by Lucy Rinaldi
Aimee told me that Greg came to the hospital with me, stayed until I came out of surgery, then came into the room, but left a few hours later without saying a word to anyone.
He hasn't been back since.
He left me and I don't know why. It hurts so much, I thought we had something special, I thought maybe he loved me. I thought wrong.
I've racked my brains trying to think of reasons why he would leave me. Nothing comes to mind. Everything over the past couple months has been perfect between us. Everything. I thought it was leading us to love, but all it's led me to is heartache.
I know he kept things from me, and yes, I was angry at first, but I would have understood if he'd just told me why. Then I could have told him my secrets. I would have had to swear him to secrecy, but I trusted him enough to know everything. We could have worked all of this out.
Why didn't he just wait for me to wake up and talk to me?
The day it happened and I ran from him, I thought my heart would shatter into a million pieces. But once I got home and cried for a few moments, I suddenly realized that I needed to give him the chance to explain himself. I knew there would be a good reason why he hadn't told me about his ex-wife. Just as there's a good reason I haven't told him about my ex-husband.
So, I picked myself up and ran all the way back to his parent's house. As soon as I got out the back, I saw that crazy bitch with a gun pointed at my man, heard the reasons why she is now is ex. God, my heart sank to my feet. I can't even imagine what that did to him.
My eyes were on that gun, my ears on the words they exchanged. I knew it was going to end badly, even with Keller talking her down. The second she screamed, I knew she was going to pull that trigger.
My heart pounded out of my chest, everything slowed right down. I looked at Greg and I just knew I'd lose him if I didn't do something.
So, I did something.
I pushed past everyone to get to him, the bullet left that gun and hit me in the side just as I reached him. My eyes widened, Greg caught me as I fell. He held me close to him as Enzo and Paige worked on me until the EMT's arrived. I remember coughing up blood, Greg begging me not to leave him, but then it's all black after that.
Why would he beg me not to leave him if he just intended to leave me?
I am so frustrated!
I blink back the tears clouding my eyes. I don't want Enzo to see me cry, it's good of him to be here on his break. His wife has been popping in when she can to check on me, it's nice of her also when she doesn't have to. She must be really busy with her own patients without checking on me all the time.
“Chief says you're a hero.” I'm no hero. “Everyone at the station is talking about you.”
“Must be boring.” A bit like being stuck in this bed all the damn time. Even when they come in to move me around to help with my broken ribs it's boring.
They don't move me too much, just enough so that my lung can heal along with my ribs. It's beyond painful, especially having to cough in order to heal, and I'm guessing without the morphine it would be ten times worse.
“Come on, Dani, don't do this to yourself.” Enzo slides his hand into mine, squeezing, drawing my eyes from the window to him. “Look at you,” He wipes the silly tears from my cheeks, making me laugh. He's a good friend. The best I have here in Oak Springs.
He took me under his wing when I “transferred” here from California. His old partner had been killed during a fire three towns over. They'd been called in because there weren't enough firefighters on call at the time.
I thought Enzo would be a little hostile toward me because of it. But he wasn't, he was so welcoming it shocked me. I'd never known anyone so open and kind before. Never known a man look so much like a giant bear before either.
But that giant bear of a man befriended me, introduced me to his wife and daughters, had me round for dinner sometimes, introduced me to his friends. He has made my time here amazing.
I didn't know if I'd like it here, the small-town life and all that. But I love it, and it got even better when I met Greg. Even when all my friends accused me of cheating it didn't completely ruin my love for this place.
Falling in love with Greg changed everything I ever knew to be true about love. Even if I did know in my heart it couldn't last. But I want it to, I tried to make it perfect.
Now it's all just ruined.
“I know you're not feeling so great right now, Dani. I know you're missing Greg,”
“I don't want to talk about, Greg. He has made his feelings quite clear.”
“It's not what you think, Dani.”
“It's exactly what I think, Enzo. Don't bring him up again!” I snatch my hand out of his, turn away from him and close my eyes. I know he's trying to help, but I just want to be left alone.
“I'm sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to upset you.” He leans over and kisses my head. “I'll be back to check on you later.”
I simply nod and wait for the sound of the door closing before I open my eyes again. That's when I let the tears fall. I want to purge my body of this utterly sad feeling. I want to get it out so that I can move on. And I will move on from Greg Harper, just like I move on from everything else that's ever hurt me.
* * *
It's been six days since I saw Greg. I've finally come to terms with the fact he isn't coming back, that he doesn't want me. Whatever his reasons, they are his reasons, I won't question them anymore.
I hope, wherever he is and whatever he's doing that he's happy. I still want that for him. I think he went through enough with that crazy ex-wife of his. And I think it affected him more than he's ever admitted to himself.
Maybe now he can put it behind him, maybe see someone who can help him finally let go. Having a woman pretend her child is yours for over three years couldn't have been easy for him. I can't imagine the love he felt, the love he still feels for that little boy. Holding him when he was born and telling him all the things they'd do together. Watching him grow, being there when he was sick, teaching him all the things a father would teach his young son. All to have him snatched away in the blink of an eye.
I don't know the ins and outs, no one has told me anything to do with Greg since I yelled at Enzo that I didn't want to talk about him anymore. But I can't deny that sometimes when I'm alone, I think about him. I wonder what he's doing, if he's okay, where he is.
Thinking about him doesn't get me anywhere, it won't change the fact he doesn't want me. It won't change the fact that I don't think I can stay in this town any longer knowing he'll be here. Bumping into him would be too awkward. Unless he moves back to Seattle full time, then I can stay. But even then, his family live here, he'd be visiting them.
I'm just so torn right now. I want to be okay with this, able to just pretend he didn't change my life, fill my heart before he broke it in two. But I can't, it's just not that easy.
They've lowered my dose of morphine, so each time a nurse comes in to help me move around, it's damn agony for me. They elevate my left arm most of the time, they say it will help to heal my broken ribs, but only if they rotate my shoulders as well. I'm not fucking dumb! I'm a paramedic, I have medical training!
I have to sleep sitting up, and I can't sit around for long periods of time. They have me up and about every hour or so. It's annoying the hell out of me. I'm angry at everyone about everything, and I hate myself for it.
They also have me coughing and taking deep breaths. Paige told me that even though it hurts like hell, if I don't do it my lung won't expand right and I could also end up with a serious chest infection – again, I know this! – and I do not want one of those. I want to get the hell out of here already.
My bullet wound is healing nicely according to Dr. Mulligan. He's really happy with my progress and is happy for me to go home within the next couple days. I'll be glad to get home to my own bed. But he's not willing to let me go without someone there to help me.
I know Enzo and Paige will help me as much as I need, but t
hey can't be there all the time, and I will not move in with them while I heal, no matter what Enzo says.
I don't yet know what to tell the doctor, but I'll think of something. I won't be kept here against my will. If I have to, I'll sign myself out. There's no law in the land that can force me to stay here.
The opening of the door startles me a little. I'm not expecting visitors, Aimee and Della left half hour ago. I open my eyes and stare at the man walking toward me. I think I'm in shock. It must be an apparition, there is no way I'm seeing who I think I'm seeing.
He looks as handsome as ever. So smartly dressed in his dark suit pants and a button-down shirt, his suit jacket hanging over his right arm, his dark hair slicked back, his blue eyes shining as he looks at me. He looks much bigger built than the last time I saw him. He's been working out since we last met.
“Hey you,” He drops his jacket on the chair beside my bed and I can smell his cologne.
I close my eyes and breathe in the familiar scent, causing pain to rush through my chest. I grimace in pain, he rushes to my side, not sure what to do to help me.
That's when I realize he's really in front of me. “Daxton,” I sob-laugh. I reach out and touch his face, he smiles and takes my hand, kissing it before looking at me.
“Long time no see, beautiful.”
“You're really here,” I state in wonder. It's been many months since I saw him. No one will ever fully understand just how much I have missed him, how much he means to me.
“I'm really here. Took me a while to get away.” He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear, cupping my cheek as he does. “I would have come sooner, but the Captain couldn't spare me until now.”
“Who told you I was here?”
“Sheriff Harper called me.”
I narrow my eyes.
How would Sheriff Haper know to call Daxton?
How would he even know who he is or how to get his number?
I hid everything about myself when I came here per Daxton's orders. I was to tell no one here where I'm really from, show no one who I really am.
I changed my appearance only slightly, I couldn't have born going under the knife to change my looks. I wasn't that brave, no matter the danger I might have been in. I changed my body from the skinny girl without curves, to the curvy girl with the big ass that I am today. And I did it without enhancements.
I lightened my hair a little, but my tanned skin meant I couldn't go blonde, no one is stupid enough to believe a Latina would have been born with blonde hair. Dying it that color would have just brought more attention to me.
The transfer job that Daxton and his men came up with before they sent me here?
Fake.
The life and people I left behind?
Fake.
Everything about me is fake apart from my body.
I'm not the same girl I was three years ago. I don't even remember the girl I used to be. She's gone, and she's not coming back.
It's a good job Greg left when he did, he doesn't know a thing about the real me, he never will.
Who the hell was I to go crying because he didn't tell me about his ex-wife and the life he had before he came here?
“How would he know to call you?”
“You don't think I'd set you up here without informing the local police department so that I know you're safe?” I guess I should have known that. “Don't be silly, Dani, of course, I'd make sure you were safe. No matter where I hide you, I'd have made sure I had people here looking out for you.”
That makes sense. I guess, if I look inside myself, I knew he wouldn't just drop me in this little town and leave me unprotected. But the fact Sheriff Harper knew the reason I was here, that he was to look out for me, and that he said nothing when he found out I was dating his son feels strange to me.
Okay, Daxton didn't expect me to live in this town, work, make friends and then think I wouldn't have relationships. In fact, he told me to live a normal as possible life while I'm here. Because who knows, I could be here for a very long time.
But I should have known I'd mess things up. No matter where I am, no matter how many times Daxton has moved me from one place to another, it's never worked out for me. Whether it be the fact I couldn't settle, people didn't like me, or that I just messed things up, nothing ever lasts. I'm always going to be someone new in a new place trying to fit in.
I really liked being Danika Ashford. I think she was the best one yet. She was more adventurous than the others. This little town is the first one in four years that I actually felt I belonged in. The people are friendlier, there's always someone willing to help. And the fact I've been here almost a year is a miracle in itself. I've never lasted anywhere else any longer than a few weeks.
I really thought I could make this place my home.
I thought it could be a home for my son when he's finally back with me.
I guess I was wrong.
“Sheriff Harper called me and told me how you'd saved his son. Took a bullet for him. For you to have done that with so much at stake, he must be really special to you.”
“He was.” I sigh.
I don't really want to talk about Greg with Daxton. I might pretend I'm okay, but deep down, it's killing me. The not understanding why is still churning in my gut.
Daxton holds my hand tighter, squeezing it lightly to get my attention. I hadn't realized I'd drifted off in thought.
“A few weeks ago, when I got in touch with the Sheriff to check up on you, he told me how you'd gotten through to his son with your smiley disposition, brought him out of the funk he'd gotten himself in. I told the Sheriff how you'd have him falling in love with you because it's so easy to do.” He smiles at me.
I have no idea why he always says such things to me. He's always been that way, always trying to make me feel better about myself. But all he's doing right now is hurting me.
“I don't know what happened between you, but I do know that man fell for you. His father was quite sure of that.”
“Then why did he leave me when I needed him the most?” Daxton opens his mouth and closes it just as fast. There's nothing for him to say. “Dax, I want to leave this place. I can't take seeing him every day.”
I close my eyes as he strokes my face with his knuckles.
What am I supposed to do?
Why does it hurt this much?
I've known pain before this, but it was nothing like this. I've never felt so lost and alone in my life before. They say it gets better with time, but right now, I don't see how that can be.
“If you really want to go, then I'll sort something. It will take me a week or so, but I'll do it. But think about it first, Dani. Don't just run away from the life you've built here. Moving around all the time has really taken its toll on you.”
“I've never had a choice, Dax!”
“I have done everything in my power to keep you safe! Safe from the monster you married against my advice!”
I blink in surprise.
Daxton never gets angry. But it seems that I have angered him with my selfishness.
He's right, though, all he's ever done is try to keep me safe, to protect me from Joel. He's done a damn good job over the years.
Of course, like I said, Joel found out where I was a couple times, even caught up with me once. He didn't get near me for more than a moment before Daxton arrived. The panic button in my ring has always been a godsend.
Joel escaped, but Dax moved me on that very day. I haven't seen or heard from Joel since. That's not to say he isn't still looking for me. I may not be his main priority, but he'll never stop until he finds me and ends me.
That will be my punishment for reporting him to the police and having him arrested. What good it did me, I don't know. He got away with it all, too many friends in high places, he even stole my son from me just to punish me. I will never believe it wasn't him, no matter what they say. I know I've said it before, but I can't even explain the pain I have been in since that day. It never eases, i
t only gets easier to pretend.
Dax won't let Joel get to me. He won't stop until he finds enough evidence against Joel and his wrongdoings to finally put him behind bars, but only then will I get my son back.
God, I still don't even know if my baby is still alive.
He has to be. I have to tell myself every day that it won't be much longer before we're together again.
“If you don't want this life anymore, if you want to forfeit your life completely, forfeit your son, then go home, Dani. Go back to Tulum, I'll take you myself. Just say the word.”
I don't want that. What the hell am I supposed to do in Mexico, I have no one there now. I haven't been home in fourteen years. I wouldn't even know the place anymore.
“Lo siento, Daxton. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful, I'm just so tired. I'm tired of praying I'll see my Alejandro again. I'm tired of lying to everyone. I like my life here, I really thought that I could make a home here for Alejandro and me. I felt normal for a while. Greg made me feel normal. I thought we had something. I thought I could trust him enough to tell him the truth about who I really am. He made me fall in love with him, then he just left me!” I'm crying now. I'm tired of crying, but I can't help it.
“Mi pequeña mariposa finally fell in love, huh?”
I nod slightly.
I have fallen in love, real love, and I don't know what to do about it.
“Don't cry, sweetheart. Things are never as bad as they seem. It may seem hopeless right now, but things will work themselves out, you'll see. And do you know how I know that?”
“How?”
“Because I have found Alejandro.” My eyes widen, mouth agape, gasps of shock escaping me. Daxton cups my face with both hands. “I made you a promise and I kept it.”
“Daxton.” I sob his name.
Is this real?
He found my baby!
“Shh. I want you to listen to me.” I nod, blood pumping loudly in my ears, chest heaving, but I'm listening. “I want you to know that he's safe.” More tears slip from my eyes. “He's a little confused at the new name change, but he'll get used to it.”