by Adele Clee
When he covered her naked body and pressed her down into the bed, she felt safe. When he filled her with each deep thrust, everything felt right again. A slower, more intimate expression of their love followed the frantic, lust-fuelled coupling. Both activities brought a soul-deep level of satisfaction. Both activities worked to relax them, to banish the anger and fear.
They lay together in sated silence, but Grace’s thoughts were jumbled and chaotic. The curtain blew back and forth through the hole in the smashed window, and she shivered.
“I have something important to tell you,” she said as she snuggled closer to Elliot’s chest. “And I don’t know how to begin.”
Elliot rolled onto his side to face her, brushed the hair from her cheek. “Nothing could be as shocking as what I have witnessed tonight.”
Grace sighed. “We went to visit Herr Bruhn. He takes care of the orphan children of the village, with Ivana’s help and support.” When his mouth twitched at the mere mention of her name, Grace said, “Just listen to me for a moment before you say anything.”
Elliot smirked, a mischievous glint flashing in his eyes. “If my anger flares will you soothe it away with your soft hands? Will you caress me and stroke me until I forget what roused my ire?”
“I will do all of those things and more if you will just listen to what I must tell you.”
“Now you have my full attention.”
She thought it best to come straight to the point. “As I said, Ivana supports the children. They are the offspring of English lords who frolic with tavern wenches, with desperate women from the village.” Grace sucked in a breath, placed the palm of her hand over his heart. “That is why she bit you. To stop gentlemen like you fathering more children here.”
“Bloody hell!” he cursed. “I suspected that was the reason.” He fell silent for a moment while he contemplated her words. “I’ve never professed to be a saint, Grace. But I have always been careful in that regard.”
“You were not careful enough, Elliot.” She waited while he absorbed her words.
“Not careful?” he repeated, the faint lines across his brow growing more prominent. “What are you saying?”
She pressed her lips to his, pulled away and looked deeply into his brown eyes. “You have a son here,” she whispered. “A beautiful boy aged three. He lives with Herr Bruhn. Ivana reads to him and tucks him up in bed every night.”
He stared at her for the longest time, gulped and swallowed as he tried to speak. “Did … did the golden-haired devil tell you this?”
“I knew the moment I saw him sleeping so sweetly in his bed. He is like you in so many ways. Ivana merely confirmed what I suspected.”
He rolled onto his back, covered his eyes with his arm; his chest heaved as he struggled to control his breathing.
Grace knew he needed a little time to come to terms with what she had said. Throwing back the sheets, she climbed out of bed and pottered around the room. “I’ll drape a blanket over the window. We cannot risk the morning sun streaming through.”
“Come here. Come back to bed.”
Grace turned to face him. Her heart lurched at his tortured expression, but she knew she must not surrender her body to him. “My touch will not banish the ghosts this time, my love. You must embrace your emotions. You must examine your heart and your conscience.”
She could not ease his torment. She could not tell him how to react or what to do. If he made the wrong decision, if he chose to ignore his responsibilities then a part of her would not forgive him.
“I do not know what to think or feel.” He sat up, leant back against the pillow and dragged his palm down his face. “Who … where is his mother?”
“You must ask Ivana. You need to hear the story from her lips. Then you must meet your son. Only then will you know what to do. Only then will the answer become clear to you.”
He stared at her, his eyes conveying many unspoken words. “I … I don’t want to lose you.”
Graced rushed over to the bed. She tried to kiss away all of his doubts and fears. “You will never lose me, Elliot. We are bound together. Know that I will support you if you decide to take your son home.”
Elliot shook his head as his gaze drifted over her face. “You are a shining light in a world full of misery.”
Grace smiled. “And you are the most honest, kind and generous man I have ever known. Tomorrow we are to go to the castle. Ivana said we have many things to discuss. Listen to her, open your heart to your friend and brother and allow him the freedom to be happy.”
“You do not ask for much,” he mocked.
“Anyone can express anger, but it takes strength and courage to show forgiveness. Understanding Ivana’s motives might help to ease your pain.”
Elliot remained silent for a moment while he considered her words, and then he nodded, his shoulders sagging as he surrendered. “I will not disappoint you. I will do what you ask. I will be the man you want me to be.”
“You’re already that man.” Despite her reservations, she pulled back the sheet and straddled his naked body. She gave a coy smile, knowing what he needed to help soothe his spirit. “Perhaps you could show me again how much I mean to you.”
His mouth curved up into a wicked grin. “It will be my pleasure.”
Chapter 13
As soon as Ivana’s carriage rattled over the castle’s cobblestone bridge, her solemn mood improved. Just knowing she would spend the night encased in Leo’s strong arms was enough to chase away all morbid thoughts of the children and the Bruhns.
Leo rushed to meet her in the courtyard. His shirt was untucked from his breeches, open at the neck to reveal bronze skin and a dusting of dark hair. His sinful brown eyes devoured her. She drank in the splendid sight knowing she had but a day or two left with him. Her heart sang only to his tune; her soul yearned for his touch. After years of fighting her feelings, years pretending she felt nothing, she wanted to release the trapped emotions, to give life to the words she longed to say.
She ran to him, threw herself into his arms, and kissed him frantically as she clawed at his muscular body. “I love you,” she whispered. “I have always loved you.”
It didn’t matter that he did not declare his feelings. There were huge gaps in his memory. She sensed his confusion, knew his heart was racked with guilt for betraying his friends.
Desire burst forth. The need to sate their ravaging hunger took hold.
He scooped her up into his arms, kicked the wooden door open with his boot. “I need you,” he growled. “I need you now.”
Leo held her tight to his chest as he marched through the corridors and up the curling stone staircase. She knew his eagerness to join with her also stemmed from a need to suppress all sombre thoughts. As soon as he set her down near the bed, they were tearing at clothes, stripping away layers, desperate for the comforting touch of warm skin.
“Make me remember,” he whispered as he sucked on the soft fleshy lobe of her ear, rained kisses down the column of her throat.
“Let us not think of the past anymore,” she replied breathlessly. They could not look to the future, either. “We will think only of this moment. We will make a new memory, one that will never be forgotten.”
Their last coupling had been urgent, fast and frenzied. They had drunk each other’s blood until their bodies tingled and thrummed. They had cried loud and long during their release.
“Wait,” she muttered as he covered her naked body, pressed her down into the plush mattress. “I want to savour this moment, Leo. I want you to imagine this is the last time we will be together.”
Ivana did not have to imagine. This would be their last time together. The memory would have to last her for a lifetime.
He propped himself up on one elbow, caressed her cheek with the palm of his hand. “You want it slow,” he said in the languid drawl that made her core pulse. “You want to feel every movement when I fill you.”
“Yes.” The word drifted through the room a
s though carried on a gentle breeze.
Sporting a wicked grin, he trailed the tips of his fingers along her collarbone, down the valley between her breasts. When he brushed lightly back and forth over her nipple, she arched her back as the sweet spot between her legs throbbed.
A soft moan escaped from her lips.
As he continued to stroke and tease her, she realised it was not what she needed. It was not pleasure she sought. She needed to feel at one with him. “I want to join with you. I don’t want to wait.”
Without needing any other prompt he nudged her legs apart, settled between her thighs and pushed home. Her soul sang in celebration. She hugged him tight, clamped around the solid length never wanting to let him go. With each measured thrust, he filled her full, the sensation causing waves of pleasure, waves of pure love to ripple through her body.
His heated gaze locked with hers. “Is this what you want, Ivana?” The words caressed her, the slow rhythmical rocking creating a more intimate, more emotional coupling.
“I … I want you, Leo. For now … for always.”
She drank in the sight of his full lips, parting with a groan as she drew him deeper. She memorised the golden flecks in his brown eyes, how they twinkled when glazed with desire. She inhaled his earthy masculine scent, let it surround her and seep into her skin.
They were as one — one body, one heart, one soul.
Nothing else mattered.
Feeling a sudden urge to claim him, to heighten his pleasure, she wrapped her legs tightly around his thighs and forced him to flip over. Straddling him whilst he sat up, she pressed her body close until her breasts were squashed against his chest. She rolled her hips, ground against him, the movement causing him to moan against her neck as he sucked and nipped the sensitive skin.
“God, Ivana, I can never get enough of you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and claimed his mouth. Each thrust of her tongue mimicked the movement of the most adept part of his anatomy. The temptation to rush almost overwhelmed her, but she maintained the pace. Strong hands settled on her buttocks to massage the soft flesh, to assist with each delicious slide.
If only they could spend every night like this. If only she could spend an eternity joined with him. Love caused her heart to swell; love caused the blood to pool hot and heavy between her legs. Love caused the tears to form, caused the pain in her throat.
Ivana kissed him one last time, licked his lips, tasted the essence of her one true mate. “Look at me, Leo.” She could feel the light pulling her forward. Soon she would be riding high on a wave of ecstasy.
Beneath hooded lids, he gazed into her eyes. “I’ll never leave you,” he groaned as his movements grew more frantic.
“Know that I … I will be with you always.”
“Oh, God.” His head fell back, and he closed his eyes. “This is heaven.”
“Look at me,” she whispered, contracting the muscles in her core.
He obeyed. They stared at each other, their silent communication revealing all that they felt in their hearts. Their release burst brightly, a glittering shower of pure love raining down upon them. If she lived a thousand lifetimes, no other man would ever make her feel so complete.
Ivana groaned when he withdrew, the sensation reminding her that they must soon part. They collapsed on the bed, and he pulled her into an embrace. Ivana put her head on his chest to listen to the rhythmical sound of his breathing. The dusting of dark hair tickled her cheek, and she inhaled deeply as his intoxicating masculine scent enveloped her. If she spent the rest of her days in the fiery pits of Hell, this moment would be enough to sustain her.
She closed her eyes to join him in feigned slumber, for sleep was a pleasure long since denied them. With her mind relaxed and body sated she could forget all about her troubles. In the blissful state, it was easy to imagine how wonderful it would be to spend every day in his arms.
Ivana.
Her name drifted into her thoughts, and she wondered if Leo had called out to her.
I am home, Ivana. I have returned to you.
The words hit her like the sudden slash of a whip: hard, quick, the sharp pain causing her to jump up from the bed.
“No!” she cried, unable to suppress the depths of her despair. “It can’t be true. Not now. Not yet.”
Leo opened his eyes with a start. “What … what is it?”
Naked, she scampered from the bed and raced over to the window, pushing her nose to the pane. Narrowing her gaze, she stared out into the night. The light from the full moon cut through the mist to cast an eerie silver sheen over the treetops. But she did not have to see anything to know that the Devil was nearing her door. The rattling of carriage wheels echoed through the valley, the sound a menacing warning of evil approaching.
She swung around to face Leo, knowing that her countenance reflected the horror that would soon unfold. “Quick. Quick. You must leave.” She could barely speak, barely breathe. “You must leave now and take your friends far away from this place.”
With a frown marring his handsome brow, Leo came to stand at her side, peered through the window at the carriage rumbling towards the bridge. “What is it, Ivana?”
“He has come home, Leo.” She fell to the floor in a terrified heap, the muscles in her legs no longer able to support her weight.
“Who, Ivana?” Leo pulled her up and held her tight, stroked her hair, but nothing could help soothe her fears now. “It is Nikolai. He has come home. You must leave. You must go now.”
“Who is he, Ivana?”
A sob burst from her lips. “Nikolai is my husband.”
Chapter 14
“Your husband!” Leo shook his head. He should have been shocked, utterly dumbfounded. But he had always known there was a missing piece of the puzzle, another missing memory waiting to be discovered.
Ivana tugged at his arm. “Please, Leo. You must go. He cannot find you here again.”
“Again?”
“He will not let you live this time.” She clasped his face roughly between her palms, kissed him ten times or more in quick succession. His cheek felt damp from her tears. “Go. You must leave before it is too late.” She ran her hands over the muscles in his chest before pushing him back towards the door. “I love you.”
Leo stood and watched her thrust her arms into her robe, fumble with the rope ties, and straighten the sheets on the bed.
How could she expect him to leave after all that had happened between them? He had come to Bavaria expecting to die. To him, death was by far the more preferable option to spending a life alone.
“I’m not leaving.”
Ivana swung around, barely able to catch her breath. “Do not make me compel you to go. I will force you if I must.”
He marched over to her, his strides long and purposeful. “Then we will have a battle on our hands. You cannot expect me to forget all of this.” He waved his hand over the bed as he struggled to find adequate words to convey what they had shared. It went beyond the physical realm. It went beyond anything he could comprehend. “You cannot think I could walk away.”
“You must,” she implored. “Nikolai has borne the affliction for too long. He is stronger and more powerful than either of us.”
So Nikolai was the one responsible for turning her.
“Do you still care for him?” Leo narrowed his gaze. He struggled to form the next question though he knew he had to ask. “Do you love him, too?”
Ivana’s hand flew to her chest, and she took a step back. “Good heavens, no! I have never loved him. I have not seen him since the day you left three years ago. Before that, he has stayed here only a handful of times.”
What sort of husband lived separately from his wife?
“Then where has he been all this time?”
“I don’t know.”
Conscious of the look of panic etched on her face he asked, “I do not know the penalty for adultery in Bavaria, but is that what you fear?”
Iv
ana snorted. “Nikolai does not care about silly things like that. I mean nothing to him.”
Leo’s head felt heavy, weighed down with the burden of so many unanswered questions, so many overwhelming emotions. There were too many things to consider: her fears for Herr Bruhn and the children, his friendship with Elliot and Alexander, the depth of his affection for Ivana.
And now her husband had returned.
Ivana placed her palms on his chest. “If you care for me at all, then you must go.”
Leo was guilty of many things, but he was not a coward. “Tell me why? Why must I leave? Why can we not discuss the matter with him?”
“Because I cannot live in a world without you in it. Because I do not want you to die.”
“You want me to leave for selfish reasons, then?” Leo knew he had to be blunt if he had any hope of persuading her otherwise.
Her eyes grew wide. “Selfish? It is not selfish to want to save another’s life. It is not selfish to protect those you love.”
“It is selfish to go against a person’s wishes just to ease your pain and guilt.”
She swallowed visibly, opened her mouth and snapped it shut.
“I came here for revenge,” he continued. “If I’m to understand you correctly, Nikolai threatened to kill me once before, which is part of the reason you wiped my memory and forced me to leave. I was weak then, not so now.”
She rushed to the window and peered out. “You are not as strong as Nikolai.”
“Together we may have a chance against him.” Leo marched over to her, pulled her from the window and held her face between his hands. “I would rather die trying to save what we have here than live a life unloved and unfulfilled.”
She closed her eyes as her head fell forward to rest on his chest. “You make it sound so simple.”
“It is simple.” He stroked her hair to soothe her. “We share a soul-deep connection. The overwhelming ache I have for you in my chest will not be tempered. No other woman will ever be good enough for me. It is you, or it is no one.”