t.”
“Why did you try to kill me that night? Did the voices tell you to?”
“Yes. You know about them? They were really loud back then and sometimes it’s just easier to do what they tell me to. They’re not as loud now though, so that’s good.” The handsome face tilted toward the night sky, frowning from complex thoughts. “I don’t think they want me to be liked by people. Real people, I mean. They don’t come into my head as often now. Sometimes when I go to bed at night, I think they’re already asleep.”
There would be no compelling speech to an appreciative audience, but Thoozy’s last words could have long-reaching effects – ripples that might become tsunamis.
“I’m happy to hear this. Do you know that these voices are bad?”
Logan shifted his attention from the star-washed sky back down to the earth and the old man who lay dying upon it.
“Yes. I know they are.”
“Do you want to be bad like them, or do you want to be good like Julia?”
“It’s fun to be bad sometimes. Like when I kill things, I know it’s bad but it feels good to do it. At least it used to. It didn’t feel good to put that knife in you. Well, not as good as I thought it would. It feels good to be liked by everyone too. That feels really good.”
“Yes, of course it does. You must listen very hard to what I’m about to tell you. Julia’s life depends on it.”
The messy blond head nodded in the darkness.
“You have to make a choice. You can keep killing people, or you can be liked by everyone, especially Julia. Which feels better? Having friends, right? Isn’t that wonderful? Doesn’t it make your heart sing to know that people like you?”
“I don’t think my heart can sing. Only my mouth can sing. Is that you
r magic? Does your heart have a voice box? I always wanted to see what one looks like. I think it might look like those ballerina boxes that little girls have. The kind that has a key that you wind up and it makes the ballerina dance.”
Thoozy felt a flicker of impatience, and also more tired than he had ever been. He didn’t have long.
“Imagine yourself standing on a beautiful mountain. On one side of you is a very long drop down to where a river is flowing. There are jagged rocks in the river. It would be terrible, just awful, to jump off the mountain and into that cold water.
“On the other side is a lovely meadow. It’s filled with beautiful wildflowers and there are pretty deer grazing in the tall grasses. Birds are singing and the sun is shining. It would feel so nice to walk over there. Are you picturing it?”
Logan’s eyes were closed. He nodded.
“Now here’s the part that you must pay attention to. This is a type of story called a parable. Parables teach lessons, like being in school. The mountain represents where you are in your life at this moment. The cold, awful river symbolizes your decision to keep killing people. The beautiful meadow is your decision not to kill people and have everyone like you and have lots of friends. Which will you choose?” Thoozy barely had the strength to ask the question. His life was down to seconds now. He must make them count.
Logan stared at the old man on the ground. Saw the lifeblood seeping out onto the road, an ever widening pool of spilled ink.
“Can I shoot the deer in the meadow? I’m very good with my guns.”
Thoozy’s eyelids were so heavy now. He had to let them close. Memories began flooding into his head, pushing out the urgency of his message to the young man beside him. People he had loved and lost in his time on earth came to him. They were smiling and welcoming him. The love of a thousand lifetimes, ten thousand lifetimes, was all around him. The last movement of his ancient body was to smile.
He was home.
Chapter 19
Beauty and Dread Page 12