Kitty Kitty Bang Bang

by Sparkle Abby

  I smiled affectionately. “He really isn’t a velvet kinda guy. I love the top hat. Nice choice.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I could see Grey Donovan, my fiancé of two years, heading in our direction. Kimber must have noticed, too; she immediately looked uncomfortable.

  To the outside world, Grey’s and my relationship was seen as a tad unorthodox. We were the on-again, off-again type. Presently, we were “on.”

  “Ah, I see you’re not alone. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed.

  “You’re welcome. Stop by Bow Wow when you get a chance. I have the perfect sweater-vest for Noodles.”

  Kimber and her pug disappeared into the crowd just as Grey arrived.

  “Caro and Diana organized a great event.” He handed me a glass of pinot noir. He looked amazing in his black tux. But then, he always looked good.

  Missy sniffed his pant leg, double-checking he hadn’t stepped out on her. He bent down and gave her some love. She snorted happily, lapping up Grey’s affection. I knew exactly how she felt.

  I took a sip of wine, appreciating the black-pepper finish. I snagged us each a tomato and goat cheese tart from a passing waiter (he was out of pigs-in-a-blanket, Missy’s favorite).

  “I hate to break it to you, but it’s the Dallas upbringing. Every society girl knows how to throw a successful charity fundraiser by her eighteenth birthday.” I took a bite of the tart and sighed. Delicious. “But you’re right. It’s a fabulous evening.”

  Grey, an undercover FBI agent, worked white-collar crime—mostly art theft. He could be gone for two days or two months without a whisper of his well-being. I never knew if he was sipping espresso in Paris or being held hostage in a deserted warehouse in East LA.

  His decision to keep me completely in the dark of his activities—his way of protecting me—had finally pushed me to the breaking point. I’d realized if I had trouble dating Grey, our marriage could end up a disaster. So I’d called off the wedding (two months before the big day), causing a swirl of rumors and speculation.

  I swear, I’d tried to return the six-carat sapphire engagement ring that had belonged to his great-grandmother, but Grey had refused to accept it. He believed we could work it out. I really wanted him to be right.

  “To Caro and Diana. May the evening continue to be a howling success.” Grey lifted his glass, and I followed suit.

  We mingled with the other guests and made our way to the table of auction items. I spotted my cousin next to the open bar, schmoozing with a celebrity dog trainer who currently judged a TV reality pet show. I didn’t have to hear her southern drawl to know she’d used it to her advantage.

  She fooled a lot of people at first glance. She looked as soft as a hothouse wildflower, but inside she was all iron and grit.

  At the moment, Caro and I weren’t exactly speaking. Since our childhood, Caro had always saved something or someone. A few years ago that had included her ex-husband who deserved to rot behind prison walls instead.

  To this day, she continued to analyze how her marriage had fallen apart. I’d expressed my opinion (truth be told, it was unsolicited at the time, but that hadn’t stopped me), and Caro got her feelings hurt. We had words.

  I know I’m the one who should apologize first but, knowing me, my smartass mouth would probably make matters worse. Sometimes I’m better with dogs than people.

  Recently, I’d broken my vow of silence. Caro’s best friend, Diana Knight, a former movie star and one of Laguna’s resident celebrities, had been arrested for murder. In my experience, who better to deliver bad news than family?

  Luckily for Diana, she was one of Caro’s success stories. Caro had helped clear Diana of a bogus murder wrap and in the process had almost gotten herself killed. Thankfully, the police—and her quick thinking—had saved her.

  A slow smile tugged the corners of my mouth as I waited for my cousin to turn in my direction.

  Competition runs deep in the Montgomery blood, our mothers’ side of the family tree. Over the years, Caro had managed to intermittently suppress her competitiveness. I, on the other hand, let mine run free. Electrified with the sudden possibility of getting the best of my cousin, I grabbed Grey’s arm. “Let’s go say hi to Caro.”

  “No.” He didn’t even take his eye off the list of silent auction items.

  “Come on. You just said she did a great job.”

  “I’m not going to be a vehicle for you to flaunt that thing.” He flicked his auction list toward the gaudy, but sentimental, brooch pinned strategically to my gown.

  The pin was a family heirloom, a twenty-two karat gold basket filled with fruit made of precious gems. Rubies, diamonds, emeralds and topaz. You’d never know by looking at the garish thing that it was insured for more money than all four years of my Stanford college tuition.

  I adjusted the brooch. “It gives my little black dress something extra.”

  Grey’s green eyes softened. His gaze traveled from the bottom of my floor length, strapless, leather gown and ended at the gaudy heirloom.

  I felt the heat flood my checks and pretended his blatant appraisal didn’t make my knees weak.

  “Little is one description. Leave your cousin alone,” he said on a sigh.

  Poor Grey. He was my fiancé, but he was also Caro’s friend.

  “Grandma Tillie left the pin to me. I only retrieved what was rightfully mine.” Grandma was very specific in her will. The brooch was to go to her “favorite granddaughter.” That was me. Then again, Caro was just as convinced it was her.

  “You broke into Caro’s house and stole it,” he said.

  “Only after she’d marched into Bow Wow Boutique, in the middle of the day, and stole it from my purse in front of God and my customers.”

  He looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “So that makes breaking into her private safe okay?”

  I grimaced. There was a tingle of regret about my actions that day. It had taken a few tries to figure out the combination, but I had.

  Caro hadn’t used an easy-to-hack combination. No. She’d used something much more personal that only I could truly understand the significance of.

  When I thought about that, I felt like a traitor who deserved to be shot at twenty paces. So, I tried not to think about it.

  I was sure I’d pay for my transgression at some point.

  “Mel, do you want the brooch, or to make Carolina squirm?” Grey asked.

  “Is there a right or wrong answer?”

  “Yes.”

  I took another sip of wine, letting the warmth from the alcohol seep through me. I know it’s selfish, but I wanted both. Hey, at least I’m honest.

  Caro finally turned and caught my eye. I held back the urge to jump up and down. Instead, I lifted my wine glass in salute, making sure she could see I had on the brooch.

  She hesitated for a second, aware we were gossip prey. Like the southern lady she was, she returned the salute with an amused smile. We both knew she was plotting revenge. Game on, cousin. I’d have to find a better hiding place than my cookie jar.

  Grey shook his head in defeat and directed my attention to the banquet tables of donated items for the silent auction. There was one item that had me seriously contemplating going home for my credit card. An African safari. I sighed, knowing I was about to spend too much money, and I wasn’t even buzzed.

  “You’re doing the right thing,” Grey said.

  “I’ve always wanted to go on an African safari.”

  “I was talking about Caro.”

  “I do have some self-control.” I set my glass on the table and adjusted his bow tie. Not because it needed it. But because it was our first public appearance since the almost-wedding.

  “I just wanted her to see I had it,” I explained.

 
“I don’t always understand you two. Or why your friends encourage your harebrained competition.”

  I retrieved my glass with a shrug. “Because it’s harmless fun.”

  I scribbled an obscene dollar amount alongside my bidding number on the safari listing, knowing I’d bumped the mayor out of the playing field.

  Grey whistled softly. “Playing to win?”

  “Why else would I play?”

  “If I could have your attention,” Amelia Hudges, the ARL director, spoke into the microphone.

  Everyone turned expectantly in Amelia’s direction. I almost choked on my wine. Amelia looked like an over-the-top Bette Midler with her frizzed-out orange hair and heavily beaded gown. Good God. Had someone died and covered the mirrors in her house?

  “We’ve made some quick calculations after a few passes around the room.” She paced the stage in excitement. “Due to your generosity, the silent auction has already grossed an estimated two hundred fifty thousand dollars.” Amelia’s high-pitched twitter competed with resounding applause and excited barking.

  “Now it’s time to get serious.” She raised a freckled hand for silence. “We’re more than halfway to our goal of three hundred fifty thousand dollars. Listen to your heart, not your accountant. Open your wallets, and let’s start the live auction! Find your seats, everyone.”

  Grey, Missy and I ping-ponged through the noisy crowd and were the last of our group to arrive. We were about to sit when Tova Randall, a highly successful lingerie model who had just moved to town, called out my name.

  Everyone at our table watched as Tova bounced closer. It wasn’t her perfect pale complexion or her luxurious auburn hair that drew our attention. It was her blush-pink, silk-taffeta gown hugging her famous curves. Those same curves had paid for her thirteen million dollar home in the hills, down the street from Grey’s place.

  “Melinda Langston, you owe me fifteen hundred dollars,” she announced in a not-so-conversational tone.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  She was drunk. It was the only plausible explanation. I looked at our tablemates and shook my head apologetically.

  Unlike Tova, her Yorkiepoo loved me. And I loved Kiki in return. Her pink, mini-taffeta dress rustled as her tiny five-pound body wiggled in excitement. I reached down to pet the adorable dog. Kiki immediately rewarded me with enthusiastic kisses.

  Missy sniffed Tova’s pocket puppy in the universal dog greeting. Unimpressed, Missy crawled under the table, looking for a spot to nap.

  Tova gripped the diamond encrusted leash tighter, pulling Kiki closer to her. “You gave my baby fleas,” she huffed.

  Hells bells. What was she talking about?

  Yappy Hour Pupcakes

  (Served by Mel & Darby at their Yappy Hour event)

  You’ll need the following ingredients:

  2 carrots, grated

  2 ripe bananas, mashed

  1 egg

  3 cups water

  1/2 teaspoon vanilla

  2 tablespoons honey

  4 cups flour

  1 teaspoon baking powder

  1 teaspoon nutmeg

  1 teaspoon cinnamon

  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

  Line a cupcake tin with festive dog-themed cupcakes papers.

  Blend water, carrots, egg, vanilla and honey in a big bowl. Then add the mashed bananas.

  In another bowl, blend the flour, baking powder, nutmeg and cinnamon.

  Add the flour mix to the first (carrot/egg) mixture and blend them together thoroughly.

  Spoon the mixture into the cupcake papers.

  Bake the pupcakes for 30 minutes. Times can vary depending on your oven so it’s a good idea to test the pupcakes by inserting a toothpick in the middle. If it comes out clean, your pupcakes are done.

  Frosting is optional, but if you want to add frosting here’s a quick idea.

  2 tablespoons plain yogurt

  2 tablespoons honey

  1 package (6 oz.) cream cheese

  Mix the ingredients together until smooth, frost the cooled pupcakes, and serve.

  Caro’s Homemade Kitty Cookies

  This recipe uses shredded chicken (don’t tell Walter) but you can use beef or fish, if your cat prefers it.

  You’ll need the following ingredients:

  1-1/2 cups of cooked chicken, shredded into small pieces

  1 cup of whole wheat flour

  1/2 cup of chicken broth

  1/3 cup of cornmeal

  1 teaspoon of margarine, softened

  Preheat your oven to 350 degrees

  Mix the chicken, margarine, and chicken broth in a bowl. Then add the cornmeal and flour.

  Knead the dough into a ball and roll it out to about 1/4 inch in thickness.

  Cut into one inch pieces and place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes and let cool.

  This recipe makes 18-24 cookies.

  Remember, these treats contain no preservatives and so unlike commercial treats, you need to make sure to store them with that in mind.

  Caro recommends refrigerating unused portions and labeling them with the date they were made.

  Acknowledgements

  As always, a big thank-you to our families for their sacrifices. We know you love us because you give so much so we can pursue our dreams.

  Also, a huge thanks to our writing families. Our critique group, IRN, PAL of Central Iowa, Sisters in Crime, Mystery Writers of America, the Kiss of Death, RWA, and the many supportive online groups.

  We are constantly awed by the supportive team at Bell Bridge Books. You are awesome to work with and it goes without saying these are better books and we are better writers because of your efforts.

  And, finally, to our readers. You rock! Your notes, your emails, your comments. We are so blessed to hear from so many of you and it makes it all worthwhile.

  We love to hear about your pets, we love to hear from you! Thank-you for taking the time to write to us.

  ML & Anita aka Sparkle Abbey

  www.SparkleAbbey.com

  About The Authors

  Sparkle Abbey is the pseudonym of two mystery authors (Mary Lee Woods and Anita Carter). They are friends and neighbors as well as co-writers of the Pampered Pets Mystery Series. The pen name was created by combining the names of their rescue pets – Sparkle (Mary Lee’s cat) and Abbey (Anita’s dog). They reside in central Iowa, but if they could write anywhere, you would find them on the beach with their laptops and depending on the time of day, with either an iced tea or a margarita.

  Mary Lee

  Mary Lee Salsbury Woods is the “Sparkle” half of Sparkle Abbey. She is past-president of Sisters in Crime – Iowa and a member of Mystery Writers of America, Romance Writers of America, Kiss of Death, the RWA Mystery Suspense chapter, Sisters in Crime, and the SinC internet group Guppies.

  Prior to publishing the Pampered Pet Mystery series with Bell Bridge Books, Mary Lee won first place in the Daphne du Maurier contest, sponsored by the Kiss of Death chapter of RWA, and was a finalist in Murder in the Grove’s mystery contest, as well as Killer Nashville’s Claymore Dagger contest.

  Mary Lee is an avid reader and supporter of public libraries. She lives in Central Iowa with her husband, Tim, and Sparkle the rescue cat namesake of Sparkle Abbey. In her day job she is the non-techie in the IT Department. Any spare time she spends reading and enjoying her sons and daughter-in-laws, and four grandchildren.

  Anita

  Anita Carter is the “Abbey” half of Sparkle Abbey. She is president of Sisters in Crime – Iowa and a member of Mystery Writers of America, Romance Writers of America, Kiss of Death, the RWA Mystery Suspense chapter, and Sisters in Crime.

  She grew up reading Trixie Belden, Nan
cy Drew and the Margo Mystery series by Jerry B Jenkins (years before his popular Left Behind Series.) Her family is grateful all the years of “fending for yourself” dinners of spaghetti and frozen pizza have finally paid off, even though they haven’t exactly stopped.

  In Anita’s day job, she works for a staffing company. She also lives in Central Iowa with her husband and four children, son-in-law, grandchild and three rescue dogs, Abby, Chewy and Sophie.