“Come closer, my dear, so that I can see you clearly.”
On unsure legs, she did as asked, moving around the bed to his side. Her heart hammered against her ribs, reminding her once again that this was not right. She patted his hand, not really wanting to touch him so personal, but he clasped her fingers with his.
“Catherine? Are you happy here?”
She hesitated in answering. Was she? Yes, she was happy – until she remembered she’d soon be his wife. But right now, somber would best describe her feelings.
“Of course, Grant. Your family is very kind to me. Your friends have given me a warm welcome tonight. How could I not be happy?”
“How is Nick treating you?”
Her mouth turned dry, yet her hands became moist. Memories from their brief kiss flowed through her mind. “Nick is slowly realizing I’ll be part of the family. When he first came to my house to get me, he was a little reserved, but he’s now coming to terms with our arrangement. A little while ago when we danced, he was very charming.”
Grant nodded. “Nick can put on a good appearance in public, but not to worry, he will soon understand why I have chosen you.”
She smiled, but during the next pause of silence, his gaze moved off her face, down her neck…and further. Her heart thumped in a fierce rhythm. The heated expression on his face changed him so drastically, almost as if she stood next to an entirely different person. Chills of dread crawled up her spine, making her stomach lurch. Why does he look at me like that?
“You’re so very beautiful,” he whispered, his voice sounded almost foreign to her.
She sucked in her breath. Would he do something improper? Oh, where are you Mrs. Berkley? And Nicholas, come back!
His eyes fluttered closed. Relief poured through her and she sighed.
“Go now and enjoy the rest of the party,” he spoke with great effort. “I’m so thrilled that you are finally here. I have waited so long...so long to see you again...Sophia.” Deep breaths consumed his weary body.
All air escaped her lungs – or had she forgotten to breathe? Catherine stared blankly at him, not certain if she’d heard him wrong. Had he really called her mother’s name, Sophia? Why would he mistake her for her mother, unless...
Catherine gasped, covered her mouth and rushed out of the room. Slowly her mind pieced everything together and things began to make sense. He must want her because she looked so much like her mother. She’d resembled her mother at age fourteen, and that was when Grant offered for her. Since he couldn’t have Sophia, he was going to have her.
What am I going to do now? Was it too late to call everything off? Unfortunately, she doubted she could accomplish such a task even if she wanted.
She took slow steps down the long staircase, her mind spinning in a million different directions, keeping her from thinking straight. Really, there was nothing she could do. She was stuck in this relationship.
Catherine rubbed her forehead as a slight pound began. Why was life so complicated? Why did her parents have to promise her to a man who looked at her as if she were somebody else? How could she become married to a man when he’d think of her mother the whole time? This wasn’t fair!
“Blast it all,” she cursed fate aloud in vile anger, hitting her fist into the railing on the stairs.
* * * *
Nick walked through the hallway, heading toward the staircase when the sweet voice of a woman cursing floated through the air. He bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing. Obviously the woman thought she was the only one in the house. After he turned the corner and noticed the person in question was Catherine, he did laugh – and hard.
She jumped from his sudden outburst and stopped on the stairs. Her face flamed at least three shades of red, which made his laughter grow.
“The perfect Catherine has a flaw after all.” Nick leaned his hip against the banister and stared up at her. She looked extremely lovely right now; so pure and sweet, but mostly intoxicating even with a scarlet-colored face.
“I’m not perfect,” she snapped and straightened her back as she continued to descend.
He chuckled. “Yes, I know, but there for a while, I thought you were.”
She stopped on the step in front of him. “You…you…you were not supposed to hear that.”
“Obviously, but I’m very grateful you rewarded me the privilege.”
She huffed. “If you were a real gentleman, you would pretend not to hear, and you would certainly not tease me about it.”
She was so adorable right now, making him want to laugh and to be by her side for the rest of the evening. But it was more than that. He wanted her in his arms. Now.
No, he argued with himself. Being so personal would only cause him pain. He must make her mad at him. That was the only way.
Laughter quickly left him as he moved in front of her. Since she stood on the bottom step, it made her exactly his height.
“What makes you presume I’m a gentleman?”
Confusion creased her brow. “Nicholas? What are you saying? Of course you are a gentleman.”
In one quick motion, he clamped his hands around her waist and roughly pulled her against him. She gasped. Was it in fear or excitement? He couldn’t be certain, but the sweet sound of her voice turned his insides to honey.
“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I’m a gentleman. In fact, my sweet Catherine, I will warn you. Most women consider me a scoundrel, so beware. You don’t want to play your feminine games with me because if you do, you shall not escape unscathed.”
His original intent was to frighten her so she’d leave him alone, slap him, or say something hateful to make him stop. Instead, the heavy breaths fanning his face and the way she quivered told him she wasn’t frightened at all.
Her gaze dropped to his mouth, and suddenly the urge to kiss her overpowered him. As hard as he tried to fight it, he knew he couldn’t resist this time.
He roughly pressed his mouth to hers. It was a kiss meant to punish her. Instead, it tortured him. Her lips were so very soft. Pulling back, he hesitated. What am I doing? She leaned forward, her eyes closed. I’m done for! She wants this too!
He placed his mouth over hers, once more. She released a sigh and melted into his arms. He tightened his hold to keep her from falling. When she wrapped her arms around his neck, he softened the kiss. Fireworks exploded in his head and a strange dizziness took over.
Warning bells rang through his head, telling him this was something he shouldn’t be doing. She wasn’t some other man’s property, but his uncle’s fiancée.
He forced himself to break the passionate kiss. He held her until she was able to stand on her own, then he yanked his hands away as if she were on fire.
Catherine’s wide-eyed gaze stayed on his for the longest time as her ragged breaths continued. He tried to unscramble the turbulent thoughts, but no explanation came. Before he followed through with his yearnings and took her back into his arms, he cursed fate and moved past her, bolting up the stairs to his Grant’s room.
Chapter Five
Dark.
Cold.
Silence deafened the night. Misty darkness swarmed through the room like an eerie fog of the unknown. Catherine crawled out of bed. Everything seemed to spin around her and she grabbed her head. Her skull throbbed as though she’d consumed an entire bottle of spirits, yet she knew she hadn’t.
“Mother?” she whispered as she fought for control.
Taking careful steps, she made her way to the bedroom door and opened it. “Mother?” she called out again. Silence washed over the house.
She blinked, adjusting her vision to the darkness as she moved down the hall. The door to her parent’s room stood ajar. Had Father returned? She peeked inside. Empty.
“Mother?” She raised her voice, worry creeping inside her chest as she padded down the stairs. Still no answer.
When she reached the bottom of the steps and turned toward the living room, she stopped. A gasp flew from he
r throat and she covered her mouth.
Remnants of what used to be her sofa lay ripped and scattered over the floor. Dishes from the cabinet were in pieces. Chairs had been turned over, legs broken.
Her heartbeat increased. Her body shook.
“Mother?”
She swung toward the kitchen. Curtains had been ripped from the window, allowing the moonlight to shine through. Tears stung her eyes, blurring her vision, but not enough to keep her from seeing stains of blood splattered on the wall, on the table, on the floor, covering a still body...
“Mother!”
She ran to her mother and fell to her knees beside the body. With the moon’s help, the color of death became apparent on her mother’s face. Her nightgown had been ripped in many places, stained crimson. The poker from the fireplace, bloody as it lay beside her mother’s head.
Catherine reached out to touch her mother’s cheek, but withdrew her shaky hand. It didn’t matter. Her mother was dead.
Murdered.
Once again, the mist of darkness flooded her head, made her mind spin out of control. As if seeing the next few months fly before her eyes. The funeral. Her father’s accusations. Returning to school lonelier than she’d been before.
She squeezed her eyes tighter to fight the bad memories washing through. Suddenly, another image came to her. A handsome man with dark hair and green eyes. Spellbinding eyes.
Nicholas.
She was with him on the stairs again, wrapped in his comforting arms while she kissed him. Memories of her mother’s death left and she drifted into a blissful state where only Nick could take her. Catherine smiled.
She kissed him longer this time, but when she withdrew to look into his heavenly eyes, it was Grant’s sightless eyes that stared back, a scowl creased on his forehead and tight mouth in accusing silent.
Crying out, Catherine sprang to a sitting position in bed, clutching the covers at her neck. Her breaths were quick, harsh. Her heart pounded a fierce rhythm while a heavy pain gathered in her chest. Although a dream, it seemed real. Guilt for kissing Nick last night had condemned her for certain. Yet why had she dreamed about the time she found her mother?
A tear slid down her cheek and she wiped it. How long had she been crying? Apparently, the dream caused more heartache than she’d been prepared for.
Lying back, she clutched a pillow to her chest and rocked. It’d been quite a while since the confused memories from long ago when her mother died crushed her so painfully she couldn’t breathe. Her Father had told her that memory loss – which Catherine obviously had – was a sign of her mother’s illness. A shiver ran through her and she pushed the depressing thoughts aside.
She dragged herself out of bed and let Emily help her with a bath and dress her for the day. Glancing in the mirror, the yellow and white balloon-sleeved day dress added to her complexion and brightened her face. Unfortunately, it didn’t do anything to lift her spirits or erase the throbbing headache from her horrible dream.
After Emily finished brushing Catherine’s hair, she wound the thickness into a loose bun and covered it with white netting. She looked elegant today, befitting the almost fiancé of a duke.
She took her time going down the stairs – the same stairs where she’d kissed Nick – to the breakfast room. As she neared, men’s voices echoed through the halls, and she realized she’d made the right decision to awaken early. Apparently, the rest of the household did as well. When she entered, all three brothers ceased their discussion and turned their eyes toward her. Right away Gregg and Ian stood, and by Nick’s tight lips, he appeared too irritated to show her a little respect so quickly as he slowly lifted himself out of the chair.
She gave them her best smile. “Good morning, gentlemen.”
Her gaze flew to Nick when she realized what she’d just said. He arched an eyebrow and a glimmer of humor touched his expression before disappearing. She had to remember that although Nick may not be a gentleman, his brothers were.
Gregg pulled out the empty chair next to him for her to sit. “We didn’t think you would be awake this early, especially after the late night you had.”
“I’m usually an early riser.” She sat and the men followed.
“We are not used to women being up so early, but it’s a pleasant change,” Gregg answered.
“I must apologize. I suppose I’m not like most women.”
“That’s fine with us,” Ian spoke.
“It’s refreshing to have someone who’s out of the ordinary,” Gregg cut in. “We are getting rather bored with the ordinary, are we not, Nick?”
Nick was in the middle of sipping his drink, and she waited for him to put down his cup before responding.
“Yes, most certainly.” He paused and met her stare. “How did you sleep, Catherine? Comfortably, I hope?”
“My bed is perfect, thank you.” His stare caused a blush to creep up her cheeks, so she quickly asked, “Where’s Grant? Is he not up yet?”
Ian shook his head. “The duke usually sleeps later.”
“I’m certain he needs the rest after last night.” She shook her head. “He looked so fatigued.”
A maid brought over a dish of oatmeal, sausage and eggs and set it in front of her, then left. The juice and tea were already on the table. It wasn’t until the heady aroma of the meat touched her senses that her stomach growled.
“So,” Gregg said as he turned toward her, “what do you have planned for today?”
“I’m not certain. What’s there to do?”
Ian chuckled. “Were you not invited to brunches with the other women last night?”
“Honestly, I cannot remember. Most of the evening passed so fast it wasn’t much more than a blur. There were only a few things I vividly remember.” Her attention darted to Nick who still watched her, but this time he looked bored. She quickly switched her focus back to Ian. “The few things I do remember didn’t include brunches.”
“Not to worry.” Ian patted her hand. “The proper way to invite is with a written invitation. Besides, the barracudas will probably give you about a week before they start hounding you.”
She laughed. “Thank goodness for that.”
“I know what we can do,” Ian spoke to Gregg. “We can take Catherine with us on our morning ride.”
Gregg grinned and met Catherine’s stare. “Yes. If my memory serves me correctly, I think you used to ride quite well back in your younger years.”
Enthusiasm bubbled inside her. “Well, I will have you know that age only improved my ability to ride.”
“Splendid,” Gregg cheered.
Nick pushed away from the table and stood. “I hope you three have an entertaining time this morning.”
“Are you not going to join us?” Ian asked.
“No. I have important matters to attend.” He nodded. “Good day.” Lifting his chin, he walked out of the room.
Catherine took a refreshing breath now that he was gone.
Gregg and Ian stood. “Catherine, finish eating and we will get the horses ready.”
She nodded and took a bite of her oatmeal.
Nick’s attitude about everything disappointed her. Best that he act this way. She could handle him better when he was mean and rude. Last night proved she couldn’t be around him when he was charming.
She scolded herself again for doing what she’d done last night with Nick. She blamed it on the night’s confusion and how he’d literally made her swoon with a smile. So then what was Nick’s excuse for kissing her? He could have easily left her alone, walked right by her on the stairs without touching her.
Catherine growled and stabbed her fork into the sausage. Nick should have realized her innocence. Did he not know what he’d done to her? Perhaps that’s why she’d fallen so easily into his arms like a woman starved for affection.
She sighed. She might be craving that kind of affection, but unfortunately, not from her own intended.
After finishing her breakfast, she hurried upstairs
to inform Mrs. Berkley about her outing – who not surprisingly was going to accompany her – then Catherine asked Emily to help her change into a riding habit. Grant, of course, had purchased this along with everything else she owned. The forest green material with elegant black trim, and the white silk blouse ruffling at her neck and wrists added maturity to her appearance. Once her attire was completed, she grabbed a matching hat with the jaunty feather fluffed at the side and left the room. Venturing outside, she proceeded to meet Gregg and Ian by the stables. Mrs. Berkley stood ready with her riding crop in hand.
Both brothers were very attentive, going out of their way to make certain she was happy. Gregg helped her mount a white thoroughbred mare that Grant had previously purchased for her, while Ian struggled with the older plump woman to get her atop of her horse. Grunts and groans came from Ian, more so than Mrs. Berkley.
“Ian and I thought you might like to have a tour around the estate,” Gregg mentioned.
She smiled. “Indeed, I would like that very much.”
Gregg led the four on the countryside tour. The wide-open fields of greenery and an assortment of flowers cleared Catherine’s mind of everything except the beauty of the land...and the man inside the house that lately hadn’t left her thoughts no matter how hard she tried to rid him.
* * * *
Nick paced in his study as he flexed his hands, unable to concentrate. Memories of last night occupied his mind. Why did he talk to Catherine the way he did and kiss her as if his sole purpose was to charm her? She wasn’t his and never would be.
And another thing... Why did she have to be so beautiful? Not only was she lovely, but charming and witty, so different from any other woman he’d met before. It surprised him when he heard her curse, yet it reminded him of the Catherine he’d fallen in love with as a young boy.
He growled and punched his fist into his leather chair. He needed to get her off his mind and keep her out.
“Excuse me, Mr. Fielding.” The butler interrupted Nick’s thoughts as he entered the study.
Love Me Always (The Fielding Brothers' Saga) Page 6