In an Instant (Lifetime Book 1.5)

by Ariadne Wayne

  “I’ll walk you out.” I could handle that. Right?

  We got as far as the kitchen, and Sam stopped to shake hands with Matt. “I really want to thank you for everything today. You both could have reacted so differently to me turning up.”

  “It was always going to happen at some point. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life being an irresponsible jerk.”

  I stared at Matt. His lips curled into a smug smile.

  “I don’t even have a comeback for that. It’s pretty accurate.” Sam laughed.

  He pushed open the door leading out toward the car, and I followed, flicking on the outside light as I went through.

  We walked in silence off the deck, covering the short distance to the car.

  “So, you’re going home in the morning?” I asked.

  “I might just pop in and say goodbye. If that’s okay?” Sam shuffled his feet in the gravel, looking at his shoes. “Thank you. Thanks for being so understanding.”

  I sucked in my top lip and let my breath out slowly. “You’re welcome. Come by in the morning for breakfast. Maybe around eight? Thanks for not pushing Finn.”

  He shook his head. “You don’t ever need to worry about that. The only person who would be hurt by that is Finn, and I’m not about to screw up my own son’s life.”

  “You’re a good man, Sam Mason.” The words were out before I could stop them. I even almost meant them.

  He shrugged. “Maybe now. If I was a truly good man, I would never have hurt you. I’m such an idiot, Ella. You were the best part of my life, and I wrecked everything. But out of all the people in the world you could have ended up with, I’m glad it’s Matt. I know for a fact he’ll go to his grave loving you.”

  I nodded, smiling through the gathering tears. I thought speaking to him again would be hard, but it was easy. For the first time in I didn’t know how long, he was honest with me.

  “I hope you can work something out with him. He misses you,” I croaked.

  “All I can do is try. Right?” His expression was pained as he watched me struggle, and he covered the three steps between us, wrapping me in his embrace until the tears stopped.

  “I loved you so much. I’m so sorry for all the pain I caused you,” he whispered.

  “I’m just glad you’ve learned. Maybe the next woman you convince to marry you will be the right one.” I laughed.

  “You were the right one. Matt’s a lucky man. If anyone knows that it’s me.”

  My breath caught. Here I was in his arms, and he was full of kindness and caring. All I’d had was concern that he was going to throw our lives into disarray. Any romantic love I’d had for him had gone.

  “Sam …”

  “It’s okay, Ella. I’m not hitting on you. I know that ship has long since sailed, and it’s my own fault.” He let me go, holding onto my arms. “You found your happiness, and that makes me happy.” Pecking me on the cheek, he dropped his arms to his sides. “See you tomorrow.”

  I nodded. “Sure thing.”

  Sam opened his car door, waving as he closed it behind him. I wiggled my fingers in a half-hearted wave, not sure how to feel about that conversation. He’d grown up since I’d seen him last, finally taking responsibility for his actions. It was something I didn’t know I’d ever see.

  He started the car, and giving me a final wave, drove back toward the road.

  Lost in thought, I didn’t see Matt at first, standing in the doorway and watching me with a sad expression on his face. He grinned when I ran, launching myself at him, and he spun me around in the entranceway to the house.

  “I don’t know what you talked to Sam about, but seeing you in his arms again …”

  I pressed my lips to his, leaning in hard against him. He tasted so good, like he always did. He was all mine.

  “He told me he was glad that you were the one I ended up with. He knows you love me.”

  Matt’s eyebrow quirked, and his mouth twisted.

  “I told him just how much you miss him.”

  He slid his hands down my back, giving me the smallest smile. “Is that right?”

  “You know you do. I’m not saying you should be best friends. The last person I want around here all the time is my ex, but I understand. He misses you, too. All I know is that I ended up with the right one.”

  At that he grinned, kissing me again, making me weak at the knees as he held me tight. There was only one way this night was heading.

  The best way.

  Later that night, I kissed Matt’s chest, breathing in that clean, soapy smell. We’d showered before climbing into bed together, and he’d been as tender and loving as he always was. Sometimes the emotion overwhelmed me, bringing tears to my eyes, but I wouldn’t have things any other way.

  “So?” He planted a kiss on the top of my head, and I raised my gaze to meet his.

  “What?”

  “This. Sam. How are you feeling about it all?”

  I shrugged. “He seems to have good intentions, and he did as he said. How are you feeling about it?”

  He let out a sigh, and I dipped my head, his chest rising and falling as he took deep breaths.

  “Matt,” I whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “It’s okay if you miss him.”

  He raised his hand to my chin, tilting my face back up. “Is it?”

  “He struck a nerve with you. If anyone can see that, it’s me.”

  In the dimly lit room, he smiled with that so-in-love-with-me smile that made me all goopy inside. “I didn’t realise it until today, but I do miss him,” he said.

  Pushing myself up to kiss him tenderly, I reached to stroke his cheek. “Well, like I said, you don’t have to be best friends with him again, but if you want to spend some time with him, it’s okay with me.”

  Matt’s smile grew. “Have I told you lately just how incredible you are?”

  I shrugged. “You can always tell me again.”

  He switched off the lamp, and I dropped my head to his chest again, closing my eyes. After the bad dream the night before, the day had turned out not so awful after all. I just hoped Sam would keep his word.

  I yawned. It had been an exhausting day, reliving memories of times that hadn’t been so pleasant. Sleep overtook me as I nestled in the arms of my husband.

  In the night, I woke, snuggling up to Matt’s pillow, the bed empty. The sheets were cool. He’d been gone for some time.

  “Matt?” I sat up, flicking on the bedside lamp.

  Grabbing my bathrobe from the chair beside the bed, I walked down the hallway, digging my toes into the plush grey carpet along the way.

  I found Matt in Finn’s bedroom. He lay on top of the quilt with Finn’s head resting on his chest. Both were fast asleep. For a moment, I stood and watched them, the room glowing faintly from the night light on the wall.

  It didn’t matter what happened with Sam; Matt was Finn’s father, as far as he was concerned. Had I done the right thing not telling Sam? I still didn’t know the answer.

  Finn was happy, and that was all that mattered to me.

  I turned, opening the hall cupboard and taking out a woollen blanket. Matt would be frozen if he stayed there all night, and I tiptoed into the bedroom, gently placing the blanket over him.

  Our bed might be cold without him, but he was clearly where he needed to be, taking care of our boy.

  With a smile on my face, I sneaked back to our bedroom, slipping off my bathrobe and climbing back into bed.

  Snuggling under the covers, I closed my eyes.

  Everything was still perfect.

  5

  ELLA

  I woke shortly before four to Matt climbing in bed beside me. Without a word, he took me in his arms and kissed me deep.

  “I guess you found me, then.”

  “The bed was cold.” I nuzzled his cheek, prompting a deep rumble of a laugh.

  “I promise I’ll make it up to you. Finn came in here when he woke up; I wanted to get him ba
ck off to sleep without disturbing you.” Matt dropped his head to my neck, planting kisses that left me gasping.

  “I understand. I’ve been there.” I shifted my head to meet his lips with mine.

  “Ella.” He gripped my hair in that possessive move of his I knew so well. If I hadn’t already been panting for him, that would have done it. I was his, and he wanted to make sure I knew it.

  I was lost in the love I held for Matt, the love that overrode everything else. As he unbuttoned my shirt, sliding it from my shoulder, planting kisses on the exposed skin, all I could think about was how this man was my life. There was no better start to the morning. I was still in the warm glow of him when he left to milk the cows.

  A little after eight, Sam was as good as his word, the crackle of gravel under the wheels of his car signalling his arrival. Finn and Georgia were already up and dressed, and I stood at the stovetop, scrambling eggs for breakfast as he knocked on the door.

  “I’ll get it.” Matt stood. There hadn’t been any disasters this morning stopping him from coming straight back from milking, and he’d been sitting at the table keeping me company while the kids played in the living room. His hand brushed my back as he walked past, and I turned my head to see his reassuring smile.

  “Smells like I arrived just in time.” Sam grinned, stepping into the kitchen as Matt ushered him in the door.

  “Ella makes enough to feed an army. You’re welcome to join us.” Matt stepped past him, wrapping his arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck.

  “Thanks.” Sam walked past us toward the table, grinning as he spotted Finn and Georgia in the living room.

  “Sam!” Finn ran toward him, grabbing hold of his hand and tugging him toward the big Lego structure he’d been working on with his sister. As they disappeared from sight, my chest tightened.

  “You okay?” Matt murmured in my ear.

  I leaned my head against his. “I’ll be fine.”

  “I can stir this. You go take a look.” He placed his hand on mine, pulling at the wooden spoon until I surrendered it to him.

  I slipped out from his embrace, turning and kissing him on the cheek. “Have I told you lately just how incredible you are?”

  Matt grinned, shrugging. “You can always tell me again.”

  I took the few steps to the arch through to the living room, smiling at the sight of Georgia happily building a tower while her brother issued instructions. Sam sat to the side, just watching. His eyes met mine, and the conflict was so clear in them.

  He dropped his gaze, and I looked back over my shoulder at Matt. While stirring the eggs, his eyes were on me, and he winked, my lips smiling before I knew what I was doing.

  Love you. He mouthed the words, waggling his eyebrows.

  Love you, too. I mouthed back.

  “Eggs are nearly ready. I’ll just pop some bread in the toaster and we’ll get seated,” Matt announced.

  I looked back toward the living room, meeting Sam’s eyes again. He forced a smile. This wasn’t exactly the most comfortable situation.

  “Want a hand serving up?” I asked, turning and taking a step toward Matt.

  “I’ll be fine. Get the kids seated and I’ll take care of everything.”

  I blew him a kiss, grinning at the smile on his face, my heart swelling at the look of love he gave me. I’d always wondered how I’d never seen it before he’d admitted his feelings.

  “Finn, Georgia, breakfast is ready,” I said.

  Georgia dropped the blocks on the floor, taking a running jump at me. I laughed, scooping her into my arms and twirling her around.

  Finn grabbed Sam’s hand, pulling him toward the table. My anxiety over him being here had lifted the more time he spent without rocking the boat.

  “Hope everyone’s hungry.” Matt carried a plate in each hand, one with toast which he placed in the centre of the table, the other with eggs which he placed in front of me. He leaned over, kissing me on the lips. “You first.”

  “Do you need help with anything, Matt?” Sam’s words nearly made me choke on my first bite. It wasn’t until after we’d broken up that I’d realised just how much I’d run around after him. He’d helped from time to time, but most of the effort was mine.

  “Nearly done. I’ll just get the kids’ plates and then ours.” Matt placed the bowls in front of Georgia and Finn.

  “Yummy,” Georgia declared.

  “It does look good, doesn’t it? I bet it tastes good too.” Sam grinned as Matt returned with Sam’s plate and his own. “Thanks, mate.”

  Matt sat at the end of the table, between Sam and I. His foot hooked around my leg as he smiled at me. He made what could be such an uncomfortable situation so easy to get through.

  “Maybe next time we can grab a beer. There’s that little pub Ella and I used to go to up the road from here.” Sam spoke between mouthfuls, glancing up at Matt.

  That was weird, him talking about our former life like that. There’d be a bit of that to get used to. It wasn’t like our past didn’t exist anymore.

  “We’ll see,” Matt said. I itched to ask him what he was thinking, but it would have to wait. He was so good at hiding how he was really feeling, which always surprised me, given what an open man he could be. There was nothing we hid from one another—nothing we needed to hide.

  “You’re going to make me work for this, aren’t you?” From the tone of Sam’s voice, he wasn’t angry at Matt’s brush-off. He sounded determined. I guess he just wanted his friend back.

  Matt stopped eating, meeting Sam’s gaze. “I just want to make all the right decisions for my family.”

  Sam swallowed hard, his grin vanishing as his expression grew serious.

  “I don’t want to hurt anyone in all of this. All I want is to earn your trust again.”

  Matt took another bite, shaking his head. He chewed for a few seconds before swallowing. “That’s going to be a tough thing to get through. You lied to me. You lied to us.”

  I licked my lips, looking between them. Matt’s focus was back on his plate. Sam’s on Matt. Finn and Georgia were engrossed in their food. “I think we need to save this conversation for another time. I don’t think the kids need to hear this.”

  Matt nodded, reaching for me, raking his fingers into my hair and pulling my face to his in the most possessive move he’d made since Sam had appeared. He brushed his lips against mine. “You’re right. Sorry.”

  Drops of egg hit the back of my hand where it rested on the table, combined with the sound of Georgia giggling, it wasn’t hard to work out that she was responsible.

  “Georgia.” I said.

  She pointed across the table at Finn, whose face was distorted as he pushed his fingers down on his cheeks, pursing his lips, his lower eyelids drooping.

  I shook my head. “You two are diabolical. Eat your breakfast.”

  Sam ruffled Finn’s hair. “Dude. That is not a good look at the table. You need to poke your tongue out as well.” At that he mimicked Finn’s face-pulling, combining it with his tongue hanging out.

  I tried so hard to keep a straight face, but as the two of them sat there, identical looks on their faces, I fought the urge to smile.

  Matt lost it, laughing loudly at the pair of clowns sitting at the side of the table.

  “Do you think we should stop?” Sam asked Finn.

  Finn nodded, placing his hands at his sides, a big grin on his face. When Sam followed suit, for just a moment Finn resembled his father so much it brought tears to my eyes. It had never been so clear.

  “Ell, you okay?” Sam asked.

  In an instant, I had Matt’s arm around me, rubbing my shoulder.

  I nodded. “I’m fine. You two just …”

  “I saw it too,” Matt murmured, kissing my ear.

  “What are you two talking about?” Sam looked between us, obviously complete confused.

  “Not now,” I said, nodding toward Finn who was spooning the last of his breakfast into his mouth.

&n
bsp; Sam frowned, looking back down at his plate.

  “I need a coffee. Anyone else?” Matt stood.

  “Sounds great. Sam?” I asked.

  Sam raised his head, meeting my eyes. He nodded, uncertainty written all over his face.

  “I’ll grab some juice for the kids too.” Mugs clattered together as Matt took them out of the cupboard, and I took a bite of my breakfast. It was almost cold; I’d been watching what was going on around the table for so long.

  “Finished,” Finn yelled, his sister erupting into giggles again.

  “Good boy. Do you want a drink?”

  He shook his head. “Can I play with the Lego?”

  “Glad my present is proving to be popular.” Sam laughed.

  I rolled my eyes. “Go on then.” I turned to Georgia. “Do you want to go too?”

  Her mouth was stuffed with food, but she swallowed it all down, nodding.

  Bending, I kissed her on the top of the head. “You can if you want.”

  Neither of them had to be told twice, wriggling off their chairs and running back to the tower they’d been building.

  “Ella, if I did something before, I’m sorry.”

  I shifted my gaze from the departing children back to Sam. “It wasn’t you. When you and Finn were pulling faces, I saw how much he does look like you. I never really saw it before.”

  “Do you think?” He sat up straight, looking toward the living room wistfully.

  “It was very clear. Just shook me a little.”

  “I guess the last thing you ever wanted was a reminder of me.”

  Matt sat back down, placing a cup of coffee in front of me. The other two he carried in one hand, extricating Sam’s from his fingers and giving it to him before taking a sip of his own.

  “It’s not that. I mean, the time we had together was good for a long time. It’s just that with not having seen you in so long, I guess I couldn’t see the resemblance.”

  “I saw it too, Sam. Ella wasn’t seeing things.” Matt grinned.

  Sam nodded, a smile spreading on his face. “That’s cool. I’m really glad I came. I made a couple of false starts coming to see you two. I was sure you’d tell me where to go.”

  “We always knew it would happen one day. You just had to grow up.” Matt took another sip of his coffee, coughing as Sam pushed his arm.