“The magic aspect…?” Christopher finished, feeling slightly dejected as he let out a small inaudible sigh. “Let me see… Your mother was my first kiss.”
“Gross…”
Christopher laughed and then continued, “I remember the last day that we were together as teens. I was so upset that we had to leave each other. I remember we spent every moment like it was our last…because, honestly, we didn’t know what the future had in store for us. She was moving out west and I as moving back to Illinois with Aunt Lynn. Part of me worried that we would never see one another again, and that broke my heart. Time passed, and I didn’t know where she was, or what she was doing—I would spend nights dreaming of her. When I was in school I would daydream about her, just seeing her once more and being with her again. I think about six years passed before I finally found her. I had almost given up.”
“I would have never been born.”
“That’s right,” Christopher said as he playfully messed up Alena’s hair. “But, in the end, we found each other again and it was like no time had passed at all. We didn’t talk much about the past or all the time that had gone by, we only cared about the future. We were so happy to be together again. I think two years later we married, and then we had you. We were so happy to be starting our life, to be starting a family of our own. You see, her mother had passed away a month before you were born, so in a way it was just the three of us. That, though, that was enough—we were a family and that was all that mattered.”
“How many times did the two of you come back here?”
“I think about eight times,” Christopher said as he mentally counted all the times through the years. “We, very begrudgingly, left you with Aunt Lynn for the weekend and we would come down and see the house and the old cave… You don’t remember her because I think when you were around three she passed as well.”
“If everything was perfect,” Alena said as she stared off into the direction of the woods. “Why did you need to come back?”
“My brother,” Christopher said as he nodded. “We always thought there was a possibility that we would see him again. I used to send him letters—address to the cave. I don’t know if he ever got any of them. I don’t even know how the post office handled them. I eventually stopped.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Enough time had passed,” Christopher began as he scratched a bit of scruff beneath his chin. He had not shaved since his arrival to Pine Hollow on the account that he had completely forgotten to bring a razor. “I got busy with work. Just like with you, I got really bad at keeping promises.”
“Do you still miss him?”
“I always will,” Christopher said sadly. “I mean it doesn’t hurt. At least, not like it does with…you know. I’ll always miss him though.”
“Do you want to go back and look one more time?”
“I don’t… I don’t think there’s anything for me out here,” Christopher said as he came to grips with the sad truth. “I don’t want to put you through that again—I already doubt so much about the past.”
“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” Alena asked as a touch of sadness filled her usually soft voice. “I made you doubt. I wouldn’t mind seeing it one last time.”
“It is not your fault,” Christopher said as he shook his head. “It’s healthy to doubt sometimes. “I’ve been there twice now; I think it’s time I let go.”
“Did you ever hear the expression that the third time is the charm?”
“Only about a hundred times more than you have,” Christopher said with a short laugh.
“That’s because you’re about a hundred times older than I am,” Alena playfully said as she smiled.
It was nice to see Alena smile again. After all that they had both been through, to Christopher her smile was like a sunrise breaking through a particular long and dark night.
As it grew late into the night, Alena and Christopher eventually returned into the empty house. Christopher walked Alena upstairs and tucked her into his own bedroom. He understood well why Alena would have reservations about sleeping in the old room; Face’s presence at her feet would be greatly missed. As she changed into her nightgown, Christopher picked up his old stuff dog Fred.
“It’s all up to you now,” Christopher spoke sternly to the old stuffed animal. “I’m counting on you to watch over Allie in her sleep. You got that.”
“You know you’re talking to stuffed dog right?”
“He listens,” Christopher said as he pointed a finger to the stuffed dog and began to poke him in the stomach. “That’s right, isn’t it? Not talking… Don’t think you’re fooling anyone.”
“Don’t abuse him,” Alena said with a short laugh as she grabbed the dog from her father’s hand and wrapped her arms tightly around Fred.
“Good night Allie,” Christopher said as he eyed the empty spot by her feet once more.
“Dad…?”
“Yeah…? Christopher replied as he paused by the door.
“Everything’s going to be alright, isn’t it?”
“I think so,” Christopher said as he nodded.
“When are we going to go home?” Alena whispered as she pulled the cover up to her chin.
“Give me another day,” Christopher said as he looked to Alena and grew saddened once more. “I just need to be away from the house for a bit longer…”
“It’s okay,” Alena said as she nodded. “I still feel like she’s there too.”
Christopher choked back tears as he looked away to the door. It took all the strength he had not to break down in front of her. “If you need anything,”
“I’ll yell,” Alena said as she rolled onto her side to face the wall.
Christopher walked down the narrow stairs and passed through the living room. He paused in front of an old door that had not been opened in nearly six years, Bones’s old room. He was apprehensive to sleep in this bed—it reminded him too much of the time he and Kylie spent here. As he opened up the door a sigh of the room exhaled and a small breeze pushed against him. Much like the rest of the house, a small layer of dust covered the old dresser where an old black and white picture of Bones and Catharine stood. Christopher ran his finger against the edge, clearing away a bit of the dust, and picked up the old frame. It had been so long he almost forgot what Bones’s face looked like; he hated how time was so cruel in that way.
Setting the picture down, he moved his attention to the bed. He stripped the dust covered top blanket tossed it to the floor. He then turned off the light and crawled into the bed which was dimly lit by the full moon through the un-curtained window. The bed was familiar. It was far too big for him. He wondered if Bones felt the same way after Catharine had died. It took a good while to get accustomed to the bed. For a moment, he thought he caught her scent against the pillow. He was exhausted. With a heavy heart he finally accepted his need to sleep.
Chapter 5: Christopher and Kylie
I once had love and it did not need to be defined, it simply was.
The early morning sun filtered in through the window of the old bedroom in a subdued grey tone. The morning air was cool against Christopher’s skin, having only slept beneath the comfort of a single sheet—a decision that he regretted as his throat felt coarse and sore. Christopher’s eyes sleepily adjusted to the muted tone of the new morning. He rolled slightly in bed and for a moment he caught a glimpse of a form beside him.
Christopher’s mind snapped awake. His heart pounded like an urgent drum in his chest. He reached out to the form. As his fingertips came into contact with the soft bare skin, the form turned in response. Through the dull illumination he could make out the familiar features, the soft curve of her small nose, her large blue eyes, and her slender face.
“Kylie…” Christopher whispered as he gently ran a hand through her long dark hair, which covered up one of her sparkling eyes, and carefully pushed it aside as though she were made of the most fragile, beautiful glass.
Kylie smi
led wide with soft pink lips as she placed her hand over his.
Christopher felt warmth in abundance. She looked just as she did the last time they stayed here at Bones’s old house. This was impossible—this was what he was searching so desperately for. So many thoughts passed through his mind as a great sadness overwhelmed him.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Christopher spoke as she continued to stare into his eyes. “I can’t do this without you. I can’t raise our daughter alone, please come back with me. Whatever form you are in now—it doesn’t’ matter. All that matters is that we are together again.”
“Christopher…” Kylie finally spoke in her soft, gentle tone. “I’m not here anymore.”
As those few words escaped her lips, Christopher began to feel her pull away. Her naked form fell from the bed and disappeared over the side. Moments later, her hand popped back up as though she was silently crying out for help. Christopher reached both hands to hold desperately onto her. All around him, water seeped in from cracks that grew against the surface of the walls. Pieces of the eggshell wall came crashing down all around him, revealing an earthen stone wall. The bed beneath him faded into the floor. All at once, he was transported to Alena’s cave. His knees were wet with water as he found himself precariously attempting to hold Kylie from falling over the edge of the waterfall and into the darkness.
“I’ve got you,” Christopher said as he attempted to leverage himself against the slippery surface and shift his weight to his favor. Water from the ground was making his hands wet, and, even worse, slick. “I won’t let you fall, I promise—I love you.”
Kylie simply looked back to Christopher and smiled. She made no attempt to reach out with her other hand. “I’ll always love you.”
Christopher could feel her hand slipping away. He knew that if he lost hold of her it meant certain death.
“James!” Christopher shouted. James had saved her once from falling in the past—surely he would not let it happen this time. “Please… James! I need your help!”
As Kylie’s fingers slipped away from Christopher, she silently fell into the darkness. There was no magic bird to catch her, no last minute rescue. Once again, Christopher lost her—he had her, he had tried so hard. In the end, there was nothing that he could do.
“Kylie…” Christopher whispered as he broke down into tears and began to stare into his empty hands. “I’m sorry… I’m so worthless. I should have been the one that died.”
As he stood up against the slippery cave floor, he peered over the edge into the darkness. A soft light appeared from within the rippling surface of the water far below. It slowly grew bright and brighter until it blinded him. The cave around him slowly cracked and fractured as everything was engulfed in the destructive ambit of the glow. The light was upon him; he closed his eyes and raised his hands to protect himself from the unknown force. He felt the floor give way beneath him as he screamed in terror as he began to fall.
With a gasp of air and a jolt, Christopher awakened. He looked over to the empty spot in the bed beside him. Was it just a dream? Rather, a nightmare—and such a cruel one. A rush of disappointment filled his heart as he realized that, once again, he did not find what he so desperately felt he needed.
“Fuck,” Christopher said as he rammed his fist into the mattress. “Kylie… is there really no way I’ll see you again?”
A Window in the earth Revisted:2
Allie’s Story
Chapter 6: Alena’s Cave Revisited
Belief is at both times a burden and a comfort to those who have lost. To those that feel lost, to believe in something once more is sometimes as difficult as reaching the stars with a stepladder.
Alena heard the distant sounds of her father emerging from his room. She could hear the clank of the cup against the counter. She could smell the strange, yet alluring, smell of the coffee. Normally, Alena would already be up and would have eaten; she was used to caring for herself more these days. Today was Alena’s birthday—she wondered if her father even remembered that she was now eleven years old. He probably, did not. However, she did not blame him as much as she would have a few days ago.
Alena was smart for her age, and tall. At least that is what she was often told. She was a skinny girl, all arms and legs. Her long black hair fell to her back; her bangs were always getting into her eyes. She had gotten her mother’s blue eyes as opposed to her father’s brown. With her tanned skin she appeared to have gained more of her mother’s features rather than her father—she often wondered if her dad had a hard time dealing with her because she kinda looked like her mother, especially in old photos that she had seen.
Alena was a very depressed girl, and rightfully so. After all, it had only been a few months since she had tragically lost her mother in a way that she could not fully understand. It was like her mother was there, and all of sudden, she just…wasn’t. Her friend, and babysitter, Alice had lost her father. They would talk about it from time to time. Alice got to say goodbye, Alena was jealous of that. Although, whenever Alice would talk about it, she would say how terrible it all was. Alice’s father was injured on a construction site and his body was mangled. Alena could understand that kind of death. As terrible as it sounded, it made sense to her. Just dropping dead, without warning, made absolutely no sense to her and terrified her. If it could happen to her mother, surely it could happen to her, her father, or anyone. It happened to Face, after all. Alena looked to the empty spot by her feet. She could feel the sadness welling up inside of her. Wasn’t it enough that she had lost her mother? Did face have to die so suddenly as well, without warning?
The thoughts that troubled her the most, lately all dealt with her father. She felt slightly better after he finally opened up to her and talked again like a normal person the night before—however, she still had her doubts. He seemed to be acting crazy. She did not doubt that he believed that this place was magic; after all, Alena understood how loss could make you want to believe in something wonderful again. Sometimes, Alena would wake up and just expect her mother to be there. She missed their breakfast conversations. She missed everything. Alena never knew that such sadness could happen to her—of course she had seen terrible things on the news, or learned about tragedy in books and class, however, it never seemed real. In a way it still did not seem real. She wanted to believe her father—believe that she would get to see her mother again here. As the days passed, she began to realize though that there was nothing here for her. Her father had drug her out into the middle of nowhere to relive memories of his own. She did not blame him for his selfishness; it was not in her nature. However, she was frustrated and disappointed that he did not think about her feelings more. She understood that he needed this; she just hoped that she would not lose him to madness—for she could take no more losses.
Alena stepped out of her nightgown and dressed into a pair of tight fitting blue jeans. She pulled her socks up high—she had a fear of ticks and counted herself lucky that she had not come into contact with any thus far. She pulled a blue shirt with black stripes over her head and opened the door to the room. She peeked in the hallway, for a moment she thought she caught a glimpse of Face slipping down the staircase. She thought for a moment to give chase, but her mind knew better. She walked down the stairs and entered into the kitchen. Her father sat upon the barstool drinking a cup of coffee and picking at a bowl of canned ravioli as he looked off into the distance through the large picture window.
“You’re such a weirdo…” Alena announced as she placed her elbows upon the counter.
Christopher turned in his chair and smiled. “I thought you’d be up early—although you did manage to sneak up on me pretty well.”
Alena had a talent for walking very light-footedly. She would often use this to her advantage by sneaking up on Alice and scaring her for her own amusement.
“Can I fix you something for breakfast Allie?”
“We still got oatmeal?” Alena asked. She had been nicknamed Allie fo
r as far back as she could remember. Although her mother used to call her “Allie Jay,” her father simply used “Allie.” She did miss the playful or stern way her mother would say her name—in a way she was glad that her father did not use it as well.
“Yes… Enough for the month luckily, neither your mother nor I were really fans,” Christopher said as he brought down a bowl and filled it with water.
“We’re not going to be here for a month are we?” Alena asked. Hopefully they would not be here much longer. She missed the comforts of her home. She missed the familiarity of it. Even though there was so much that reminded her of her mother, it was still a much more comforting place than this creepy old house.
“I’ve decided,” Christopher began as he put a bowl of apples and cinnamon oatmeal into the microwave. “…that we will leave tomorrow.”
“Really..?” Alena asked in disbelief. She wondered what had changed. “Are we still going to the cave?”
“We can go today,” Christopher said as he set the bowl in front of her and patted a hand against the barstool next to him. “But, it will be purely out of just seeing a place that your mother and I spent a lot of time in. No magic-just one last trip into the old cave. Then we’ll stay one last night, leave early in the morning.”
“That’s awesome,” Alena said as she cracked a smile and began to eat the oatmeal. Apples and cinnamon was not her favorite, however she did not object. She was too busy being pleased with the idea that they would not be here much longer. “I mean, you’re okay with that though… you’re alright with going home?”
“I think so,” Christopher said as he looked sad. “I just know that staying here is pointless… Coming here was probably pointless.”
“It wasn’t dad,” Alena said as she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I mean I don’t love the place or anything, but it was nice to see where you and mom met. It was nice to hear the stories…”
Window in the Earth Trilogy Page 52