Kevin flirted with her at dinner and tried to kiss her good night, but she put a quick stop to that. One screw-up was enough.
If Shane backed out of their agreement, maybe she’d be more open to the idea of spending time with Brad and his dad. But she was perfectly happy keeping things casual for the time being.
Shane finally called and asked if she and Josh would like to go to the beach with him the following Sunday. For Josh’s sake, she agreed.
“You bring a picnic lunch,” he said, “and I’ll bring a kite. Figured Josh might enjoy that.”
“He’d love it.” She paused and then added, “He was disappointed last week when you couldn’t make it, so I took him to Disney’s Magic Kingdom. Brad and Kevin joined us.”
“Oh.” There was silence for a minute, before he spoke quietly, “I see.”
“You do?” she asked, wishing it didn’t hurt.
“Glad to see you took my advice,” Shane said smoothly, as if he didn’t care. Which he probably didn’t. “Kevin’s available and he likes you.”
“Yeah, well, that’s hardly the point, is it?” She knew she sounded snappish, but she wished Shane weren’t so gung-ho about pushing her into Kevin’s arms. “I’m not doing this for me, but for Josh. It’s his happiness that matters.”
“There’s no reason for you not to date. You’ve been widowed—what? Two, three years?”
“Three. But I’d rather spend my nights with Josh. He’s my number one.” Plus, she made a lousy wife. She nagged, she argued, she’d distracted her husband .…
Shane made a snorting sound. “I’m sure that’ll change.”
“Not likely. I like my independence too much.”
“I can certainly relate to that. But you’re a young woman with a young child. I imagine you’ll feel differently one day.”
“But until I do …”
“Until you do, you still need a mentor for Josh. That’s me. I’ll pick you up at one.”
Now that he had called, Lauren was no longer worried. Whatever had caused his disappearance the previous weekend was none of her business. He had a right to a life, one that didn’t include her or her son.
Lauren was slightly nervous about being seen on a beach. She was slim, but her body was far from perfect. Wanting to look her best, she went shopping and bought a new swimsuit, a conservative black one-piece that was supposed to make her look ten pounds slimmer. Earlier in the week, she’d also stopped at a salon for a bikini wax and a pedicure.
For their picnic she filled a basket with a store-bought rotisserie chicken, a loaf of French bread, and homemade potato salad. She added some cheddar cheese and apple slices and finished packing with oatmeal raisin cookies.
She wore her swimsuit under shorts and a T-shirt, and Josh had on his knee-length swimming trunks and a purple T-shirt with a large shark in the middle. By one o’clock, they were both ready.
When Shane knocked on the door, Josh ran to let him in. “Are we really going to fly a kite?” He jumped up and down. “That’s so cool!”
“We sure are.” He looked at the boy’s arm. “How does your elbow feel?”
“Feels good. Like I can do anything.” He grinned his gap-toothed smile. “It’s awesome!”
“You’re awesome.” Shane gave Lauren a quick glance, then turned his attention back to Josh. “Ever done it before?”
“No. Can you show me how?”
“I can and I will.” He turned to Lauren. “Something smells good. Have you been slaving over a hot oven?”
She laughed. “No. Rotisserie chicken, but homemade cookies.”
“Works for me.” His eyes did a quick inventory of her body, and she felt a tingle of pleasure inside and out. A tingle that she quickly squelched and told herself to ignore.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Because it was still spring, the seaside town didn’t have the visitors that came in droves during the summer months, and they found a parking spot a short distance from the pier. Lauren helped unload the car, and smiled as Shane handed the kite to Josh, warning him to hold on tight.
“I stopped by earlier and got us organized,” he said, pointing to a couple of chairs with an umbrella and a beach blanket.
“Excellent. You thought of everything.” Lauren gave him a pleased smile. “I’ll lay out the food for our picnic while you boys play.”
She nearly choked when Shane stripped off his T-shirt and squirted on some protective sun lotion. She didn’t know what he did for a workout routine, but whatever it was, it certainly did the job. Broad shoulders framed a nicely sculpted body with six-pack abs. He had well-shaped legs and muscular thighs with a light smattering of dusty hair that matched the thicker patch on his chest.
She licked her suddenly dry lips. Coming to the beach might have been a huge mistake. She’d never look at him again without having to wipe off the drool.
She dropped her picnic basket in the sand and sank into a chair, fanning herself before she realized what she was doing.
“You okay?” he asked with a sexy grin.
“It’s warm today, don’t you think?”
He checked her out, and his eyes twinkled. “It’s hot all right.”
“Why are you guys talking about the weather?” Josh interrupted, and Lauren had never been so glad. “Let’s fly this thing.” He ran around in circles, allowing the kite a few feet of freedom.
“Off you two go.” She waved them away, glad she wouldn’t have to stare at Shane’s naked chest until she got her breathing under control. Maybe the fact that she had lived like a nun for most of the last three years had something to do with her overactive libido. Whatever the reason, she needed to get rid of it.
She managed to get the plastic plates out of the picnic basket, cut up the chicken, lay out the salad, slice the cheese and bread, but her eyes kept straying to both the man and her son. She couldn’t remember seeing Josh look so happy. He was laughing and running around with the kite flying behind him, and when it dipped and fell in the water, Shane rescued it.
It was a sight that tempted to melt the frozen block around her heart. But she preferred keeping that frozen layer right where it was, protecting her, keeping her from loving again. Better safe than sorry.
Lauren watched her son and Shane for a few more minutes, then decided to use the alone time to take in some sun. She stripped out of her clothes, applied a heavy dose of sunscreen, then stretched out on the blanket and closed her eyes.
A short time later, she felt a shadow over her and glanced up. Shane stood there, grinning. “Hi,” she said. “Did you boys have fun?”
“Sure did. You should have joined us. Josh wants to show you how good he is.”
She sat up and looked at her son. “That’s great, Josh. I’m so proud of you. I was watching, and you had the kite higher than anyone else on the beach. You guys rock.”
Josh danced in place, clutching the kite. “Mom, come and watch me.”
“I will, honey, right after we have something to eat.” She reached for her T-shirt, feeling a little too exposed with Shane’s eyes on her.
“I don’t want to eat.” Josh kicked the sand. “I want to fly the kite more.”
Shane intervened. “We have all afternoon, kiddo. I’m starved, and the food will spoil if we leave it in the sun.” He picked up a paper plate. “You want a chicken leg?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Josh didn’t sound happy, but he stopped kicking sand and came to stand near Shane.
Shane put a leg and some potato salad on the plate, added a hunk of bread, and gave it to Josh. “Eat that, and then maybe your mom will let you have a cookie.”
Josh sat down and did as he was told.
“Nice work,” Lauren whispered to Shane. “You want me to fix you a plate?”
“I’m fine, but thanks for offering.” He helped himself, then sat down next to Josh on the blanket and dived in.
Lauren took sodas from an insulated bag and handed them out. Then she filled her plate and took one of the cha
irs. She ate in silence, smiling as the guys polished off their food and went back for seconds.
Shane helped her put the leftover food away. Their hands accidently collided over the picnic basket, and Lauren felt a delighted thrill. Their eyes met.
His were more brown than green in the afternoon sun. Warm as melted chocolate, they made her feel all gooey inside. She tingled in long-forgotten places, and she didn’t care that it was wrong to feel about Shane this way.
“You guys want to show me how to fly that kite?” She looked into Shane’s eyes as she spoke.
“What do you say, Josh? Think a girl will slow us down?”
“Naw. Mom’s not a girl. She’s supermom.”
Lauren laughed. “First time I’ve been called that, but I think I like it.” She put on her shorts and picked up the kite. “Okay, who’s going to teach me how to get this in the air?”
“Shane can show you. He’s real good at it.” Josh jumped around excitedly.
Shane wore a smug smile. “I think I can handle it on my own,” Lauren said. “At least it’ll be fun trying.”
She felt her cheeks flush and didn’t want either of the boys to see, so she ran off, but Shane chased her down. His arm went around her waist, and she stopped running. Slowly she turned, and felt his naked chest next to her. Her heart beat wildly, and she swallowed hard.
“This is a dangerous game we’re playing,” she whispered.
“I have a thing for danger,” he said. His eyes darkened, and she wondered if it was desire that made them change color or simply the light. His hazel eyes could be green or brown, and she hadn’t figured out what triggered the change in color.
“Uh-huh.” She smiled. “I can see that.”
Josh came running up to them. “Can I try now? Can I?”
She handed the kite to her son. “Go for it. I don’t think I’m good at this kind of thing.”
“You won’t know if you don’t try,” Shane said with a wicked grin.
“I like to do things I can control. The wind isn’t one of them. And, well, to be honest, I prefer just watching you guys.”
“Oh, Mom, you’re so lame.”
She laughed and waved them off. Returning to the blanket, she sat down where she could keep her eye on them but not feel so vulnerable. She knew the two of them were already comfortable with each other; it was she who had a problem. Shane stirred her up, made her feel things she was better off forgetting.
By four o’clock they’d had enough of the beach and headed home. Shane took out his books and glanced through them while Lauren gave Josh a quick bath. Once her son was settled in front of the TV, she sat down at the kitchen table to give Shane her full attention.
They drank tea and were totally immersed in the studying until Josh interrupted to say he was hungry. She glanced at the clock, startled to see it was half past six.
She closed the biochemistry book and stood up. “Shane, I need to feed Josh and get him off to bed soon, but we can continue studying once he’s asleep.”
“Stay for dinner,” Josh said, tugging on Shane’s arm. “Mom’s a really good cook.”
“I know she is, Josh, but not today. Maybe some other time.” He carried their mugs to the sink and said to Lauren, “You know, the way you explain things helps make it click. I’m retaining the information.”
She smiled. “I certainly hope so.”
He said good-bye to Josh, and then gathered up his books. She walked him to the door.
“I had a nice time today,” he said. “I’m glad you came.”
“Me too.” She touched his arm. “By the way, I want to apologize for that nice kiss. I shouldn’t have done it.”
“No need.” He shrugged. “It’s already forgotten.”
“Oh.” Disappointment swept over her like a dash of cold water.
“But you were right,” he added. “It was nice.” With that, he turned and walked out.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Shane returned home, took Major for a walk, then sat down on the couch with the dog next to him.
“Had a great day at the beach today,” he told the dog, rubbing Major’s belly. “You know what she did? Last week when I didn’t see Josh, she went to Magic Kingdom with Kevin and the two boys.”
The dog put his legs in the air, giving Shane full access to his belly. He continued to scratch with his bionic hand.
“She needs a guy like him. Someone a lot stronger than me, that’s for sure. If Kevin doesn’t float her boat, hopefully soon the right guy will come along and love her the way she needs to be loved and be a good father to Josh.”
If he could hang around until that special someone came into their lives, then no one would get hurt. He would have done the right thing by them and be free to leave.
He stood up and prowled around the apartment that wasn’t his. He’d rented it from Brent, who’d given up fighting forest fires to fight the Taliban in Afghanistan. Same weapon—helicopters, different outcome. This one could get him killed.
Satisfied that he’d resolved his issues with Lauren, his thoughts turned to Brent. He was worried about him and had been for days. They were closer than any two brothers. Did everything together. Everything but go to war. Brent had thought Shane was out of his mind when he signed up as an army medic, eager to go to Iraq. He’d refused to do the same, saying it wasn’t their fight.
As usual, he’d been right. The war dragged on for way too many years, at too high of a cost, both in lives and to the American economy. Hell, even after Hussein’s regime ended, the war continued.
Brent knew this. His father was a retired general, and his older brother, Jake, had fought in Iraq too. But the damn fool had been so riled up when Shane got captured, he’d taken himself down to the recruitment center and signed up.
Now Shane got to sleep in his king-sized bed while Brent froze his ass in a foreign, hostile land.
Not that he did much sleeping. Since his return, he probably averaged three to four hours a night. He used the time he didn’t spend sleeping to study, do his laundry, pay his bills, and accomplish what normal people did during the day.
He had no complaints, though. It kept his nightmares at bay. Sleeping for him was akin to torture, even now that he had a warm bed at night.
But tonight he was too wound up to sleep, even if he could. He had a bad feeling, and this kind of bad feeling usually turned out to have been justified. Picking up the phone, he called Jake in Washington.
“How’s the capital city treating you?” Shane said by way of greeting. “You still working to get us homeless folks off the streets?”
“Shane, ole buddy. Nice to hear from you. What’s up?”
“Not much. I’m still employed as a medic, finishing up a few pre-med courses, and studying for MCATS.” He added, “Got a nice lady doctor giving me extra help at night. Not a bad deal all around.”
“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full,” Jake chuckled.
“Talk about hands full—how’s that beautiful lady of yours?”
“Kari’s doing great. Got that new show of hers syndicated, and it follows the evening news at 7:00 p.m.” He spoke with obvious pride. “Who’d have thought her ‘feel-good stories’ would have made such an impact?”
“Yes, well, it’s what the people want to hear. You and I both know they don’t want the truth.”
“Well, we’re working on that,” Jake agreed. “So what’s really bothering you? You didn’t call just to chat.”
“You’re right. I haven’t heard from Brent in a while. How about you?”
“Jeez, I’m not sure. He normally checks in with me every month or so, but I can’t say when I heard from him last.” Jake didn’t sound concerned. “You know that if anything happened, I’d hear about it immediately. So no news is good news, right?”
“You’d think so, but my instincts …”
“Have always been dead on. So what are they telling you?”
“Nothing concrete, just that something isn’t
right.”
“And I think he’s shacked up with some pretty army officer unlucky enough to be in that hellhole part of the world.” Jake chuckled. “Trust me, he’s fine. If he wasn’t, we’d know about it.”
“Well, if you hear from him, give him shit for me, will you?”
“You bet. Anything else bothering you?”
“No, things are good with me. I’m still working on staying sober. One day at a time.”
“Glad to hear it.” Jake cleared his throat. “Take care of yourself, Shane. Good luck with the doc.”
“It’s not like that …”
“Like hell it’s not.”
Shane hung up. It had been good to talk with Jake, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. He called up a few people he knew, putting feelers out, but if anybody knew anything, they weren’t talking.
Once Josh went to bed, Lauren turned the TV back on and poured a glass of wine, intending to unwind after her busy day. Her shoulder muscles were tight and knotted, caused solely by spending the day with Shane.
Seeing him shirtless down at the beach, she’d felt a yearning so strong, it had completely unnerved her. Kissing him had been a terrible error in judgment, because now she knew what she was missing and couldn’t get it out of her head.
It wasn’t the kissing or the sex she missed so terribly, but the joy of being in love, being part of a couple. Having someone besides Josh to talk to at night, to snuggle with, to share her intimate thoughts and her worries with, even the mundane details of her day. And yes, of course, she did miss sex. Being held by a man, lying beside him at night, listening to the sound of his breathing, comforted by his familiar scent and warmth.
Ron had wanted to fill that empty space, but she’d refused, partly because of Josh, partly because she hadn’t been ready. He’d left when he got tired of waiting, and the hole inside of her had deepened.
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