“I want you and Maeve to go out, get dinner, and catch a movie. It’s Friday night. You deserve a break from this mayhem. I’m on duty.”
Wyler was staring at him as if he was the next coming of Christ.
It was funny.
“You’re giving me the night off? You want to do this by yourself?” Wyler asked. “Are you insane?”
Well, that was questionable on a good day, but Ethan let it go. He simply wanted to spend time with his kids, have dinner, and decompress. If Wyler stayed, he’d be tempted to work.
Ethan battled that compulsion every single day of his life. If he let it, the workaholic in him would win.
“Yes, I’m giving you the night off, and no, I won’t be doing it alone. Chris will be here in a few, Elizabeth and Callen are tied up, and you two are heading out. I’m on dad duty.”
The boys started running around him.
It made him smile.
While everyone thought he was best in his element at work, the opposite was true. He’d pick six kids over a building full of jackassery and tomfoolery any day.
Besides…
He missed his children.
“Ethan, did you hit your head?”
He laughed. “You think I can’t do it?”
Wyler didn’t want to hurt his son’s feelings, but the man didn’t exactly have this brood under control.
No one did.
To prove a point, Ethan whistled and the two dogs came running. Okay, that wasn’t his plan, but it worked. “Boys, take the dogs outside for a bathroom break. Cat, you get the takeout menus, and we’ll order dinner.”
The kids took off.
The place got quiet.
Wyler gave him a hug. “You always were my favorite. Don’t forget it.”
He snorted. “Yeah, it’s because I found Elizabeth, and that’s the only reason why. Don’t lie. It’s not pretty on you, Dad.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures, son.”
He was well aware.
“Thank you, Ethan,” Maeve said, her Irish lilt out. “If you need us, please call. I don’t mind coming back to handle the little ones.”
He was aware.
Maeve was a gem, and they had been lucky to find her. He seriously doubted his father could handle this without her. If they added one more kid, someone was going to be institutionalized.
“Colin will drive you to your house, Maeve, and you can get changed. I want you both to have fun.”
Maeve went to go get her things.
“Dad,” Ethan said, keeping his voice low.
“What?”
“Seal the deal. It’s time. The sexual tension in this house is off the charts, and it’s not from us. Make your move already. The girl is ready.”
Wyler stared at him. “I am really uncomfortable with discussing this with you for so many reasons. The list is really long.”
Ethan grinned.
Yeah, talking about his father getting laid was at the bottom of his list too.
It was awkward.
“Stay at her place or bring her back here. It’s time. Just be back for your shift tomorrow morning. We’re on a case, and I have to be at the office early.”
“Ethan, are you sure?”
“About you having sex or coming back tomorrow morning?” he teased.
His father went red.
“Go have some pie, Dad. For Christ’s sake, the woman is practically begging when she looks at you.”
“I’m aware,” Wyler said.
Ethan heard it in his voice, so he did what Timothy would have done in that situation.
He hugged his father and then kissed him on the side of his face. “You deserve this kind of happiness. Go be with the girl. She really likes you a lot.”
He held onto his son. “I love you, Ethan.”
Blackhawk stared into his father’s eyes. “Not as much as I love you, Dad.”
The older man raced up the stairs to go get changed. It amused Ethan. When he heard the door open, and Bethe squeal, he knew it was Chris.
“WOW! This place is wrecked,” Chris said, walking in. “It looks like the military came in, blew it up, and then escaped out the back door.”
Yeah, six kids, two harried adults, and two dogs would do that to a person. Honestly, Ethan knew the truth.
At some point, they were going to have to hire more help. They could use a full time cook, a maid, and shrink to talk them through the crazy.
“I’m glad you’re finally here. We need to talk,” Ethan said, pointing at the couch.
Chris stared at him. “Like we did last time and I punched you in the face? You wouldn’t hit a nerd in glasses, would you? That seems so very wrong.”
Ethan cuddled his brother’s son and grabbed them two beers out of the fridge. He recalled the last time those words were uttered.
He’d taken one to the face.
Hopefully, after this conversation, no one would be swinging or bleeding.
“I rarely hit unless I’m provoked, and then I try to keep it to a minimum. You know…the whole career thing. The FBI frowns on agents slugging it out, and they REALLY frown upon upper management doing it.”
“Okay, then what?” Chris asked, taking a beer from Ethan before he led them both toward the couch.
“We’re ordering pizza, taking on parent duty, and then going to talk about you leaving this house.”
Chris sipped the beer, trying not to show any emotion. So much for the conversation Elizabeth let him overhear. “I see.”
“I don’t think you do.”
Chris was on guard.
“I want you to be here. I know that Elizabeth called and let you hear that conversation, Chris. I know why she did it. Well, I’m going to say it to your face. You’re family. You’re staying. You’re a Blackhawk to the core. We all want you here.”
Ethan looked around the pandemonium and grinned wickedly. “Me more now than ever.”
Chris laughed. He could see why. It was chaos here, but he loved it. For the first time, in a long time, he felt like he was home.
“I trust you, Chris.”
“I don’t want to have sex with your wife.”
“You are such a freaking liar.”
He grinned when he was called out on it. How could he dispute that? Elizabeth was beautiful and their past was just that.
Theirs.
“I don’t have any future plans to have sex with your wife.”
“Better.”
“You are staying, we’ll figure it out, and if you touch my wife?”
Chris lifted a brow.
“I’ll let her kick your ass herself.”
He clinked his beer bottle off Ethan’s. “Deal.”
“Now, let’s get pizza ordered, kids in pajamas, and get ready for tonight.”
Chris grinned. “This is going to be fun.” Then he looked around. “Or it’s a sign that we’ve both lost our damn minds.”
That was a given.
Still…
This was what parenthood was like.
Deputy Director or not.
And Ethan Blackhawk was fine with that.
* * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *
Fairmont
Penthouse
He was scared.
“What’s going on, Elizabeth?”
“I only want tonight before everything changes, Callen. I know it has to end, but I need this.”
He wanted to be sick.
“What’s ending?” he asked. “Us?”
His hands were in his pockets for a reason. Callen was pretty sure they were shaking.
Elizabeth walked away from him without answering his question. She headed into the sitting area of the penthouse. Callen was behind her. She could feel him watching her.
“Lyzee, please answer me. Today, I shouldn’t have gotten mad. I was in a mood. Let me make it up to you.”
“No, Callen. You can’t make it up to me.”
His heart was thundering. “
You’re kicking me out of your life, aren’t you?”
She turned. “No. I’m giving up my life. I’ll let you drape me in whatever you want, I’ll pretend to love it all, and I’ll never say another word about it. I just want tonight to have this one moment to hold onto for the rest of our lives. I need it to remember us.”
He didn’t get it.
In fact, he was getting more and more confused with each moment.
Elizabeth was in pajamas, there was a pizza on the pricy table, and a six pack of beer.
It was his perfect night.
It was one they’d shared countless times when they were away working a case, when Ethan was away on a trip, or when they needed a break.
This was their go to evening.
So what the hell was she talking about needing it one more night before it was gone?
“I know you want me to be someone I’m not, and to make you happy, Callen, I’ll do it. I don’t want you to hate me because I get upset when you buy me things. I’ll accept it. I’ll suck it up, and I’ll let you win.”
“Wait. Elizabeth. What the hell?”
“You’re changing me. You must not like me how I am either.”
He saw the emotion in her eyes.
Her words staggered him to his core.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning, Lyzee? I don’t know what’s going on.”
She sat on the couch and wiped at her eyes. “When Ethan became the Deputy Director, I knew life was going to change. I knew that I was going to have to be someone I wasn’t—for him. We have to attend those fancy parties, and that’s not me. Still, I put on the appropriate gear and I hold up my responsibilities.”
Callen listened.
He never thought she hated those parties. Elizabeth was flawless at those functions. She fit in and carried herself like she was born to attend them.
“I have to stand there, be the trophy, and do my job as Ethan’s wife. There was only one thing that got me through it.”
He moved closer. “What?”
“You.”
He didn’t understand.
“You were still Callen. You let me be me. I didn’t have to dress up, wear fancy things, or pretend I was anything but Elizabeth LaRue, the country girl. Well, that’s changing. You need me to be more.”
“Lyzee.”
She kept going. Elizabeth had to get it out, and she needed him to listen to her.
“I could come home from those things and be me. I was good enough for you. I know Ethan’s way out of my league every day. I know that if I wasn’t married to him, he’d have some pretty trophy on his arm because in his position, it matters.”
Callen was appalled for so many reasons.
“When I come home, I still had you, Callen. I didn’t have to see you as Jackson James. You were happy to get an ice cream cone, watch the stars, and make out.”
He felt horrible.
Had he asked her to change? In some inadvertent way, had he asked Elizabeth to be someone she wasn’t?
Were they guilty of this?
“Elizabeth, Ethan loves you. We both love you more than anything in the world.”
“I know, but he’s evolving. When’s the last time he just wore jeans, got dirty, and laughed with us over something silly?”
It had been a long time.
She was right.
Only it was because he was so damn busy.
“I had you to remind me that it’s okay to be simple. That it’s okay to be me. Now you’re draping me in jewelry, trying to buy me fancy shit, and it reminds me that you’re evolving too. I’m alone here. I used to have both of you, and you’re slipping away from me. I’m no longer married to Callen James and Ethan Jackson. I’m married to Jackson James, the bestselling author, and Ethan Blackhawk, the Deputy Director of the FBI.”
His heart hurt for her.
Was this what she really thought?
He didn’t realize…
Now that she was communicating her feelings, he could see it from her perspective. She had to play dress up for Ethan, going out and being his dutiful wife. Elizabeth had to sit by and let Callen spoil her, thinking it was because he was trying to change her.
From her perspective, it was plausible.
“When I had the old you, I at least knew we’d be okay. Now, I don’t know what’s coming. You were my stability and now I’m simply reminded that you both don’t need me. Ethan has his career, and we all know he’s going to be in charge of the FBI one day. You have your writing, and you’re a bestselling author. I’m just an FBI agent. I’m just a mom.”
Callen moved closer.
He heard the hurt, fear, and worry in her voice. He also saw it in her eyes.
“So give me this last night to remember what we were, and I’ll be whoever you need me to be. I’d rather lose me than lose you. When you left me today, I realized that I had to change to keep you both. Like it or not, I have to evolve. I’m not enough anymore, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove it to you. You want to give me something, give me this one last night so I can hold it in my heart.”
He’d really made a mess of this.
They both had.
If she was genuinely feeling this way, they’d really screwed up. Maybe they’d missed the forest through the trees on this one.
That was on them.
Not her.
“Elizabeth, I’m so sorry. I don’t buy you things to impress you or decorate you. I just like giving you pretty things. Growing up, I never thought this would happen. It’s crazy that I can spend money on a woman.”
“I don’t want your money, Callen. It scares me. It reminds me that you’re both leaving me behind.”
“Oh, angel. I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intent, and when I left today, and I shouldn’t have, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He pulled her into his arms. She was crying now, and he felt like a total idiot. He didn’t bother to think of it from her point of view.
Ethan had been right.
It wasn’t that he didn’t belong anymore. They were making her feel like she didn’t have a place. A lot had happened in the last two months.
“I just want to come home and know that if I lose him, I won’t lose you too.”
“Sweetheart,” he said, making her look at him. “You will never lose me. In fact, I can say with absolute certainty that you won’t lose Ethan either. If you told him to quit his job for you, he’d do it. I’d do it too, Elizabeth. You’re our wife. I’m sorry I made this about me. I should have asked you why the money upset you. I just assumed it was about me.”
She held onto him. “You’re my constant. I’m losing that now too. I’m scared I won’t survive it. Before you both, I was perfectly fine alone. Now…I can’t be me without both of you.”
He understood.
For the longest time, he tried to fit in, until he realized he simply had to be himself.
“Give me a second,” he said, letting her go.
Elizabeth watched as he pulled off his suit jacket, tossed it onto the chair, and started stripping down. When he got to the tank top beneath his dress shirt and boxers, he smiled at her.
“You don’t only have to have tonight, Lyzee. You can have this all the time. You only had to tell me. I’d do anything to make you happy. If this is all you want in life, then I’m more than happy to be that man for you.”
“I want Callen James Whitefox. I want the man you were when I met you that first day. I love that you’re a writer, but I love even more that you’re down to earth. You’re the only one who keeps me balanced. With you, Callen, I get to be me.”
“Then be you.”
She moved toward him. When he opened his arms, she jumped into them and held on. Their lips met, and there was that heat that always existed there.
“Oh, angel,” he muttered, as she tried to climb into his body by way of his mouth.
It was the hottest thing ever.
She buried her hands in his ponytail as her mouth
did crazy things to his. Callen could feel his body reacting to her pressed to him.
“I promise to have nights like this with you all the time. They will be beer, pizza, and a scary movie,” he vowed after breaking the kiss.
“This is the real me, Callen. I need someone to love this side of me too. I need someone to think the brash, rough around the edges woman is worthy.”
“Angel, she’s more than worthy. She’s my all.”
“Show me. I need to find her again. Show me you still love her,” she whispered. “Please. I’m afraid I’m losing you both to the world.”
He could do better than that.
Callen would take them both on one hell of a trip.
Carrying her to the balcony outside the penthouse doors, he held her in his arms as they made out on the ledge.
She never even flinched when he placed her on the edge. When he released her mouth, he stared into her eyes. “What you’re feeling now, is how you make my heart feel each time we touch. I feel like I’m looking out over the world. I feel like I can fly.”
She trusted him not to let her go.
No matter what would happen in life, she believed in him.
“Callen.”
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. When I see you, and all those freckles, my heart skips in my chest. I want you more and more each day, Elizabeth.”
She touched his cheek.
“I’d die without you. Screw the money. Screw the books. I need you in my life. I’ll change for you. After these next two books, I’ll retire. Jackson James will disappear, and Callen Whitefox will be here for his partner and wife.”
She leaned into his body and left a kiss on his lips. “Just be you. He’s the man I love.”
He pulled her into his body, and they dropped down onto a chaise. Callen knew it was chilly out there, but he didn’t care. The wind was whipping, and the stars were out.
He wanted this moment.
She needed it.
Pulling off her pajama top, he found her naked beneath. Immediately, he went rock hard.
“Jesus! This always amazes me.”
“What?” she asked, as her hair whipped wildly around her in the wind.
Act of Blood (An FBI/Romance Thriller ~ Book 16) Page 13