by Shayla Black
Cutter could picture it now. Brea must be anxious to escape One-Mile, along with her father’s wrath. She’d never been good at standing up to Preacher Bell, and since Pierce was every bit as subtle as a Mack truck, Cutter figured she wouldn’t be good at diffusing conflict between her and her baby daddy, either.
“Why didn’t she call me?”
“I told her not to. What are you going to do from Los Angeles? She doesn’t want to interfere with your job. Clearly, you have your hands full. In the pictures I’ve seen, Shealyn West has a seriously nice ass.”
“Hey,” he barked. “Shut the hell up.”
His brother didn’t say anything for a long minute. “You falling for her?”
“If you’re going to lecture me, get in line behind the Edgington brothers. Besides, your speech is too late.”
“You’ve already fallen for her?”
“I’ll have to fill you in later.” Cutter watched the two women giggle about something, and he was so relieved to see Shealyn look, even for a moment, as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
“You have. You’re in love with her. Shit. And that kiss looked as if she felt something for you, too. What are you going to do?”
His obligations tangled with his desires. The mental wrestling match was brutal, and both sides were too strong to simply admit defeat. “I don’t know.”
“Want my advice?”
“You’re going to give it to me even if I don’t,” Cutter pointed out.
Cage chuckled. “True enough. Here’s the thing: You can’t protect Brea at the expense of your own heart. She’s a grown woman. I know you feel as if she’s only in this position because she had to beg One-Mile to help you, but like I said before you left for Cali, there are other ways to repay her that she may need even more than your name. Don’t chain you both down for the rest of your lives over an antiquated notion that a woman alone can’t raise her child. Besides, you only get one chance to make the most of this life, bro. Don’t waste it.”
“That’s it? At the end of all that ‘wisdom’ you’re basically saying YOLO?”
“Yeah, I am. Because it’s true.”
“Why am I taking romantic advice from a perpetual bachelor?”
“I’m a bachelor who’s been around the block over the years. While you were getting your ass shot at in that godforsaken desert, I was getting laid, thank you very much.”
“I appreciate you for rubbing it in.”
“The point is, I’ve never met a woman I really connected with on a level other than temporarily sexual. But if I had, I’d pursue her. Endlessly. I’d stay on her ass day and night, and wear her down until she finally said yes because I know genuine connection is rare. Don’t give it up so easily. Or you may spend every fucking day for the rest of your life regretting it.”
Cutter turned the words over and tried to digest them. What if Cage was right? How would he feel if he returned to Sunset to speak vows he would never mean to the woman he thought of as a sister and never allowed himself the chance to experience love, even briefly?
He raked a hand over his short hair. What a terrible fucking dilemma. He either had to violate his own moral code that dictated commitment was sacred or miserably wonder “what if” for the rest of his life. Of course, Brea wouldn’t care what he did in California. She’d all but told him to enjoy his time with the woman he loved. Cage was echoing the sentiment. Could he make and hoard enough memories with Shealyn in the next few days to last him? So he could leave her with peace in his heart and do his duty back home?
“Thanks. Call me if anything else happens around Sunset.”
“If you don’t hear from me, then don’t worry about anything going on here. You figure out your shit so that when you come home, if you decide to marry Brea, you can do it without regrets.”
* * *
—
A few hours and both bottles of wine later, Jessica called an ex to come pick her up because she was too tipsy to drive. It sounded an awful lot like a booty call to Shealyn, but that was Jessica. For her, life was about fun. Anything too serious would probably send her into anaphylactic shock.
And if Shealyn took Jessica’s advice, she would say something flirty and suggestive to Cutter the moment they were alone again and lure him back to her bed. But he’d made it clear he would rather have distance between them. Since then, the video of her “infidelity” had spread, and life had become infinitely more complicated. The last thing she should do was further compound everything with more sex.
Unfortunately, she craved Cutter’s touch. Not just the pleasure of it, but the care in it, the safety of it. She’d love to lose herself in it because being naked and tangled in his embrace made her forget about everything except how perfect it felt to be with him.
She could use some of that goodness right now.
As she let Jessica out the door following her eager ex’s arrival, Shealyn closed it and flipped the lock. Cutter seemingly melted out of the shadows.
“Nice of her to visit.”
“It felt good to laugh.” She took their glasses to the kitchen sink and tossed the empty bottles.
“I’m glad you did.” He nodded grimly. “You should drink some water and take some ibuprofen before bed.”
“I will, though Jessica drank way more than I did. Are you okay?”
Shealyn was aware that he’d received a phone call shortly before he’d made her and Jessica some soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner. He’d been noticeably more remote since that conversation.
“Fine.”
He was lying, but why call him on it? His personal life was none of her business. He’d made that clear. “Has anyone figured out your identity from the video yet?”
“And publicly named me?” He shook his head. “I’m good so far. My boss called to chew me out. He left a less-than-subtle message, which I haven’t answered. And my brother called to update me on the problems back home.”
She could see where an angry boss would upset Cutter. Shealyn wanted to wrap her arms around him and comfort him but he’d already scratched her off his to-do list. Still, it seemed clear the poor guy was getting tested from all sides. The last thing he needed now was for her PR nightmares to suck him under. “I know I probably can’t do anything to help, but I’m willing to listen.”
He shook his head. “Thanks. My brother’s got this for now. The rest will wait until I get back. A friend of mine is the one in a tough situation. Don’t worry about me.”
But she did. He mattered to her, even if he didn’t want to. “Thanks for dinner.”
“It wasn’t much, but you’re welcome.”
“Did you eat, too?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I whipped something up for myself.”
She shrugged his way, and the awkward conversation stalled. The words she really wanted to say to him sat on the tip of her tongue. But despite the thick swirl of feelings between them, she had to accept that Cutter didn’t want to pursue anything deeper.
It was ironic. Men everywhere apparently had the hots for her. For the last two years, Esquire and Maxim had both ranked her as one of the sexiest women in Hollywood. But right now, she just felt the crushing sadness of a woman aching for a man who had put her out of his life in every way except professionally.
“Good. Well . . . I should, um, go to bed.”
“Can I say something first?”
“Sure.” She just hoped that whatever it was, it didn’t hurt more.
“This morning I said I didn’t think it was wise for either of us to get too attached.”
“Logically, I know you’re right.”
“Logically, I am.” He swallowed and stepped closer, cupping her cheek. Excitement raced through her veins. “Problem is, my heart doesn’t give a damn about logic.”
She gaped at Cutter. She had not seen that c
oming, but a quick search of his dark eyes said he was serious.
“Neither does mine,” she admitted in a whisper.
With soft fingertips, he brushed the hair from her cheek. “Even knowing I’ll probably be going home in a few days and I’ll never see you again?”
“If a few days is all I can have with you, I’ll take them. We can’t control the future, but we can make right now our time. You’ve made me feel safer, sexier, and more satisfied than I ever have. I don’t want to give you up a moment sooner than I’m forced to.”
“Selfish or not, I don’t want to give you up now, either. I want to soak up every memory of us that I can.”
They stood, staring at each other in the shadows of her living room. The desire she’d been holding at bay since this morning crashed over her self-restraint.
“Kiss me,” she whimpered in the dark.
“I’m going to do more than kiss you, sweetheart.”
“God, I hope so. I want to do a lot more than that to you.”
A half smile that looked somewhere between resigned and sly curled up his mouth. “I shouldn’t . . . but I’ll let you.”
They moved as one, lunging for each other. Cutter cradled her face and brought her mouth under his for a deep, sweeping kiss. As he took possession of her lips, Shealyn drowned in his touch and tugged impatiently at his T-shirt. It came over his head with one desperate jerk of his fist. It hadn’t even touched the ground before she went to work on the button and zipper of his jeans.
As she palmed his erection through the denim, his head rolled back on his shoulders and he groaned. The thrill of touching his hard, leashed power excited Shealyn. She’d never had a good chance to explore a man’s body and see how her touch affected him. But that’s what she wanted most with Cutter—her hands and lips all over his body so she could feel him tense, listen to him growl, and watch him lose all control. Before he fucked her breathless.
That wasn’t an urge a “nice” girl had. Right now, Shealyn didn’t feel nice. She felt daring and uninhibited. No, that wasn’t true. She finally felt like a woman free to be herself because the man with her appreciated the female she kept hidden from the rest of the world.
After a moment’s fumbling, Cutter shoved his pants and underwear down to his ankles.
Then she stroked his bare length in her hands—and she dropped to her knees.
“Sweetheart?” He froze.
She didn’t stop, didn’t ask for permission, didn’t wait. She merely leaned in and licked her way across the broad, salty crest of his cock.
Cutter thrust his fingers in her hair and eased more of his length into her mouth. “Yeah . . .”
His approving growl pinged through her. Definitely yeah.
Shealyn opened wider to suck more of him in. The velvety, hard girth filling her mouth was a revelation. She could almost taste his masculinity. His desire had a flavor that she feared would forever addict her. For now, she drank it in, cradling him on her tongue before wrapping her lips around him even tighter and slowly easing back on every inch with a long, strong pull.
“Oh, fuck, yeah . . .” His fingers tightened in her hair.
Shealyn didn’t know what to do next and didn’t know what he liked precisely, but it seemed as if she was on the right track, so she shuttled him in her mouth again, tongue toying with him along the way, until she wasn’t able to accommodate any more of him. Until her nose touched his abs. Until she had to tell herself to breathe through her nostrils and not to panic. Until she couldn’t stop inhaling him because his scent was stronger here, headier, and she was drowning in the most delicious coil of desire imaginable.
But Cutter had ideas of his own, tugging on her hair until her scalp tingled. He broke the seal of her suction and pulled free. Then in one motion, he swooped down with one hand to reach into the pocket of his pants. With the other, he nudged her onto her back.
“I wasn’t done,” she objected.
“You are for now. I can’t wait for you.” He killed all the lights except the dim lamp nearby. “Now no one can see in. Take your clothes off.”
“Here?”
“Your bedroom is on the other side of the house. Me waiting that long to get inside you isn’t going to happen.” He kicked the jeans off from around his ankles and set the condom on the carpet, within reach. “Naked. Now.”
His demand sent a thrill dancing through her body. She shimmied out of her shirt, yoga pants, and panties. He helped her pull free of her bra with his one-handed move that told her just how much practice he’d had with the maneuver. Unclasping four hooks he couldn’t see with one hand was quite a feat . . .
Then she didn’t care because she was blessedly naked and his lips were on hers again, his hands cupping her breasts.
He made love to her mouth, sinking in as far as he could, tasting, taking—and insisting without a word that she give him everything. Shealyn couldn’t help but surrender. Her fever rose. Her head swam. She curled her arms around him and parted her legs under him, wishing he was already inside her so she didn’t have to wait or want or ache anymore.
Finally, he ripped away from her kiss and whispered roughly in her ear, “I don’t know when we’ll make it to the bed, but if you have to have a ‘date’ with Tower tomorrow night, I intend to send you so satisfied that you can’t think of anyone else.”
“I already can’t,” she admitted with a gasp.
He rewarded her by sucking her nipple into his mouth, nipping and drawing on it until it stung and made everything between her legs draw up tighter. He lifted his head suddenly to stare at her through the darkness, and she felt the zing of that connection all the way to her soul.
“I shouldn’t be so happy about that. I can’t keep you for long, much less forever. I should be a gentleman and get up right now, leave you alone. At the very least, I should want you to have a happy life after I’m gone. But I’m a bastard because I want you all to myself. And the only man I ever want you to want is me.”
His words sent a tremor through her.
He seemed so torn that Shealyn didn’t tell him that he was already the only man she had ever truly wanted. In fact, she didn’t see herself letting another man this close to her heart again. Of course she knew he was leaving. That had been predestined from the moment they’d met, but he was here now. And she needed him so terribly.
When he kissed her again, she tasted his desperation. Whether or not he said it aloud, he needed her, too. She could give him succor and relief. She could make him feel complete tonight.
Their mouths meshed together in a timeless frenzy of passion. He cupped her hip in one hand and brushed her nipple in maddening strokes with the other. Shealyn couldn’t hold back a moan. She tore her lips free to pepper kisses along his jaw and down his neck, nipping love bites into the hard flesh of his shoulder.
“You make me do things I shouldn’t,” Cutter growled. “I should stop, but every time I look at you, I can’t.”
“I don’t want you to. We have this weekend. Let’s not spend our time together thinking about what we should do or what other people want us to do. Let’s put ourselves all in. We’ll deal with the fallout come Monday.”
“It’s dangerous as hell, but yeah. That’s what I’m going to do. That’s what I need.”
Shealyn understood his hesitation. He was as afraid of falling in love as she was. Neither of them had done an effective job of fighting it, so they may as well give this . . . thing between them the time and attention needed to work it out of their systems.
At least she hoped that was possible.
“Good.” She gave him a little shove, and he allowed her to nudge him onto his back.
“What are you doing?”
“Whatever I want.” She smiled at him through the shadows. “You’re not afraid, are you?”
He didn’t answer right away, his face so sole
mn it made her heart stop. “I might be. No one can undo me like you.”
His words humbled her. Shealyn loved that he didn’t play games. He gave her pure passion, honesty, emotion. She melted a little bit more.
“Let me show you what I can do when I really try.”
With a little grin, he threw his arms wide and made himself vulnerable to her. “All right. Do your worst.”
“I was thinking more like my best,” she drawled, then stopped all conversation. Her mouth had better things to do than talk.
She mapped him with her lips, kissing a path down to his chest, dragging over the hair-roughened skin stretched across his muscled chest. With an experimental bite, she toyed with his nipples, thrilled to find him sensitive to her teasing ministrations.
From one to another, she tormented him the way he had done to her until he let out a low, aroused groan and grabbed her hair in a needy fist again.
“Sweetheart . . . Okay, you gotta ease up. Let me touch you.”
Shealyn got the feeling that, like everything else in his life, he was used to giving his all to others because he was so noble. Because that was the kind of man he’d grown into. But he wasn’t used to others giving back to him selflessly.
She didn’t want to be like everyone else in his life.
“Soon,” she promised vaguely. “I’m almost done, but I haven’t given you my best quite yet.”
Determined to give him even half the pleasure he’d bestowed on her, she feathered her lips down his abdomen and curled up against the side of his body, her breasts to his ribs. She shimmied down and took a playful bite out of his hipbone, trailed a finger around his navel, just breathing him in. The musky, testosterone-laden scent pouring off him made her tremble.