by Jo Carnegie
‘Camilla, I haven’t been honest with you. But it’s all right now, I can explain.’
She jumped down from her vehicle. Wild possibilities whirled through her mind. The nice suit, the spruced-up appearance: had he been off in some five-star hotel with Sophia? Instinctively, she looked for another car following, but there was none. She faced him, trying to contain the anger and shock.
‘Have you just spent the night with Sophia?’
Jed looked pained. ‘Camilla, please don’t start this again. I’ve told you. Of course there’s nothing going on with her.’
Her voice was shaking now. ‘So you keep telling me, Jed. But I can tell you, from where I’m standing it doesn’t look that way at all. You’re hiding something from me and I know it. Just tell me.’
He dropped his eyes, face paler than ever. ‘I’ve made a right cock-up of this.’
‘That’s one way of putting it!’
Jed stepped forward and gripped Camilla’s hands so tightly it hurt. She gasped in surprise. ‘I see what you must have thought; I understand that now. But I was so wrapped up in it, I thought it was the best thing not to tell you. I thought I could handle it by myself, shield you from it.’
‘Jed, what on earth are you talking about?’
He dropped her hands abruptly, stepped away. ‘I found a lump, Camilla.’
His statement was so shocking, so unexpected, that it completely blindsided her.
‘A lump?’ she stuttered.
A vein throbbed in his forehead, indicting high stress. ‘In my right testicle. I found it weeks ago, when I was having a shower one morning.’
The realization of what he was saying started to dawn on Camilla. ‘Oh, Jed, no,’ she whispered. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’
His jaw clenched. ‘Because I didn’t want to admit it to myself! I was scared of going to the doctor’s, scared of what I might find, so like a stupid idiot I buried my head in the sand. I thought if I didn’t think about it, it didn’t exist.’ He gave a humourless laugh. ‘Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that.’
Camilla’s mind was racing. Jed’s weight loss, him complaining of being tired when normally he was as strong as an ox. It was too dreadful to contemplate.
His voice was toneless and void of emotion. ‘I couldn’t ignore it, no matter how hard I tried to, so eventually I went to the doctor. He took one look and said it didn’t look good, not with my family history.’
Camilla felt sick, Both Jed’s grandfather and his aunt had died of cancer. She couldn’t believe this was happening, not to her Jed! He was so strong, so healthy. It seemed like a horrible joke.
‘It all happened so quickly. The doctor did blood tests and then I was referred to the hospital for urgent X-rays. I’ve had to take quite a bit of time off work.’
So that was what Jed’s mysterious appointment had been about.
‘But you and Sophia …’
Jed sighed again.
‘I haven’t been having an affair with her, Cam. Sophia came into my office one morning when I wasn’t there and found a letter from the hospital on my desk. She was waiting for me when I got back. At first I was furious she’d been going through my things, but she said she’d only picked it up because she recognized the consultant’s name on the top of the letter.’
Jed paused.
‘It turned out she’d had a cousin who had been through exactly the same thing. Sophia said she knew how I felt. I didn’t want anyone knowing but she said she wouldn’t say anything.’
Camilla felt a burn of jealousy that Sophia had been there for Jed and not her. He sensed it from her face.
‘I didn’t go looking for sympathy from her,’ he said quickly. ‘Sophia was the one popping in to see me, leaving me little notes. To be honest it made me feel a bit awkward, but I only thought she was being nice. She called me last night to wish me luck at the hospital, but I swear we’ve never spoken on the phone before that.’
Relief started to seep through Camilla. She knew he was telling the truth.
‘Jed, I can’t believe you’ve gone through all this by yourself!’
Her voice cracked.
‘Why didn’t you just tell me?’
He ran a hand over his face.
‘Cam, I’ve handled this whole thing so badly. I was so wrapped up in myself; I never stopped to consider how you would see it. The stupid thing is I thought I was protecting you, by not telling you the truth. And my ma.’
This time it was Jed’s voice that went.
‘I’m all she’s got.’
Tears spilled out of Camilla’s eyes. ‘Oh, Jed,’ she sobbed. The lack of interest in sex, his cagey behaviour. It all fell into place now. All along she’d been thinking he’d been losing interest, or having an affair with Sophia Highforth. What a waste of precious time and energy.
Jed swallowed. ‘That’s where I’ve been today, seeing the urology specialist at the hospital. Today was D-Day, Camilla. To find out whether the lump was cancerous or not.’
She could hardly bear to hear his answer.
Jed stared at her, eyes channelling on to hers, searching, haunted. ‘It’s benign.’
For a moment Camilla didn’t understand. ‘Benign?’
‘Yes, benign. As in non-malignant.’ Jed’s face relaxed into a smile. ‘I haven’t got cancer.’
Her knees literally buckled in relief. Camilla flung her arms around him. ‘Oh, thank God!’ she wept. ‘Thank God!’
Jed held her tightly, and together they stood for a minute, just taking the news in. Finally he released her.
‘I couldn’t believe it myself when the specialist told me,’ he said in a shaky voice, ‘I still can’t, really. I had literally convinced myself that that was it. I was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it.’ He shook his head as if in wonderment. ‘He had to repeat the results about five times. Apparently it’s a harmless cyst. After all that, a bloody cyst! It’s causing no harm being there, so they’re going to leave it. I’ve got to keep checking myself regularly from now on for any changes, but that’s about it.’
‘I need to sit down,’ Camilla said weakly. The last five minutes had been the most terrifying and happy of her life. She sank down beside the car, Jed crouching in front of her. ‘I thought you were having an affair with Sophia!’ she told him. Camilla shook her head, exasperated. ‘You had me acting like a nutcase! I really thought something was going on, Jed.’
He held her to him. ‘I’m sorry. I handled it so badly, but it was the only way I could handle it. Please believe me.’
Camilla nestled into him. ‘None of it matters now. All I care about is that you’re going to be all right. Jed, I love you so much …’
Calypso was shocked. ‘He thought he had cancer? Bills, that’s terrible!’
‘I know. But instead of saying anything, Jed kept it to himself. I can’t bear to think how he must have felt.’
‘That sounds like Jed, I suppose, soldiering on by himself.’ Calypso winced. ‘So my parting shot about ripping his balls off if he messed you about probably wasn’t the best thing to say.’
‘You weren’t to know,’ Camilla said kindly.
‘All the same, I’d like to say sorry. Is he upstairs?’
‘Yes, I’ve sent him to bed for the day. Poor man is exhausted.’
Calypso climbed the stairs and knocked on their bedroom door. Jed answered immediately.
‘Come in.’
She pushed the door open. Jed was sitting up in bed, surrounded by magazines and books. A jug of water with fresh lemon slices in it was sitting on the bedside drawer.
‘This all looks very pleasant,’ she remarked.
Jed smiled. ‘Camilla seems to think I need some rest.’
‘I think Camilla is probably right,’ Calypso said. She sat down on the bed and shook her head, smiling. ‘You’re a dick. Why didn’t you say something?’
‘I’ve had just about as many conversations about dicks and balls as I can handle, if th
at’s OK.’
‘Shit, sorry.’ Calypso paused. ‘Look, you had your reasons for doing what you did, and I do understand that. I just wanted to say, you know, sorry for accusing you of shagging Sophia Highforth.’
He gave a nod. ‘Apology accepted. I didn’t exactly inspire confidence in you.’
‘Well, that’s water under the bridge now.’ Calypso leaned across and kissed him on the cheek. ‘I’m really pleased you’re OK, Jed.’
‘Get away with you,’ he smiled as she got up and made for the door.
‘See you later?’
‘Not if I see you first …’ he teased.
As she left the room Jed’s smile faded abruptly. Face darkening, he turned to stare out of the window.
Chapter 44
AN ANNOUNCEMENT HAD caused much commotion in the film industry. Sophia Highforth was parting ways with her manager Gordon Goldsmith and employing the services of his brother Stevie instead. The Goldsmith brothers’ rivalry was well known and the story made the entertainment pages of several of the dailies. It was one of these newspapers that Katie the dresser found Sophia reading, when she entered her Winnebago early one morning.
‘Katie, hello!’ Sophia gushed over the top of it. ‘I’m just reading about myself in yet another newspaper. Can you believe everyone is making such a big fuss about it?’
From the smug look on her face, Sophia could indeed believe the hype.
‘How did Gordon take it?’ Katie asked.
‘Went completely ballistic, as you can imagine. Threatened breach of contract and all that, but I’m confident my lawyers can come to some arrangement. Stevie just understands me, you know? He is going to take me to even greater places in my career!’
That’s who she was on the phone to that time, Katie thought.
‘So when you told me you had a special chemistry with someone, you didn’t mean that hot estate manager?’ she asked innocently.
Sophia’s face fell, then she regained her composure. ‘Oh him. He was madly in love with me, of course, but I found it rather off-putting. I had to let him down gently.’
Katie stifled a smile. It had become patently obvious to anyone but Sophia that the bloke wasn’t interested. ‘He must have been devastated,’ she remarked cheerfully.
Sophia flushed. ‘Well, of course he was.’ She shot Katie a look. ‘You ask far too many questions. Anyway, is that my dress? You’ve taken far too long to finish it, as usual. I thought I’d have to do my scene naked.’
Bearing in mind Sophia had flung the gown at Katie at midnight, ordering alterations, Katie thought she’d done a pretty good job.
‘Come on, then,’ Sophia said irritably. ‘I haven’t got much time.’
Enough time to read about yourself in the newspapers, thought Katie as she hoiked Sophia back into the dress.
Calypso fingered the Eurostar tickets happily. What better way to start their holiday on the French Riviera than a three-day stop in Paris, the most romantic city in the world? Rafe was going to be over the moon when she gave them to him. Calypso had gone ahead and taken the liberty of booking it all anyway, Rafe kept saying how much he needed a holiday.
With her contacts, Calypso had managed to get them into one of the most exclusive hotels in Paris. Rafe’s name would have been enough anyway, but she wanted to show him she was just as capable of calling the shots. They’d got the penthouse suite, and Calypso imagined lazy days wandering the streets and passion-filled nights screwing each other’s brains out. It was going to be perfect.
Calypso looked at her watch. It was 5 p.m. ‘Sod it,’ she said aloud, ‘I’m going to go down there now and surprise him.’ Rafe had always asked her to stay away from the set because he didn’t want to start the gossipy crew chattering but Calypso figured it was so near the end of filming it didn’t matter. They’d be coming ‘out’ as a couple soon, anyway.
‘Just popping out, Granny Clem!’ she yelled. Five minutes later she was approaching the film set, where they seemed to be doing some sort of fight scene with two of the supporting cast members. Rafe was nowhere to be seen. A chunky security man stopped her and asked where she was going.
‘I’m going to see Rafe Wolfe. I’m a friend of his.’
‘You can’t just walk in. You need permission.’
‘How about you’re filming on my grandmother’s land?’ Calypso said testily.
‘You can verify that?’
‘Not unless you want to go and ask her yourself. I warn you, though, she’s quite moody round this time of day.’
The man’s face relaxed. ‘Sorry, love, we’ve got to be careful. Second Winnebago on the left.’
‘Cheers,’ said Calypso and walked off.
The Winnebago was quiet as she approached, curtains pulled across the windows. Maybe he was having a sleep. Calypso knocked softly on the door. ‘Rafe?’ She pushed it open slowly. The van was dark inside, the air rather stuffy, like walking into a person’s bedroom first thing in the morning. ‘Rafe?’ she said again. She was standing in a little kitchen area, which led out to a bigger area on the right. Calypso turned, smiling, expecting to see Rafe fast asleep and looking cute on the sofa bed.
Instead she saw his head between the legs of a skinny brunette. One look at the woman panting in ecstasy and Calypso knew this was no dress rehearsal.
Chapter 45
THE WOMAN NOTICED her first.
‘Oh my God!’ she cried in an American accent, grabbing a cushion to cover herself. Rafe looked up, surprised. His tanned face went ashen.
Calypso was so shocked she couldn’t speak for a few moments. ‘What the fuck is going on?’
Rafe stood up and hastily did his trousers up. He was topless, his brown torso sweaty, blond hair tousled by having long talons run through it.
Calypso looked at the brunette, who had covered her modesty up in a silk robe, and then back to Rafe. His eyes dropped away. ‘Rafe?’ Calypso tried to make him look at her. ‘I said what’s going on? Who is she?’
The brunette swung her long legs and got up. Even though she was half-naked, Calypso could smell the money on her: from the expensively styled hair to the diamonds glinting at her ears and neck.
The brunette put a possessive hand on Rafe’s shoulder. ‘I might ask the same question. Who is she, Rafe? Another one of your location conquests?’
He stared at the floor and the brunette laughed. It wasn’t a nice sound.
‘God, you’re so predictable! I suppose he hasn’t told you about me, I’m Daphne Winters. Rafe’s fiancée.’
His fiancée!
Calypso’s knees almost buckled underneath her. ‘Rafe, what’s she talking about?’ She looked at him desperately, waiting for him to tell her it was all a horrible misunderstanding.
Daphne spoke instead. ‘It hasn’t been announced yet, but we’re getting married next summer. Five hundred of our closest friends and family. It’s going to be some party.’
Calypso fought back the tears, there was no way she was going to cry in front of them!
Daphne smiled patronizingly. ‘There, there. At least you can pretend in your sad little world that you did mean something to Rafe.’ Her eyes travelled over Calypso’s denim miniskirt and vest, hair scraped back in a messy ponytail. ‘He always does go for someone like you. I suppose when you’ve got steak at home, sometimes you fancy popping out for a hamburger.’
Calypso’s fighting spirit flickered alive. ‘With all that Botox I’m surprised Rafe can tell if you’re dead or alive.’
Daphne’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘Rafe, she can’t speak to me like that!’ she snapped.
‘Forget it, I’m out of here.’ Calypso chucked the tickets on the table.
Rafe looked at the tickets, speaking for the first time. ‘What are those?’
‘Tickets, for a romantic break in Paris. Why don’t you save them for your next conquest? Daphne here obviously has so little self-respect, I’m sure she won’t mind.’ Calypso turned and strode out of the Winnebago.
> The brave front didn’t last long. As soon as she was clear of the film set, the tears started coming thick and fast. She’d been so stupid! She should have seen the signs before, the phone calls from his supposed manager, the fact that Rafe had been so funny about them going out in public, Daphne’s words came back to her:
‘He always does go for someone like you.’
How many had there been? Calypso almost gagged. How many more, that he’d taken in with his humble manner and chivalrous act? He was a big fake and he’d conned her. From the sound of it, she wasn’t the first one.
She started running, she had to get as far away as she could from Daphne and the man she thought she’d loved. The rug had been pulled from underneath her, her whole world re-written. There was only one person she wanted to see now. A few minutes later she ran into the kitchen at Fairoaks, mascara running and chest heaving.
‘Oh, Granny Clem! I’ve just found Rafe with another woman!’
Once Calypso had stopped sobbing, she told her grandmother the whole sorry story. ‘I should have listened to my instincts in the first place!’
Clementine smoothed her hair. ‘You weren’t to know, darling. He really did come across as a thoroughly decent chap.’
‘I really loved him, you know. I thought we could build a life together.’ Calypso burst into fresh floods of tears. ‘How could I be so wrong about someone?’
Clementine’s gaze darkened, as distant memories flooded her brain. ‘We’ve all misjudged someone, darling. I know you feel dreadfully let down, but you must take strength from this and move on.’
Clementine held her granddaughter long into the evening. When Calypso asked if she could stay the night and share her bed, just as she had done when she was little, Clementine readily agreed. As Calypso finally dropped off to sleep, Clementine lay listening to the rhythm of her granddaughter’s breathing. She herself had been taken in by Rafe. How could he treat her precious Calypso so appallingly?