by Dahlia Rose
* * * *
“Karen, I’m having crisis,” Nicole said into the phone as she paced her friend and confidant’s office.
She’d come into the city for her doctor’s appointment and decided to pay Karen a visit at the shelter, plus drop off cookies and cakes for the women and children that stayed there. Her life had been going great. The baby was growing like a weed and already sleeping through the night. She had four new web design contracts that would refill her savings account nicely. Jules’s colic was gone and she swore he was starting to smile already. Max had gone back to work after two weeks leave. His hand was healed and in those two weeks they were practically inseparable. She’d met Jones, his wife, and kids, and they shopped for and picked out the costumes they’d be wearing to the family’s Halloween party. He was always at her house or they went out together for dinner with Jules in his car seat. When they kissed, it was like lava was building up inside her that needed to be released. Each time she pulled away it was because of the fact that she couldn’t have sex until the doctor cleared her. That final barrier was taken away today and now she was in a panic.
“What, is Jules okay? Are you?” Karen asked in concern. She was holding the baby and cooing at him while talking with Nicole.
“We’re both fine, that’s the thing, the doctor gave me the green light for … you know,” Nicole explained.
Karen grinned. “You mean sex, as in sex with Max to be precise?”
Nicole nodded. “Yes, what do I do?”
“Do you want to have sex with said man?” Karen asked.
She nodded. “I really do.”
“Is protection in place for unwanted buns in said ovens?” Karen teased.
“Yes, it was placed two weeks ago, I’m using the IUD,” she answered.
“Then go for it,” Karen said. “If I was single with a Max I’d go for it.”
“What if I suck at it?” Nicole asked. “Derek used sex as a weapon and I just tuned out until he was done. When I got pregnant he wouldn’t touch me and that was a relief. Before that my last boyfriend wasn’t very good at it. Maybe it was me, maybe not them. I could suck at it!”
Karen sighed. “You had the wrong partners, trust me the right one will blow your mind. It’s like that with all women and you have to find that connection to really enjoy sex. Porn makes sex look like everyone is having fun but let me tell you when you find that one who makes your head swim, when he kisses you, it’s amazing.”
“He does make me all weak in the knees when he kisses me,” Nicole admitted.
Karen put the baby in his car seat and hugged her. “Max is the right one, I feel it in my old bones. So go get wild and feel what it’s really like to be loved.”
“Your bones or any other parts of you aren’t old,” Nicole said firmly. “I’ve never gotten wild, how do I do that?”
Karen patted her on the shoulder. “Take it slow sweetie, it will come to you.”
Nicole made a little sound of fear. “I don’t think I can do this, how do I seduce a guy?”
“You don’t have to seduce him, he’s already seduced, just be you and let whatever is supposed to happen do so naturally,” Karen explained.
“God, I feel like a teenager again,” Nicole said in frustration. “Great, now my milk is starting to run.”
Karen laughed. “Change the nursing pads in your bra and stand in front of the fan for a minute. Don’t get too flustered.”
Nicole spent a little more time with Karen and the ladies at the shelter before heading home. Max would be coming by after work and she wanted to make him dinner. She was happy with the fact that he liked her cooking and she could make him dinners. Over the weekend she and Jules would be staying with Max and she was actually looking forward to it. Jones and his wife would be babysitting so they could go out on the town for a nice dinner. In six weeks she’d found a boyfriend and new friends who were solid and family-oriented. It was a far cry from when she lived with Derek in the apartment over the club. There she felt like a hostage, stuck in a loop of parties she didn’t want to be attending and people who never seemed to leave.
It took an hour and a half to get home from Manhattan to Staten Island. The early afternoon traffic was crazy. At the apartment she got Jules out of his fall gear and sat to give him his feeding. After a round on each breast and a big burp she got him settled into his swing and set it to slow so he’d be lulled to sleep. She could watch him from her tiny kitchen as she made stuffing for the chicken. Nicole got everything together for jasmine rice and cheese with broccoli casserole. Her land line rang and she washed her hands quickly to answer it in case it was one of her clients.
“Hello,” she said.
“Nicole, this is Assistant District Attorney Hopewell,” the voice on the other end of the line said.
Her heart sank. If they were calling it was about Derek. “Yes, what can I do for you?”
“It’s not good. We have to inform you that Derek is getting out on bail before the trial, he got the money together,” ADA Hopewell said. “He’s made reference to knowing it was you who turned him in and how the case will never go in front of a jury. I think he may try to coerce you or use physical force to change your mind.”
“Can you arrest him for that? I-I have a son now and he could hurt us both,” Nicole spoke even though her lips felt numb. “You said I’d be protected, you promised.”
Hopewell sighed. “It wasn’t a direct threat so we can’t hold him. I can talk to the police to see if they can drive by your apartment, but it’s either that or put you and your son in a safe house. Do you have anyone you can stay with until trial? We’re still hoping he takes a plea deal and you won’t have to testify. We have the pictures and hospital statements about your abuse.”
“I have no fear of facing him in court, but what if he finds out where I live and comes after me or takes my son!” Nicole cried out.
“I understand. Listen, I’ll call Staten Island police right now and—”
Nicole cut him off. “Don’t bother, like always I’ll take care of this myself.”
She hung up, took a deep breath, and with shaking hands dialed Max’s number. He answered on the third ring.
“Hey honey, I’ll be on my way to you in five,” Max said.
“Max can you hurry please?” Nicole heard the tears in her own voice.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding concerned.
“The DA called, Derek is getting out on bail… H-he said he knows it’s me who turned him in and this case will never go to trial,” Nicole explained. She could feel that same fear and panic start to rise and the feelings clutched at her heart. “He may hurt me or take Jules.”
“Never, I’d kill him first,” Max snarled. She heard him breathe deep. “I’m on my way. Pack what you need, you’re coming home with me.”
“But, Max, I can’t just leave,” she tried to protest. “My work is finally back on track.”
“Bring your computer and whatever you want, I’m not debating the issue. He will not get his hands on you or Jules,” Max said firmly. “I’m bringing Jones. He can drive your car back to my place and get a cab home.”
“Okay, I’ll get stuff ready,” she answered, relieved that he didn’t listen to her and allow her to make the decision.
“Lights and sirens baby, we’ll be there in thirty,” Max said.
Nicole disconnected the call and closed her eyes. She wished it was all a bad dream. She wanted it over and done with. Was it so hard to get her life back?
True to his word, Max was there in thirty minutes. How many speed laws did he break to get to Staten Island in rush hour? Can he even use his lights and sirens on Staten Island? Apparently he could, because not only his truck pulled up but three squad cars from SIPD. She shook her head. She should have known he’d call in local authorities. Max was nothing if not thorough when it came to his job. As she opened the door he was running up the stairs with Jones on his heels. Max pulled her into his arms and held her so tight sh
e almost couldn’t breathe. It felt wonderful and she squeezed him back.
He looked down at her and kissed her gently. “Are you okay?”
“I am now that you’re here,” she admitted.
“I’ll never be anywhere else,” Max promised. “Let’s get you and my lil’ guy ready to go.”
Jones cracked his knuckles. “Show me what you’re taking.”
They took her desktop computer apart and Jones made a joke about his empty computer desk finally having another use other than where he left his coffee cup. Max grabbed diapers and milk, even the baby bouncer and swing. She took the bassinette apart to be boxed, and soon that was in the back of his truck. One squad car stayed to watch the house while they loaded up. The baby’s car seat was moved from her car to Max’s large SUV. Nicole bagged the dinner for the trash. She wouldn’t be able to make it before she they left. She looked around, sad that she had to go into hiding again and leave the place she’d made into a home because of Derek.
She longed for the day when her life would no longer be full of misery because of him and he’d be locked up in a cell. Max made sure her apartment was secured before he helped her get Jules settled in his car seat. He made sure she was secure in the passenger seat before he slid behind the wheel. They pulled away from her home and headed back to Manhattan. It seemed she would be seeing Max’s home way earlier than expected. She looked at the building that he parked in front of. It was one of the newer style condos that were springing up around New York. Glass and shiny metal reflected the last of the sun’s rays, plus a balcony. She estimated the rent in her head and knew she could never afford to live here. She kept looking up after she’d gotten out of the car. Yeah, I can’t afford this, at least not for a few years.
“I got it cheap since I was part of the co-op before they started renovations,” Max said as if he could hear her thoughts. “It’s roomy inside.”
“Hopefully he’s decorated it some, I swear he only has a bed,” Jones said.
“Don’t make me tell Jackie you have cigars hidden in your locker,” Max warned.
“Got it, mouth zipped,” Jones grinned. “I fear my wife.”
Nicole couldn’t help but smile at the two of them. Max got Jules out in his car seat and used his key card to get into the building. He unlocked his door and ushered her inside.
“Whoa,” Jones said in amazement.
Nicole assumed it meant that Max’s apartment didn’t always look this way. Lamps with soft white shades rested on wood and glass side tables. A matching coffee table was in the center of the living room in front of the beige suede sofa. Large pictures of the cityscape and abstract art hung on the walls. The bedrooms and bathrooms had frosted glass doors, and two large vases with some kind of fake flowers decorated each end. As Max gave them the tour, she noticed the brand new stainless steel appliances in the kitchen and glass containers that lined the counter and held everything from dry pasta to cereal.
“You have a very nice place,” Nicole commented.
“Yes, you do Max, when did Martha Stewart come in and do this?” Jones asked.
“I’ll tell her you throw your lunch away and eat cheeseburgers with double fries,” Max said.
“Dude, you do too, bean burgers and pita chips, seriously?” Jones protested.
“Hey I’m not married to her, you take it up with your boss,” Max answered. “Besides it’s Jackie who has been helping me. I gave her the keys and she did all of it.” He looked almost shy when he met Nicole’s gaze. “You were coming next weekend and I wanted it to look warm and cozy for the both of you.”
“You and my wife are keeping secrets, no one told me,” Jones said.
“She said you don’t want her to redecorate,” Max replied.
“Dude the last time she did, the house was chaos for almost a year, remember?” Jones asked.
Max held up his hand. “Hey again, that’s something you take up with management.”
“See if you get pie from my house again,” Jones grumbled.
“Uh-huh, we shall see.” Max looked at Nicole. “We’ll start bringing things up, so make yourself at home while we work.”
“Do you need me to make you some sandwiches or something?” Nicole asked, immediately feeling guilty that they were going to be lifting her stuff out of both vehicles and up to the seventh floor, even with the elevator.
“No, I’ll order pizza or Chinese tonight and Jones will eat at home,” Max said as he headed toward the door. “Get Jules out of the car seat before he tries to escape all by himself.”
She laughed as they left and sat on the sofa where Jules was in his car seat and chewing on his hand. “I guess we’re staying here awhile, do you like it?”
Jules’s response was to make a sound of frustration when his hand refused to stay in his mouth. Nicole laughed, got him out of his car seat, and bounced him on her knee while she watched Max and Jones work. By seven that night, his bassinette was back together and he was asleep inside. The put together the bouncer and the swing while she unpacked in the spare bedroom, very aware of the man out front. By the time she came back to the living room pizza had been delivered and Max was plating it up on the coffee table. He had two cans of ginger-ale on coasters beside the plates.
“I can’t remember the last time I ate pizza,” Nicole said as she sat down.
“Here’s another surprise.” He handed her a box and she laughed.
“The box set of the X-Files!” She laughed.
“The first one is in the blu-ray player.” He handed her the remote. “You do the honors.”
She pressed play and soon they were engrossed in the first episodes where Scully met Mulder and their adventures began. They went from eating to sitting back and watching the show, making comments about the series and what the characters considered the truth. Nicole didn’t know when she ended up leaning against his hard chest. His arm was around her, drawing lazy patterns on her arm. It was nice—well, it went past nice. Nicole knew she was ready, she wasn’t going to think about the past right then, she’d deal with it when she had to. Right now Jules was safe and asleep, while she felt secure and aroused being so close to Max. On impulse she turned quickly and pressed her lips against his. He made a sound of surprise and then gave a low moan as she kissed him. Max took over the kiss and devoured her lips, penetrating her mouth with his tongue and driving her wild.
He pulled away and his breathing was harsh. “Okay, let’s take a breath here.”
“I don’t want to,” Nicole said and tried to kiss him again.
Max held her away from his body. “Don’t do that, I can’t think straight when you’re so close. I’m trying to be a gentleman, take it slow and some other stuff I can’t remember right now. Basically I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this. If you’re not ready I can wait.”
“I’ve been given the go-ahead by my doctor to resume normal activities and birth control is on board.” Nicole frowned “I’m ready now, Max, unless I’m reading the signs wrong? I’m not good at this. I thought you wanted me to make the first move.”
“I want you, honey, you’re not doing anything wrong.” Max looked at her. “Are you sure?”
Nicole nodded. “Very sure.”
“We’re going to get Jules settled in the bedroom and put on the monitors so we can hear him. Then I will make love to you in my bed until we both fall apart,” Max said gruffly.
“Okay,” she said.
Max turned the TV off and took her hand. Together they moved the baby to the spare bedroom and made sure the baby monitors were on. Her stomach clenched with excitement and nervousness as he led her to his bedroom. The lights were dimmed and she looked at the big, wide bed in front of her.
“You can say no and walk out this door, I won’t be upset,” Max said.
Nicole turned and walked into his arms. She linked her hands behind his neck and stood on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss on his lips. “Nothing has felt this right in a long time. Make love to me, M
ax.”
“Thank God, another cold shower would’ve killed me,” Max said.
Nicole laughed huskily and he chuckled as he lowered his head to hers and their lips met. Nicole slid her fingers into his hair and Max held her tighter. Every part of her tingled as she touched him and their tongues parried and played.
Nicole pulled away and looked at Max and the pure desire that was on his face. “I want to let go and give you all of me. I think I forgot how to live or breathe without being scared.”
“Not with me, never be scared of me or of being with me, because I would cut off my own hands before I raised them to you in anger.” He held up his hands to her. “These are to cherish you and Jules, nothing else.”
Nicole laced her fingers through his. “I know, I’m getting used to that fact.”
With their fingers intertwined, Max kissed her once more. It was a slow, sweet kiss that spoke volumes.
The barrier of their clothes kept her flesh from meeting his. Max made a sound of desire as Nicole pressed her body closer. She wanted to feel more, his arms and body were rock hard and toned from his police training. She wanted to taste his skin and feel the muscles under her fingertips. He broke the kiss just long enough to pull the light blue sweater over her head. He pressed a hard kiss on her lips before he trailed his lips down her neck to the rise of her breasts. Max removed her bra with ease and she gasped as his hot mouth closed over her nipple and he lightly flicked it with his tongue. His other hand played with her breast as he made a sound of surprise. Nicole looked down to see her milk on his fingers.
“Oh God, I’m sorry, shoot, should I put my bra back on?” Nicole asked worriedly. Did it gross men out to have sex with a breastfeeding woman?
“No,” Max’s voice was almost distracted. “This is how you feed Jules, I never thought about seeing it… it’s crazy, I know you breast feed and don’t be disgusted but I think it’s hot.”