by Avery Rae
"What do you mean?" I asked, despite already knowing the answer.
"He was banished to the Earthen realm. Forever. Not that it upset him much. I loved him, but he was weak. Even I'm too weak for that crown. If you've come to ask me to take it, I will not."
Everything inside me shattered in an instant. "Berith—"
She held up a hand. "I will remove that crown one last time. But it will be left on that throne, unworn. I know Samael is desperate to bring order to Hell, but he's gone astray. That crown should be left abandoned."
"I don't care what Samael wants. I just want Hazel out of that palace."
Her eyes narrowed, studying me. "You know that she'll be banished from here? If she were to ever die, her soul will undoubtedly be stuck in the Earth-side. Wandering forever. Never finding peace."
"She doesn't want that crown. I know it."
"Nobody should." She sat back in her chair. "How long has she been wearing it?"
"Several hours."
"Then she's not lost. Yet. Meet me at the front gates. I'll ready my soldiers and be there soon."
"Soldiers?" Gael asked. "Why?"
Berith smiled a feral smile. "She might not want the crown, but it'll want her. If you think we're just strolling in there when Hell can sense we're plotting against it, you're wrong."
I looked over at Gael and Priscilla. "Remind me to kick Samael in the teeth next time I see him."
Priscilla nodded. "You're telling me. I've got some words for him myself."
As Berith got to her feet, she said, "Go easy on him. I assure you, he did this with the best intentions for everyone. But at some point, he needs to learn that he can't be the one who fixes everything."
27
Hazel
I tried to take the crown off and it burned me. I looked down at my aching hands, one longer than the other, fingers curled and extended into horrible claws. Why was this happening to me? It felt like something was furious with me. It was torturing me.
This is your home now, it whispered.
My eyes rolled up toward the crown. Was it talking to me? All the anger I had felt before seemed tame next to the fury coming from this band around my head. And it was tight, so tight. As if it wanted to assure me I was wholly screwed.
"You tricked me into thinking I wanted you," I whispered.
It's not my fault you were naive and desperate for someone to take control, the voice from before whispered back. You say you want it, yet you cower and submit.
"Who are you?" I asked, my voice shaking. "What are you?"
There was silence for a moment. Long enough that I began to doubt whether I had really been talking to the crown or not. Ever since I arrived at this palace, it was as if I slowly started to lose my mind. I could hardly think straight.
Finally, the voice echoed through my mind, saying, I'm the cries of millions of tortured souls. I'm pain, misery, and regret. I am Hell.
I jumped at a sudden boom from outside the palace. I wasn't the only one surprised. The crown was, too. I clenched my eyes shut and began to search, trying to feel for what was going on. The crown raced against me, searching harder and faster. I knew it got there before me, because it slammed me out of my own search.
"Who is it?" I demanded as my heart pounded wildly. "Who's out there?"
Shut up, it whispered back. I let out a cry as my body contorted even more. I gasped as my spine cracked and I hunched over.
I looked down and whispered, "No, no, no," at the sight of my other arm elongating, fingers curling into yellowed claws. The voice inside me cackled as it wrestled for more control. I couldn't fight. I was too horrified by what I was becoming.
The noises outside grew louder. Shouting. Metal clanging. The castle rumbled all around me. I sank down to the steps of the throne, growing weak as the crown tightened around my skull, biting into my skin. It was taking over. I wondered if I would soon be the voice speaking in its mind. Gone, reduced to nothing except a vector for this thing to communicate through.
The door to the throne room flew open. Battered and bloodied, Edwin strode inside. Although I was happy to see him, I couldn't even react. I was too weak. The moment he caught sight of me sprawled out on the steps, he raced toward me.
"Hazel, babe, I'm so sorry. I promised I would protect you. And I messed up so bad." Edwin moved to the edge of the steps, hand extended and expression pained.
"No, don't touch me." I tried to move away, but I couldn't. "It's turning me into a—a beast."
He kept moving closer. Why? I was horrible-looking. I was a monster meant to be locked in here forever. My outside was finally reflecting my inside, and I knew it all too well.
"What're you talking about?" Edwin asked. "What's it done?"
I looked up at him. "C-can't you see? My arms . . ."
Edwin took my hands in his. Surprise jolted through me when I saw that my hands were completely normal once more.
"Edwin," I whispered, hoping that I wouldn't be overheard, "I think Hell is . . . is mad at me for not wanting it."
I jerked away from Edwin as the doors suddenly swung open once more. When a scarred woman strode inside, my upper lip curled back.
"You," I growled out. I didn't even know who she was but seeing her made me so angry I could have screamed.
She sheathed her long, massive sword, and I let out a rumbling laugh that wasn't my own.
"You think you won't need that? This girl is different." With wide eyes, I clapped a hand to my mouth, but I couldn't control it. My hand fell back to my side as the voice continued to come from my mouth. "She has powers that angel could've only dreamed of. She can move mountains in Hell. Mountains, Berith."
I looked over at Edwin, my panic rising. Something made me look away. I will not be betrayed again, girl. Forget him. We are one now, the crown said in my mind, laughing all the while. In the corner of my thoughts, hidden away from the prying eyes inside me, I knew that it had made a mistake. I saw the fury in Edwin's eyes before he moved. In the next moment, I crashed to the ground with Edwin on top of me.
"Get it off her, Berith!" he shouted.
Whatever was inside me raged uncontrollably, devolving into hisses and screams. But then it calmed as Berith knelt beside us. The palace began to rumble wildly beneath me. It wasn't calm. It was focusing. No.
"Watch out!" I cried.
Both Berith and Edwin were knocked aside as molten lava burst through the stone floor. My body rose of its own accord, slowly walking up the steps to the throne. As the beast inside me surveyed the pooling lava all around us, I frantically tried to find Edwin. Relief washed through me when I saw he was in the clear—although the voice inside me ensured it wouldn't be for long.
And so I fought. As we wrestled for control of my powers, powers I barely even understood yet, Edwin and Berith slowly began to stir. Through the doors, soldiers began to pour inside, narrowly dodging the growing pool of lava. Do not fight me, the voice whispered harshly.
Arms encircled me suddenly. Edwin.
"I'm sorry, but even if I knew it was the best thing for you, I couldn't kill you." He hugged me tighter. "Call me selfish, but even if I can't be with you, I don't want to exist if you don't."
I pulled my head back to look up at him. "What do you mean?"
"I love you more than I could ever put into words." He cupped my cheek and captured my lips in a tender, sweet kiss. Despite my confusion, I tilted my head up and let myself ease into his kiss. It was as if he was kissing away all my worries and pain.
Suddenly, my head felt lighter. There was pure, unfiltered silence. All the pained whispers disappeared. I pulled back and saw the sadness in Edwin's eyes. I reached up to feel my head just as I heard the crown clang against the throne. I looked to the side to see Berith grimacing and staring down at her hands, where deep burn marks were slowly starting to heal.
"What's happening?" I asked, bewildered.
"I'm sorry I ever brought you here. I thought I was doing the right thing. I swear
to you. For once in my life, I just wanted . . ." He clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Never mind that. Just promise me that you'll stay safe. Disappear. No more Druids. Okay?"
"What do you mean?" My words were more rushed now. "Tell me what you mean, Edwin."
"Your life is yours now. You're free from all of this. Forever. No more demons or angels coming after you, trying to alter your life. You won't be useful to them anymore. Not now that you can't get into Hell."
"Why? I don't understand."
"Hell's about to kick you out like a spurned lover, only it won't take you back. Hide, okay? Don't let anybody know where you are. Just take that money of yours and run for it."
That was when I felt it. The faint tug. "Wait, what about you?"
He brushed his fingers along the side of my face and smiled. "Just remember that I love you, but don't forget to live a good life. Alright, babe? Remember that. I love you."
"Edwin, please, don't do this to me again."
"It's too late. I'm sorry."
And then he was gone. Or I was. The world around me shifted so fast I couldn't see what was happening, then I was in the alleyway. I turned around to see a swirling orange portal behind me. I ran for it. But I was met with a bare concrete wall. I banged my fist against it.
"Edwin!" I shouted. "Please!"
When nothing happened, I pressed my face up against the worn, roughened wall as tears fell from my eyes. I love you, too.
28
Hazel
Three weeks had passed since my life as I knew it had ended. Even though it had been hard, I listened to Edwin's advice and disappeared. I mostly listened, that was. Even though it risked Abby or someone else finding their way to me, I left a note for Edwin in the alley where the portal was. A single slip of floral stationary, hidden just well enough to hopefully avoid the wrong eyes.
I'd been staying in a hotel the next city over, searching for a new place. I meant to leave the hotel a week ago, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had been hoping against hope each day that I would open the door of my hotel room and see Edwin there. For the first week, my heart went crazy each time I got a knock on the door, even when I'd been expecting room service. And the disappointment I felt? Insurmountable.
I couldn't accept that our final goodbye had happened when I had Hell personified whispering in my mind. It was wrong. And God, for all my complaining about not getting to see him enough, I would have given anything to turn back time and go back to seeing him once in a while.
"Good evening, Miss," the hotel's front desk clerk greeted me as I stepped inside. I'd been out apartment hunting again. Despite the fact that I had once crammed myself into a leaky, tiny old apartment, I managed to find something wrong with each of them.
"Evening," I said in reply as I headed for the elevator.
"Oh, Miss!" the front desk clerk called out behind me.
I turned around, a confused half-smile in place. "Yes?"
"Someone came by looking for you."
"Did you get a name?" I asked slowly, trying to prevent my excitable heart from getting too worked up.
"No, unfortunately." The clerk scratched at the side of his perfectly coiffed hair. "She was quite irate with me when I wouldn't let her know if you were here or not, but policy and all. Nothing to be worried about, is it?"
Abby came to mind and I froze. "What did she look like?"
"Dark hair and built like one of those women that wrestles. Ring any bells?"
Something hopeful burst to life inside me. "Yeah, it does. There's nothing to worry about. She's just a friend."
I immediately turned around and started heading toward the door once more.
The clerk chuckled. "Leaving so soon?"
"Thank you!" I said over my shoulder as I burst through the doors and out onto the street. It took flagging down more than two cabs, but I finally found one willing to drive me to my old stomping grounds. It was dark by the time we reached the townhouse, but that didn't stop me from rushing down the alley nearby without a care in the world. That was where I had left my note, because I was fairly certain it was where they traveled from.
A shadowed form shifted at the end of the alley, and my heart jolted with excitement. "Priscilla? Why didn't you wait at the hotel for me?"
I was already almost there when I realized that I couldn't see the glow of her reddish-orange eyes. Did getting kicked out of Hell change my ability to see them?
"Priscilla?" I repeated, stopping in my tracks.
"Your parents would be so ashamed of you," the shadow responded. No. Please, no. "And your poor sister. Can you imagine what she would say?"
"Abby?" Her name emerged from my lips on a trembling breath. She didn't have to reveal her face. I would know the voice of my former best friend from anyone. "Don't do this. You don't know what you're really doing. We've been so wrong, Abby. All of our teachings—"
"I'm not going to listen to a word you say, traitor," Abby seethed from the darkness. "What did you do to Nathaniel? Why hasn't he come back to me?"
"You can't be serious. I didn't do anything to Nathaniel."
"I've been coming here every night, just waiting for him to appear again. But he hasn't."
"Abby, he's not coming back."
I moved closer and finally saw the sneer on her shadowed face. This was someone else. It had to be. My friend wasn't this cruel, was she? Or did I just never really know her?
"He must miss me," she insisted.
"He barely knew you."
Abby scoffed. "You're just jealous."
"I'm really not," I replied, shoving a hand through my hair with a sigh. "You have no idea what I've been through. Trust me, we're not like that."
"Oh, boohoo, you had to finally put up or shut up for the balance and you couldn't handle it. Poor thing."
"Abby, please stop. You sound like such an idiot."
"Go screw yourself, traitorous bitch."
"That doesn't make you sound any smarter," I said under my breath before continuing. "Look, just get out of here. Nathaniel's not coming back for you."
"Why are you here? Taking another trip through the wall?"
"What're you talking about?" I paused, wondering how she even knew to wait here for Nathaniel.
"I saw everything," she hissed. There it was. She must've followed that day when Edwin brought me down to Hell. I was fairly certain that he used the portal here.
"You really think you saw me go through a wall? Come on, Abby, you're losing it." I cringed internally. She was being a real piece of work right now, and she did try to help get me killed, but that didn't mean I liked lying to her. Although, at this point, I was convinced that would just be my life. Lie after lie to keep myself safe. I'd made my peace with it. As long as I was living the life I truly wanted. Not that I was yet. But I was getting close.
"You're not fooling me."
My eyes widened slightly as a swirling orange portal opened behind her. I couldn't help but shout, "Abby, watch out!"
She was giving me a nasty look one moment, then being knocked down on her face in the next. She let out an agonized cry as a disoriented demon woman picked herself up. She straightened her clothes, then smoothed the flyaway hairs back into her tight bun. I recognized her from when I took the crown. Cherry, maybe? Sherry?
"I'm never gonna get used to that," the demon said with a laugh. "It's such a trip. Pun intended."
"Where the fuck did you come from?" Abby asked as she got to her feet, pinching a bloody nose.
"Hell, sweetheart. Now, get outta the way, would you?"
"You can't just go around saying that," I whispered, despite the smile on my face. This was someone who could put me into contact with Edwin. How could I not be happy?
"Nobody's gonna believe her if she talks about it." She suddenly put a hand on Abby's shoulder and ushered her forward. When Abby resisted, she gave her a stern look. "You need to move, hon, or you're gonna lose that nose of yours." She gave her a hard shove and an even big
ger smile. "There we go."
A second later, Amberlynn jumped through the portal, followed by Priscilla rolling out with Gael behind her. Amberlynn slung her arm around the woman who first arrived and lifted a brow. "Cheri, what did you do to that poor Druid girl?"
"Why do you assume it was me?" She lifted her nose. "I was a white-collar criminal. I told you, violence isn't my game." She looked at Abby with pursed lips. "Not on purpose, at least."
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked. "Is Edwin . . . ?"
Priscilla approached me with a soft smile. "We're trying to convince him."
"He doesn't want to come?" I hoped I didn't look as crestfallen as I felt. It wasn't their fault that he didn't want me anymore. I wouldn't either after seeing what happened to me when I put that crown on my head. Even the fact that I had done it in the first place. I should've turned away the moment I realized I would have to give him up. And I didn't.
Amberlynn suddenly pushed past Priscilla and lightly smacked me on the cheek. "Knock that off."
I jerked my head back, confused. "What's your problem?"
"All you whiny people are the problem." She scowled. "Do you really think we'd be trying to convince him if he didn't want your weird ass?"
"Then why won't he come to me?"
"Because he's also a whiny person and thinks that he's the whole reason why everything happened to you." Amberlynn scoffed and folded her arms across her chest. "I tried telling him only some of it was his fault, but y'know . . ."
Priscilla gave her a flat look, which Gael shared. "Yeah," she said, "because telling people they're only part of the problem makes it so much better."
Amberlynn shrugged. "Shared burden, I figure. We're all a little at fault. But mostly Samael."
Cheri batted her on the shoulder. "Stop making people feel bad, you heathen. Samael thought he was doing the right thing. We all did."
Amberlynn scowled. "You weren't even supposed to be involved."
"Oh, get over yourself."
Amberlynn tugged her in close. "Why don't you let me get all over you?"